This was the perfect week for the Mariners. They capped a 12-game losing streak, revealed to the world that half the team hates Ichiro so much they want to beat him up, became the first team in history to lose 100 games with a $100 million payroll, and capped it off by announcing that the people responsible are coming back for another year. Awesome.

I've said this before to all of you Seattle fans who continue to support the Mariners with your money, but I'm going to say it again, in much plainer language:

If you go to Safeco Field, you don't understand baseball, you don't care about your team, you're wasting your money, you have no brain, you have no spine, you have no testicles, you worship Satan, you smell bad, you aren't human, you frighten babies, you're dumber than Sarah Palin, you think you're cool because you shop at H&M, you are responsible for the Sonics leaving, you litter, you make love to rotting corpses, you wear diapers, you hate puppies, and you think everyone likes you but they don't because you're dumb enough to continue to give money to the worst organization in the history of professional sports and you're offensive in every way a human being can possibly be.

I hate you.

I hate you for taking my team away from me.

I hate you for voting with your money, telling Yamauchi: "Yes! I don't care how badly this team is mismanaged! Here's some cash! I want to sit in your stadium and watch a terrible team play terrible baseball! I understand nothing!"

Five years ago I abandoned this team for their apathetic style of personnel management. It drove Piniella away, and it drove me away. It made *me* apathetic.

I had hoped that other people would realize this, and there would be a regime change, and I'd be able to re-embrace my formerly-beloved Mariners. That hasn't happened. Things have gotten worse. My apathy has transformed into pure, abject hatred. I hate this team, I hate Armstrong, I hate Lincoln, I hate Ichiro, I hate Bedard, I hate Yamauchi, and I hate every single stupid #### who sits in those stands for 81 games every year.

STOP-GOING-TO-SAFECO-FIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!

"I'm #### sick of it. Before this ####-mess o####ame Chuck Armstrong came into my office and #### yelled at me and the other #### coaches for being 21-39. #### you! Who do you think you are you mother-#### piece of corporate ####!?!?!

YOU'RE the #### genius who re-signed Bill 'Nepotism' Bavasi! YOU'RE the #### wizard who ignored the #### egg I layed after Mike 'the #### Traitor' Hargrove #### and ran! YOU'RE the mother-#### lazy-#### #### with no imagination who doesn't realize that our #### scouts aren't qualified to read a radar gun, and our #### farm system couldn't develop a #### hen-house!

We #### have the 9th-highest #### payroll in baseball. Tampa Bay and Florida aren't #### paying half of that, combined, and they're both 10-####-times better than this ####-poor excuse of a lazy, leaderless, ####-licking team. My roster is full of whiny ####es who like nothing better than bending over and spreading their #### cheeks with a hand held out for their big #### payday, and we give it to them cause we don't #### know the difference between Carlos Guillen and a crack-####'s crab-infested sloppy ####-crusted ####.

Hey! Bavasi! Yes, you, ya bony ####! Thanks for the mother-#### starting pitchers! You tied up 1/3 of our payroll in 3 aging impotent ####ks who you knew would be in the bottom 3 slots, and they're STILL #### underachieving; AND you gave away too #### much for an overrated lefty loner with no history of winning; AND the only guy who isn't getting a #### bloated paycheck worships mother-#### Freddy Garcia! DID YOU HEAR ME?!?! THE LYNCHPIN OF THIS #### ORGANIZATION PRAYS AT THE FEET OF BASEBALL'S FAT PARIS HILTON IMPERSONATOR! Are you #### SURPRISED that F-Her is about as consistent as a meteorologist!?!?

Oh, and thanks for 3 more #### years of Kenji Johjima. Our #### worthless pitchers HATE him enough to risk being labelled racists so they can #### about him to our Japan-loving press, but #### that, let's re-sign him RIGHT BEFORE HE LOSES HIS BATSPEED AND BECOMES COMPLETELY WORTHLESS! #### Jeff Clement!

And thanks for Sexson, Beltre, Aurilia, O'Flaherty, Ramirez, Weaver, Reed, Guillen, Ichiro's #### attitude, Cairo, Vidro, Wilkerson, Davis, Cameron ... #### it, is there a #### point to listing all of our #### horrible decisions? Does it #### matter anymore? This #### organization literally has more #### ####-ups than players who are actually EARNING THEIR #### SALARY!

