Apparently, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree as, Hank Steinbrenner, the newly appointed leader of one of the Big Apple’s most famous institutions is following in his father’s footsteps.  In the midst of baseball’s current baseball steroids scandal, which prominently figures two of New York’s most famous pitchers, Steinbrenner has publicly questioned why his sport is being singled out by these investigations and why more attention isn’t being paid to the NFL.

Steinbrenner recently got off this ingenius quote.  "I don't like baseball being singled out…. Everybody that knows sports knows football is tailor-made for performance-enhancing drugs. I don't know how they managed to skate by. It irritates me. Don't tell me it's not more prevalent. The number in football is at least twice as many. Look at the speed and size of those players."  An NFL spokesperson quickly responded that the NFL began random testing for steroids in 1990.

Twice as many??  Does that mean if 75% of major league baseball players were on the juice in the 1990s, that 150% of the NFL was also?  Hank, it wasn’t the NFL that turned a blind eye to its rampant, drug problem for the sake of self-promotion.  Anyone that knows sports knows THAT!

Now with all this slander love that’s floating around between Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee, can’t the NFL get a little action on this?  One would think with allegations like that, the NFL could soon OWN the Yankee franchise.  Perhaps Baby Steinbrenner isn’t aware that the National Football League has consistently had one of professional sports’ most strenuous drug-testing policies around.  The league is also far more consistent in penalizing its players for such violations, which is more that can be said for major league baseball.  Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds are currently being persecuted and having their legacies tarnished while others mentioned in a thoroughly incomplete Mitchell report are not being penalized at all???  How’s that for consistency and self-regulation.

Yes, the NFL’s players are generally larger in stature than those who play major league baseball; the sport calls for it.  Perhaps if these mammoths of men sported pot-bellies instead of bulging biceps, they could have tried out for their college baseball teams.  Instead these athletes opted for the NFL because… it’s a better league and a far more, exciting product.

So Hank, perhaps you should take a lesson from your father, who has mellowed out considerably over the years.  Growing up a Red Sox fan, as much as I hated King George, the respect he demands in baseball is undeniable.  At least we now have a new Steinbrenner to hate.  In the future, try thinking before you speak.  Oh, and don’t be surprised if you soon hear back from those ‘juiced up’ football players who you unwisely accused of wrongdoing.  I hope that works out for ya’.

At a local Lexington, Kentucky Dunkin’ Donuts, with local and national media abound, Roger Clemens made an announcement to make baseball fans nationwide (and by nationwide, I mean the metro New York area) rejoice about his comeback and current conditioning. Certain Foxbloggers astutely witnessed Bluegrass Lady, elegantly sipping latte in the background with her 2007-08 U.K. basketball media guide in hand.

“The arm feels good,” uttered Clemens, licking the frosting off his fingers after swallowing his fourth consecutive hot, fresh glazed. “I wish there were three of me. I really do.”

Many misunderstood this comment as intended to appease Astros, Yankees and Red Sox fans, but after today’s display, it appears clear Clemens was clearly referring to his somewhat diminished ability to finish off a dozen donuts at his usual Hall of Fame pace.

When questioned why Clemens opted for a third chocolate-covered crueler over the more popular, frosted jelly, Clemens explained “when it's all said and done at the end of the year, I'll tell you the exact reasons why I did what I did.” 

Deciding on a foamy, fattening latte over an espresso, the Rocket mentioned such a stimulant might not let him effectively “handle the stress of a major league game.”

Clemens and the Yankee organization are targeting late May or early June for his return, but his minor league appearances along the way have been strategically scheduled around Krispy Kreme availability.