Thursday, August 16, 2007

Washington, D.C.

Domestic Use of Spy Satellites To Widen

Law Enforcement Getting New Access To Secret Imagery

The Bush administration has approved a plan to expand domestic access to some of the most powerful tools of 21st-century spycraft, giving law enforcement officials and others the ability to view data obtained from satellite and aircraft sensors that can see through cloud cover and even penetrate buildings and underground bunkers.

Oversight of the department's use of the overhead imagery data would come from officials in the Department of Homeland Security and from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence and would consist of reviews by agency inspectors general, lawyers and privacy officers. "We can give total assurance" that Americans' civil liberties will be protected, Allen said. "Americans shouldn't have any concerns about it."

February 3, 2008

Phoenix

Cowboys Complete Perfect Season, Down Houston in Super Bowl XLII

The Dallas Cowboys completed the first perfect season since the 1972 Miami Dolphins went 14-0 by downing the Houston Texans 40-0.

“I knew preseason we’d be good, but I had no idea we’d be THIS good,” a beaming Wade Phillips said. “It was almost as if we could do no wrong.”

“But what a story those Texans are. For an expansion team to go undefeated until the Super Bowl…pretty amazing, don’t you think?”

Other coaches around the league have seemed befuddled while facing these two teams all season long. “It’s uncanny…it’s like they’d come out of the locker room at halftime and they’d know exactly what we were going to do the second half,” Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren was heard to say.

Coach Phillips received a congratulatory video message from President Bush after the game.

June 15, 2008

Dallas

Mavericks Win First NBA Championship, Defeat Wizards in 4

The Dallas Mavericks are the new NBA Champions, following an unvbelievable sweep of every round of the playoffs.

“Unfreakingbelievable!” shouted owner Mark Cuban. “This is just awesome!”

The Mavericks, riding high following a 72-9 regular season, breezed through the playoffs seemingly without effort. The Wizards, 71-10 during the season and likewise undefeated during the early playoff rounds, were no match for the Mavs.

Other coaches around the league have seemed befuddled while facing these two teams all season long. “It’s uncanny…it’s like they’d come out of the locker room at halftime and they’d know exactly what we were going to do the second half,” Lakers coach Phil Jackson was heard to say.

Coach Avery Johnson received a congratulatory video message from President Bush after the game.

June 5, 2008

Las Vegas

Veep Cheney Wins Fifth Straight WSOP Bracelet

In an unbelievable and unprecedented run, Vice President #### Cheney has won his fifth consecutive World Series of Poker bracelet. “Who knew he even played poker?”, eleven-time bracelet winner Phil Helmuth whined.

“I don’t care who the hell he is, he’s a donk,” railed Mike “The Mouth” Matusow. “He has no clue of pot odds or anything. How can you play against an #### like that?”

Other players have seemed befuddled while facing Cheney this World Series. “It’s uncanny…it’s like he knows what our hole cards are” Howard Lederer was heard to say.

Pro Andy Bloch claims that there is something improper going on. “Look at that thing in his ear…you tell me he’s not cheating somehow”.

Cheney’s response to allegations of cheating were, “It’s an extension of my pacemaker. #### you. Go away.”

Cheney received a congratulatory video message from President Bush after the game.

September 29, 2008

Arlington, Texas

Rangers Finish Last Again

The Texas Rangers have finished at the bottom of the American League West yet again.

“Somehow I thought this year would be different,” bemoaned Coach Ron Washington in his second year at the helm.

“But after all—we are still the Texas Rangers.”

Here I sit, a mere hour away from the beginning of my Christmas break...couldn't be happier! I'd gripe about the fact that it's less that the customary two weeks, except 1) I know a lot of you don't get any extended break and I wouldn't want you to feel bad, and 2) my wife, for the first time since...well, since she was five, I guess...doesn't get any break to speak of except for Christmas day and New Years Day. So, I'll refrain from whining and throw out a few (mostly, but not all sports related) thoughts.

DENVER NUGGETS

Everyone is so concerned that AI and Carmello won't function well together. My thought is this...at least one of them is always going to be double teamed, or have a zone collapse on them, so wouldn't that mean the other is likely to be single covered? I'm guessing that they'll both warm to the idea...

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

I've understood most of their moves, but Ryan Klesko? I'm kind of baffled by this move. Will he stay healthy enough to actually help? Where are they planning on playing him? I thought Rich Aurilia was the answer to the first base issue.