Oh, wait, I apologize Mr. #### Yamauchi, you're still making a #### profit off of these #### dumb-#### Seattle tools, aren't you, so you don't give a #### I'm sorry, I forgot that you have no #### reason to actually put people in place who know anything about baseball. Since you won't fly over the #### Pacific to whip out your greedy ####, I'll just PRETEND you're here by sticking a #### bat up by ####!"

So many things to talk about! I'm gonna take a break from my NBA Draft stuff to indulge myself ...

Vince Young's Strange Week - The news around VY exemplifies one of the problems I have with modern media and modern discourse: our inability to analyze problems as a *whole*. Let me summarize Vince's career: he hired a terrible client, revealed himself to be a dope in the wonderlic tests, had a surprisingly good rookie year ... which apparently he hated, so he kinda-sorta thought about quitting, and then had some sort of epiphany that changed his whole outlook on life ... which resulted in a *terrible* second year and a shirtless drinking binge. Terrific. Uh ... what direction is his life taking? What are Titan fans supposed to expect from this guy?

I was Wrong about the Lakers - For the past year I never wavered on my belief that the Spurs would win the whole thing. I won't even use the non-call on Barry as an excuse, because I think the Lakers would've won anyway. The Lakers are going to win the Title because they have Phil Jackson ... or is it just because the other guy will be either Flip Saunders or Doc Rivers? Whatever.

the Magic's New GM - Thank you, Orlando, for taking another overrated Seattle property. You got Rashard Lewis away from us, and now you've hired Rick Sund for some reason. For those of you who don't know him, Sund is the most unexciting, average, uninspired, boring executive in the NBA. Why not just hire Bill Simmons? I'm not repeating a joke, I'm deadly serious. Why not? What about me? What about ... Major Applewhite?  Isn't *anything* better than mediocrity?

Doug Collins? DOUG COLLINS? - Re-read the last passage.

Bill Bavasi gets a Vote of Confidence - One of my passionate sports-beliefs is: when a team is mediocre, *blow it up*! I said that the Mariners' 2007 season was the *worst* thing that could happen to them because it would convince everyone that the front office knew what it was doing. Everyone disagreed with me. Who's the #### now? 2007 gave this town another year of Bill Bavasi, and you're all starting to see a record that *actually* reflects the quality of this team. The Mariners are making a lot of money, and in recent years they've finally decided to spend some of that on the payroll, but it doesn't matter because they DON'T HAVE AN #### CLUE! Stop going to Safeco Field you stupid, gullible, ignorant tools.

The signing of TJ Duckett was annoying ... and the fact that Shaun Alexander is still on the roster is upsetting (but not horrifying, because he probably will be cut later this year, thank God), but then I saw this in the paper:

seattlepi.nwsource.com/football/354093_hawk07.html


What? Huh? WHAT????!!!!?????

I mean ... this is just .... F'ING WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Doesn't anyone understand what this is? Shouldn't the Seahawks understand better than anyone what Julius Jones is? HE'S F'ING SHAUN ALEXANDER WITHOUT THE STATISTICS! That's what this team needs? Another selfish, money-obsessed, stubborn wuss? Another guy who has no interest in breaking tackles? Another guy who will even quit the pretense of running hard once he lands a big deal? Another guy who the offensive line will stop blocking for?

Oh my God ... I feel sick ... Alexander's presence has been steadily killing my love for the Seahawks the past two seasons ... two seasons that I predicted after he signed that contract because I know what kind of guy he is ... and they're going to do it again ... I might dump the whole team, our stupid sports teams in this city just don't have a clue.

There's only one acceptable explanation for this bit of news (and the only thing that's keeping me optimistic): the Seahawks are giving Shaun Alexander a big fat spiteful 'F U' by effectively telling him: 'This is what we think of your lazy behind! We're talking to JULIUS JONES! He embodies everything that we hate about you, but he's younger, and that's good enough for us because you have no interest in demystifying the stereotype that running backs are worthless after their 30th birthday, even though you TOLD us it was a myth that wouldn't apply to you, go to hell.'

If either Jones or Alexander is on this roster at the beginning of the year, there is a genuine threat that I will quit my fandom ... this comes after I abandoned the M's in 2003 due to incompetence, and after the Sonics started packing their bags last year ... what else do I have? My sports-self is more depressed than Isiah Thomas.

