Gambit is a man. SRM Genuis is a man. Ubershorty is a man. David Downs is a man. The question is about the rest of you. Lots of "experts" check in to the NBA section. You don't hesitate to tell me all about how I know nothing about the NBA. You run your mouths like the words that spill out actually mean anything.

Ubershorty and Downs have started NBA fantasy leagues. I've never played fantasy NBA before. I belong to both leagues. I expect to win both leagues despite the real men I will have to beat.

If you write about the NBA and you haven't joined either of these leagues I think we know why now. Boys will be boys and boys are cowards. Real men aren't afraid of being beat by a woman. So don't join. Just sit around the blog flapping your lips and pretending to be ballers. Haha.  Real men take their chances. Losers sit around and fantasize about getting field dressed like a Moose by Paris Palin.  Or stand up and try to keep it from happening by me for real.

Give Downs or Ubershorty your real email so they can send you invites. If you dare.

'm sure Army-Navy consider their annual game to be a storied rivarly.  Michigan-Ohio State at one time right? USC-Notre Dame back when both were contending for a national title?

Just about pick any two SEC teams and their fans will claim they have an intense rivarly.

In the big 12 certain games may matter more year to year but their is only one game that matters the second Saturday of every October.  When it was written that Bob Stoops had placed his job in jeopardy for not winning in the last three bowl games that made me laugh at the ignorance of the big 12 by that  self proclaimed "expert" College Fooball writer. Bob Stoops beat s Texas 1 out of every 2 years and Bob Stoops can be the coach of OU for as long as he wants.

It's that intense. And it's that time. The undefeated Sooners travel to Dallas to meet the undefeated Longhorns. Forget rankings. It doesn't matter any more than it matters when both are not in the top 10. This is about Texas and Oklahoma. The states. Texas and their huge state. Goliath if you will, and tiny Oklahoma playing the role of David.

We're not a rich state in Oklahoma. We don't have a million acre ranch anywhere. We don't have as many people in  the entire state as Houston and Dallas have combined.  So we take out pride where we can. Beating the Longhorns will do for an entire year.

The past weekend at the flea market every third person had on an OU shirt and hat. Every other third person had on either a hat or a shirt and the final third were visiting the state. My boss bought 11 cases of 40oz plastic Sooner cups at a Goodwill auction for 113.00. There were like 400 cups in each case. Sold them for a dollar each . LOL. Sold out by noon. That's how intense it is.

Who will win? I don't know. I'm not  a college football expert. I know OU has a fine quarterback in Soph Sam Bradford. Texas has a fine QB named Colt something or the other. Both teams have great offenses and  can play defense although have a tendency to let down now and then.

OU leads the nation in scoring in the first quarter, jumping on virtually everyone and then cruising in. I don't know enough about Texas to say. I do know high scoring Missouri is lurking in the background so to say the winner cruises to the national title game could be way out of line but for this weekend that's immaterial. The rights to being "who's your daddy" is on the line in Dallas.

GO SOONERS!!!!

Kobe Fact::  On Kobe's 30th birthday he had 3 NBA  Championship rings.  Michael Jordan had 2 NBA championship rings. Wilt Chamberlain had 1.

John McCain and Sarah Palin have a solution for the recession. A Moose for every pot. In the event McCain is elected he announced he would put Palin in charge of the important job of hunting down every moose in America, killing it and gutting it and skinning it on the spot so no American will have to go hungry while turning over their paychecks to Wall Street for the next 8 years. According to the National Wildlife Register there are roughly 800,000 Moose in the USA and 300 million people. No seconds.

If you dare, Downs has a fantasy NBA league (Ubershorty too) and I'm in both. You think you can take out a girl? I doubt it. No, let me put that correctly. I KNOW you can't. If you wish to be humiliated and taken apart at the seams join David/Ubershorty/both for some NBA fantasy action. And watch your mouth. Not that kind of Fantasy. SLAP!!!

Recently while making the case that Kobe is MJ's equal I stated that MJ had an advantage because players were not allowed to double him unless he actually was in posession of the ball. One person, I think it was EdClinch was polite and asked where I had come up with that trivia. Others were not so polite. I wrote to Charley Rosen asking him if I was correct and would he please answer me even if he didn't have the space for his column.

