This was the perfect week for the Mariners. They capped a 12-game losing streak, revealed to the world that half the team hates Ichiro so much they want to beat him up, became the first team in history to lose 100 games with a $100 million payroll, and capped it off by announcing that the people responsible are coming back for another year. Awesome.
I've said this before to all of you Seattle fans who continue to support the Mariners with your money, but I'm going to say it again, in much plainer language:
If you go to Safeco Field, you don't understand baseball, you don't care about your team, you're wasting your money, you have no brain, you have no spine, you have no testicles, you worship Satan, you smell bad, you aren't human, you frighten babies, you're dumber than Sarah Palin, you think you're cool because you shop at H&M, you are responsible for the Sonics leaving, you litter, you make love to rotting corpses, you wear diapers, you hate puppies, and you think everyone likes you but they don't because you're dumb enough to continue to give money to the worst organization in the history of professional sports and you're offensive in every way a human being can possibly be.
I hate you.
I hate you for taking my team away from me.
I hate you for voting with your money, telling Yamauchi: "Yes! I don't care how badly this team is mismanaged! Here's some cash! I want to sit in your stadium and watch a terrible team play terrible baseball! I understand nothing!"
Five years ago I abandoned this team for their apathetic style of personnel management. It drove Piniella away, and it drove me away. It made *me* apathetic.
I had hoped that other people would realize this, and there would be a regime change, and I'd be able to re-embrace my formerly-beloved Mariners. That hasn't happened. Things have gotten worse. My apathy has transformed into pure, abject hatred. I hate this team, I hate Armstrong, I hate Lincoln, I hate Ichiro, I hate Bedard, I hate Yamauchi, and I hate every single stupid #### who sits in those stands for 81 games every year.
I dumped the Mariners a long time ago, I've now dumped baseball because its records are now held by blatant cheaters and everyone's okay with it, and I'm now being forced to dump the Sonics. It's down to the Seahawks and the Huskies ... and maybe the Trailblazers. It's depressing. All of that lost Sports-Energy is now being diverted into hating Michael Vick, Notre Dame, and anyone else who is overrated and/or criminal (I'm looking right at you, Jimmy Clausen).
