Nick Shlain

  If there was one thing I predicted right before football season, it was that I would definitely enjoy watching the Miami Dolphins this year. They have everything that you look for in terms of entertainment. They have a fired up, ultra-motivated coach in former Michigan State coach Nick Saban. They have the quarterback controversy with two bad quarterbacks (which used to think was patented by the Lions). They have a good defense with veterans, who won’t accept the 14 points a week their crappy offense is getting them (this happened with the Lions last year). They also have some mighty fine cheerleaders. miamidolphins.com/cheerleaders/cheerleaders_index
.asp What more could you ask for?

The best part of all of this is the quarterback battle. One would think that Daunte Culpepper would be able to hold a job over Joey Harrington for longer than four weeks. Wrong. Culpepper, who just two years ago almost threw for 5,000 yards and 40 touchdowns, couldn’t get the ball out of his hands before defenders were all over him. That’s why he isn’t starting anymore, he may or may not have been brought back to soon and on top of that, he’s been sacked more times than anyone else in the league. Plus, his 2-3 touchdown to interception ratio and 77 quarterback rating.

Four weeks? It only took Harrington four weeks to get a starting job with the Dolphins? How is this possible? I thought he was awful? Well, he is probably still not good, but he does deserve a chance outside of the Lions organization. I mean c’mon, he didn’t have any ‘weapons’ or any offensive line help in Detroit, how can he not turn this ship around and lead Saban’s Dolphins to the playoffs? If Trent Dilfer can win a Super Bowl, there’s no reason why Joey can’t get the ‘Fins the Wild Card.

Harrington is unproven, which obviously leaves rooms for improvements, but shouldn’t be labeled a total bust just yet. He wasn’t worth the number three pick of the 2002 draft, but he could become a serviceable quarterback. He has never cracked 80 on his quarterback rating and he’s never thrown 20 touchdown passes in a single season. Then again, he’s never had a competent head coach, look what that’s done for David Carr.

Joey is still young (27) and can still salvage his career, maybe not in the minds of Lions fans, but there may be a lot of time left in his career if he can take full advantage of this opportunity. Plus, if this whole ‘football’ thing doesn’t work out for Joey, he could always play the piano, who wouldn’t want Joey on their IPOD?

I wish Joey the best with football and his weird new hairstyle, I hope they both workout for him. He was treated a little unfairly here in Detroit and if he’s still starting come Thanksgiving, he’ll be treated poorly again. Here’s what I would really like to see: Joey lead the ‘Fins comeback, comes into Detroit and torches the Lions on Thanksgiving and the Fords firing Matt Millen before the end of the weekend. Wouldn’t you sacrifice the Thanksgiving game and a loss to Joey for the firing of Millen? Yeah, me too.

I told you so. Last week I said that I was about to breakout and that is exactly what I did. I went 11-3 with wins in my lock of the week and the Lions game. My overall record doesn’t look so good, but if you take away that awful week one (5-11) then I’m 35-23 since then. That’s 60% winners. Not to mention that instead of zeroing in on a few games, I have to pick all of them.

My Fab Five

1 – Chicago Bears (5-0)

2 – Indianapolis Colts (5-0)

3 – Cincinnati Bengals (3-1) 

4 – San Diego Chargers (3-1

5 – Philadelphia Eagles (4-1)  

The one sentence game picks worked to perfection last week, I’ll ride her ‘til she bucks. Anyway, on the game picks. HOME teams in CAPS.

Season: 40-34

Locks: 3-2

Lions games: 3-2

Last Week: 11-3

Buffalo +1.5 vs. DETROIT – 0-16, I Believe.

Carolina +3.5 vs. BALTIMORE – John Fox is a much, much better coach than Brian Billick.

Cincinnati -6.5 vs. TAMPA BAY – Buccaneer Bruce beat the spread last week, no way this continues.

Houston +13.5 vs. DALLAS – The Texans can actually play. Carr looks good, his quarterback rating is best in the league?!?!?!  

My Giants +3.5 vs. Atlanta – The G-Men, coming off a big home win, should continue to grind through the toughest schedule in the NFL.

PHILADELPHIA -3.5 vs. New Orleans – The front runner for NFL MVP: Donovan McNaab.

ST. LOUIS +3.5 vs. Seattle – The Rams are close to unbeatable in the dome, especially against the Hawks after a whooping and a bye.

WASHINGTON -9.5 vs. Tennessee – When the game is over before it starts, pick the winner.

PITTSBURGH -6.5 vs. Kansas City – The Steelers are 1-3 and reeling, time to rally and turn the season around at home.

Miami +3.5 vs. NY JETS – Joey on the road, book it.

San Diego -10.5 vs. SAN FRANCISCO – Phillip Rivers has a quarterback rating of 130 in the fourth quarter (Remember the fourth quarter? You know, the one that matters most?).

DENVER -14.5 vs. Oakland – I repeat, never bet on the Raiders.

ARIZONA +10.5 vs. Chicago – The Matt Leinart Bandwagon rolls on.

Lock of the Week: PITTSBURGH -6.5 vs. Kansas City

Nick Shlain

ANN ARBOR – Have you ever been kicked in the balls? I’m not talking about a little girly kick either, I mean from like a guy who played soccer in high school or something. Top all of that off with a stomach punch (one that you could see coming), this one would be from, oh, John L. Smith. Wait, then it would probably be a slap. Yeah, I had one of ‘those days’ on Saturday. The kick in the balls was the Yankees elimination from the playoffs again and the stomach punch was Michigan State losing to Michigan 31-13.

I had my favorite sports team of all-time ever, the only team I talk trash about, the only team I brag about how good they are and I had them knocked out of the playoffs. The season is over. Pack your bags and I’ll see you guys next year, A-Rod hopefully not. I’ll get to him later.

I also had my favorite college football team, the 16 point underdog on Saturday, Michigan State act like they had better things to do for the second week in a row. It started before the Spartans even took the field, their band major was #### his little thing and then he fell over in front of the 111,000 people at The Big House, quite embarrassing if you ask me. That summarized the day for me, total embarrassment.

