Part II

Offensive MVP and LVP Fantasy Style

Milwaukee Brewers

MVP: Gabe Kapler .291 .310 .582 .892 4-13-12-32 2-10-1

Runner-Up: Mike Cameron .269 .367 .654 1.021 3-7-6-17 4-8-0

Comments: I am using the two as a group. This has been a bright spot for the Brewers to start the season. Together they remind me of John Lowenstein/Gary Roenicke without the 25-game suspension and the fact one of the Brewers is not a left-handed hitter… other than that… I am cool.

LVP: Ryan Braun .268 .304 .465 .768 5-23-13-59 7-28-1

Bottom-Up: Prince Fielder .257 .372 .431 .803 4-20-16-47 19-18-0

Comments: both players do not belong on this list but given where they went in drafts… Their numbers do not add up to their production.

Minnesota Twins

MVP: Justin Morneau .284 .358 .495 .853 6-25-14-54 12-17-0

Runner-Up: Carlos Gomez .271 .297 .374 .671 1-8-17-40 3-26-13

Comments: If Morneau played somewhere other than, a state recognized for lakes they have (I am on record here to say that Minnesota does not have 10,000 lakes. Maybe they more or less… but not 10,000 exactly) he would be an All-Star regularly.

LVP: Delmon Young .263 .306 .307 .613 0-9-15-35 7-21-6

Bottom-Up: Jason Kubel .245 .264 .396 .660 4-17-11-42 3-22-0

Comments: Both players came into this season as great sleepers in AL-only leagues… yet both have been big disappointments for Fantasy owners but Minnesota is a top their division as I write tonight. Go figure.

New York Yankees

MVP: Johnny Damon .295 .394 .527 .921 4-14-25-59 19-20-5

Runner-Up: Bobby Abreu .306 .363 .452 .815 4-21-15-56 11-24-2

Comments: Damon is quietly putting up good Fantasy numbers, while Abreu is the glue right now that is holding the lineup together.

LVP: Robinson Cano .154 .214 .256 .471 3-8-7-30 8-15-0

Bottom-Up: Derek Jeter .313 .339 .393 .732 0-16-15-44 3-8-0

Comments: Cano signed a huge deal and is pulling a Carl Pavano right now while Jeter has yet to go deep or steal a base.

New York Mets

MVP: David Wright .284 .406 .569 .975 6-26-17-62 23-18-4

Runner-Up: Ryan Church .318 .382 .491 .873 4-22-23-54 11-24-1

Comments: Wright is a beast at third; you did not need me to tell you that. Church has been solid all year.

LVP: Carlos Delgado .213 .306 .361 .668 4-16-16-39 14-21-0

Bottom-Up: Luis Castillo .239 .343 .261 .605 0-4-11-23 4-7-6

Comments: It is time for Delgado to Delgottogo.

Oakland Athletics

MVP: Emil Brown .271 .296 .398 .694 3-26-19-47 4-11-1

Runner-Up: Bobby Crosby .268 .336 .402 .737

Comments: What can Brown do for you? Lead the AL in RBI.

LVP: Travis Buck .154 .197 .277 .474 0-6-5-18 2-20-0

Bottom-Up: Mark Ellis .237 .322 .359 .681 2-11-5-47 17-15-3

Comments: What does Travis Buck and I have in common? We both suck at hitting the curve ball… However, he gets paid to hit.

Philadelphia Phillies

MVP: Chase Utley .357 .432 .762 1.193 13-26-28-96 13-20-3

Runner-Up: Pat Burrell .330 .459 .687 1.147 9-30-20-73 26-24-0

Comments: Without Chipper Jones in the NL, Utley is the MVP. How do you not like Utley? Pat’s bat is hotter than Fergie in a bikini. Check her out in the May 5th edition of In Touch Weekly.

LVP: Ryan Howard .167 .294 .351 .645 6-14-16-40 21-45-0

Bottom-Up: Shane Victorino .231 .296 .292 .588 0-2-7-19 6-8-2

Comments: Howard is hitting something around .400 when he actually hits a ball.

Pittsburgh Pirates

MVP: Nate McClouth .323 .411 .606 1.017 7-25-28-77 17-16-3

Runner-Up: Xavier Nady .347 .406 .542 .948 4-30-19-64 10-21-1

Comments: McClouth is by far the biggest surprise in Fantasy this season on the offensive side. Reminds me of Eric Brynes… but better!

LVP: Adam LaRoche .202 .275 .303 .578 2-8-7-30 10-32-0

Bottom-Up: Freddy Sanchez .222 .250 .282 .532 1-11-10-33 4-14-0

Comments: I have officially given up on LaRoche. Pittsburgh fans know what I mean.

San Diego Padres

MVP: Adrian Gonzalez .302 .355 .556 .911 8-23-19-70 10-27-0

Runner-Up: See Above

Comments: In a big home ballpark, Gonzalez is putting up some nice numbers. I have him in a league that I cannot even trade him in because my knuckle-headed friends would rather hold onto David Ortiz or Carlos Pena.

