Well, I just had one of the greatest weekends in my life.
I attended this year's 134th running of the Kentucky Derby, and what a treat it was. The fans and hospitality were great, and the scenery was simply breathtaking. Never in my life have I seen so many beautiful 30 and 40 something year old women dressed to the nines and bombed out of their skulls on Mint Juleps. Three seats down from me was an absolute knockout 42 year old woman who was passed out by the 4th race. When her husband went to get another cocktail and wager on the 5th, she was left on the bleachers to lay down her weary head. Keep in mind it was a VERY windy day in Louisville. Every Tom, ####, and Harry in section 222 could tell you the number of polka dots on her backside by the time Hubby came back from the cocktail bar. (By the way it was 132........or at least that is what my buddy told me. He also indicated that the curtains and the carpet were a match. Whatever the hell that means.)
Anyway, I got to thinking (which probably isn't a good thing since I only have about 4 brain cells left after that 3 day bender). I got to thinking about some oddities that we have in our little world of sports. I'll list some of the oddities, go ahead and add some of your own.
Why is it when I order a Grand Slam at Denny's at 3:00 in the morning it really isn't a good thing. But when my favorite player on my baseball team hits a Grand Slam I'm elated and actually still feel good about it 3 hours after it happens without having to pop 14 Rolaids.
Who ever came up with the shape of a football? Essentially it is a small basketball with two Madonna 'pointies' on each end.
Why is kicking a Madonna basketball between two uprights in football called a Field Goal? Shouldn't it be called an Air Goal?
Why does a Fullback line up in front of a Halfback? Or is the whole Quarterback, Halfback, Fullback thing about a preferential weighting system?
Why do they call it the Bowl Championship Series when each team only plays 1 game? Doesn't the word 'series' indicate that there is more than 1 'round' much less 1 game?
Why does the NBA Playoffs take longer to complete than the gestation period of an elephant?
How do we know that a 'batter' is a threat simply by the way he stands at the plate?
Why is PETA outraged with Horse Racing? Should they not be outraged with Boxing or MMA? Or do #### sapiens rank lower on their scale in the 'animal' world?
Why do all the great QB's lick their 3 predominant fingers on their throwing hand while exiting the huddle and heading towards the line of scrimmage?
If a Center in football has an infatuation with Chicken Wings and Burritos, does it have an impact on his relationship with his Quarterback?
Why is the 40 yard dash considered the 'it' factor when determing speed in football? Wouldn't a 10 or 20 yard dash make more sense?
Does anyone other than an MIT graduate truly understand the QB rating system? Also, they tinker with the BCS formula every year, shouldn't they tinker with this rating system as well?
Why is it that you either like Kobe or LeBron? And on the flip side why do we have to 'hate' the other guy? Can't we just enjoy the incredible talents of both?
Why do we always root for the underdog?
Why do negative stories about our beloved sports heroes grab headlines way before all the positive stories that our sports heroes perform? We can all weave a tale about Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens sordid problems, but yet we have a hard time grasping the great things that many of our 'heroes' do through charities and time spent with our youth? Do we expect them to be 'better' than us? Or are we simply jealous?
And lastly, why do we blog? Much less blog about sports?
On a lighter note, yours truly was a pony away from a $30K Superfecta in the Kentucky Derby. I had Recapturetheglory in the 4 hole instead of Tale of Ekati. Recapture finished 5th while Tale finished 4th. A simple movement of Recapture into the 4 hole would have made a great weekend all that much better. Such is the life of a degenerate horse racing gambler.
Next up.............. The Preakness. Enjoy your weekend all, and a very Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful fillies in our blogosphere.
Recently some strange events have been occuring in our sports world, that just don't seem to have any logic or validity in their reason. I'll preview just a few of them for you.
NHL Salaries: The NHL season is over, and without much fanfare. However, after some big trades, and, most importantly, some big contracts , it makes one wonder how the heck these teams pay these guys? The Stanley Cup Playoffs received lower ratings than the Food Channel. Go ahead, and look it up. A cooking show featuring how to cook great hamburgers on the grill during the summer received better ratings than the Stanley Cup Finals. And what do NHL players get for their reward? Cuts in contracts? A shortened season? Fines for poor play? No. They get to sign outrageous and lucrative contracts.
Paul Kariya just signed a 3 year deal with the St. Louis Blues worth $18 Million. Yep, that is $6 Million dollars a year (and no, I don't think he is Lee Majors either) for a player that plays in a league with less viewership during their championship series than the Food Channel network. To put this into perspective, Marc Bulger, QB for the St. Louis Rams made $549,500 last year. Ed Reed, one of the best Safeties in the NFL made $581,800, and last years league MVP, LaDanian Tomlinson made $5,001,320, still shy of Kariya's latest contract. With the NFL having the most viewership of any sport in the USA, and the most viewership of any event in the world (The Super Bowl), how does a pretty good hockey player make more money than the NFL MVP? This is just plain ridiculous. I've often said that athletes salaries are off the charts, and that no one deserves to be paid more than $1 Million a year regardless of what they do.
