If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

 

With Old Trafford sizzling on Saturday as Manchester United and Arsenal readied for battle, the menu was set for a feast of football. The two best chef’s in the business, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger all set and ready to cook us a masterpiece but sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth. This time around the Frenchman was left with egg on his face because United deep fried, battered, poached, broiled and finally baked his Arsenal team with a performance that would’ve had Gordon Ramsay licking his lips.

 

Ferguson got his ingredients just right despite not having the secret sauce of Cristiano Ronaldo. Picking Darren Fletcher off the shelf looked a stroke of genius as the Scotsman only responded with his first two goals of the season while Nani was a times deliciously unplayable. Can you also imagine what the score would’ve been if Wayne Rooney had had his shooting boots on. The England striker by my own generous count missed three stone cold sitters that on any other day he would’ve tucked away with relish, dip and mustard. Throw in a majestic performance from the often criticized, Michael Carrick, and you can start talking about breakfast, lunch and dinner because the ‘Treble’ won in 1999 looks to be back on the table.

 

I don’t know the FA Cup draw yet but rest assured United will probably get Chelsea in the last eight after meeting Villa/Spurs and now Arsenal. Lyon provide the opposition in the Champions League while in the Premiership the Gunners currently have a five point lead but have yet to visit Stamford Bridge and Old Trafford for a massive six-pointer. No wonder the Scotsman has a spring in his step.

 

Arsenal and Arsene Wenger on the other hand looked to have lost the recipe that has made them the tastiest morsel this season. Wenger surely must’ve known that he couldn’t pull off an Anfield special at the Theater of Dreams. If Justin Hoyte and Armand Traore were waiters your meal would’ve surely been all over the floor. Whether it was a case of nerves, rust or lack of confidence, Wenger got it wrong defensively. What a time to relegate Mathieu Flamini to the bench as well. Flamini has been the engine room for the Gunners allowing Cesc Fabregas to prompt and conduct – not to knock Gilberto but the Brazilian’s best days are behind him.

 

And a problem that I thought Wenger had finally solved came back to leave a bad taste in the mouth…discipline. Emmanuel Eboue is an athletic chap but having an outstretched leg six feet of the floor with studs leading is asking for trouble – a straight red was the only course of action for the maitre d’, Alan Wiley. Luckily for captain, William Gallas, Wiley must’ve have spotted a fly in his soup because he missed the Frenchman lashing out at Nani, which would’ve been an instant red card. With Emmanuel Adebayor flopping around like the fish of the day and Gilberto somehow escaping a second yellow card after booting Luis Saha up in the air, there are some worrisome signs for Wenger ahead of their epic AC Milan clash in midweek.

 

Of course writing off Arsenal has proven to be a mugs game this year but we’re now at the stage of the season where the Michelin stars are being handed out. The pressure cooker is steaming and simple, silly mistakes can ruin the entire dinning experience. Wenger has a young squad that plays with a verve and panache unmatched in England they’ve just got to watch out for the wet floor.

 

So get your diaries out and make a reservation for April 12th and a battle between the Iron Chefs. You know that on that day, Old Trafford will be the culinary centerpiece of the universe.

 

Until then, get the beers in.

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

 

With Old Trafford sizzling on Saturday as Manchester United and Arsenal readied for battle, the menu was set for a feast of football. The two best chef’s in the business, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger all set and ready to cook us a masterpiece but sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth. This time around the Frenchman was left with egg on his face because United deep fried, battered, poached, broiled and finally baked his Arsenal team with a performance that would’ve had Gordon Ramsay licking his lips.

 

Ferguson got his ingredients just right despite not having the secret sauce of Cristiano Ronaldo. Picking Darren Fletcher off the shelf looked a stroke of genius as the Scotsman only responded with his first two goals of the season while Nani was a times deliciously unplayable. Can you also imagine what the score would’ve been if Wayne Rooney had had his shooting boots on. The England striker by my own generous count missed three stone cold sitters that on any other day he would’ve tucked away with relish, dip and mustard. Throw in a majestic performance from the often criticized, Michael Carrick, and you can start talking about breakfast, lunch and dinner because the ‘Treble’ won in 1999 looks to be back on the table.