I'm not sure that people understand what a good minor league system is all about. Case in point: Art Thiel, a well-known local columnist. He told me in a personal e-mail (paraphrasing): "The Yanks are the worst team in the MLB at talent development." I cannot understand how one can come to this conclusion. I also don't understand how people can have blind, optimistic faith in the Mariners player development, seeing as how there's virtually no precedent of it succeeding.

Good player development is not about winning in the minor leagues, it's not about having big-name talent on your minor league teams (B.J. Upton, Adam Jones), it's not even about calling up players. Good player development is about results. It's about having resources, and doing something with them.

I would argue that, even if the Yankees had not called up a single player from their minor league system over the past ten years, they'd still qualify as one of the best talent developers in baseball. Why? Because they do something with their talent!

' We need an outfielder because Matsui and Sheffield are indefinitely injured? Alright, package up a few prospects and get Bobby Abreu.'

If they actually are bad at developing talent, but the other teams in the league perceive their prospects as being elite and hand them established players for their minor leaguers, that makes them an even better organization. But this isn't even the worst part. The worst part is that the Yankees do develop their own talent.

At the beginning of last year, everyone happily declared that the Yankees minor leagues were completely devoid of talent. They had nothing. They might as well have had little leaguers playing ... according to all baseball pundits at the time ...

'What? Our team is nearly crippled by injuries? Alright, call up a few necessary pieces from the minors ... Wang and Cano are their names? Fine.'

In his short career, Wang is 21-9 with a 3.77 ERA. Cano isn' t too shabby either, batting .306 in that same time. These are two of the guys who were part of a minor league system that possessed no prospects whatsoever.

Even putting aside the developments like Jeter, Rivera, Posada, etc. That accomplishment, last year, of bringing up those two guys in the middle of the season and having them make major contributions makes the Yankees so damn respectable that I hate them so much more. I'm really, really, really jealous.

Why is this a reason that the Mariners are horrible? It's pretty obvious, the Mariners simply aren't capable of anything remotely resembling this.

This is an organization that has had loads and loads of talent in the past ten years. What has come of it? Uh ... well, let's see ...

- Felix Hernandez! Who's ... underachieving ... and his hero is Freddy Garcia, who has the body language of a petulant 5-year-old, and whose World-Series-winning team is trying to dump him ...

- Rafael Soriano! Who ... can't stay healthy ...

- Carlos Guillen! No ... he was an Astros development, and spent almost no time in the M's minors, and got traded away for nothing to the Tigers where he's become an All-Star ...

- Scott Podsednik! Oh, right, the M's thought he was worthless and dumped him ...

- Pitching! Guys like Clint Nageotte, Travis Blackley, Ryan Anderson, Dennis Stark, ... oh, sorry, those guys WERE top prospects ...

- Wait, Joel Pineiro is still around! Oh yeah ... his ERA has gotten worse each of the last four years ...

Okay, honestly, what have been the fruits of their recent efforts? Jose Lopez, who's pretty good; Yuniesky Betancourt; F-Her, of course; and the trading of Shin-Soo Choo for Ben Broussard. This doesn't look that bad, but we have to remember that Ken Cloude, Joel Pineiro and Jose Cruz looked pretty good too. This organization has shown absolutely no aptitude to develop players who actually play well for more than a couple of years.

Afterthought

The Yankees acquire Abreu and Lidle for the cost of ... none of their elite prospects (who weren't supposed to exist). The Mariners trade away Choo, one of their best prospects, and get Ben Broussard, a middling designated hitter. How does this work? Is this simply a product of the Yankees 'mystique'? Is that why the Yankees can make all of these bizarre, lopsided deals while the Mariners tread water (at best)? Or is this further evidence of Seattle ineptitude. Probably a combination.

Another Thought

Someone on local radio said that if the Cardinals called and offered Albert Pujols for Ichiro Suzuki, we wouldn't be able to do it simply because of our Japanese owner. This is absolutely true, sad, and reason no. 32 why the Mariners organization is an abortion and you should never attend Safeco Field while this regime remains in control.

Jerry Porter ... Relatively, This Makes Randy Moss Look Better...