LVP: Khalil Greene .220 .273 .305 .578 1-11-6-36 8-24-0

Bottom-Up: Jim Edmonds .181 .266 .241 .507 1-6-6-20 9-23-2

Comments: Greene has been disappointing so far and Edmonds has been pointless so far.

San Francisco Giants

MVP: Aaron Rowand .337 .383 .531 .914 3-15-12-52 7-26-0

Runner-Up: Bengie Molina .296 .324 .480 .803 4-19-9-47 4-5-0

Comments: It is nice to have a catcher like Molina on your team… just make sure it is the right Molina brother.

LVP: Ray Durham .253 .330 .367 .697 1-7-9-29 8-15-4

Bottom-Up: John Bowker .250 .268 .426 .694 3-9-4-29 2-16-0

Comments: I was going to put Barry ****s on the list but his head did not fit on the page.

Seattle Mariners

MVP: Ichiro Suzuki .279 .329 .375 .704 2-9-21-51 10-10-12

Runner-Up: Raul Ibanez .302 .345 .484 .829 5-21-17-61 10-18-0

Comments: If April showers bring May flowers, what does Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims. NO! It brings more Ichiro hits.

LVP: Jose Vidro .192 .248 .298 .546 2-18-12-31 8-14-1

Bottom-Up: Kenji Johjima .184 .245 .218 .463 0-5-4-19 6-5-0

Comments: I am very frustrated with the play of Johjima. The image of Jeff Clement in his rear-view mirror is closer than he thinks.

St. Louis Cardinals

MVP: Albert Pujois .358 .518 .604 1.122 6-23-18-64 33-9-2

Runner-Up: Ryan Ludwick .308 .386 .615 1.002 4-15-16-48 10-24-1

Comments: What elbow problem? Shoot, I hope I did not jinx him.

LVP: Troy Glaus .232 .318 .366 .684 1-21-9-41 15-25-0

Bottom-Up: Chris Duncan .271 .402 .400 .802 2-6-12-28 16-16-1

Comments: Glaus vs. Rolen… advantage M.D.’s

Tampa Bay Rays

MVP: Eric Hinske .279 .392 .581 .974 6-15-14-50 16-14-2

Runner-Up: B J Upton .286 .379 .429 .808 3-21-18-45 17-26-4

Comments: If you drafted Hinske in your AL-only league, good job. If you drafted Hinske in your mixed league, you are a liar.

LVP: Evan Longoria .239 .345 .437 .782 3-11-10-31 11-19-2

Bottom-Up: Carlos Pena .215 .323 .421 .743 7-17-15-45 13-35-0

Comments: Longoria will eventually hit. I think he is over-matched at times and looks like he has no plan at the plate. He has had some great at-bats (see Roy Holladay) but they are few and far in-between.

Texas Rangers

MVP: Josh Hamilton .300 .347 .531 .878 6-33-16-69 11-19-0

Runner-Up: Milton Bradley .320 .412 .495 .907 3-12-13-48 16-13-0

Comments: Talk about getting a second chance in life and taking advantage of it… Hamilton and Bradley both have been solid in the middle of that lineup.

LVP: Hank Blalock .299 .365 .460 .824 3-7-9-40 8-9-0

Bottom-Up: Ben Broussard .159 .225 .268 .493 3-8-8-22 5-20-0

Comments: Maybe it is unfair for me to put Blalock on this list, but coming into this season, he insisted he was healthy and proved once again that we should never trust a player’s opinion of himself unless we are in the company of Rickey Henderson.

Toronto Blue Jays

MVP: Alex Rios .310 .379 .474 .853 3-15-20-55 14-25-8

Runner-Up: Vernon Wells .273 .341 .405 .746 4-22-17-49 12-15-1

Comments: I just traded for Wells. What do you think of this trade; Wells and Giambi for Cust and Jenks?

LVP: Frank Thomas .167 .306 .333 .639 3-11-7-20 11-13-0

Bottom-Up: Aaron Hill .264 .323 .388 .712 2-13-11-47 9-16-2

Comments: Why would you want “The Big Attitude” on your team?

Washington Nationals

MVP: Christian Guzman .309 .331 .463 .794 3-14-20-63 5-12-0

Runner-Up: Felipe Lopez .281 .349 .344 .693 1-12-12-33 10-14-4

Comments: I have nothing for this team. New ballpark, same crowds.

LVP: Ryan Zimmerman .217 .252 .333 .585 3-14-12-43 6-23-0

Bottom-Up: Austin Kearns .212 .331 .292 .623 2-12-12-33 16-19-1

Comments: If Zimmerman is the face of the franchise, I am calling Joan Rivers for a referral.

Nationals… last in your program and last in my blog.