Part II

 

Offensive MVP and LVP Fantasy Style

 

Milwaukee Brewers

 

 

MVP: Gabe Kapler .291 .310 .582 .892 4-13-12-32 2-10-1

Runner-Up: Mike Cameron .269 .367 .654 1.021 3-7-6-17 4-8-0

Comments: I am using the two as a group. This has been a bright spot for the Brewers to start the season. Together they remind me of John Lowenstein/Gary Roenicke without the 25-game suspension and the fact one of the Brewers is not a left-handed hitter… other than that… I am cool.

 

LVP: Ryan Braun .268 .304 .465 .768 5-23-13-59 7-28-1

Bottom-Up: Prince Fielder .257 .372 .431 .803 4-20-16-47 19-18-0

Comments: both players do not belong on this list but given where they went in drafts… Their numbers do not add up to their production.

 

Minnesota Twins

 

 

MVP: Justin Morneau .284 .358 .495 .853 6-25-14-54 12-17-0

Runner-Up: Carlos Gomez .271 .297 .374 .671 1-8-17-40 3-26-13

Comments: If Morneau played somewhere other than, a state recognized for lakes they have (I am on record here to say that Minnesota does not have 10,000 lakes. Maybe they more or less… but not 10,000 exactly) he would be an All-Star regularly.

 

LVP: Delmon Young .263 .306 .307 .613 0-9-15-35 7-21-6

Bottom-Up: Jason Kubel .245 .264 .396 .660 4-17-11-42 3-22-0

Comments: Both players came into this season as great sleepers in AL-only leagues… yet both have been big disappointments for Fantasy owners but Minnesota is a top their division as I write tonight. Go figure.

 

New York Yankees

 

 

MVP: Johnny Damon .295 .394 .527 .921 4-14-25-59 19-20-5

Runner-Up: Bobby Abreu .306 .363 .452 .815 4-21-15-56 11-24-2

Comments: Damon is quietly putting up good Fantasy numbers, while Abreu is the glue right now that is holding the lineup together.

 

LVP: Robinson Cano .154 .214 .256 .471 3-8-7-30 8-15-0

Bottom-Up: Derek Jeter .313 .339 .393 .732 0-16-15-44 3-8-0

Comments: Cano signed a huge deal and is pulling a Carl Pavano right now while Jeter has yet to go deep or steal a base.

 

New York Mets

 

 

MVP: David Wright .284 .406 .569 .975 6-26-17-62 23-18-4

Runner-Up: Ryan Church .318 .382 .491 .873 4-22-23-54 11-24-1

Comments: Wright is a beast at third; you did not need me to tell you that. Church has been solid all year.

 

LVP: Carlos Delgado .213 .306 .361 .668 4-16-16-39 14-21-0

Bottom-Up: Luis Castillo .239 .343 .261 .605 0-4-11-23 4-7-6

Comments: It is time for Delgado to Delgottogo.

 

Oakland Athletics

 

 

MVP: Emil Brown .271 .296 .398 .694 3-26-19-47 4-11-1

Runner-Up: Bobby Crosby .268 .336 .402 .737

Comments: What can Brown do for you? Lead the AL in RBI.

 

LVP: Travis Buck .154 .197 .277 .474 0-6-5-18 2-20-0

Bottom-Up: Mark Ellis .237 .322 .359 .681 2-11-5-47 17-15-3

Comments: What does Travis Buck and I have in common? We both suck at hitting the curve ball… However, he gets paid to hit.

 

Philadelphia Phillies

 

 

MVP: Chase Utley .357 .432 .762 1.193 13-26-28-96 13-20-3

Runner-Up: Pat Burrell .330 .459 .687 1.147 9-30-20-73 26-24-0

Comments: Without Chipper Jones in the NL, Utley is the MVP. How do you not like Utley? Pat’s bat is hotter than Fergie in a bikini. Check her out in the May 5th edition of In Touch Weekly.

 

LVP: Ryan Howard .167 .294 .351 .645 6-14-16-40 21-45-0

Bottom-Up: Shane Victorino .231 .296 .292 .588 0-2-7-19 6-8-2

Comments: Howard is hitting something around .400 when he actually hits a ball.