I got the following response. I choose to believe i is real. In case it is, I have taken the liberty of deleting his email address because I so appreciate his taking the time to respond that I'm not going to give it out for every hater in the world to blast his email. Here is what he said.

Nique - yes, it used to be illegal to double a player who didn't have the ball - and this was indeed legalized with the introduction of the zone - also, way back in the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s it was illegal to double a player who had the ball - imagine how many points guys like TD, LBJ and Kobe would have scored under those circumstances              Charley

How about that? Not just another pretty face huh?

After the Oregon State Beavers lost to Utah on a last play field goal I found myself feeling bad for the Beavers. Which is unusual because prior to their beating USC, I couldn't have told you which was state or which was just Oregon between Beavers and Ducks.

A college football expert I am not.  But fans on this blog determine a lot about how I feel about  certain games and situations. I'm not allowed at the top of the board regardless of subject or number of hits. Because of a USC fan. I'm not allowed to show up in certain categories because of a USC fan. I'm not allowed to show up in the most recent hits because of a USC fan. The rumor that I was a man who used to blog here was started by a USC fan.

No small wonder I'm no fan of USC. By region I am an OU fan. Not that I really care if they win the national title. Why should I? My bills don't go down if they do. My bills go up regardless just like yours.

The amount of vile hating that goes on on these blogs about one team or another is beyond me. I'm not supposed to like Ohio State U but I don't dislike them and since Joker is an OSU fan and he's nice to me, I find myself pulling for OSU to have a comeback.

Is Alabama or LSU better? I have no idea and neither do you. We will find out eventually but in the meantime I'm pulling for LSU because Gambit has been nice to me and I'm not sure I've even talked to any Bama fans that often. I also pull for the New Orleans Hornets mostly because of Gambit.

My boyfriend goes to Oklahoma State (another OSU) I go to Tulsa U. Who would I pull for if they played? He doesn't care at all about football and I would pull for whichever team had the best chance to finish in the top 10 to represent the State nationally.

Same thing if OU and OSU played. If OU was 8-2 and OSU was 10-0 I'd pull for OSU despite liking OU better. It's a state thing. I imagine many Oregon Ducks fans were happy for OSU (again) beating USC.

I  was told what a worthless piece of #### I am because I don't have the "investment" in college football that most on these blogs have. What investment? You sit around in your underwear wearing a "USC hat " and get drunk yelling at the TV?

I don't even sit around in my underwear wearing a Dallas hat for Cowboy games getting drunk.  Not even for Kobe and the Lakers who are my real sports passion.

Sports are for entertainment to me. My life will not significently change one way or the other if my teams win or lose. It's a momentary instant gratification or a momentary disappointment. At the end of the day, Kobe is not going to be dropping by my house or your house regardless of how much I like him or how much you hate him. It's just a game.

Now I have to start on my schoolwork because I work this weekend from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. outdoors and will not feel like doing schoolwork after being exhausted from dealing with people all day who think paying more than a dollar for anything is wrong. Even if it's marked 79.99.

A weekend at the flea market is like a week of dealing with USC fans.  

For every Ken Griffey Jr there are 5 sons of famous Athletes who barely make it to the pro's and hang on for dear life for a few years. If that. For every Barry Bonds there are 20 sons of famous Athletes who don't make it to the pro's at all.

I'm not the foremost expert on the NBA around but I started thinking about who are the son's of famous top rank players who are stars today in the NBA. Sure Kobe is the son of a former player but "Jellybean" was hardly a star.

Do you know of any playing star NBA ball today whose fathers played star level NBA?

I think it's definately not a matter of genes if you consider MJ's kid. And God surely has more to do than designate every 200th baby to be a pro athlete star? Maybe it's just a matter of the luck of the draw.

On another front, I've been critized for bringing politics into focus for his election. Funny how that works. Here's the number one reason for the NFL having problems according to professional writer Jason Whitlock. Interjecting politics as a paid writer. But bloggers aren't supposed to. LOL  Whatever.

1. Sarah Palin vs. Joe Biden tonight feels like Super Bowl III, the New York Jets vs. the Baltimore Colts.

Honestly, I would skip the Super Bowl to watch Paris Palin try to string together coherent thoughts on issues she's just heard about in the past week. Tonight's debate is easily the most anticipated television event in my lifetime.