 

I don’t know the FA Cup draw yet but rest assured United will probably get Chelsea in the last eight after meeting Villa/Spurs and now Arsenal. Lyon provide the opposition in the Champions League while in the Premiership the Gunners currently have a five point lead but have yet to visit Stamford Bridge and Old Trafford for a massive six-pointer. No wonder the Scotsman has a spring in his step.

 

Arsenal and Arsene Wenger on the other hand looked to have lost the recipe that has made them the tastiest morsel this season. Wenger surely must’ve known that he couldn’t pull off an Anfield special at the Theater of Dreams. If Justin Hoyte and Armand Traore were waiters your meal would’ve surely been all over the floor. Whether it was a case of nerves, rust or lack of confidence, Wenger got it wrong defensively. What a time to relegate Mathieu Flamini to the bench as well. Flamini has been the engine room for the Gunners allowing Cesc Fabregas to prompt and conduct – not to knock Gilberto but the Brazilian’s best days are behind him.

 

And a problem that I thought Wenger had finally solved came back to leave a bad taste in the mouth…discipline. Emmanuel Eboue is an athletic chap but having an outstretched leg six feet of the floor with studs leading is asking for trouble – a straight red was the only course of action for the maitre d’, Alan Wiley. Luckily for captain, William Gallas, Wiley must’ve have spotted a fly in his soup because he missed the Frenchman lashing out at Nani, which would’ve been an instant red card. With Emmanuel Adebayor flopping around like the fish of the day and Gilberto somehow escaping a second yellow card after booting Luis Saha up in the air, there are some worrisome signs for Wenger ahead of their epic AC Milan clash in midweek.

 

Of course writing off Arsenal has proven to be a mugs game this year but we’re now at the stage of the season where the Michelin stars are being handed out. The pressure cooker is steaming and simple, silly mistakes can ruin the entire dinning experience. Wenger has a young squad that plays with a verve and panache unmatched in England they’ve just got to watch out for the wet floor.

 

So get your diaries out and make a reservation for April 12th and a battle between the Iron Chefs. You know that on that day, Old Trafford will be the culinary centerpiece of the universe.

 

Until then, get the beers in.

I have a problem and it’s a problem as old as life itself – balancing work and a family.

After spending eight plus hours at the FSC studios doing nothing but watching, speaking, directing and producing football, my American wife gets her fashionable knickers in a right old twist when at the end of the day after fighting through Los Angeles, Westside traffic, I wearily trudge through my front door, peck her on the cheek, kiss the nipper and ask for the TV remote. Without looking at the devil’s tool, I punch in a set of numbers and up pops nirvana, football, 24 hours a day.

To be fair, she doesn’t complain. She knows it’s my job or that’s what I tell her as I sheepishly explain that the FA Cup is the oldest, most historic knockout competition in the world and that Mansfield Town versus Middlesbrough is ‘must see TV’. 

“Seriously, Mansfield Town can pull off the shock of the round. This is a ‘can’t miss’ match,” I explain. The eye roll that follows lets me know that soccer speak will only take me so far.

“Look,” she says, “I’ll come and watch you drag your sorry carcass around a pitch for two hours. I’ll watch you on the TV. I’ll even go online to read your ramblings but after four years, I still don’t understand this addiction you have and I’ll tell you and anyone who cares to read why.” 

Personally, I’m not sure I’m ready for this but according to an American women (my wife) the following are the reasons why they don’t ‘get’ a sport I’ve been in love with my whole life… 

“Courtney, here. Let me just start by saying that I love sports. I grew up in New England so I am no stranger to the thrill of victory nor the agony of defeat. I’ve celebrated the Celtics dynasty of the 80’s and early 90’s. Cried on more than one occasion about a Yankees victory and remember way back when the Patriots nearly perfect season was 1-13 (or something like that).

I would LOVE for soccer to be a big deal in America. I feel for Nick every time someone on TV, the Internet or the radio makes a crack about soccer being the most boring game in the world. I don’t think it’s the most boring but I see where there are some problems.