SEATTLE MARINERS

Please...do SOMETHING! If you do indeed go out and get Barry Zito, then all is forgiven. If not....just what the F*** have you been doing this offseason? I haven't seen one deal yet that made sense.

YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL...

you've been watching (or running scoreclock in my case) a small school JV girl's basketball game where the ball gets stuck between the rim and the backboard. Of course, no one can jump up to get it...so they grab a practice ball, and one player throws it up to knock the ball loose...and it doesn't budge. She tries again...nothing. 3rd attempt...still nothing. Another player from the other team tries...heaves it up there mightily...and misses everything! Finally, a fifth attempt succeeds. Oh, joy...

LEADING ROLES

I would love to see the male lead in ANY movie played by that amazing actor, Randy Quaid. Imagine your favorite film roles. Randy Quaid as James Bond! RQ as General George Patton. RQ as Tony in West Side Story...you get the idea. And if the film calls for two leads...well, none other than Master Thespian himself, Jon Lovitz. Quaid and Lovitz as Batman and Robin...now that's good stuff!

POKER

Mike Matusow is a ####.

BOWL GAMES

Two things I'd like to see in tandem (the rest I don't care about). I'd love to see Boise State beat Oklahoma, and see Ohio State lose to Florida. Then let the discussion begin...after all, undefeated is undefeated. Maybe then we'd edge a bit closer to a real playoff.

ZAGS

Talk about a case of bad timing...I have choir rehearsal at the same time as the Gonzaga/Duke game (no, I can't skip...I'm the director). And we're not getting our DVR until the next day. Yikes! Let's hope for the North Carolina/Washington version of the Zags and not the Washington State/Georgia version.

TEMPTATION

I'm trying...really trying hard...to resist the temptation to "safety-test" a Christmas present I ordered for my sons (yes, they're adults...so what?). It's a burp gun that shoots ping-pong balls! I had one when I was a kid (then called the "Super-Duper Goofer Gun"), and loved it! Think I can make it until Christmas???

CHRISTMAS BREAK AND HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS

It'll never happen...but I strongly feel that winter sports teams should have a ban on games AND PRACTICES for the duration of winter break. Those kids...and their families...and coaches...and cheerleaders...and band members (mine do)...need a break as much as anyone else. Imagine...an athlete getting to spend some family time!

THE ULTIMATE PICK UP LINE

I developed this after it would do me any good (being very happily married to a wonderful woman), but if anyone else can use this, I'll know I benefitted the world in some small way...   "If you could read my mind, you'd either slap me or take me home."

DVR

Since we're getting one of these soon...is there anything anyone can recommend that is worth recording?

Well, if you didn't get thoroughly bored by all this, Merry Christmas!

This may bore the hell out of most of you, so feel free to pass this by...

I play poker semi-regularly in small buy-in ($25-50) tournaments locally, and often on-line (you didn't hear me say that). In about a week (Friday, to be exact), I have the day off. It also happens to be when a casino in Pendleton OR (about a 4 hour drive) has a bigger poker tournament going. That day's tourney is a $200 (or is it $250?) buy in event, with LOTS of players. Some pros are known to show up at this one...Clonie Gowen is one who comes to mind.

My quest, fellow bloggers, is this. I am attempting, over the course of a week, to raise enough money (through playing, not begging...put your checkbooks away) to pay the buy-in and overnight lodging to go to Pendleton. Starting with a $50 bankroll on Full Tilt Poker, and being able to buy into a live tourney or two locally, I hope to reach the $400 mark and hit the road late next Thursday night.

I actually had a beginning of sorts on Tuesday night, playing a $5 45 player sit n go. I won that one for $62. Wednesday afternoon I attempted to do a progressive heads up series. Won the first $6 heads up (won $12), then a $10, then a $20, and a $30. I derailed at the $50 level...back to square one. However, later in the evening, I managed to win a 90 player $5 sit n go to cash $112. Bankroll to $200...about halfway there!

I'll post my efforts over the coming week, for anyone who is interested.

In the meantime, if you've gotten this far...check out ShooterB's blog...he's set up a poker tourney for us! Shooter...you da man!

So, I find myself sitting down at the computer over the last few days, and committing one of the cardinal sins of online poker. I'm buying into tournaments that are way over a small fraction of my "bankroll"...the money I have deposited (or won via freerolls) on any given site. In fact, as I write this, I'm playing a tournament that takes over 90% of my bankroll there. And why? Because it may be my very last chance...

