If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

 

With Old Trafford sizzling on Saturday as Manchester United and Arsenal readied for battle, the menu was set for a feast of football. The two best chef’s in the business, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger all set and ready to cook us a masterpiece but sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth. This time around the Frenchman was left with egg on his face because United deep fried, battered, poached, broiled and finally baked his Arsenal team with a performance that would’ve had Gordon Ramsay licking his lips.

 

Ferguson got his ingredients just right despite not having the secret sauce of Cristiano Ronaldo. Picking Darren Fletcher off the shelf looked a stroke of genius as the Scotsman only responded with his first two goals of the season while Nani was a times deliciously unplayable. Can you also imagine what the score would’ve been if Wayne Rooney had had his shooting boots on. The England striker by my own generous count missed three stone cold sitters that on any other day he would’ve tucked away with relish, dip and mustard. Throw in a majestic performance from the often criticized, Michael Carrick, and you can start talking about breakfast, lunch and dinner because the ‘Treble’ won in 1999 looks to be back on the table.

 

I don’t know the FA Cup draw yet but rest assured United will probably get Chelsea in the last eight after meeting Villa/Spurs and now Arsenal. Lyon provide the opposition in the Champions League while in the Premiership the Gunners currently have a five point lead but have yet to visit Stamford Bridge and Old Trafford for a massive six-pointer. No wonder the Scotsman has a spring in his step.

 

Arsenal and Arsene Wenger on the other hand looked to have lost the recipe that has made them the tastiest morsel this season. Wenger surely must’ve known that he couldn’t pull off an Anfield special at the Theater of Dreams. If Justin Hoyte and Armand Traore were waiters your meal would’ve surely been all over the floor. Whether it was a case of nerves, rust or lack of confidence, Wenger got it wrong defensively. What a time to relegate Mathieu Flamini to the bench as well. Flamini has been the engine room for the Gunners allowing Cesc Fabregas to prompt and conduct – not to knock Gilberto but the Brazilian’s best days are behind him.

 

And a problem that I thought Wenger had finally solved came back to leave a bad taste in the mouth…discipline. Emmanuel Eboue is an athletic chap but having an outstretched leg six feet of the floor with studs leading is asking for trouble – a straight red was the only course of action for the maitre d’, Alan Wiley. Luckily for captain, William Gallas, Wiley must’ve have spotted a fly in his soup because he missed the Frenchman lashing out at Nani, which would’ve been an instant red card. With Emmanuel Adebayor flopping around like the fish of the day and Gilberto somehow escaping a second yellow card after booting Luis Saha up in the air, there are some worrisome signs for Wenger ahead of their epic AC Milan clash in midweek.

 

Of course writing off Arsenal has proven to be a mugs game this year but we’re now at the stage of the season where the Michelin stars are being handed out. The pressure cooker is steaming and simple, silly mistakes can ruin the entire dinning experience. Wenger has a young squad that plays with a verve and panache unmatched in England they’ve just got to watch out for the wet floor.

 

So get your diaries out and make a reservation for April 12th and a battle between the Iron Chefs. You know that on that day, Old Trafford will be the culinary centerpiece of the universe.

 

Until then, get the beers in.