"I'm #### sick of it. Before this ####-mess o####ame Chuck Armstrong came into my office and #### yelled at me and the other #### coaches for being 21-39. #### you! Who do you think you are you mother-#### piece of corporate ####!?!?!

YOU'RE the #### genius who re-signed Bill 'Nepotism' Bavasi! YOU'RE the #### wizard who ignored the #### egg I layed after Mike 'the #### Traitor' Hargrove #### and ran! YOU'RE the mother-#### lazy-#### #### with no imagination who doesn't realize that our #### scouts aren't qualified to read a radar gun, and our #### farm system couldn't develop a #### hen-house!

We #### have the 9th-highest #### payroll in baseball. Tampa Bay and Florida aren't #### paying half of that, combined, and they're both 10-####-times better than this ####-poor excuse of a lazy, leaderless, ####-licking team. My roster is full of whiny ####es who like nothing better than bending over and spreading their #### cheeks with a hand held out for their big #### payday, and we give it to them cause we don't #### know the difference between Carlos Guillen and a crack-####'s crab-infested sloppy ####-crusted ####.

Hey! Bavasi! Yes, you, ya bony ####! Thanks for the mother-#### starting pitchers! You tied up 1/3 of our payroll in 3 aging impotent ####ks who you knew would be in the bottom 3 slots, and they're STILL #### underachieving; AND you gave away too #### much for an overrated lefty loner with no history of winning; AND the only guy who isn't getting a #### bloated paycheck worships mother-#### Freddy Garcia! DID YOU HEAR ME?!?! THE LYNCHPIN OF THIS #### ORGANIZATION PRAYS AT THE FEET OF BASEBALL'S FAT PARIS HILTON IMPERSONATOR! Are you #### SURPRISED that F-Her is about as consistent as a meteorologist!?!?

Oh, and thanks for 3 more #### years of Kenji Johjima. Our #### worthless pitchers HATE him enough to risk being labelled racists so they can #### about him to our Japan-loving press, but #### that, let's re-sign him RIGHT BEFORE HE LOSES HIS BATSPEED AND BECOMES COMPLETELY WORTHLESS! #### Jeff Clement!

And thanks for Sexson, Beltre, Aurilia, O'Flaherty, Ramirez, Weaver, Reed, Guillen, Ichiro's #### attitude, Cairo, Vidro, Wilkerson, Davis, Cameron ... #### it, is there a #### point to listing all of our #### horrible decisions? Does it #### matter anymore? This #### organization literally has more #### ####-ups than players who are actually EARNING THEIR #### SALARY!

Oh, wait, I apologize Mr. #### Yamauchi, you're still making a #### profit off of these #### dumb-#### Seattle tools, aren't you, so you don't give a #### I'm sorry, I forgot that you have no #### reason to actually put people in place who know anything about baseball. Since you won't fly over the #### Pacific to whip out your greedy ####, I'll just PRETEND you're here by sticking a #### bat up by ####!"