 You see, Mr. Frist, Senate Majority Leader, has managed to screw the people again (in the name of "what's good for us"). The online gambling ban died early last week...or so we thought. But Mr. Frist managed to attach it to the Port Security Bill. Real revalent, huh? I know that's business as usual in politics. But because this conservative #### decides he wants to protect us from ourselves, he snuck this bill in under the radar. Heck, everyone wants our ports secure, right? Who's going to vote against this because of some silly little gambling law?

 
So, where does that leave us online poker players? No one really knows just yet. Speculation is that it could be over as early as tomorrow...or that there will be no effect on online poker at all. I suspect the real answer is somewhere in between.

The World Series of Poker has grown to huge proportions...much to the chagrin of some. I suspect that if online poker is indeed crippled, the WSOP will shrink back to being mainly pros. How many of us can afford to buy in for $10,000 for the main event? Not many.

Thank you, Mr. Frist, for protecting us against ourselves. (Now where is that sarcasm font when I need it?)

I have a theory as to why poker has experienced such an incredible boom…

Many men my age (late 40s) grew up idolizing baseball players. The fantasy of coming to the plate in game 7 of the world series, two outs, bases loaded, down by 3, was played over and over and over in our young minds. The dream of playing the game at the highest level, day in and day out, was all-consuming. We didn’t even consider the money aspect. Just to be PLAYING every day, instead of trudging off to work like our fathers, called to many of us.

For a lot of us, the call never went away. Even well after it became practical to think about it, the dream/fantasy persisted. At the age of forty, I joked with my best friend about waiting for the call from the Cubs after Ryne Sandberg retired. We both knew it was impossible, but somewhere in the back of our minds, were the headlines in the sports pages about the unknown “old” rookie burst onto the scene.

Once I FORCED myself to become more realistic (a very tall task, to be sure), the fantasy became managing a floundering team. The exasperated owner, after firing his manager, would proclaim that “any random #### could do a better job”, and stick a finger into the phone book and come up with my name. Off I’d go to rescue the team. But this fantasy never had quite the same appeal as playing.

(A side note…I think very few of our kids growing up have the same baseball fantasy. It’s been replaced by the basketball fantasy, for the most part).

Then, a few years ago…poker hit television. There we were, watching stacks of chips, hole cards, and big money payouts. And as we watched, we realized…these are not, for the most part, young, good looking, athletic people. They were ORDINARY guys…hell, they were guys like us! To be sure, the young guys were there, and the really old guys, and the women…but there were guys like us, with disappearing hair, guts, arms that couldn’t get a ball from center field to home plate on the fly.

And…once some of us poked around on line for a while, and did some reading…found out that we could play too! We could win play money sit n go’s, a freeroll tournament…and eventually, a very low limit online tournament. Then we followed with the venture to the local casino…where we got stomped for a while. But eventually we’d finish barely in the money, then on up the ladder a ways, and then, hey, a win! Granted, there were LOTS of losses in between…but no matter. After all, if closers have to have a short memory…so can poker players!

So, the baseball fantasy became replaced…with the final table WSOP or WPT fantasy. And let me tell you, my friends, that fantasy is alive and well. This year, our local 40 person tourney…next year, Main Event WSOP! At least, in my imagination…

Here it is, the inagural post in my blog. Why Aces and Bases? Because my blog will primarily cover two areas...baseball and poker.

Regarding the first...my comments will mostly be concerning two teams. Everyone has to have two teams, right? An American League and a National League team, right? Well, everyone SHOULD have two teams. That way you can always keep your (ridiculous, in my case) fantasy that your two teams will someday meet in the World Series. I'll be discussing the Giants (my favorite team all my life...I grew up idolizing Willie Mays), and the Mariners (my American League team since April 8, 1983, when I saw my first major league game live...4-1 winners over the Yankees, Todd Cruz hit two homers, Dave Winfield one).

As for the second...I know, poker isn't a sport...but it seems that the sports folks have done the best job of picking up the game and running with it. Thus, I'll use this place to talk about my (relatively) newfound passion/addiction. Don't worry...there won't be a ton of bad beat stories.

I may occasionally rant on about other things in general...and if you aren't happy, just skip over that entry.

Here's what you WON'T find in my blog...lots of personal stuff. This isn't the time nor the place for my deepest innermost thoughts (hell, most people don't see me as having a deep innermost side!)

Finally, most of what I write about is trivial...as much as I really enjoy both baseball and poker, in the great scheme of things, neither are very important. They are fun, certainly...but that's about as deep as it goes.

So...here goes!

Saxman