 

Pittsburgh Pirates

 

 

MVP: Nate McClouth .323 .411 .606 1.017 7-25-28-77 17-16-3

Runner-Up: Xavier Nady .347 .406 .542 .948 4-30-19-64 10-21-1

Comments: McClouth is by far the biggest surprise in Fantasy this season on the offensive side. Reminds me of Eric Brynes… but better!

 

LVP: Adam LaRoche .202 .275 .303 .578 2-8-7-30 10-32-0

Bottom-Up: Freddy Sanchez .222 .250 .282 .532 1-11-10-33 4-14-0

Comments: I have officially given up on LaRoche. Pittsburgh fans know what I mean.

 

San Diego Padres

 

 

MVP: Adrian Gonzalez .302 .355 .556 .911 8-23-19-70 10-27-0

Runner-Up: See Above

 

Comments: In a big home ballpark, Gonzalez is putting up some nice numbers. I have him in a league that I cannot even trade him in because my knuckle-headed friends would rather hold onto David Ortiz or Carlos Pena.

 

LVP: Khalil Greene .220 .273 .305 .578 1-11-6-36 8-24-0

Bottom-Up: Jim Edmonds .181 .266 .241 .507 1-6-6-20 9-23-2

Comments: Greene has been disappointing so far and Edmonds has been pointless so far.

 

San Francisco Giants

 

 

MVP: Aaron Rowand .337 .383 .531 .914 3-15-12-52 7-26-0

Runner-Up: Bengie Molina .296 .324 .480 .803 4-19-9-47 4-5-0

Comments: It is nice to have a catcher like Molina on your team… just make sure it is the right Molina brother.

 

LVP: Ray Durham .253 .330 .367 .697 1-7-9-29 8-15-4

Bottom-Up: John Bowker .250 .268 .426 .694 3-9-4-29 2-16-0

Comments: I was going to put Barry ****s on the list but his head did not fit on the page.

 

Seattle Mariners

 

 

MVP: Ichiro Suzuki .279 .329 .375 .704 2-9-21-51 10-10-12

Runner-Up: Raul Ibanez .302 .345 .484 .829 5-21-17-61 10-18-0

Comments: If April showers bring May flowers, what does Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims. NO! It brings more Ichiro hits.

 

LVP: Jose Vidro .192 .248 .298 .546 2-18-12-31 8-14-1

Bottom-Up: Kenji Johjima .184 .245 .218 .463 0-5-4-19 6-5-0

Comments: I am very frustrated with the play of Johjima. The image of Jeff Clement in his rear-view mirror is closer than he thinks.

 

St. Louis Cardinals

 

 

MVP: Albert Pujois .358 .518 .604 1.122 6-23-18-64 33-9-2

Runner-Up: Ryan Ludwick .308 .386 .615 1.002 4-15-16-48 10-24-1

Comments: What elbow problem? Shoot, I hope I did not jinx him.

 

LVP: Troy Glaus .232 .318 .366 .684 1-21-9-41 15-25-0

Bottom-Up: Chris Duncan .271 .402 .400 .802 2-6-12-28 16-16-1

Comments: Glaus vs. Rolen… advantage M.D.’s

 

Tampa Bay Rays

 

 

MVP: Eric Hinske .279 .392 .581 .974 6-15-14-50 16-14-2

Runner-Up: B J Upton .286 .379 .429 .808 3-21-18-45 17-26-4

Comments: If you drafted Hinske in your AL-only league, good job. If you drafted Hinske in your mixed league, you are a liar.

 

LVP: Evan Longoria .239 .345 .437 .782 3-11-10-31 11-19-2

Bottom-Up: Carlos Pena .215 .323 .421 .743 7-17-15-45 13-35-0

Comments: Longoria will eventually hit. I think he is over-matched at times and looks like he has no plan at the plate. He has had some great at-bats (see Roy Holladay) but they are few and far in-between.

 

Texas Rangers

 

 

MVP: Josh Hamilton .300 .347 .531 .878 6-33-16-69 11-19-0

Runner-Up: Milton Bradley .320 .412 .495 .907 3-12-13-48 16-13-0

Comments: Talk about getting a second chance in life and taking advantage of it… Hamilton and Bradley both have been solid in the middle of that lineup.