 Opening possession for State and they go three and out before you can say, “Did he really just call THAT play?” Then, after Michigan was driving down the field with little to no resistance, the Spartans force a fumble and recover it. It’s reviewed and overturned. On the very next play, MSU gives up a touchdown.

That’s pretty much a microcosm of the game, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. The Spartans couldn’t do anything right and even when they did it wasn’t legitimate. Demond Williams tipped a pass in the end zone and it goes right into the hands of Michigan’s Mario Manningham (rhymes with Quincy Landingham).

I just re-read the last two paragraphs and realized I didn’t show you how bad MSU actually played and how bad the offensive play calling was. The Spartans committed 11 penalties for 87 yards. They are undisciplined to say the least, did I mention this is the worth year under this head coach and he still doesn’t have full control of this team? I digress, nothing on the ground for MSU beside a few nice runs by Jehuu Caulcrick. By the way, Caulcrick was unstoppable against Notre Dame because nobody as big as him was as fast as him, UM has players like that so call plays with him going places other than right up the middle, that only works on undersized defenses. How could you confuse UM with an undersized defense, Alan Branch is one of the biggest kids I’ve ever seen at the college level. How is he the same species as the rest of us? Anyway, extremely predictable play calling, every UM player knew Jerramy Scott was going to get the ball when he lines up a quarterback, that may work against Idaho, but this is Michigan.

The Yankees were outplayed. Yes, all you Tiger fans have been waiting all year for me to say that, so I did. You guys deserve it. Even if you’re not on the team, start acting like it. It’s October, go buy a sweatshirt and showoff.

It was 4-0 Tigers in the third. I knew it was over then, that’s why I didn’t keep asking the people around me updates, I didn’t need them. I know my team; I know when they have a chance and when they don’t. They didn’t have a chance if they feel behind early because this team’s chemistry was nonexistent. The Yankees have four players on the team that were in New York for the dynasty of 96-00: Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera. That’s it. Then they have major head cases (A-Rod) and major egos (Gary Sheffield). Also, the don’t have any pitching outside of Chien Ming-Wang and Mike Mussina. Look at some of their rotations in 1998: Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, David Wells, Orlando Hernandez and Hideki Irabu (Irabu was not good, but technically he was part of a staff that won 131 games including playoffs). Those guys are not walking through that door. Okay, I sound like Rick Pitino, moving on.

The fallout of this series for the Yankees is that A-Rod will most likely be moving on to play for the Kansas City Royals. The Yankees will pay him the rest of his entire salary, so the Royals with Cheese can afford it. He will never play in a meaningful game for the rest of his entire career in Kansas City and he will be able to break Hank Aaron’s home run record, but it will have an asterisk by it, because nothing he ever did meant anything in the grand scheme of things. Sorry A-Rod, but I can’t defend you when you play like a dog. I’m sorry A-Rod, you broke my heart. Okay, I’m sounding like Michael Corleone, please leave town immediately.

Another possibility is that Yankees Manager Joe Torre will step down after this brutal performance. I wouldn’t mind the change now, I would imagine that he’s hearing it from the Boss now, so he might want to leave town too. This is also the best time for this; I don’t think Joe Girardi and Lou Piniella are going to be on the market at the same time for a long time after this year, we have to get one of these guys, preferably Girardi.

I feel a little better after venting, I know most of you reading this are on cloud nine, those UM/Tiger fans laughing at my misery. But that’s okay, that’s sports, I’m going to roll with the punches and bounce back. The Yankees will, not State, they have Ohio State next week and need a new coach like A-Rod needs a hit in the playoffs (get out of my life, I hate you), but the Yankees will be back next year. Yeah, venting was a good idea. Man I hope the Giants win on Sunday…

Nick Shlain

  Week 5 will be dominated by one thing and one thing only. Terrell Owens goes to Philly. That’s all you will see on television from now until Monday. Face it; the networks know that the casual fans will be drawn to the tube if they throw T.O. at them. So basically, for us real fans that will watch football no matter what, we’re about to be put through this charade again. As if the alleged suicide wasn’t enough, he has to go to Philadelphia the next week. One of the major plus sides of college football is no T.O. This is a legitimate reason not to like ESPN, their promotion of the Yankees isn’t.
   The only team that is still undefeated against the spread is America’s Team, the New Orleans Saints. The main reason for this is a weak schedule, but beside that their offense is pretty good. I will now laugh at everyone who took Reggie Bush ahead of Deuce McAllister in fantasy.
   I’m very happy that the Matt Leinart era is starting now in Arizona, I’m also very optimistic that he will have success. He is surrounded by so much talent, not on the offensive line, but pretty much everywhere else on offense. Leinart will definitely fare better than last week because he will have a full week of getting the number one reps during practice. Grab him in fantasy, although he is a gamble, he could be a top 12 quarterback by the end of the year.
  
  My Fab Five
  1 – Indianapolis Colts (4-0) have the best team in football.
  2 – Chicago Bears (4-0) have the best defense in football.
  3 – Cincinnati Bengals (3-1) have the best offense in football.
  4 – Baltimore Ravens (4-0) beat the Chargers.
  5 – New England Patriots (3-1) have good body language.
  
  Season: 29-31
  Locks: 2-2
  Lions Games: 2-2
  Last Week: 7-7
  
   Week 4 was an okay week; I went 7-7 again. The difference was that I got my lock and the Lions this week. I’m telling you, one of these weeks I’m going to break through and go on a hot streak. It has to happen. Beside week 1, I’ve been .500 or better every week. I’m bound to break out.
   The pick that I was most proud of was Da Chicago Bears -3.5 at home against the defending NFC Champions Seahawks. A lot of national guys picked the ‘hawks. It meant a lot not only that they lost, but the way that they lost. Da Bears showed that they are for real, so did Rex Grossman in particular. Matt Hasselbeck looked like a chump, and a fantasy bust compared to what he did last week against my Giants.
   The pick I was most ashamed of was Miami -3.5 at Houston. I picked a team that hadn’t covered any of the first three games. Then again, I had no choice to because neither of these teams covered the first three.
  