Let me get this straight: working under brilliant, successful coaches like Bill Callahan and Norv Turner is perfectly fine, but then some #### comes along named Art Shell who actually has a little experience and enjoys enforcing a little discipline, and that's too much. Everyone talks about the wuss-factor of A-Rod leaving New York (should it ever happen), well, Jerry Porter asking out of Oakland is ten times worse. If I were a GM, I wouldn't even let him on my practice squad.

Shin-Soo Choo for Ben Broussard

Uh ... okay. Rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic ... but I'm still a bit impressed that they were able to pull the plug on one of their better prospects. At least they got rid of Carl Everett, yet another example of their brilliant track record of picking up veteran free agents.

Hold-outs

I'm just thrilled that in my fantasy leagues I'm not the one who's stuck with Reggie Bush. I'm amazed that the Patriots are tolerating this nonsense with Deion Branch. Prediction: In one year, we'll be talking about the horribleness of Vince Young's rookie contract; great talent, poor judgment.

Harold Reynolds and the Bengals

This country is great. Apparently, if you grab a little ####mp;A (at worst, still not sure what went on there)  you get canned. But feel free to use illicit drugs, rape adolescent girls, and ignore imperatives from policemen, you'll still have a job in the NFL. Cincinnati fans? Have a little dignity and boo the jersey off of Chris Henry's back. Harold? Learn play-by-play, like Mike Tirico, then you'd just get suspended instead of fired.

In the poker world, there's an epidemic that consuming everything from multi-million-dollar-pot tournaments to freeroll sit-and-go's: ####ing. Everyone's convinced that they're a brilliant player, and they only lose when somebody else sucks out because of 'bad play'. Freshest in our minds is the grief that Zilem kid (I believe that was his name) got at the recent WSOP circuit event just because he caught a number of lucky breaks on the river. Then there was that other ####-bag who channeled Hellmuth by declaring 'I always put my money in with the best hand.'

Please, all of you, SHUT UP!

There's a reason that it's called 'bad play', because it's BAD PLAY! If you go all-in with a pair of aces, and get called by some #### with 7-2 suited, you're going to win that hand 9 times out of 10, you should be thrilled to see that someone called with that hand. Sure, there's the possibility that he flops a flush (yes, this has happened to me, and yes, I nearly ripped my own trachea out), but that's the risk that HE takes. He's buying a ticket to the mini-lottery, but with a much less proportionate pay-day, HE'S the ####, HE'S taking the risk, and HE'S the one who's put a gun to his own head and pulled the trigger, the possiblity of him missing himself and hitting you is just part of the game.

Everyone acts like these bad plays are some form of cheating. When a player gets called by someone J-10 suited, they look at those cards and sigh, and they're pissed off, and they angrily say: 'You called with THAT! Jesus ...' What's there to be angry about? They just called with a hand that's probably going to lose! You should be laughing! The fact that they COULD win is inconsequential, this is poker. There's almost ALWAYS a chance of getting sucked out, not all confrontations can take place after the river.

If you don't want to get sucked out, then limp-in, or don't bet at a calling station, or just bluff out the tight guy who likes waiting out his draws. Adapt!

I am a rather tight player. Because of this, I get sucked out far more often than I suck out. Yes, it makes me angry when it happens, but I never #### and moan. It's because I know that on most of these lopsided confrontations, I'm going to cash in. And eventually, loosey-goosey over there is going to be broke.

Let's run a quick analogy. Let's say there's a dice game at a casino (a really bad casino that doesn't know how to turn a profit). It's very simple: you put down a certain amount of money, say $10,000, and roll a die; if it comes up any number but 1 you win $10,000. If it comes up 1, you lose it. That's it.

Now, are you going to be angry at this game because of that *chance* that you can lose? Or are you thrilled that you even have the opportunity to play this game? That game is the horrible player sitting across from you who's in love with suited connectors. Enjoy him.

Apparently, Jim Bowden said that the Mariners are one of the teams interested in making a trade for out-of-position-phenom Alfonso Soriano. For the sake of this blog, let's first assume that this is correct ... even though this is a negotiating tactic, and the Mariners don't have the balls to do a major deal like this. Secondly, let's forget about my meta-opinions (foremost, that people shouldn't go to Mariners games in an effort to get the awful owner to sell so that we can get some competent leadership in the front office).

Okay? Going forward, the Mariners are just another team who are in the middle of a division race.

This would be a terrible trade.

