In a move that is sure to rock the basketball world, Allen Iverson has left the Philadelphia 76ers and the NBA. His 76er teammates are in shock. They had been looking for him to help them bounce back from a recent loss to the Hawks and lead them against a tough Denver Nuggets team tonight. They will now have to finish the season without him. 

Why did Allen Iverson leave the NBA? Iverson’s camp gave me an exclusive, and I was as shocked as you will be. Allen Iverson has signed to play for the Mexico City Cucarachas of the Mexican Basketball Association, where the six footer will be the tallest player in the league. It seems that Iverson feels he has done all he can in the NBA and has proven that he can play against the giants of the game. He wants a new challenge. According to our insiders, Iverson said, “I want to know what it’s like to be Shaq.”

Last night, he had that opportunity. With virtually no media hype, he played his first game with his new team against the Cancun Tamales. Mr. Iverson recorded an astounding 26 blocked shots and score 112 points in his debut. He also had the first dunk in league history. The unfortunate, posterized soul who will be on every Mexican teenager’s wall for years to come was 5’6” power forward Julio Hernandez, a perennial MBA All-Star and all-time league rebound leader.

My sources claim that the NBA’s mandatory dress code also had a lot to do with Iverson’s decision. It seems that the Mexican Basketball Association allows their players to dress however they please… even during games. However, there is one rule that the MBA enforces. It concerns tattoos. Within the first two months with the league, each player must receive a Virgin Mary tattoo somewhere on his body. Iverson apparently has no problem with this mandate, and plans to visit his personal tattoo artist within the week.

The Mexican Basketball Association had been looking for a marquee player since Eduardo Najera, the tallest Mexican in history, turned down offers from the league in 2000. Najera opted to join the NBA and is now with the very same Denver Nuggets Iverson would have been suiting up against tonight, had he not made this surprising move.

Cucarachas Head Coach Emilio Romero declined interviews and cancelled his nightly radio show, so even the Mexican media is left to speculate what Iverson’s arrival means for the MBA. One can only imagine that other teams will look to add their own six footers. Rumor has it that the MBA teams are offering competitive contract terms and are throwing in convertible 1964 Chevrolet Impalas as signing bonuses.

Only time will tell whether other little big men will head south, but for right now, the MBA is Allen Iverson’s personal playground.