  Anyway, on to the game picks. As always, HOME teams in CAPS.
  
  MINNESOTTA -6.5 vs. Detroit – The Lions are a joke, Mike and Terry won’t even talk about them anymore. So neither will I.
  
  Cleveland +9.5 vs. CAROLINA – The Panthers haven’t covered a game so far this year, until they do I won’t take them.
  
  INDIANAPOLIS -17.5 vs. Tennessee – Peyton Manning at home against a team that was just throttled at home, I like it.
  
  NEW ENGLAND -9.5 vs. Miami – Miami hasn’t covered yet and just lost to the Texans on the road, how are they going to beat the Pats in Foxboro?
  
  CHICAGO -9.5 vs. Buffalo – Some have Da Bears number one in their power rankings, that’s enough for me.
  
  NEW ORLEANDS -6.5 vs. Tampa Bay – Bruce Gradkowski on the road? Puh-lease!
  
  St. Louis -2.5 vs. GREEN BAY – Jeff Wilkins will cover this by himself.
  
  MY GIANTS -3.5 vs. Washington – The G-Men at home, nice.
  
  SAN FRANCISCO -2.5 vs. Oakland – The Raiders are terrible.
  
  JACKSONVILLE -6.5 vs. NY Jets – J-ville played reactive last week, if they play proactive this week they will roll the Jets.
  
  PHILADELPHIA -2.5 vs. Dallas – T.O. is going to get what he deserves.
  
  ARIZONA +3.5 vs. Kansas City – All aboard the Matt Leinart bandwagon.
  
  SAN DIEGO -3.5 vs. Pittsburgh – “Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego,” Ron Burgundy. Thanks Ron. (Youtube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=l33ohfzgk9k)
  
  Baltimore +3.5 vs. DENVER – I hate Jake Plummer.
  
  Lock of the Week: St. Louis -2.5 vs. GREEN BAY

This has been such a great baseball season and the playoffs are finally here. So before the Yankees and Tigers square off, I had to give out some awards. C’mon, is there any other way to go out?

American League MVP – NYY Derek Jeter – AVG .343 HR 14 RBI 97 OBP .417 SLG .483 – There’s no way that the Yankees would be where they are without Jeter. It’s that simple. You could’ve given him the MVP in years past based off of only intangibles, now he’s got the numbers too. He almost won the batting title and almost drove in 100 runs out of the two hole. He was 34-for-39 in steals and is the best base runner in the entire game (tell me if you see him get thrown out while going from first to third, it doesn’t happen). Jeter also plays the toughest position on the field beside catcher and was fifth in the league among shortstops in fielding percentage. This has been Jeter’s best season yet.

 David Ortiz, Jermaine Dye and Travis Hafner missed the playoffs so they can’t win it with just their numbers. Justin Morneau has a significantly lower OBP and plays first base, the easiest position to play. That leaves Derek Jeter as the AL MVP.

National League MVP – PHI Ryan Howard – AVG .313 HR 58 RBI 149 OBP .425 SLG .659 – You can’t win the MVP without making the playoffs unless your stats are unreal. Howard’s stats are unreal. Look at his slugging, it’s disgusting. That’s what happens when you have 84 extra base hits.

His stats are the reason why I picked him over Albert Pujols. Pujols has a lot going for him too and a real shot of winning it. He had virtually no help from anyone, he was their entire offense and he carried them to the playoffs, not bad. Throw in this stat line: AVG .331 HR 49 RBI 137 OBP .431 SLG 671 and Albert has a serious chance of winning. I still like Howard because of the homers and runs batted in.

American League Cy Young – MIN Johan Santana – 19-7 ERA 2.77 WHIP 1.00 K’s 245 – Santana finished first or tied for first in Wins, ERA and K’s. That’s the pitching Triple Crown (first time since Hal Newhowser did this in 1945). I would like to tell you that Chein Ming-Wang was better this year, but I can’t. I would like to tell you that Justin Verlander was better this year, again I can’t. Santana was the best pitcher in baseball this year.

National League Cy Young – HOU Roy Oswalt – 15-8 ERA 2.98 WHIP 1.17 K’s 166 – You really want to know why I picked Oswalt? Here’s why: because I picked him at the beginning of the season to win this award and there isn’t a clear cut favorite. While I’m making some confessions here’s another: Outside of inter-league play, I haven’t watched a National League game from start to finish all year. I haven’t had the time. I’m in two AL-Only fantasy leagues, no reason to watch NL games. Maybe I’ll catch the Mets in the playoffs, maybe…

American League Rookie of the Year – DET Justin Verlander – 17-9 ERA 3.63 WHIP 1.33 K’s 124 – I picked both ROYs right. Anyway, JV has definitely been at the Varsity level this year. He outlasted Francisco Liriano and he earned the job in spring training unlike Jered Weaver. That’s what separates him from the pack. I thought Verlander would strikeout more guys, but that will come later as he matures and learns how to pace himself in the long season and with him gaining control of his off speed stuff. The Tigers have had a lot of high draft picks recently, this one actually paid off.

National League Rookie of the Year – WAS Ryan Zimmerman – AVG .287 HR 20 RBI 110 OBP .351 SLG .471 – Very good offensive numbers for such a young player. His defense also factors in; he’s been compared to Scott Rolen with the glove. Like many young players his consistency is lacking, that will only improve with experience and his average will soar along with his on-base.

American League Manager of the Year – DET Jim Leyland – 95-67 – Leyland is the perfect manager for the Tigers. He plays right to the fans with everything he says. In the clinching celebration at Kansas City he was talking about Alan Trammell and Kirk Gibson. I don’t think it’s fake either. He’s genuinely the perfect manager for this team and city. He’s a miracle worker, couldn’t have done a better job with these guys.

National League Manager of the Year – FLA Joe Girardi – 78-84 – Girardi did wonders with young player. Sure they were mostly top prospects, but still young and inexperienced. He guided them to a good season, almost a winning season and almost the playoffs. If his owner hadn’t gotten in the way, they could’ve done it. He’ll be one of the only people to be fired while winning Manager of the Year. I’m sure Marlin fans are going to be happy with Dusty Baker as their manager next year while they regress in the win column.

