Howdy Folks. Hope all is well with all of you. Holidays, in-laws, extended family, snow for some of us, sleet and freezing rain for others… it’s just a brilliant time of year. My wife and subsist on Eggnog loaded with brandy and Vodka tonics as far as the eye can see. My 3 and 5 year old daughters like water with lemon so they can sit on the floor, watch “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” for the 94th time and look exasperated just like Mum and Dad. It’s family bonding time

My 3 year old actually said when I stated I was going out to shovel: “Where the hell do you think you’re going? The movie is not over – so that means your time on the floor with us is not over.” So, after getting permission from her to load up the Vodka, I sat back down, drowning myself in Whoville.

As I sat there I thought about me. I know selfish right? Being a dad, a husband, a brother and a son takes a toll. I have two sisters, mother, a wife and two daughters. I don’t think I have to tell you just how much estrogen fogs my vision, controls my life and creates issues out of statements. No offense ladies, but we men do believe in simplicity while most women believe in complexity. If something is easy there’s a reason for that… and women are hell bent to find that reason. Find out where the difficulty lies and exploit it, talk it to death, go over it… while men would just as soon relish the ease, wallow in all that is complete, void of questions.

Okay, I am tangent ridden here – sorry about that.

So I was thinking about myself; thinking about my days a soccer star in college and high school. I use “star” loosely, but this is my blog and my memories and in both, I am the Crispin Glover of the Indy Movie set.

As a man I have a “hero” complex. Most men do from conversation I have had with mates. Being the guy to do a tracheotomy with a pen in restaurant; being the guy who disarms the bank robber; the one who just happens to be at the right place at the right time and catches the baby being thrown out of the window to escape a fire. Try as I might, it’s hard to be second all the time. It’s hard knowing you’re a hero to your wife and kids, but never hearing it. I know my daughters think I’m the strongest man ever. I know my wife thinks… I better not finish this, because I have no idea what my wife thinks. I thought I knew that she loved the color blue. That turned out to be wrong. I thought she loved when I kissed her ear – that came crashing down in a “Ya know that thing you do – yeah, I hate that” conversation. Fun stuff.

There are certain movies that evoke this emotion the – I wanna be a hero, a tough guy with a heart of gold, a protector. Not so much hero, but men I would like to be or rather find themselves in a situation, a moment where I would like the opportunity to be. The beginning fight scene on the “island” in No Escape with Ray Liotta is one. The end of The Professional with Jean Reno is another. I want to be THAT guy.

It’s the same way with sports. Imagine being Joe Carter – game winning homerun to win the 1993 World Series. Michael Jordan, 1998 – over or rather around Bryon Russell – hand extended in a shooters finish to win the NBA Championship. Tiger Woods – Augusta 2005 16th hole.

I want to be that guy.

I would never trade the spot from where I write this. I do not bemoan my lot in life. I do however occasionally daydream. My kids are wonderful, never fight, will some day grace the covers of both Vogue and Time. So will yours. My wife is beautiful and smart and a Tomcat in the sack. So is yours. Daydreaming – see what I mean?

Who do you want to be if only for a moment; to be in that situation, do what they did?

On the ice in Lake Placid, 1980?

Aussie Annette Kellerman, 1907 attracting National attention as the first underwater ballerina in the New York Hippodrome?

Perhaps Dave Chen, member of the 2007 Chinese Softball League of Chicago Champion, Goodfellas and League MVP.

I’m out like Isiah, I mean Marbury, I mean Jalen...

Yankees, Angels, Sawx and Cubs - these are all potential destinations for A-Rod. By all looks of it, A-Rod is going to opt out... move on. And why not? Who would want to play for the Yankees anymore? They have the highest payroll, yet they are 10 games out of first. (To put this in perspective, they would be 6 game out of first in the NL Central... arugably the most woeful division in baseball.)

A-Rod is a sensitive guy. The NY media gets to him - he's admitted that. That fans jumping on his back gets to him - he's admitted this too. Whether A-Rod is a winner is yet to be determined. His .102 batting average in the playoffs the last two years is certainly not playing in his favor. (Oh to be hovering around the Mendoza line!) He's stand up guy who's name you never see in the blotter.

