Law
Enforcement Getting New Access To Secret Imagery
The Bush administration has approved a plan to expand
domestic access to some of the most powerful tools of 21st-century spycraft,
giving law enforcement officials and others the ability to view data obtained
from satellite and aircraft sensors that can see through cloud cover and even
penetrate buildings and underground bunkers.
Oversight of the department's use of the overhead imagery
data would come from officials in the Department of Homeland Security and from
the Office of the Director of National Intelligence and would consist of
reviews by agency inspectors general, lawyers and privacy officers. "We
can give total assurance" that Americans' civil liberties will be
protected, Allen said. "Americans shouldn't have any concerns about
it."
February 3, 2008
Phoenix
Cowboys Complete Perfect Season, Down Houston
in Super Bowl XLII
The Dallas Cowboys completed the first perfect season since
the 1972 Miami Dolphins went 14-0 by downing the Houston Texans 40-0.
“I knew preseason we’d be good, but I had no idea we’d be
THIS good,” a beaming Wade Phillips said. “It was almost as if we could do no
wrong.”
“But what a story those Texans are. For an expansion team to
go undefeated until the Super Bowl…pretty amazing, don’t you think?”
Other coaches around the league have seemed befuddled while
facing these two teams all season long. “It’s uncanny…it’s like they’d come out
of the locker room at halftime and they’d know exactly what we were going to do
the second half,” Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren was heard to say.
Coach Phillips received a congratulatory video message from
President Bush after the game.
June 15, 2008
Dallas
Mavericks Win First NBA Championship, Defeat Wizards in 4
The Dallas Mavericks are the new NBA Champions, following an
unvbelievable sweep of every round of the playoffs.
“Unfreakingbelievable!” shouted owner Mark Cuban. “This is
just awesome!”
The Mavericks, riding high following a 72-9 regular season,
breezed through the playoffs seemingly without effort. The Wizards, 71-10
during the season and likewise undefeated during the early playoff rounds, were
no match for the Mavs.
Other coaches around the league have seemed befuddled while
facing these two teams all season long. “It’s uncanny…it’s like they’d come out
of the locker room at halftime and they’d know exactly what we were going to do
the second half,” Lakers coach Phil Jackson was heard to say.
Coach Avery Johnson received a congratulatory video message
from President Bush after the game.
June 5, 2008
Las Vegas
Veep Cheney Wins Fifth Straight WSOP Bracelet
In an unbelievable and unprecedented run, Vice President
#### Cheney has won his fifth consecutive World Series of Poker bracelet. “Who
knew he even played poker?”, eleven-time bracelet winner Phil Helmuth whined.
“I don’t care who the hell he is, he’s a donk,” railed Mike
“The Mouth” Matusow. “He has no clue of pot odds or anything. How can you play
against an #### like that?”
Other players have seemed befuddled while facing Cheney this
World Series. “It’s uncanny…it’s like he knows what our hole cards are” Howard
Lederer was heard to say.
Pro Andy Bloch claims that there is something improper going
on. “Look at that thing in his ear…you tell me he’s not cheating somehow”.
Cheney’s response to allegations of cheating were, “It’s an
extension of my pacemaker. #### you. Go away.”
Cheney received a congratulatory video message from
President Bush after the game.
September 29, 2008
Arlington, Texas
Rangers Finish Last Again
The Texas Rangers have finished at the bottom of the
American League West yet again.
“Somehow I thought this year would be different,” bemoaned
Coach Ron Washington in his second year at the helm.
Hello...I am an educator and musician living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Baseball and poker are my interests here...beyond that, about all I follow is Gonzaga Basketball and whatever tidbits I can pick up to avoid getting totally crushed in my football pool.