I'm not saying that because his contract is up at the end of the year, or because he wants to play second base and therefore would never resign with the Mariners (they've already got an All-Star second baseman), or because he's a poor defensive player, or because he's expensive ...

I'm saying it because ... what would it accomplish?

The terribleness of the AL West dictates that the mediocre M's are in the midst of a bizarrely tight race (which the A's could run away with in the near future). So, the addition of a huge bat like Soriano could give this offense enough of a lift to actually win it. Especially if they only gave up prospects to do it (obviously, doing something like trading away Meche to get him wouldn't be terribly helpful).

So then they go to the playoffs and face-off against the Red Sox (the probable 2-seed). And ... do you really think they stand a chance? Do you really think they're producing enough runs against Schilling and Beckett to win that series (especially if Beckett transformed into his World Series MVP version where he's pitching ghost balls)? Do you really think that our starters are going to stand up against that offense?

What if we got past the Red Sox, would we stand any chance against New York? Or Chicago's starters? Or ... ANYONE? (well, maybe a National League team or two ...)

Look, in general, the baseball postseason is about starters. The ONLY chance the Mariners have of fulfilling that requirement is if F-Her pulls a Beckett. The odds of that are thin. The other starters have shown absolutely no propensity for any postseason magic.

Secondary is clutch hitting. Do the M's have any of that? Ichiro does, but he's the lead-off hitter, so who cares?

So what would the M's get if they grabbed Soriano? A thinner minor league system, a few million bucks in lost payroll, and a dent in the progress of Adam Jones.

The sad thing about this is: one of the my main criticisms of the organization has been their reluctance to make mid-season trades to acquire win-now talent (why Piniella left). If they actually answered that criticism and pulled *this* trade off, it would be pointless and sad and further proof of their incompetence. It's the kind of deal they should've been making five years ago, when they were actually fielding something that resembled a competitor and they had prospects to trade away (none of whom have developed, by the way).

And they won't be fielding a real competitor anytime soon. The position that they actually need, starting pitcher, is a terrible market right now, and even if it was a good market the Mariners wouldn't think they needed any, or wouldn't have the balls to make a deal for one. They're willing to pay ten million dollars a year for one through Free Agency (Washburn) ... but only if he's old and overrated and has injury concerns.

But this is all moot. This trade will never happen, if it did it would be inconsequential, and I'm not a fan so I don't give a damn.

According to Art Thiel, at the All-Star game, Ichiro said: "You need to look at the root. But you cannot see the root. The mistake is to keep watering the tree. That's not going to solve anything."

I have no idea what the context was, or even what he meant, but I agree completely with him.

To me, the tree is the team, and the water is money. The money that the fans keep feeding the tree keeps the team on this stagnant path of doing just enough to keep that water coming. You keep feeding the tree, and therefore you're just maintaining an organization that pays just enough money to convince its fans that it's trying to win, never makes meaningful (or good) trades, never develops a prospect ... I could go on and on, and I have, before.

I ask you, Mariners fans: do you want this to continue? Do you want an owner who sits on the other side of the Pacific and bathes in money? Do you like these up-and-down seasons that never amount to anything?  Do you want a neverending string of coaching hires who all stink? Do you want people in the front office who admit that they run the team to make money rather than win games?

I know that you're all kind of optimistic about this team because of June, and because of Jose Lopez, and Gil Meche, and because people from a good city who don't know anything about sports are naturally optimistic ... but just a couple of months ago you were all down on the Mariners, because they stunk. You'll feel that way in a few months, trust me.

It's really like an abusive boyfriend. He beats you every weeknight after work, but then on the weekends he cooks you dinner, and makes a bath with rose-petals, and brings you flowers. The sad thing is, the analogy goes even further. On the weeknights, you're miserable, because you're bloody and battered, but you defend him: 'Well, he didn't KILL me ... and I am a bad wife ... and he did come from a bad childhood, so he needs time to improve himself' ('They're just rebuilding, bad teams can turn around')

It can't continue! You must either stab him during a fight, or talk a cop into instigating an incident with him so that he can shoot him (getting him arrested isn't enough, he might stalk you).

Or let it continue. Remember that record they set? 90wins-90wins-90losses-90losses. Do you want more history-making like that just so that we can occasionally have a 116-win fraudulent season where there's no chance of winning of a title (because of the lack of aces, by the way)?

