Fantasy geeks... like me might like this stuff.

Part II tomorrow

In the blog I will give you, each MLB teams Fantasy MVP and runner-up along with the teams LVP and bottom-up. I actually did some research on this, so please enjoy.

 

 

Editor’s note; statistics are retro to May 4, 2008 and are courtesy of ESPN. I will use the following sequence of stats for you to follow AVG, OBP, SLG, OPS, HR, RBI, R, TB, BB, K, and SB.

 

 

I will focus solely on offense today and tomorrow. Maybe a pitching column next week?

Here are the first 15 teams in ABC order... I know it sounds like a first-grader but Jackson-Five might be running through your head too... you will hate me later.

 

 

Arizona Diamondbacks

 

 

MVP: Conor Jackson .343 .421 .590 1.102 5-25-27-62 11-10-2

Runner-Up: J. Upton .342 .402 .559 .960 5-16-19-62 13-30-0

Comments: Jackson has been a beast while Upton needs to up the SB total to get his true value.

 

 

LVP: Eric Byrnes .242 .316 .417 .732 3-15-29-50 11-16-3

Bottom-Up: Chris Snyder .243 .375 .414 .789 1-15-17-29 13-21-0

Comments: Snyder’s numbers are not that bad but he came into this season primed to take over the catching duties for this team and with so much offense around him he should be posting better numbers. Byrnes is just off to a slow start.

 

 

Atlanta Braves

 

 

MVP: Chipper Jones .425 .472 .717 1.189 9-27-22-81 12-10-0

Runner-Up: Brian McCann .291 .358 .555 .912 6-17-17-61 12-9-0

Comments: Jones is MVP of the NL at this point. Who in their right mind would not take McCann’s numbers at the 2 position?

 

 

LVP: Mark Teixeira .267 .348 .442 .790 4-18-17-53 14-18-0

Bottom-Up: Jeff Francour .276 .311 .455 .766 3-20-16-56 6-12-0

Comments: Isn’t great to know that some jerk like me thinks the Braves worst two fantasy players are Tex and Francour?

 

 

Baltimore Orioles

 

 

MVP: Nick Markakis .273 .403 .473 .876 6-14-19-52 23-27-6

Runner-Up: Aubrey Huff .277 .352 .482 .834 5-19-18-54 13-22-2

Comments: Markakis is only going to get better. Huff is better served in AL only leagues.

 

 

LVP: Ramon Hernandez .198 .232 .374 .606 3-15-7-34 5-10-0

Bottom-Up: Kevin Millar .214 .285 .342 .626 4-14-16-40 11-19-0

Comments: I had the pick of the litter when it came to the offense of the Orioles. Remember this name… Matt Wieters… coming to a stadium near you!!

 

 

Boston Red Sox

 

 

MVP: Jacob Ellsbury .291 .415 .442 .857 3-12-25-38 17-9-11

Runner-Up: Manny Ramirez .317 .397 .567 .964 6-23-20-68 15-35-1

Comments: Ellsbury is my choice because he brings more to the table than I anticipated at the beginning of the season. He has been lights-out since day 1.

 

 

LVP: David Ortiz .216 .316 .379 .695 5-24-19-44 16-20-0

Bottom-Up: Jason Varitek .267 .315 .453 .769 3-11-7-39 4-22-0

Comments: If you want to throw-up in your own mouth check out Big Papi’s splits on home vs. road. To see V-Tek play this way is sad because I feel he was a true general on the field and a clutch player. Does Boston have another catcher ready in the minors?

 

 

Chicago White Sox

 

 

MVP: Carlos Quentin .283 .421 .609 1.030 8-22-22-56 15-17-2

Runner-Up: Joe Crede .248 .313 .585 .817 7-22-12-51 9-14-0

Comments: Quentin has been a pleasant surprise for Fantasy owners, while Crede might not have the batting average you want, he has hit big in the clutch (2 grand slams).

 

 

LVP: Nick Swisher .210 .354 .324 .678 3-8-20-34 23-29-1

Bottom-Up: Orlando Cabrera .220 .298 .271 .569 1-5-17-32 12-14-5

Comments: Did any one else expect bigger things from Swisher? Swisher so far is a big bust! Cabrera has a pass for the same cruise Swisher is on … The S. S. Minnow.