Comeback Player of the Year – OAK Frank Thomas – AVG .270 HR 39 RBI 114 OBP .381 SLG .545 – I know most like Jim Thome for this award, I even picked Thome at the beginning of the year and still think it’s got to be Thomas. Big Hurt carried the A’s for a solid two months. The A’s couldn’t score. They have one of the worst offenses in the American League and he stepped up big time. How can you not love Bo Jackson’s fullback at Auburn?

Tiger of the Year – DET Carlos Guillen – AVG .320 HR 19 RBI 85 OBP .400 SLG .519 – Guillen is the most complete Tiger. He is a five tool player, plus he takes walks. Before the knee problems he was gold glove caliber, now he’s at the point where DH isn’t such a farfetched plan. Still, he was the best offensive player on the team for the second time (he was in 2004 as well, when he had 97 RBI). He also stole 20 bases making him one homer away from going 20-20. Did I mention he’s the only Tiger with a .400 OBP and the only one with an OBP higher than .350?

The Mark Prior Award – To the injury prone star – OAK Rich Harden – 46.2 Innings pitched – This was the ultimate torture for fantasy owners (yeah, I took this guy in the second round and picked him to win the Cy Young at the beginning of the year). When you’re checking your computer to see how a pitcher’s game of catch went, you have a problem. What more could you ask for from this award? There were multiple injuries (back and elbow). Multiple comebacks, rehab starts and rumors that he was coming back.

The Todd Jones Rollercoaster Award – To the closer who tortures fans and fantasy owners the most – HOU Brad Lidge – Trust me, when you lose your closer job to Dan Wheeler in mid-season, something is seriously wrong. It’s Albert Pujols’ fault. His homer off of Lidge last year marks the turning point in Lidge’s career. He hasn’t been the same since. Does Lidge sleep at night, or does he imagine that play in his mind all night?

Best Call-up of the Season – To the minor leaguer who made the most impact – LAA Jered Weaver – At the time of Weaver’s call-up he had 27 consecutive scoreless innings pitched at Triple-A, then he started his major league career with 13 scoreless innings, making it 40 innings in a row without a run allowed. He also had 13 K’s in his first 13 innings in the big leagues. Jered is so good he got his brother (Jeff, remember the hot head rookie ace of the Tigers awhile back?) banished to the bullpen. Weaver replaced 2005 Cy Young winner Bartolo Colon and was actually better than him.

The Mickey Stanley for Roy Oyler Substitution of the Year – To the change that led to the most success – BOS Jonathan Papelbon for Keith Foulke – Injury problems have hurt Foulke, mainly with his knee. Papelbon went from young prospect starter to lead the team in saves with 35. It was just learned today that the Red Sox will move him back to the starting rotation, but it was fun while it lasted.

The Michael McD Award – To the best poker face – NYY Sal Fasano – This one was not even close, Fasano really showed his versatility this year. First in Philly, he went with the goatee and mullet look. Then he gets shipped to New York and Big Stein makes him shave it down to a porn stache. By far the best face in the game today.

The Grady Little Award – To the most overmatched manager (previous winner: Alan Trammell 2005) – CHC Dusty Baker – If you ever want to read a funny site about the Cubs and Bears, go to desipio.com. Baker’s main problem was he falls in love with players. He fell in love with Neifi Perez. He played him and batted him second for almost the entire first half of the season. He is statistically the worst offensive player in all of baseball. Perez walked a total of eight times all year and had a .260 OBP and Dusty still batted him second. It was by far the worst decision this year. The best decision of the year was the Cubs letting him go.

The Carl Everett Award – To the biggest head case in the league – TB Delmon Young – Although he can mash with the best young hitters in the league, Delmon has the mental stability of a young kid. He’s the guy who threw the bat at the umpire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW0tuz3_Hgc).
I would like to say that his organization isn’t going to let this stuff continue, but it is the Devil Rays.

The Julio Franco Award – To the ageless wonder – NYM Orlando Hernandez – El Duque is one of my favorite Yankees of all-time. Here’s why: he's 9-3 with a 2.55 ERA in 106 career postseason innings. Anyway, nobody really knows how old El Duque is, that’s why I gave him this award.

The Natural Award – To the late bloomer – SEA Raul Ibanez – Ibanez never played 100 games in an MLB season until he was 28 years old. This year he went nuts, 33 homers and 123 runs batted in. He is a big time hitter now.

The Yogi Berra Award – Quote of the Year – This has to go to Secondhand Leyland for this beauty,"I told (Jamie) Walker if (David) Ortiz came up late, he could go to the concession stand." That’s harsh and hilarious.

My Take on the Yankees – Tigers Series: In a five game series anything can happen. You want to know who the favorite is? Flip a coin, that’s who it is. Anything is possible, including flukes. There is a reason why they play a 162 game season. Five games aren’t enough to fully evaluate two teams, seven is much better. You can have one dominant pitcher to win games one and five, all you have to do now is steal a middle game and you’re in the LCS. It’s not hard to pull an upset.

Still, I like the Yankees to win the series because of how the Tigers have played over the last month of the year and the makeup of their lineup. Not to mention Kenny Rogers’ post season career.

World Series Prediction: Yankees over Dodgers in six.