A-Rod needs to play for the Cubs: for the sake of his sanity, the sake of his career.

You see, we Cub fans are different: futility, thy name is Cubs. To be a Cub fan means to suck it, eat it, bite it, slurp it, dunk it in water to make it go down easier... we are used to disappointment. A-Rod is a great regular season player. We LOVE the regular season - until Labor Day that is, when CUBS officially becomes: Completely Useless By September.

All of the pressure of success will be but a memory. All of those fans who expect a Championship will be in the other league. The owner who stalks his players, forbids facial hair - hell, we don't even have an owner. The constant comparisons to Jeter - with the Cubs, he'll play the same position as Jeter - A-Rod would get to be a SS again!

A-Rod would be a God in Chicago. I think he knows this. We all know this. Boras knows this. Boras has more clients in Chicago than he could shake a stick at - and I've seen him shake a stick at a lot of people.

It just makes sense. A-Rod is a gamer but he gets too wound up, too nervous, to bothered. We expect it! Losing in the first round of playoffs? That's success round these parts. Mathematically eliminated by May 8th? We gave it a go, can't win 'em all - next year is our year! A couple two, tree errors? Ummm have you met us?

Lastly, when our ballplayers go out on the town with mysterious blonds, they stay that way, mysterious. Vegas has nothing on the fraternity that is Chicago. What happens in Vegas stay in Vegas? What happens in Chicago - never happened. You hear me? It NEVER happened.

Admittedly I have been gone for a while. But, I think I left the blogoshere in very talented, capable hands. From… (I was going to start naming but knew I would forget so many of you that I thought it better to simply state the obvious: There are so many talented bloggers, it is actually difficult to read them all. Unless you are a high school kid who obviously has tons of free time to pontificate from their soapbox – in which case, you should have noticed the unbelievable creativity, thought and insight that has gone into so many posts. Okay, you know what? Screw it. I am Cansecoing this blogoshpere: I’m naming names.

Tophatal - The African American Experience As Seen Through The Eyes Of A Brit !

EdClinchSaintHardiman - Clinch's History with the Super Bowl: An American Institution/Benchmark

Socal – The Legacy of Michelle Wie

Christopher Ross - Better Blogs? It's Like, Come On.

Norcalfella - Knockout round marches on without United States

Nooch - Northern California Dreaming

1steelerfan1 - "I'm Johnnie McGrath" - A Fictional Story

jgrace_12 - What Today is Really All About

UltraMegaOK1988 - Online Poker is Rigged, and I Have Evidence

Dudski - Sports Town Moves to Mayberry

I have missed so many – to those Bloggers, I apologize. I will, when time permits add to this list. I think a running total oughta do the trick in disproving, rather than proving, that the theory that good blogs and posts are hard to come by. Each of us bloggers has an archive. Rick Reilly ain’t great all the time, either is Jason Whitlock, Tony Kornheiser or anyone else.

The notion that one blogger is so skilled with the ability to throw down mandates, so above reproach is ridiculous.

I understand high school gym class bravado.

I understand that reading Red Badge of Courage and then completing your shadow box can give one a huge sense of accomplishment.

I know how cool it is to write for the high school newspaper, reporting on the fat content of Wednesday’s pizza and how that is ground-breaking if not small town Watergate.

I understand the misguided words of youth. Step back, work on your craft and unless you plan on working for the E! network, leave the bashing to Canseco and McGwire circa 1988.

I’m out like Briggs.

Wow, been awhile.  Things look different, feel different: so many new avatars, new names.  It is going to take a hella long time to acclimate myself.

There a few of you I know, a few who stayed with it and I have to tell you, you look good.  The #### Clarks of the blogging world.

Dime - you look chunky, fattening up on the draft and all of the trade rumors: Kobe going to the Saudis for Shuda Ben Kovictadah and a player to be named, Garnett going to Boston for Red Auerbach's soul, Jermaine O'Neal to the Knicks for their first round pick in the 2008 - 2015 draft.