 

 

Chicago Cubs

 

 

MVP: Geovany Soto .333 .430 .618 1.047 5-23-15-63 18-26-0

Runner-Up: Derrick Lee .339 .418 .614 1.032 8-23-28-78 18-17-2

Comments: Lee is a MVP but when you get this type of production from your 2 position… he is my MVP.

 

 

LVP: Alfonzo Soriano .173 .222 .320 .542 3-10-9-24 5-16-3

Bottom Up: See Above

 

Comments: Sorry but the guy below has better numbers… see Paul Bako

 

 

Cincinnati Reds

 

 

MVP: Paul Bako .312 .384 .532 .916 3-11-10-41 9-18-0

Runner-Up: Edwin Encarnacion .275 373 .532 .906 7-15-16-50 17-17-1

Comments: The improvement in Encarnacion is worth noting… 17 BB and 17 K!!!

 

 

LVP: Adam Dunn .221 .375 .389 .764 4-13-15-37 24-24-1

Bottom-Up: Brandon Phillips .279 .321 .492 .812 5-15-17-60 8-25-5

Comments: See Atlanta Braves

 

 

Cleveland Indians

 

 

MVP: Grady Sizemore .277 .393 .446 .839 4-15-17-50 18-23-7

Runner-Up: Victor Martinez .347 .380 .411 .791 0-10-7-39 4-8-0

Comments: Sizemore is a stud… no question. Martinez… see below

 

 

LVP: Travis Hafner .209 .305 .345 .650 3-17-12-38 14-30-0

Bottom-Up: Victor Martinez (see above)

Comments: Hafner is killing Fantasy owners while V-Mart makes both list because he has yet to go deep while leading the AL in hitting.

 

 

Colorado Rockies

 

 

MVP: Matt Holliday .306.396 .521 .916 5-19-20-63 17-22-5

Runner-Up: Garrett Atkins .315 .341 .515 .856 6-22-17-67 5-21-0

Comments: Everyday in Colorado is a Holliday

 

 

LVP: Troy Tulowitzki .152 .226 .238 .464 1-11-10-25 9-17-1

Bottom-Up: Brad Hawpe .260 .398 .400 .798 2-12-12-40 22-23-0

Comments: It does not look good for Colorado. The pitching has sucked as well…

 

 

Detroit Tigers

 

 

MVP: Magglio Ordonez .311 .390 .529 .919 6-23-20-63 16-17-0

Runner-Up: Curtis Granderson .317 .440 .805 1.245 5-8-13-33 9-6-1

Comments: In my opinion, Curtis Granderson is the closest thing to Rickey Henderson without the third person reference.

 

 

LVP: Gary Sheffield .185 .340 .309 .649 2-5-10-25 17-18-3

Bottom-Up: P. Polanco .250 .345 .375 .720 2-9-14-36 12-7-1

Comments: Go get Polanco now. He is hitting again. Career .300 hitter!

 

 

Florida Marlins

 

 

MVP: Hanley Ramriez .317 .394 .563 .958 8-19-25-71 12-25-10

Runner-Up: Josh Willingham .341 .406 .637 1.043 6-16-16-58 9-16-2

Comments: Ramriez is the best Fantasy player in the NL… easily! Willingham flies so far under the radar. I would take Willingham over Francour any day.

 

 

LVP: Cody Ross .164 .186 .273 .459 1-5-2-15 2-8-1

Bottom-Up: Luis Gonzalez .226 .324 .403 .727 3-5-5-25 9-13-1

Comments: I feel I need to apologize to the Cody Ross family for printing his stats. NOT!

 

 

Houston Astros

 

 

MVP: Lance Berkman .325 .406 .702 1.108 10-31-30-80 17-15-4

Runner-Up: Miguel Tejada .349 .385 .579 .965 5-25-24-73 7-15-2

Comments: Berkman is making a case for MVP of the NL, while Tejada is making us forget his age again.

 

 

LVP: J.R. Towles .176 .309 .97 .706 4-10-7-27 8-14-0

Bottom-Up: Hunter Pence .254 .283 .439 .722 4-16-15-50 5-27-1

Comments: Nothing against Towles but he did get a lot of hype prior to drafts this season. I predict a big May and June for Pence.

 

 

Kansas City Royals

 

 

MVP: Alex Gordon .281 .344 .412 .756 3-12-17-47 11-27-2

Runner-Up: David DeJesus .333 .400 .456 .856 2-13-6-26 7-7-1

Comments: George Brett is not walking through that door, nor is Frank White…

 

 

LVP: Jose Guillen .171 .205 .316 .521 3-15-11-37 5-27-0

Bottom-Up: John Buck .247 .344 .377 .721 2-11-11-29 11-16-0

Comments: I hear Guillen is a Sesame Street fan. He can find it on the HGH channel. The letter B and the number 12 now sponsor him.