Keep it going, keep allowing yourself to get punched in the face every night. I don't care, I'm not a fan, I don't have the broken nose.

One year ago, the Mariners could've traded Eddie Guardado for a decent prospect or two.

'No, no, we have to keep him! This team is right on the cusp! We need Eddie for next year, when we'll make a run at the division title!'

Forget the fact that he's in his mid-thirties, and he's been pitching with a torn rotator cuff, and already had an injury history, and closers have short careers, and the fact that it's delusional to think we're going to be in contention ... the Mariners invariably sign him for six million bucks.

Most of this ridiculous city then celebrates, cause they loooooove Eddie. I groan and wonder why we didn't trade him last July.

Then the 2006 season begins ... and the guy blows! Who would've guessed? Several months later, he gets traded for a complete NOTHING of a prospect (a 4.5 ERA in AA? I'm drooling).

'Well, maybe you were right about Guardado, but you weren't right about this team! This team IS in contention!'

Really? The Royals just won 11 of their last 16. Every MLB team has a good month or two in a season. This team won't win the division. And even if they do win the division, they don't have anything resembling the kind of starting pitching needed to win a title (let alone a single playoff series). And for the coming years, they don't have any pitching prospects ... and even if they did have any, they wouldn't develop properly.

But, you know what? This team is good enough, and this division sucks enough that the Mariners COULD POSSIBLY win the division if they make a couple of trades and deal away prospects for a productive left-handed bat and a #2-quality starter.

... No, wait, I forgot for a second that the Mariners don't have any balls. They don't deal away prospects, and they don't trade for good players. They trade AWAY good players and acqure prospects that never develop because they can't grow or scout talent.

June was a big tease, and you were all fooled. This team blows, this organization blows, and this owner blows.

GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS AND STOP GOING TO SAFECO FIELD!

'Hey! Cool down! I agree that June was a bit of a tease, and this team could improve ... but things can turn around! Look at the Tigers!'

First of all, I'm assuming that the Tigers have better owners than the Mariners. I have no idea who owns or runs the Tigers, but ... let's see, they bought Pudge, Ordonez, and Kenny Rogers; they developed Joel Zumaya; and they reamed the Mariners for Carlos Guillen (shocking). A couple lines of text gives them a better resume than the last five years of Mariners baseball. They turned around because they know what the hell they're doing.

But let's forget about all that for a second. People forget that in 2003, Bob Melvin's first year, the Mariners had the best record in baseball for a decent stretch, perhaps even a month, which is as long as the Tiger's have been possessing the same thing. What happened next? The Mariners missed the playoffs, and then proceeded to become the first team in the history of the game to win 90 two years in a row, and then lose 90 games the next two years in a row.

I don't think that this will happen to the Tigers, I'm just saying that there are 162 games in a baseball season, and we're far too reactive. Let's be a little more zen-like.

Ben Wallace's Divorce

The Pistons are done. I recently composed a list which had the Pistons on par with the Mavericks in terms of championship contention in 2007. Forget that! The Bulls have instantaneously leap-frogged them. The Pistons are now about on par with the Clippers ... or maybe the Pacers would be a more accurate comparison, since I have no idea what either of them will be like next year. By the way, if Tyson Chandler can get his act together, that's one HELL of an interior defense. If they did something like packaging Ben Gordon and Luol Deng for Ron Artest (not saying it's even possible, just throwing some spaghetti at the wall), shoring up their perimeter defense, the Bulls would be terrifying.

The All-Star Game

If I cared about baseball, I'd be incredibly pissed off about the All-Star rosters. I hate the fans. I'm almost legitimately surprised that Grant Hill didn't get voted in. Though, they didn't vote in Bonds, that's the only thing I really care about.

I Love These Guys Running the Tour de France ...

They banned the top four dudes just because they were under su####ion for doping? AWESOME! I am, like, SO totally jealous! Can these guys pull off a hostile takeover of the MLB? There's got to be more evidence condemning Bonds than those four bikers combined, right? Get your #### in gear, Selig! Those frogs are showing you up!

Though I just wrote a blog about the unraveling of the Pistons (before it became fashionable, by the way), that's not what I'm going to gloat about. I'm going to gloat about my defense of the Heat after their series last year, after which everyone treated Detroit like the second best team in the NBA even though they barely beat a team whose two stars were hobbled (if playing at all).