Miracle - you look good.  Aside from the Soccer bashing I mean.

Bafongu - Still making the rounds - sad informative piece on Benoit.  Truly saddens me.  With kids of mine and wife that I actually like, I read these stories in disgust.  (Is it just me or does there seem to be a rash of fathers/husbands, killing their wives and children?  This is easily the 4th story I have heard in the last two months.)

Socal - you couldn't get much fatter last time I was here, so it shocks me a bit to see that your literary waistband has expanded a notch or two.  Great piece on fatherhood changing a man.  I say man, because it takes a man to be a father… not to “father a child”, but “be a father to a child”.  Nice call on ditching golf.  A hole in one on your way to a 68 wouldn’t stay with you nearly as long as the repeated looks on your daughter’s face while watching the game with you.

EdHardiman – Still running strong – still delusional about the Hoosiers chances of doing anything beyond harkening us for the old days and Jimmy Chitwood.  (Regardless, I love your attention to detail and wit.)

A lot has happened since I last wrote…

David Beckham signed with the LA Galaxy and now his “Bestest Friend” Tom Cruise wants to buy them.  Their wives now look identical with their bob haircuts – not that there is anything wrong with that, I am a fan of looking at both of them.  But seriously, how are these two couples friends?  Beckham is the most popular athlete in the world.  Sorry soccer haters, but it’s true.  Last time I checked there was no phenomenon in many Asian countries for woman to shave their Hoo Hahs in the “Jordan” or the “Jeter” or the “Brady” or the “Tiger” meaning they would match his changing hairstyles, like they do with Beckham.  Tom Cruise a chunky has been.  He will never be what he once was.  Posh is Posh.  You may not like her, but her stint as a ####e Girl has given her more than enough money to buy and sell adoration.  Katie Holmes has become a “Single White Female”.  She matches Vic’s clothes, hair… if she names her next son “Bronx”, I would be worried, very worried.

Rod Beck died.  This saddened me.  He was the closer form the trailer park.  The guy who made no bones about his mullet, his handlebar or his job.  The guy was a players’ player.  His autopsy is going to come out and I am sincerely hoping the guy had a bad ticker and not something more sinister like drugs… but, I’m not holding my breath.

Kobe demanded to be traded then took it back and the demanded to be traded and then demanded that he be the next Batman and then he wanted all of the Laker Girls to be called “Kobe’s Beef and Boobs”.  (Them girls have some junk in the trunk.)  Dr. Buss’ son then weighed in on the subject on his blog.  Seriously?  This guy must have balls of iron to think that anyone cares what he has to say or that anyone even knows who he is.

Michael Barrett got his royal arse kicked by Carlos Zambrano and then flushed by the Cubs.  The guy was a decent hitter, but quite possibly the worst combination of base runner / signal caller.

Zach Braff has come out in the tabloids as a ladies man.  Zach Braff?  The guy makes Beckham look like a weightlifter and Jim Carrey somehow seem less goofy.  I am a huge fan of Scrubs, but this guy as a ladies man just shocks me.  He’s the guy the women befriend.  They sleep in their underwear, safe in the knowledge that he isn’t smuggling a roll of lifesavers or a new employee of the “Just let me verify your cup size” Bra company.

Tank Johnson, Pacman, Chris Henry… all got busted for something and suspended.  Is it a factor of class that Tank is cut and the other two remain on their respective rosters?  Or is it success that has brought this about?  The Bears are the best team out of the three, went to the Super Bowl last year… does this success allow them to cut a guy like Tank, while the Bengals and Titans are more forgiving needing these guys to win?  Either way, kudos to the Bears.  I love being able to root for a team that stands for something other than a hearing.

More to come, I have a few breaks this summer, so hopefully I can get back, stay back and meet some o’ y’all.

I’m out like drunken ####stick trying to tackle my man Howry.

Visions of 2007

I had an epiphany overnight.  I was up – just about the entire night alternating between the Wiggles, Grease - the Movie and Braatz!, tending to my 4 year old daughter who unlike the other kids in her preschool who brought home artwork, decided to depart with a horrendous stomach flu.