There are CEO's of forturne 500 companies that don't make salaries of $1 Million. Question is, why do our athletes get paid that much? And why do athletes of sports nobody cares to watch, get paid so much?
If you want to check out the salaries, you can find them on the Fox Sports website.
Andrew Bogut: Mr. Bogut, the former #1 pick in the NBA draft made some comments to a paper in his home country of Australia. I'll leave his quote and let you figure it out:
"The public's image of NBA players is true. A lot of them get caught up in the hype and do video clips with rappers and all that ####. They want bling bling all over themselves and drive fast cars. But that's just the way the culture is in America - if you've got it flaunt it and if you don't, you can't."
"I'm not into jewellery. I've got some earrings but they're not too expensive. There are guys who drop a hundred grand for a chain. The public's got it right - a lot of NBA stars are arrogant and like to spend lots of money and have lots of girlfriends and all that."
If this was America's Funniest Home Videos, then Mr. Bogut just gave the US a grand ol' kick in the groin. All the stories of players living the life in the NBA aren't just stories. This is a guy who plays with these guys night in and night out. He see's this #### on a regualar basis, and all he pretty much has to say is how ridiculous the lifestyles that many of these players lead. And we wonder why we can't compete in the Summer Olympics and garner even a visit to the medal stand?
Barry Bonds and the MLB All-Star Game: Barry Bonds will be playing in this years MLB All-Star game, in his own hometown and ballpark. He received over 300,000 votes in the final days to achieve this status. You can check out some of the following links to get the stats, http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Barry+Bonds+ MLB+all-star+game+votes, but the sad story is Barry will be playing, regardless of what you think of him and his chase for the all-time home run record in MLB. Giants fans must have been logged on and voting with a passion over the final days to get their 'hero' into this contest. Oh well, I guess it makes LaRussa's job of finishing out this year's selections of who should be playing a lot less controversial. But in the end, does it really matter? Nobody will watch this game anyway; just like the NHL Stanley Cup Finals. Professional All-Star games are a joke. But that is a whole 'nother post to get into in and of itself.
A-Rod's Wife: Supposedly she showed up at a recent Yankess game with a t-shirt/tank top with the words #### YOU written in bold letters on the back. (I'll let you figure out what it said.) And no, it wasn't in small print, it was very viewable. Some fans left their seats with their children to get away from such nonsense. I'm not a big fan of gossip in any sport, but I have to wonder, maybe Alex has a reason to hang out with hookers and at strip clubs. At least they are more mature than a 12 year old.
I-Phone: If you were standing in line, and in some places sleeping in line to get an I-Phone, you need to get an I-Life. The I-phreaks, I guess, were out in masses to get the latest in geek-technology. One has to wonder why one would spend $600 on a phone. But then again, maybe I'm too simplistic in my nature, and don't understand the technology wiz of this contraption. But then again, I'll wait for 2 years and buy one for $100. Probably another reason why America is I-phat, and throw that in with the PS3 craze when that thing came out, and I have some serious problems with the intellect and social structure of our great nation. These kinds of events scare the holy I-#### out of me. Get off the couch America, there is a world out there for you to enjoy, and most of it doesn't entail a computer, phone, or dvd player. It is real people and real events such as a softball game, a golf match, or your kids soccer game. Get in tune with what really matters.
Well, that is my simple rant for the past week. But I'll leave you all with a good thought. College Football is only 59 days away before a slew of games kick off on August 30th. I'm sure there will be people actually watching these games, and no one will be wearing a $100K gold chain, whilst we enjoy watching amateurs (if you want to call them that) play our favorite game in the grand ol' US of A.
I usually don't post twice in the same day, but I have to make an exception in this case. Roger Clemens, the $20 Million Dollar Man, is going to make a 3rd start in the Minors. Yes you heard that correctly, the saving grace of the Yankees has been demoted to making a 3rd start for the Trenton Thunder before being allowed to enter the rotation of the hallowed New York Yankees.
The New York Yankees GM, Brian Cashman recently announced that their new Ace-in-the-Hole, Roger Clemens, will need to make a 3rd appearance in the Minor Leagues to shake off the rust.
In case you missed it, the Rocket, has pitched two very uninspiring Minor league games. His fastball has only been clocked in the upper 80's, lower 90's and his splitter just doesn't have that awe-inspiring movement that made him his generations most dominant pitcher.
His Minor League pitching efforts have obviously not inspired Mr. Cashman either, and he is inclined to have Roger make a third start at the lower level, further delaying his 1st appearance with The Evil Empire.