Okay, my thoughts in no particular order…and I know this will seem unsophisticated but here it goes:

There’s so many of them (matches). They always seem to be on (English/Spanish/Italian, Euros/World Cup/Whatever!). And it always seems as though it is some big qualifier for something. Then I ask, “So that’s it? Are they are out? It’s over?” The answer is invariably a complicated explanation of who needs to win and lose for the match to have really decided anything. I need higher stakes to care more about the game. It’s the same reason I have no interest in baseball or basketball until the post season. Unless it’s the Red Sox or Celtics…scratch that. Only if the Red Sox are playing the Yankees!

Ties are acceptable – no sudden death? This makes me crazy and it’s related to my previous point about the match not really being that important. If I have invested 90-plus minutes in the game and asked enough questions to care about the teams playing, including some info about the coaches and players and then it ends in a TIE?!?!? What? No good. I want some serious, thrilling do or die action to a victory.

Low scores. I know this makes me appear to be an ignorant American who can’t appreciate the attraction of this ‘beautiful game’ of yours…but it just seems to drag on and on. Up and down the pitch. Over and over. I want the stakes to be dynamic. “Yes, they’re winning!!” – “Noooooo, they’re losing!!” – I want adrenaline and missed attempts on goal don’t do it for me.

They just go on and on with no climactic set up of action. No downs, no tip offs, no changing of pitchers, no field goals, no stolen bases... There just don’t seem to be varied opportunities to score points or significantly affect the team’s advantage. I don’t doubt that they exist – I just don’t see them.

I know it’s the most popular spectator sport in the world...I respect that and I’m sure I’d enjoy the sport if I had grown up with it and understood all the intricacies. But I didn’t and I don’t. I wish I did. Or maybe what I really wish, if I’m going to dream, is that they’d change the game and take some of my comments into consideration. Not likely.

Let the persecution begin…

(and Nick, I hope you appreciate my writing your article tonight!)

Yes I do Courtney...

I had originally planned to pontificate endlessly about the magic and unpredictability of the FA Cup today. The trouble is this - since 1996 only Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester United have won the FA Cup and after this years 4th round, nothing looks like changing. So that’s the motivation for this piece. I came home and told the wife the FA Cup was predictable which led to the response you’ve just read.

So the question has to be this.

Will American women ever get the game (I know it doesn’t matter but we have to humor them eh!)…who knows but one thing is for sure and it’s something men have said since time began. ‘Can’t live with them, can’t live without them’.

Until then, grab me a beer Court, there’s a match I’ve just got to watch 

Is it right to expect things to stay the same?

As a young boy in England, the 3rd round of the FA Cup was a magical time. Muddy pitches, parka coats, packed terraces the size of your Grandmothers living room and a plethora of non-league clubs dreaming of cup glory – it’s not quite like that anymore.

This weekend the 126th edition of the world’s oldest knockout competition welcomed the big boys of the Championship along with the Premiership. While the magic of the cup wasn’t what a spotty faced teenager remembered, thankfully, that delightful whiff of an upset still hung in the air as a few of the elite got their noses tweaked and bottoms spanked.

Blackburn, Bolton, Birmingham and most surprisingly Everton were all dumped out of the Cup by lower league opposition while Derby, Newcastle, Fulham and incredibly Liverpool will have to do it all over again.

But where I ask myself are the Hereford’s, the Colchester, the Wimbledon’s circa 1975, and Yeovil Town’s. This season, much to my disappointment, only two non-league clubs have made the money spinning round and neither team got the plum draw they deserved. While you can’t expect a bumper payday every time Sir Trevor Brooking plays with balls in a cloth bag, Havant & Waterlooville and Chasetown deserved better than the Welsh pair of Swansea and Cardiff respectively…no offence Wales!

Havant & Waterlooville will enter the draw today thanks to a battling 1-1 tie and I hope that Old Trafford or Stamford Bridge is more than enough incentive to win their replay. Still the days of the amateurs making noise in the FA Cup are gone. The gap between the divisions is now so massive that the lower league sides rely exclusively on the Premiership teams fielding weakened teams to advance, which in my eyes dilutes the achievement. In other words it can still be a shock result but it doesn’t take your breath away like Wrexham turning over the Gunners or Harry Redknapp’s Bournmouth humiliating United way back when.