I would rather watch Paris Palin make a mockery of our corrupt, substance-less political process than watch the series finale of "The Wire."

If Paris Palin pulls an upset, it will go down as the biggest surprise since Broadway Joe derailed the Colts.

Paris Palin. LOL Nailed it Jason.

I'm almost certain that the Capitol One Credit card commericals with the Atilla the Hun types were inspired by Raider fans.  Wouldn't be at all suprised if it turned out that the commercials used Raider fans entirely.

Did you notice in Al Davis's latest tirade that he looks like his more outrageous fans even without a costume on?

It's gotten to the point that the Raider Organization (which amounts to Al Davis), the Raider players and Raider fans should be sent to some camp for a total makeover. They look like death warmed over for the most part ,  their halloween costumes are so garish and outdated that even a retro 80's person like myself can't find the humor in them any longer.

You expect some guys in the end zone to be acting goofy and adding color to the game or at least hope they will. In the Raiders case they don't have the idiots in the end zone. They own the team, they coach the team, they are the team and the realistic, intelligent, knowledgable Raider fan is an oxymoron today. To be more than a Raider fan just because you always were is an exercise in ignorance.

There is no excuse for the Okland Raiders and with rare exception, their fans have about as much credibility as Al Davis does. But then they say dogs look like their owners.

Didn't Take T.O. long to get off the launching pad did it? While I remain committed to my belief that the guy is missing a few screws, nuts and bolts, others have claimed that he's "found a home". T.O. is a fool. One loss and 'Houston we have inigition'.

It really pains me to even type the name Brett Favre because of all the unretirement silliness that went on, on these blogs but it must be done. Six Touchdowns. Against anyone. When the Jets have lost with Favre it's because of lack of defense. The old man can still play the game.

Speaking of a lack of defense wasn't Tank Johnson and Pacman Jones supposed to be the final pieces of the puzzle for Dallas? Even if you're naive enough to see Tony Romo as the second coming of Joe Montana the Cowboys are not going to beat many good teams with that charade of a defense.

Don't you think it's a bit immature how some people are gloating about the Patriots "fall from grace". Like the Patriots are somehow now being beat to a pulp by teams who have caught up to a Tom Brady team. Some of you need to go be Raider fans and live in denial in unity.

In Oklahoma without a NFL team of our own our choices are usually regional area inspired. Most are Dallas Cowboy fans. Why you may ask? Have you looked at the Kanas City Chiefs or the St. Louis Rams lately? As for the New Orleans Ain'tsGambit is a nice guy and loves his Saints but you have to come through once in a decade or so in order to build the regional fan base.

Last weekend at the flea market a boy of about 7 or 8 came up to my booth wearing a Michael Vick jersey. I said are you a Vick fan? He said who? I said the jersey you're wearing. It's of a former QB in the NFL. You're not a Vick fan? He said, "I don't know what you're talking about. I got this jersey for 50 cents over there."

.  How the mighty have fallen. Talk about your going to the dogs.

Recently there has been a furor of furor. Nothing of substance has come out it (and when does it?) and nobody who dislikes Lebron or Sarah Palin has changed their mind. Nobody that likes Kobe or Barack Obama has changed their mind.  Joker has gotten slapped numerous times and B @ O  has asked to get slapped a number of times and the status quo remains.

Despite that some would claim otherwise, there is more to life than sports. One person likened talking politics at this time of year to being in a sports bar and everyone wants to talk sports except for one guy. That's not even close to being an accurate analogy. In a sports bar you have no option if someone lights up the candle on a subject you don't care to indulge in. Here you can just ignore them.

This is the most critical situation in America since the great depression we are told. I don't believe it for a minute because Politicans cry wolf better than anyone since the fable was writtten. At the same time we have a presidential election that is dead square in the middle of it all because the Bush Administration was so corrupt they couldn't slink off into the sunset before it collapsed all around them.

To not ever talk about it with those you interact daiily is to deny it's existance. Some say well it's a sports blog. I would like to point out to you ladies and gentlemen that the Supreme Court of the United States of America has ruled that girlie photos must be not displayed if a woman finds them offensive in the work place.  The opposite would be true if I posted the calendar of the water polo team I suppose.

My point is this. Girly photos don't interest me. But they obviously do interest a number of you. I don't complain, I don't report people for it, I don't go off on you for it. It's just part of our daily existance. Politics, hurricanes, tornadoes, health problems and dusty are all off topic to sports and just as much a part of our daily existance regardless of how I feel about it. Why should you have it any better? 