Nick Shlain

Week three was an okay week; I went 7-7 with my picks. Not bad, but nothing special. I had a few real good picks (Cincy +3.5 and Minny +3.5) and as usual I made a few mistakes (My Giants +3.5 and Baltimore -6.5). I’m the Drew Stanton of NFL handicappers. Ugh, still hurts. I’m taking it much, much better than Mike, though.
   Anyway, the loss that hurt the most (beside MSU and my Giants, geez that’s a lot of pain) was Baltimore -6.5 because it was such an easy game to win for the Ravens. First off, if Steve McNair was even close to pre-injury every other week McNair, then this game would’ve been a blowout, but he’s not. He’s awful. Was he on the Cleveland Browns payroll for this game? He was 23-41 with his passes, but that could’ve been a lot worse because Derrick Mason caught everything on his side of the field on Sunday. I’ve mentioned in previous columns my hate for Brian Billick and even I thought he couldn’t mess up this spread and that brings us back to the original lesson: never put anything past Billick. If there’s a team that looks like a guarantee to cover the spread and Billick is involved, expect the worst. He is a nightmare. The Ravens would’ve had close to 30 points with just about any other quarterback and any other coach in the league. Unfortunately for me, they had the only two guys who could mess this thing up. Their defense is so good, that I just might fall in this trap later this year.
   The Monday night game couldn’t have gone better; maybe if I picked it right, that’s my only complaint. I must not have a soul for picking Atlanta -3.5.
   Anyway, the atmosphere was awesome, the place was sold-out. I saw an interview o####uy who didn’t have a home and still had six Saints season tickets. The worst part is that, this wasn’t an uncommon scenario. There are numerous homeless people that have multiple season tickets for the Saints. So to recap: they sold out an NFL stadium with predominantly homeless people.
   First possession for Atlanta was a three and out. But wait, the Saints also blocked the punt and returned it for a touchdown. That was by far, the best moment of the season. That was one explosive outburst of emotion. Move over Dallas Cowboys, this is now America’s team. I now have an excuse to get a Reggie Bush jersey, it’s patriotic.
   By the way, I told you so about Sean Payton. He’s the best new head coach in the league and his motivation skills are great. He’s a Bill Parcells product. Lock it down, coach of the year.
   Jeremy Shockey said the Giants were "out-coached" by Seattle. "We got outplayed and outcoached. Write that down," Shockey said. "They were in different defenses than we thought they were going to be in. They did different things that we haven`t seen."
   Honestly, I own a Shockey jersey and usually enjoy his antics. This one I didn’t like because it is the first one that had something to do with football. Usually he’s calling people #### and flipping off fans. Now, he’s actually messing up team chemistry, but he’s not the first to do so. Tiki Barber said they were “out-coached” by the Carolina Panthers in last year’s playoff shutout loss. Also, this was Shockey passing the buck and blaming others, unlike defensive coordinator Tim Lewis, who said it was on him for the defensive struggles.
   Usually when people get mad at what Shockey says, I just bring up the fact that he’s been to three Pro Bowls in four years and has been clutch against the rival Philadelphia Eagles in crucial games that decide which team gets into the playoffs. I still remember him getting that jump ball over Brian Dawkins in the end zone in the last game of the regular season his rookie year. That touchdown put them in the playoffs. That’s how I think of Shockey, not the loud mouth #### everyone else sees.
   Even with Shockey’s stupid quote, the quote of the week has to go to Terrell Owens’ publicist. He ended the press conference on Wednesday with this classic line after being asked about the alleged suicide, “T.O. has 25 million reasons to live.”
   As for the New York Daily News saying that Tom Coughlin has lost the ear of this team, I’m not buying it. If they have a fourth quarter comeback one week, how has their coach lost this team just a week later? I still think this is a playoff team, even with their tough schedule.
   The Arizona quarterback situation is a mess and it’s affecting my fantasy team. Yes, I have Kurt Warner and picked up Matt Leinart recently because I was told by ESPN (the worldwide leader in lies-er sports) that Leinart would start this Sunday. Apparently, that’s not true. Dennis Green changed his mind overnight, that’s a bad move because I’m sure Warner wasn’t happy with his apparent demotion and may have lost trust.
   As for fantasy advice: I’m going to keep them both (Leinart as insurance) and ride this thing out. I would advise getting a good backup if possible, Charlie Frye or Alex Smith. Trust me, I drafted Frank Gore in the sixth round in my money league (3-0) and I’m one of two undefeated teams in the Sports Inferno free league that nobody checks (3-0).
  
  My Fab 5
  1 – Indianapolis Colts (3-0) have the best passing offense in the league.
  2 – Cincinnati Bengals (3-0) have the most consistent offense this year.
  3 – Chicago Bears (3-0) with Rex healthy, finally, are the best team in the NFC.
  4 – San Diego Chargers (2-0) have the best defense in the AFC.
  5 – New Orleans Saints (3-0) are the best story in the league.
  
  All undefeated teams against the spread: Jacksonville, Minnesota, Cincinnati and New Orleans.
  
  Teams with no wins against the spread: Miami, Houston, Oakland, Arizona and Carolina.
  
  Time for the game picks. As always, HOME teams in CAPS.
  
  Season: 22-24
  Locks: 1-2
  Lions’ games: 1-2
  Last Week: 7-7
  
  ST. LOUIS -5.5 vs. Detroit – Yeah, like you really thought I would take the Lions on the road again. Not in this lifetime. I would take the St. Louis Cardinals -5.5 against the Lions and their choking like no tomorrow. The Lions look like a team that just loss to the division doormat at home, enough said.
  
  SAN DIEGO -2.5 vs. Baltimore – This looks like a good defensive football game, low scoring for both teams. The game breaker is LaDainian Tomlinson. He will be the difference in the result of this football game. The running game will be crucial for the Chargers. The Ravens were able to stop the run for the most part against the Browns last week, the passing game and Frye to Braylen Edwards was what killed them. If the Chargers can open up the run with a good passing game and let LT run loose, they will win this game. Plus, if the Ravens still have the same offense (all Derrick Mason and nobody else) then they won’t even sniff the end zone against the Chargers defense.
  
  New Orleans +7.5 vs. CAROLINA – The Saints can do no wrong. They already have two road wins, sure they were against cupcake opponents in Green Bay and Cleveland, but winning on the road is the toughest thing to do in the NFL. I like the Saints to contend for the wild card and it starts in the division. Beating Atlanta last week was a start, but we don’t know if that was the adrenaline carrying them or the real Saints. I think their for real.
   Carolina has been way over hyped this year. They barely beat the lowly Buccaneers last week. Although they sent Chris Simms’ spleen packing, they could barely knockoff a team with the worst offense in their division. Still, it was a road win and those are important to get out of the way early in the year.
   I like the Saints to win this game outright, maybe a little carry over from last weeks heroics will propel them.
  