In fact nothing about the cup really shocks me anymore. Consider that in the last 12 years the competition has only been one by four clubs. There is no prize for guessing their identity…Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea – no wonder they’re called the ‘big four’.

The FA Cup as grand as its traditions once were now reminds me of a classic Rolls Royce that’s been rusting in the garage. Yeah, it’s a cool car but boy does it need a tune up, paint job and detail.

When you consider it was the Football Association that all but killed the competition by allowing Manchester United not to defend the Cup in 2000 and their inability to rebuild Wembley in decent time, I charge this decrepit organization to revamp the Cup – and the way to do that is to give the minnows a better chance of taking on Goliath.

Firstly I propose that the 3rd draw should be seeded so that Premiership teams cannot meet each other. In this seasons draw that would’ve guaranteed six smaller clubs a chance for glory. 

Secondly, instead of replays (which in the old days could be endless), ties should go straight to extra-time and then to a shoot-out. Can you imagine the twitchy bums at Kenilworth Road if Rafa Benitez and his Reds realized the comfort of Anfield and the 4th round was one missed spot kick away.

Thirdly and this is where I agree with UEFA President, Michel Platini,. The winner of the FA Cup should get a qualifying berth to the Champions League. Not only would this ensure that teams field their strongest elevens but it would give the Cup back its magic.

So what is this magic we old-timers get misty eyed about. Well it’s simple, it’s all about dreaming. It doesn’t really matter if the dream is 99% out of reach, it’s the 1% chance that the miracle is possible. Unless the FA can recapture that ‘magic, that ‘romance’ I’m afraid that the oldest knockout competition in the world will remain a second rate tournament.

No we can’t go back to the old days but we can bring back the idea that made the FA Cup the world’s favorite cup competition.

Until then, get the beers in.

 

..Congrats to Chelsea, the FA and Carling Cup in the same season matches Liverpool back in 2001. Hard lines United but you didn't want it enough.

Overall thoughts are that the game was a bust. I was hoping for blood and thunder but got a damp squib. For those of you paying $25 sorry but look on the bright side - the Champions League is free!

So that's the season done in England, see you all Weds for the big game and hopefully more excitement than this boring 120 minutes.

With the world watching or snoozing depending on what you call entertainment the two best teams in England are content to play cat-and-mouse.

Chelsea have been the better team but can't really carve out any decent chances while United have been awful when you consider the football they've played this season. Fergie must give Rooney some help and get Ronaldo the ball or and I hate to say this...it'll stay scoreless and we'll go to PK's...I'm think I'll puke if that happens.

..I expect disciplined, efficient football from the Blues but United have been drab. No spark, invention and they look content to play this way. I thought Fergie said they'd play attacking football...the Scotsman was fibbing, big time! This has been one of their most uninspiring performances I've seen from them this year. What a way to open Wembley!

..by Chelsea as Lamps tests van der Sar with a low grubber. United need to get support for Rooney - he looks very lonely up top. SWP then blazes over. The Blues though look more in control at this point of the game half-an-hour in.

..at last. First Ronaldo goes on a jinking run scaring the pants off Ferreira and then Joe Cole shows that he can do it better before linking with Drogba who shoots narrowly wide. That's better cos it's been a snoozer so far.

..15 minutes in and other than J Cole tatooing Browns shin and one little skirmish in midfield, nothing much is happening as Chelseaare content to keep possession at the back.

..start by both sides. Drogba nutted a Bridge cross over the bar but it was a tough chance. It looks like Rooney is up front on his todd with Giggs supporting. Ronaldo has yet to have a run against Ferreira yet.

...Wembley is open for business. Blimey I never thought we'd be back at the home of football but it looks like its been worth the wait. The stadium looks fantastic and boy is it loud. Prince Willie opened it up with the shortest speech in history which is alright by me and out come the teams...hair raising stuff...I'm lovin' it.