 

 

LA Angels

 

 

MVP: Casey Kotchman .330 .385 .554 .939 6-20-16-62 9-7-1

Runner-Up: Torii Hunter .314 .67 .534 .901 5-20-18-63 6-19-3

Comments: Most under-rated player in the AL is Casey Kotchman. He has been a better run producer than VLad.

 

 

LVP: Garrett Anderson .221 .258 328 .586 2-11-14-40 6-21-1

Bottom-Up: Vladimir Guerrero .256 .336 .402 .738 3-14-15-47 13-21-1

Comments: Be afraid… be very afraid

 

 

LA Dodgers

 

 

MVP: Rafael Furcal .369 .453 .585 1.038 4-15-33-76 19-15-8

Runner-Up: Matt Kemp .324 .348 .495 .843 2-22-18-52 5-30-7

Comments: Matt Kemp is one of the brightest stars in the NL right now!

 

 

LVP: Andruw Jones .163 .274 .255 .539 1-4-14-25 15-34 0

Bottom-Up: See Above…

 

Comments: I would like to take this opportunity to apologize on the behalf of Mr. Jones for playing like a softball player waiting to get to the bar to get his free pitcher of Miller Fat Me UP!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last night I sat in front of the television, turned on TBS and waited patiently for my favorite thing to watch on television. Now normally I would say the baseball game, but tonight it was all about the Frank TV commercials. I love them. I really do. I think Peter King of SI and I have man crushes on Frank Caliendo. I loved this guys work on Comedy Central stand up and Mad TV. Have you seen these ads? They are better than the super bowl commercials. I think there are 5 or 6 different ones on last night. I kept a diary of when they showed them last night as well as some running commentary.

Commercial number 1: 8:07 Frank as President Bush. The first one of the night brings us a " Charles in Charge " reference. Nice way to get the night rolling.

Commercial number 2: 8:17 Frank as DeNeiro. Here we have a DeNeiro as tax driver with a baseball bat. Classic and funny. One of the best DeNeiro impressions.

Commercial number 3: 8:18 Frank as Bush, DeNeiro, Pacino, Dr. Phil, Robin Williams and john Madden singing ' take me out to the ballgame.' By far my favorite of all time. Check out the facile features on Frank as he is doing Bush at the end where he is counting strikes. HILARIOUS!

Commercial number 4: 8:27 Frank as Dr. Phil. I like his Dr. Phil but I liked Michael McDonald's better. Still good but not his best.

Commercial number 5: 8:42 Frank as Al Pacino. The over the top version from " Scent of a Woman" except he doesn't have his butt wiping friend Chris O'Donnell with him. Please note when you do an Al Pacino impression it's has to be the over the top version. None other would give justice his due.

Commercial number 6: 9:17 Frank as the gang again. The first repeat commercial tonight. Still if you are going to repeat a commercial please repeat the ones I love. Just in case you don't know TBS has told us 200 times so far that Frank's new series starts November 20, for those scoring at home.

Commercial number 7: 9:38 Frank as Bush. If there is a better Bush impersonator out there please send me his link. I don't think the guy who actually looks like Bush from last years roast can give Frank a good fight. That's how good he is.

Commercial number 8: 9:40 Frank as DeNeiro. Another repeat but worth watching. Show starts November 20.

Commercial number 9: 9:48 This was a promo at the bottom of the screen while that baseball game was playing. Hey anybody know who is playing?

Commercial number 10: 10:15 Frank as Bush yet again but even funnier because I'm starting to get buzzed. Nothing like watching something funny with a little buzz.

Commercial number 11: 10:48 Frank as the gang again. That my friend is a hat trick for my favorite commercial.

Commercial number 12: 11:17 Another freaking promo read by Chip Caray. Hey Caray, if the moon was made of cheese would ya eat it? I would I would I would. That was my best Harry Caray in a blog. Use your imagination.

Commercial number 13: 11:46 another repeat from Dr. Phil. No comment.

Commercial number 14: 11:54 Frank as Madden. The last commercial of the night is the first to have Madden all by himself. BOOM! Has anyone ever did Madden better? I love this man!

Oh yeah I think the team wearing purple won 5-1 last night.

Talk to you all soon.