This is mainly in response to the pervasive opinion that Detroit is a fantastically worse team than last year ... uh, if Shaq and Wade had been healthy last year, would the outcomes of the two series (assuming that the Heat pull it out in 6, as I officially predict them to do) have been any diffferent?

It's all about perception. Three points:

They had an excellent regular season. As a former Mariners fan I can tell you that regular seasons don't matter very much (*cough* 116 wins).

Detroit wasn't that good in the first place, for reasons I've mentioned several times before.

The players are acting up, which makes the situation visibly dysfunctional. They're acting up because they, like everyone else, had unrealistically trumped up expectations for themselves, and they're placing the blame on their new coach (couldn't POSSIBLY be them! They're World Champions!).

Everyone shut up! In any year, with any coach, Detroit is supposed to lose to the Heat. Miami has two superstars, Detroit has zero. The NBA is about stars, all Detroit has is five very good starters. That's good enough to work through the terrible East and get lucky against a weird West team (the Lakers), but nothing more.

Everyone shut up about Riley and Van Gundy, too. Van Gundy did the same damn thing Riley's doing. But, again I have to mention the injuries they suffered last year.

Two years in a row I've predicted that either the Spurs or the Heat would win the title, looks like I'm going to be right two years in a row.

There's a semi-popular refrain that's starting to pervade the ranks of fans of sucky teams throughout the NBA and the NFL: if your team sucks, root for it to suck *even more* so that they can reap the benefits of an even higher draft pick and land Greg Oden or Brady Quinn. Maybe they'll pull a 'San Antonio' and land the guy who'll lead them to three championships. I'm all for this. But there's another level to this dynamic.

In baseball the draft isn't nearly as prolific, only the truly pathetic fans actually care about it. Those who did care about it at one point have already stopped caring because the no. 2 pick they thought was a lock never got past the rookie league, while a 982nd round pick is in the All Star Game. Or, there's the case of the two Devil Rays fans who got excited about the drafting of Delmon Young and were beaten to death.

So what recourse do I, as a disgruntled Mariners fan, have? For starters, I stopped being a freakin' Mariners fan!

Three years ago, in the middle of Bob Melvin's first ineffectual year, when they were actually winning (they had the best record in the league for a while, as amazing as that may seem), I rescinded my status as a Mariners fan because the front office refused to deal away prospects for any players who might have actually propelled us deep into the playoffs (or *into* the playoffs, as they tanked the second half of the season, right after I left them). This had become a common non-occurrence. Why? Because the Mariners organization is afflicted by the following problems:
- They haven't properly developed a prospect since Edgar Martinez ... 20 years ago. No, I'm not exaggerating (Griffey and Rodriguez were unanimous no. 1 picks and don't count).
- They refuse to made deadline trades, even though they always have obvious holes to fill, and the money to pay the players who'd fill those holes, and none of their prospects turn out to be anything anyways.
- Their owner is about as con####uous as Ernst Stavro Blofeld pre-Pleasance. But without the speaking.
- Their front office has literally admitted, on several occasions, to caring more about making money than winning.
- They're one of the most profitable teams in the league, but only have an above-average payroll, which produces one of the worst money-per-win ratios in the league.
- They built a ballpark that no one likes to play in.
- I can't list all of their bad transactions, but it should suffice to say that they thought Miguel Tejada (who *wanted* to come here) was too expensive, and then proceeded to pay that same amount of money to *both* Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre the next year.

I stopped going to games, I stopped watching games, I even stopped reading about them in the newspaper. And I encourage everyone else in the country to do the same if you've got a bad organization running your team (do I need to mention the Knicks? No? Good).

How else are the Mariners going to change? If we Seattlites keep sending 35,000 fans (though that number's fallen, thankfullly) to Safeco every night, what possible motivation is there for Miyamoto and Lincoln and Armstrong and all of the other apathetic cretins behind-the-scenes to change things?

The AA world has a term for you fans who keep filling the seats at Safeco and Madison Square Garden: you're 'enablers'. You've got to let them hit the bottom, that's the only way they'll ever change.

Unless you don't care about winning. If that's the case, please continue to take your stupid family to Safeco Field to watch the dancing ground-crew and watch the hydroplane races. Go to hell.