  Indianapolis -9.5 vs. NY JETS – The Colts have won more games in Giants Stadium (where the Jets play) than the Jets, they have a commanding 1-0 lead. The Colts point differential is +31 and Peyton Manning has only thrown one interception in three games so far. Indy is 2-1 vs. the spread; the one loss was against Jacksonville +10.5 last week. The Jets defense isn’t anything special and this trip to New York won’t have any Peyton – Eli hype, the Colts will roll in this one.
  
  Miami -3.5 vs. HOUSTON – Neither of these teams have covered the spread through three weeks, not even once. I’ve picked Miami all three times and I’ve never taken the Houston “passed on Reggie Bush” Texans.
   Daunte Culpepper has been awful so far this year. He has driven Dolphin fans to chant for former Lions quarterback Joey Harrington. Yes, they are now at that level of crazy. Wow it must suck to be a Dolphin fan now. Sure they had the only undefeated team in NFL history, but they play in a half football half baseball stadium and have their entire playoff lives riding on a guy with one leg and a guy that play piano. Good luck.
   I’ve already used the only angle possible with the Texans, how insane they had to be not to take Bush. How that Dom Davis thing working out?
  
  ATLANTA -6.5 vs. Arizona – Although after three weeks everyone claims to know how to stop Michael Vick, I’m still picking the Falcons. Why? Well, let me ask you a question, who’s the quarterback for Arizona on Sunday? Yeah, I don’t know either.
   The Falcons are mad because they lost to destiny 23-3 on Monday night. They want their revenge; they want to play on a level playing field where the other team is riding an emotional high that could’ve beaten any team. Now, the Falcons will have the advantage at home in the dome on the turf, which is to Vick’s advantage because of his speed. Everything was going the wrong way for Atlanta against the Saints, now everything is in their favor, Atlanta rolls.
  
  San Francisco +7.5 vs. KANSAS CITY – The 49ers are 2-1 vs. the spread and one of the most improved teams in the league. They have an explosive offense and a quarterback with a head (sorry Trent Green). The Chiefs don’t have a quarterback with a head or a good defense. I think the Niners will win this outright.
  
  Minnesota +1.5 vs. BUFFALO – Minney clearly has the better team and the better coach. The Vikings are undefeated against the spread and should continue that streak if their offensive line can continue their success. Signing Steve Hutchinson is the number two off-season move this year, Adam Vinatieri to the Colts is still number one. Hutch has been as good as a big dude that moves other big dudes can be. He’s making Chester Taylor’s first chance at being a franchise back a cinch.
   The Vikings just signed former Michigan quarterback Drew Henson. That guy used to start over Tom Brady, now he wouldn’t start over John Navarre. He and Charles Rogers are two huge disappointments, more on Michigan amateur stars floundering later in the column.
   Buffalo just lost to the Jets at home. Did I mention their head coach is #### Jauron, yet? Oh, well it is. By the way, there isn’t an uglier football uniform than the throwback Bills, ugh.
  
  Dallas -9.5 vs. TENNESSEE – The Cowboys are in an odd position with the speculation of the alleged T.O. suicide. I seriously doubt its real, but really, who knows? The ‘Boys may be dealing with an attic to pain pills and their definitely dealing with a bona fide superstar, which one will we see on Sunday? And if he’s cleared to play, will they play him after an incident like this?
   I know that suicide is a very serious thing, but couldn’t you see an attack on T.O.? Yeah, it’d be setup like in Godfather part one where Don Vito is unprotected in the hospital and then Jeff Garcia sneaks up behind T.O. in the hospital room with chloroform. There are a lot of people you can substitute in for Jeff Garcia in this random made up scenario. Here’s the list: Donovan McNaab, Steve Mariucci, Drew Bledsoe, Terry Glenn, Bill Parcells and Andy Reid.
   Anyway, the Titans stink and supposedly, T.O. caught passes and practiced all this week. So, N.S. thinks the ‘Boys will cover.
  
  CINCINNATI -6.5 vs. New England – I hate betting against the Patriots. Really, I do. I think the Tom Brady – Bill Belichick combo is amazing. And even with that and the Bengals DUI troubles, I’m still going with the ‘Nati. If Cincy can go on the road and beat the Steelers, they can definitely take the Patriots at home. Carson Palmer is that good, their offensive is that good.
   Plus, did anyone see Tom Brady against the Broncos on Sunday night? He was awful. It wasn’t that his play looked so bad; it was that he looked so uninspired. It might be the Deion Branch thing (doubt it), but who really knows? I made the Golden Boy at home against the head case Jake Plummer my lock of the week and look where it got me.
   I just hope that Chad Johnson doesn’t run his mouth because the Patriots are the one team that really doesn’t fly with. Rodney Harrison will blast you and Belichick will make an example out of you. It’s just not a good idea.
   Speaking of Chad, where has he been? 137 yards and one touchdown so far isn’t what you expected out of that second round pick (and in some stupid cases first round). He only had 11 yards in week three against the Steelers, while Chris Henry and T.J. Whosyourmamma caught two touchdowns apiece. Oh the frustration, well Johnson owners deserve it after taking a wide receiver that high.
  
  Cleveland -2.5 vs. OAKLAND – I don’t want to be one of those idiots who suggest that the best college team could beat the worst professional team, but I think the Raiders are in the perfect situation to lose to a collegiate team. Ohio State last year, could’ve beaten the Raiders this year. OSU was stacked last year, one of the most talented teams ever put together. Here are the factors put into losing to a college team: The worst game coach in the league (Art Shell), mixed with no quarterbacks that throw the ball forward and really only two players that other teams would want this year (LaMont Jordan and Randy Moss). Think about it, who else do you want from this awful team?
   I think they would lose to this year’s Georgia Tech, who on the Raiders could cover Calvin Johnson? What about this year’s OSU and Ted Ginn Jr. or Notre Dame and Jeff Samardjiza or Michigan and Mario Manningham? Is Raiders starting cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha really ready for them? I don’t think so.
   Anyway, this is my lock of the week. I think Oakland is the worst team on the planet and if Cleveland plays half the game they played against the Ravens, they’ll roll the Raiders.
  