 I think it was the fourth Wiggles episode when I began to think, “Wow, they have covered a lot in their time in the spotlight.  What are they going to do next?  With Greg having to retire from travel and shows… state of flux has certainly hit The Wiggles”, pausing to give myself a “seriously, are you thinking about the Wiggles” head slap, my mind drifted to the sports world of 2007.  There are so many questions.

 *Please note I am not making light of the departure of Greg from the Wiggles or his illness.  This truly hit my family hard – my wife being an Aussie and two daughters who were both rather sure they may just marry Greg.)

 Remember in Back to the Future 52 when Buzz gets the book that gives him all the scores for all of the sporting events and he becomes the mega-millionaire?   

How cool would that be?  Who would have thunk to bet on Villanova over Georgetown? 

So, with a brief reprieve from the hair-holding and clean up… I apologize for being graphic here, but why is that kids have the uncanny knack for vomiting EVERYWHERE but the toilet?... I had time to think about the upcoming sports season.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep.  Maybe it was seeing a talking dog, talking door, dancing octopus, Frankie Avalon crooning or attitudinal little girls who had to have come from the Land of Misfit Toys, but I have my projections and many are, I know, far fetched… but, they are true.  I spoke to Buzz and he let me borrow his book.

MLB

Notes:

Johan Santana wins AL Cy Young – shocking I know.

Freddie Garcia wins NL Cy Young – steps up big with run support.

Nomar Garciaparra wins NL Batting Title – just like back in the day.

Ichiro wins AL Batting Title – just like back in the day.

Kerry Wood wins Comeback Player of the Year.

Barry Bonds breaks the HR record and it is equated to a tree falling in the forest. 

 
Playoffs:

 
NL West - Dodgers

NL East - Mets

NL Central - Cubs

Wildcard - Phillies

AL West - Rangers

AL East - RedSox

AL Central - Twins

Wildcard – Indians

 
Cubs over Mets

Dodgers over Phillies

 
RedSox over Indians

Twins over Rangers

 
Cubs over Dodgers

RedSox over Twins

Cubs over RedSox

NFL

 
Notes:

The Texans will trade David Carr and regret that almost immediately.  Showing the skills and poise that made him a Number 1 draft pick, Carr goes on to a Pro Bowl career… now that he has longer that .2 to throw the ball.

 
JaMarcus Russell is the Number pick, selected by the Raiders and instantaneously brings a modicum of class to the organization sorely missed since the days of Tim Brown.  They still lose 12 games, but they average over 10 points.

MVP – Brett Favre – in a last hurrah steps up huge.

Rushing Leader – Frank Gore – with a vastly improved passing game, the lanes look like a freeway.

 
Playoffs

 NFC North – Bears – easy pic

NFC South – Atlanta makes all the right moves for Petrino

NFC East – Dallas - in a division of beaten up foes

NFC West – San Francisco

Wildcards: Green Bay and Arizona

Green Bay over Atlanta – no repeat for the Falcons at Lambeau.

Dallas over Arizona

Bears over Dallas

Green Bay over San Fran

Bears over Green Bay

AFC North – Cincinnati – palmer comes back after his season of fear

AFC South - Indianapolis

AFC East – Miami – (Brady is too consumed with dating and fatherhood.)

AFC West – Denver – playing for fallen teammates and under Cutler – score big.

Wildcards: Tennessee and San Diego

 
Miami over Tennessee

San Diego over Cincinnati

Indy over San Diego

Denver over Miami

Indy over Denver

 
Super Bowl XLII – Bears over Indy in a rematch.

NHL

 
Please see “tree in forest”.

NBA

 
Someone wins, someone loses.  Almost everyone gets Bengaled… I mean arrested.

 
Shockingly enough, the Suns defeat the Pistons in the Finals – Cuban is still throwing a fit and the fine is now being calculated on a digital screen like they have at casinos.

                                                       *                  *                  *
 

Sorry, but that’s all for today, gotta run – it’s the Wiggles episode where Jeff falls asleep!