It's people being people. It's all for  the love of the game of life.

This blog was placed in the "other category" and will not show up there. Funny how things work around here isn't it?

If God rested on the 7th day these two snuck in while he was napping.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid they are not. They were apprehended fourteen days in a row trying to plug a parking meter with a dime on a string. At the same exact location.

Recently they were dismissed from a jury for passing notes to an elderly white haired woman prosecutor asking if she would consider being the mayo on their hot dogs.

The reason captured terrorists are taken to Guantanamo Bay is to keep this terrible twosome from being a bad influence on them.

They double dated at their high school prom. On a bicycle. Came to blows over which one got to sit on the handlebars.

The only reason they're allowed to blog is because the White House requested that they be kept in plain sight so tax dollars wouldn't be wasted chasing them down from dark alley  to dark alley all the time.

You may have noticed there is less curvy model pictures here of late than there once was. This is because a number of said models have threatened to sue Fox if their images show up on either of their blogs. "There are limits even for models" one complaint said.

Both live with their mothers. Each other's mother.

You slap one and the other heads for the bathroom with a lingerie catalogue. You slap the other and the first one will start whining about the second getting more good stuff than him.

They're always bragging about one living in a toxic waste site and the other pretending he lives with humans. Neither is true. It's been reported that they're all 5,000 comediens out of work eternally searching for a stage like ships passing the night. They've been banned in 43 states and 111 countries.

The Taliban ,the Baptist church, The Pope and the Dali Lama  issued a joint edict naming them as the primary reason for the decaying morals of society.

They tried to file a class action suit against Florida for racism and violation of civil rights for Hanging Chad.

Extreme Home Makeover asked for suggestions from Volunteers as to how best improve their homes. 16% suggested they move out, while 84% said forcibly remove them.

One is responsible for the international lipstick shortage and the other thinks he runs a detective agency out of a condemned Porta Potty.

Our blog's first double roast is  B@ O and Jokerswild or Jokerswild and B @ O . (Watch them fall to bickering as to who should be listed first.)

Have at them

Disclaimer: The following is a parody and any resemblence to any living or dead or in hiding person is purely intentional. I mean coincidental or whatever it is that you disclaim when you talk straight.

I write about everything. I am the expert on everything. But mostly I'm an expert on how great USC is and how overhyped and overrated everyone else that plays college ball is in the big 12 and the SEC are. I spend considerable time harassing the Big East and Big (and little) everything else. Big Ten, Big 2, Big 44, you got a big, I'll put them in their place. There is only one big and it's the Big USC. who plays in the Big Smogbowl known as MudslideVille. You may remember Mudslideville because that's where SC plays and the Mighty Casey AKA Petey "The White Rabbit" Carroll (No relation since this is straight talk, to Lewis Carroll) resides,  and everyone knows that LSU and Oklahoma and Missouri and Georgia and all the Florida Teams stink outloud.

Not to mention how horrible OSU (all of them), Alabama, Penn State are and I love to obsess about that fat Charlie Weis  and how Notre Dame can't even beat the teams he's supposed to beat much less beat teams that have quarterbacks who run 200 yards on you in title games when you know all you had to do was key the one guy and you're national champions. Know what I mean? You better.

I'm a Raider fan and that right there tells you that I know a commitment to excellence and if you don't recognize USC as the one NCAA team better than the Dallas Cowboys then you're a fool and it's my job to tell you so. And I like my job.

Now I have something to say about OU's Bob Stoops. His job is on the hot seat for coming up short three years in a row in Bowl Games. Obviously  the man can't coach. He can't win the big ones.

Excuse me? Are you sure? What day is this? OMG! I lost a day somewhere. I thought USC was playing Oregon State tonight. Are you sure about this? I'll be right back. I have to verify this for myself? Oh very funny. You're hilarous aren't you? No, I'm not writing a blog about how Petey Carroll can't win the little ones.

Nevermind

And you? If you say I'm late!!, I'm late!!!! one more time I'm slapping the white rabbit right out of you.

"I'm a Sooner born, a Sooner bred and when I die I'll be a Sooner dead, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, OKU!!!!"

STOP THAT SINGING!!!