Three years ago, Maurice Clarett was running the ball for the National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes, but today he is running from the Columbus (Ohio) Police. A recent incident outside of a Columbus night club, during which Clarett brandished a fire arm, has added to the meteoric fall of a man who was once considered a Heisman Trophy candidate and sure fire NFL star.
In a scene eerily reminiscent of the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase, Clarett is currently leading CPD on a chase around the I-270 outer-belt that circles Columbus. He is being driven by former Buckeye turned criminal, Damon Stringer in a white 2004 Cadillac Escalade. At last report, they were traveling near the I-70/I-270 intersection on Columbus’ east side. Police are currently in touch with Clarett via cell phone, and report that he has asked for a helicopter and a tryout with the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian Football League. He also requested that a six pack of Coke and a Donato’s Pizza be airdropped onto the top of the Escalade.
The Clarett family psychologist, Dr. Joseph Herrera, has been brought in. He believes that Clarett's recent and brief stint as a trash collector ( see above photo ) may have contributed to his setback. If anything, it was a definite blow to his ego. When Dr. Herrera spoke to Maurice on the phone, Clarett kept repeating the words, “Lebron money…Lebron money”. This is obviously a reference to the money Clarett and his backers believed he would make in the NFL. Unfortunately for Maurice, his surprise pick by the Denver Broncos never lead to the career he dreamed about, or the pay day his friends and family were counting on. He never saw the field during the pre-season and was released before the regular season started.
He has been seen roaming around the Columbus and Youngstown areas muttering to himself and constantly polishing his Big Ten and National Championship rings. One can only imagine that Clarett must kick himself on a daily basis for the decisions he has made in the last few years.
Throngs of onlookers are beginning to line the guardrails of I-270 in anticipation of the outcome of this strange tale, all hoping that it ends near their neighborhood. I, for one, just hope that Maurice ends up where he deserves... In the #### Hall of Fame.
Absolute comedy classic! Life isn`t going to be so easy for Mo-J without football. I can`t help but thinking a sportscenter wanna be will holla "The Broncos third round pick is running wild in Ohio and the playoffs haven`t even started!" Great post...I needed a laugh.
DID YOU PULL THE WINGS OFF INSECTS WHEN YOU WERE A BOY? GO AFTER THE PEOPLE LIKE GEORGE W AND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BIN LADENS.THATS A STORY WORTH HAVING SOME FUN WITH.!
Racer,
No one is more dissappointed about Clarett's situation than I am. Okay... maybe HE is. As a college footbal and Buckeye fan, it hurts to see a promising young player, especially one who helped OSU win a National Title, go the route he has. Believe me, I can't stand GW. I still have my "The Boy King Must Go: Stop Bush" bumper sticker on my car, and plenty more to pass around (my friend made them) in my garage. Unfortunately, with all this spying going on, I could end up the target of a major investigation for saying the wrong thing on the internet. How sad is that? Are we still in America, by the way?
My name is Nelson Morales. I go by Sandy Bunkerman, N.D. Ruff, and Walt R. Hazzard. I mostly write funny, fake golf articles for my friends, but I figured I'd give this a shot. I am a diehard Steelers fan, a Cavs fan and Ohio State fanatic with an opinion on all things Buckeye. I grew up near Cleveland (not easy for a Steelers fan). I currently reside in Columbus, Ohio.