 

LVP: Hank Blalock .299 .365 .460 .824 3-7-9-40 8-9-0

Bottom-Up: Ben Broussard .159 .225 .268 .493 3-8-8-22 5-20-0

Comments: Maybe it is unfair for me to put Blalock on this list, but coming into this season, he insisted he was healthy and proved once again that we should never trust a player’s opinion of himself unless we are in the company of Rickey Henderson.

 

Toronto Blue Jays

 

 

MVP: Alex Rios .310 .379 .474 .853 3-15-20-55 14-25-8

Runner-Up: Vernon Wells .273 .341 .405 .746 4-22-17-49 12-15-1

Comments: I just traded for Wells. What do you think of this trade; Wells and Giambi for Cust and Jenks?

 

LVP: Frank Thomas .167 .306 .333 .639 3-11-7-20 11-13-0

Bottom-Up: Aaron Hill .264 .323 .388 .712 2-13-11-47 9-16-2

Comments: Why would you want “The Big Attitude” on your team?

 

Washington Nationals

 

 

MVP: Christian Guzman .309 .331 .463 .794 3-14-20-63 5-12-0

Runner-Up: Felipe Lopez .281 .349 .344 .693 1-12-12-33 10-14-4

Comments: I have nothing for this team. New ballpark, same crowds.

 

LVP: Ryan Zimmerman .217 .252 .333 .585 3-14-12-43 6-23-0

Bottom-Up: Austin Kearns .212 .331 .292 .623 2-12-12-33 16-19-1

Comments: If Zimmerman is the face of the franchise, I am calling Joan Rivers for a referral.

Nationals… last in your program and last in my blog.

 

Dear Mr. Angelos,

I would like for you to read the following and I can only hope I have some support on what I am writing about. You need to know that I have only loved one baseball team in my 37 years on planet Earth, and that team is the BALTIMORE Orioles. I will get back to the caps in BALTIMORE in a minute.

Just in case you do not know, I want to remind you that free agency starts 10 days after the World Series ends ( and the way our divisional foe has been hitting and pitching, it may be only two weeks away). There are a few great guys that will become available once this frenzy starts. I am writing about one gut in particular that I want to see roaming the green grass of centerfield next year. Ladies and gentleman I like to introduce to you the newest member of the BALTIMORE Orioles................. Torii Hunter!!!!!!!!!!

I don't care how much money this man wants, because as long as we keep throwing guys out there that can't keep the ball down, we need a guy that can go and get it like no other. I know Andruw Jones might be available but I don't like his demeanor when it come to playing the game. Torii Hunter gives it his all day in and day out. Ask any Minnesota Twin fan right now and they would cringe at the thought of someone else in their outfield. This man never stops smiling. He would be great for this town as well as our team.

I want to show you what this man has down in the last seven years. Besides averaging 25 home runs and 90 runs batted in plus 16 stolen bases, he bring hardware like no one other than Brooks himself. As Goldmember said " I like ggoooooollllddddd". Six straight seasons and another one on the way. He is only 32 years old and imagine how happy those knees will be to play on grass for a minimum of 115 games. You want a character guy on this team? You want a leader? You want a blue collar worker ( born on July 18, 1975 Pine Bluff, Arkansas)? You want someone for our community? You want Torii Hunter. Bring him to BALTIMORE, and throw all the crab cakes you can at him. I'm buying!!

Now to the BALTIMORE thing. This is driving me nuts Mr. Angelos. Why oh why are you being so stubborn about putting the BALTIMORE back on our road jerseys. Please man, one stinking little favor. This would actually help your legacy in BALTIMORE. Can you see this now.....October 2010........ game 7.... Eric Bedard on the mound.... ready to put the final nail in the Mets coffin at Shea..... pop up to center....... Hunter under it.......BALTIMORE you are the 2010 World Series Champs. Sweet huh? This is not a pipe dream. If Mr. Angelos submits a BALTIMORE road jersey to MLB by next spring, it could make the field in 2010. Imagine how many of us would run out a buy this jersey. Do something right before Cal Ripken buys the team, this way you can be remembered as the man who put BALTIMORE back on the map.