  Jacksonville -2.5 vs. WASHINGTON – It seems the NFC East has been vastly overrated by east coast bias and so was Al Saunders and his 700 page playbook. When you give a guy two million dollars to run your offense, you expect more than a 1-2 record against the spread. I think Washington is awful, they can’t beat anyone in their division and even though they have immense talent, their game plans are atrocious. Their calls on third downs are terrible, that goes for offense and defense. Also, they have by far the worst quarterback in their division in Mark Brunell, always tough to win the division with that. Brunell can’t play anymore. If they ‘skins are going to spend stupid money in the off-season anyway, why not spend it on Drew Brees? Instead of riding it out with the only thing that kept you out of the NFC Championship game last year. Nope, they really needed Brandon Lloyd and Antwaan Randle El so Brunell can under-throw them by five yards constantly.
   The Jaguars are one of the most underrated teams in the league. J-ville has a tremendous defense and an offense with two (three if Greg Jones didn’t get hurt) capable backs and three big, strong and fast wide receivers. I still don’t love Byron Leftwich, but this team is still really good and will knock off the ‘skins easy.
  
  CHICAGO -3.5 vs. Seattle – This is a big ‘I told you so’ moment. The Madden curse lives. Let’s go through the history: 2001 (Eddie George, 600 yard dropoff, 9 touchdown dropoff, first year under 1,000 yards), 2002 (Daunte Culpepper, 23 fumbles, more picks than touchdowns, 23 INTs), 2003 (Marshall Faulk, didn’t rush for 1,000 yards and hasn’t since), 2004 (Michael Vick, broken leg during pre-season), 2005 (Ray Lewis, hurt only played in 6 games), 2006 (McNaab, sports hernia only played in three games) and now 2007 (Shaun Alexander, couldn’t run for my predicted 200 against the Lions and now has a broken bone in his foot).
   Da Bears are the beneficiaries of the easiest schedule in the NFL, they will coast into the playoffs without having to struggle at all. Da Bears are going to cruise while other teams will have to scratch and claw to get there. This is one of their only big games, a primetime match up against a worthy opponent. This will be a big game and a big win for Da Bears.
  
  PHILADELPHIA -10.5 vs. Green Bay – Whenever a quarterback celebrates that much after scoring on the Lions, you know he’s lost his mind. Brett Favre and his whole persona don’t work on a losing team. He needs to be the reckless cowboy, gunslinger that he is at heart; you can’t be that at his age and on a losing team. It’s like he’s Vinney Testaverde now, but the Jets never had an obvious choice at quarterback to start the rebuilding process, like the Packers do in Aaron Rodgers. I can’t figure out which looks worse, Favre celebrating last Sunday or Rodgers waiting in the draft room for almost three hours after being the projected number one pick?
   The Packers made the worst free agent signing this off-season in Charles Woodson (seven years 52 million dollars). I think that money is too much to give to a guy like Champ Bailey; they gave it to basically a glorified nickel back with a Heisman Trophy. Since 2001, Woodson has had one season with more than one interception. Is that really what you look for out of the 52 million dollar man? I researched the bonuses and other factors in the contract and although it’s mostly with incentives, the incentives are on whether he’s able to get on the field, not how he plays on it. If he continues to suit up for 16 games a year, he will continue to make sick money. Michigan fans need to be like me with my Shockey situation, remember Woodson for the punt return against Ohio State in ’97 and the picture of him with the rose in his mouth on the cover of the Detroit News the next morning. Don’t remember him getting torched in pre-season by Carson Palmer, the prelude to a surefire terrible season for him and the Packers.
   The only Packer that will make more money this year beside Woodson is Favre. All their money is rapped up in a quarterback that threw 29 picks last year and a cornerback that played in six games last year. And we think Matt Millen should be fired. Packer GM Ted Thompson has really done a number on this squad. It’s
   Anyway, the Eagles have been good so far. They would be undefeated short of that big time choke job against my Giants in week 2. I like them big against the lowly Packers.
  
  Lock of the Week: Cleveland -2.5 vs. OAKLAND

The website I write for (sportsinferno.com) is for a radio show, The Sports Inferno. Mike Valenti, one of the co-hosts and a graduate of MSU, went off on the Spartans on Monday. It is one of the funniest things you will ever hear, start it at about 9 minutes through because there is an intro.

9/25/06, First Segment- Mike Reacts to MSU/ND

By the way, it's all over the country now. It's getting national exposure and getting passed from message board to message board.

Nick Shlain

I was watching the Angels - Rangers game because I'm in a tough fantasy race and I have Jered Weaver. Anyway, in the first inning with two men on long time Angel fan favorite Tim Salmon steps up to the plate. He has announced that he is retiring after the year so manager Mike Scoicia decided to start him and bat him third in the order because of sentimental reasons. After the long ovation, Salmon hit a three run home run and received a louder ovation. The look of joy on Salmon's face is something that I will never forget and I'm sure this is a moment he will remember for the rest of his life.

http://www.talentedmrroto.com/Article.aspx?art
icleid=16119&sport=nba

Read this story by my friend Tony Targan. He's a writer for talentedmrroto.com and the commisioner of my fantasy baseball league.

Is it coaching or is it Drew Stanton?

I go with the coaches 60% and Drew for 40%. The coaches should've kept with the gameplan on defense instead of backing off. They should've killed clock with Jehuu Caulcrick. They should be able to close out a lead that big. John L. Smith should've been fired after the awful finish last year anyway.

Then again, the coaches didn't throw 2 picks in the last four minutes. Drew coaked badly on Saturday and he should be grilled for it. He's the captain, the senior quarterback who everyone relies on in a time of need. And in that time of need, he gagged.

Who do you blame?