This should not come as a shock to most Major League baseball fans. Roger Clemens is 44 years old and will turn 45 this year in August. He is far from a spring chicken, and by most baseball pitching standards would have retired about 10 years ago. However, his loss of velocity on his fastball is extremely alarming. A guy who has thrown in the mid-90's throughout his career is now only throwing in the high 80's. Major League hitters gobble up 88 mph fastballs, regardless of movement. His fastball is no longer rising and is often times sitting in the middle of the plate ready to be teed off on. His control is also a little shaky as he is not finding the corners like he has throughout his dominant stint in the Majors.
For a guy who was paid $20 Million (pro rata) to supposedly salvage a rather dismal Yankees start, this is a very disturbing situation.
Maybe age has finally caught up with the "I'll play on my terms" Mr. Clemens. Maybe it is said justice for a man who thinks the league should come begging for him to play, as well as pay him like an everyday player. This may well be a preview to an 'Ace' with a 5+ ERA and more losses than victories.
Most likely I'm premature. I should probably never doubt a man with the credentials that a bonafide HOF like Mr. Clemen's possesses. But it just seems like old father time has finally caught up with Mr. Clemens afterall.
This story should start to get really interesting if Mr. Clemens continues to struggle.
Chocolate Thunder, Dr. J, George "The Ice Man" Gervin, The Brown Bomber, Magic Johnson, Pistol Pete Maravich, Smokin' Joe Frazier, Sweetness, Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns, Mean Joe Greene. (Just to name a few.)
All of these nicknames illicit such fond memories of these great athletes. Many others I have excluded. Not because they weren't great, but these are the ones I seem to remember right now off of the top of my head. Regardless. These nicknames tell so much about the player themselves.
Chocolate Thunder: Probably the hardest dunker in the history of the NBA. The main reason for collapsible rims. Back in the day Darryl Dawkins seemed to shatter a backboard on a weekly basis.
Dr. J: A true surgeon on the court. The style and grace of the great doctor may never be matched again in the NBA. The true predecessor to Air Jordan.
George "The Iceman" Gervin: Calm, cool, and collected. The Iceman would knock down jumpers regardless of what was going on around him.
The Brown Bomber: Joe Louis is regarded as one of the hardest hitting heavyweights of all-time. In his prime, if Joe caught ANYONE with a right hand, they were going down. And most likely not getting back up. (Ask Max Schmelling.)
Magic Johnson: Probably the greatest distributor of the basketball in NBA history. He purely was Magic on the court.
Pistol Pete Maravich: He simply AVERAGED 44 points a game in his NCAA career. His NBA career was a bit of a disappointment, but Pistol could flat out score.
Smokin' Joe Frazier: His huffin' and puffin' style flustered many a boxer. (Except for Ali and Foreman). Joe, was a hard charging, left-hook swinging madman in the ring. One of the greatest heavyweights of all-time. Just happened to be around at the same time as Ali and Foreman.
Sweetness: Walter Payton. His running style was his namesake. Regarded by many as the greatest RB in NFL history. Played for many horrible Bear's teams, but is still the all-time leading ground gainer in NFL history.
Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns: One of my all-time favorites. Tommy didn't back down from anybody. Involved in two of the greatest fights in boxing history in defeats to Marvin Hagler and Sugar Ray Leonard. Tommy was one of the most feared punchers in boxing history.
Mean Joe Greene: Played for the Steelers and was a stalwart in the famed Steel Curtain defense. Mean Joe was just simply that; MEAN. Also involved in one of the classis sports commercials of all-time when he gave his jersey to the kid who offered him a coke.
Well, there you have them. Some of the greatest nicknames in sports history. So you ask, "Why the post?" Well, I'm just wondering where have all the good nicknames gone? (Maybe Van Halen can make another comeback and use that as a remake of one of their classics.) Boxing, which is privy to some of the greatest nicknames ever, is almost completely out of the public eye. (I remember when it was a sin to miss a heavyweight title bout.) They are lacking stars, much less great nicknames. The NFL and NBA, the other sports prone for great nicknames? The best players are recognized mostly by their names, or just their initials alone. Tracy McGrady (T-Mac), Terrell Owens (TO), LaDanian Tomlinson (LT), Kevin Garnett (KG), Kobe Bryant (Kobe), Shaquille O'neal (Shaq), Dwyane Wade (D-Wade), Peyton Manning (Gomer?).
A third grader could think up these nicknames. Hell, anybody that can recite the alphabet has a shot at these nicknames. Where is the originality? Where is the flair? Where is the ingenuity? Gone. Gone. Gone. Too bad. These players deserve better nicknames than what they are getting.
I propose a bloggers revolution. Let us dream up the names of our current day stars. Let us give LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, LaDainian Tomlinson, et al, their true due. A nickname worth having. So let me here it, bloggers. Find your favorite player and give him/her an appropriate nickname. Because they deserve much better than what they are getting now.
By the way, you can just call me N'Mus from now on.