Nick Shlain

   The most entertaining part of week 2 was definitely the pre-game introductions for the Monday night game by Pittsburgh linebacker Joey Porter. Porter’s job was to introduce the defense and say a few comments about the players. Porter took it to another level; he showed a lot of his personality. Porter imitated comedian Dave Chappelle’s impression of politician Howard Dean. In Chappelle’s impression he imitates Dean saying, “B-yah!” after his pep rally-like speech after the first presidential primary. Porter was hilarious in his imitation. Its must see You Tube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLaIjz7jrLw).
  

Week two was a good week; I went 9-7 with my lock of the week (INDY –12.5). Even though I was over .500, I could have gone 13-3 easily. I made a bad mistake, three times. I took Cleveland +10.5, Tennessee+10.5 and Detroit +10.5. I took too many favorites in week one and went 6-10, so I took too many dogs in week two. I think I’ll get the hang of this thing by the trade deadline. Taking the opposite of those three and winning the Monday night game, would’ve given me 13-3.
   One of the main rules of gambling is never to bet on a team that you don’t think has a legitimate chance of winning, I violated that with all three of those picks. I didn’t really think any of them were going to win on the road against playoff bound teams, but I thought it would be closer and I was wrong. That was a stupid mistake.
  
  Anyway, let’s get to the game picks. As always, HOME teams in CAPS.
  

Green Bay +7.5 vs. DETROIT – The Lions really stunk up the joint last week. After guar-Roy-teeing a victory against the Chicago Bears prior to Sunday’s game, I thought I had seen the ceiling of stupidity. But, I was very wrong. There is nothing more dim witted than rubbing in a first down when your team is down 24 points, let alone that your being shutout at the same very moment. Roy claimed that it was stupid how the close the Lions offense was to scoring 40 points last week. No, Roy it wasn’t because the Lions offense didn’t even make the red zone last week. The most important touchdown is the first touchdown because until you get that, you don’t have any. But, what is stupid is that way you acted while trailing by so much. It’s okay for Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens to do touchdown dances because they actually score on those plays, and they usually do it when they are winning or at least when the game is close. You, on the other hand, decide to celebrate a first down in a game that was decided half way through the national anthem??? What, are you kidding?
  

Washington -3.5 vs. HOUSTON – The Redskins have serious problems with their team. Al Saunders’ 700 page playbook hasn’t produced enough offense so far and Mark Brunell stinks. Washington is 0-2 vs. the number, but it’s the Texans.
  
  Ny Jets +6.5 vs. BUFFALO – I see a tough hard-nosed game in this one. The over under is 34, no way it gets to that. Eric Mangini is one of the best young coaches in the league and should get the job done. Jets win this outright.
  
  Jacksonville +10.5 vs. INDIANAPOLIS – J-ville took Indy to the brink in of their meetings last year. J-ville’s defense is spectacular, they shutout Pittsburgh on Monday. This game could come down to the last play.
  
  Cincinnati +3.5 vs. PITTSBURGH – Cincy has one of the five best teams in the league, their offense is borderline unstoppable. Carson Palmer is healthy and the Bengals are set.
  
  MIAMI -6.5 vs. Tennessee – I hate the Dolphins because I’ve picked them both weeks and their 0-2 vs. the spread. I think they were way over hyped because of their good finish. I’m just not ready to get off the bandwagon just yet.
  
  MINNESOTA +3.5 vs. Chicago – Minny looked good against Carolina at home last week, they should have another good game in the dome again. I like Minny to win this outright in a low scoring black and blue game.
  
  Carolina -3.5 vs. TAMPA BAY – Steve Smith is back in practice and will start on Sunday. He can beat the Bucs by himself.
  
  Baltimore -6.5 vs. CLEVELAND – I wish Kellen Winslow Jr. would’ve run his mouth to Ray Lewis, that would make this a lock. Baltimore in a blowout, I don’t see the Browns scoring a touchdown.
  
  Ny Giants +3.5 vs. SEATTLE – The Giants are the best team not to be favored in a game so far this year. Eli Manning was awesome last week against Philly and it should continue against an average defensive backfield. By the way, the Madden curse and loss of Steve Hutchinson put me over the edge on this pick.
  
  SAN FANCISCO +7.5 vs. Philadelphia – San Fran is 2-0 vs. the spread; I’ve picked them both times. They have a good offensive line, Frank Gore and Alex Smith. Offensive coordinator Norv Turner is one of the best in the biz, he can’t coach though. Not to mention receiving weapons Antonio Bryant and Vernon Davis. The Niners offense is kind of stacked when you think about it.
  
  St. Louis +3.5 vs. ARIZONA – The Rams are statistically a terrible road team, I’m still taking them.
  
  NEW ENGLAND -6.5 vs. Denver – The Pats, even without Deion Branch, are in a much better situation than the Broncos. I’m not going to pick Jake Plummer unless there are some extreme circumstances.
  
  Atlanta -3.5 vs. NEW ORLEANS – I’m now a believer in Michael Vick, who I thought was incredibly overrated. I was wrong, he’s for real and he’s killed me. He’s been awful against Carolina and Tampa Bay (division rivals) in the recent past and just dominated both of them this year, who knew?
  
  Lock of the week: NEW ENGLAND -6.5 vs. Denver
  
  Season: 15-17
  Last Week: 9-7
  Locks: 1-1
  Lion Games: 0-2

Unhappy family? Yankees give A-Rod tough love

You have to check this story out, it's unbelievable. Jason Giambi tells Joe Torre to get tough with A-Rod and stop coddling him. Joe didn't, so Giambi took his roid rage and did it himself.  "You [expletive] call those hits?" Giambi said, according to SI. "You had two [expletive] dinkers to right field and a ball that bounced over the third baseman! Look at how many pitches you missed! When you hit three, four or five [in the order], you have to get the big hits, especially if they're going to walk Bobby [Abreu] and me. I'll help you out until you get going. I'll look to drive in runs when they pitch around me, go after that 3-and-1 pitch that might be a ball. But if they're going to walk Bobby and me, you're going to have to be the guy."

Giambi needs to shut up, he hasn't hit a home run since 8-20, when he hit two against Boston in the five game sweep. Not to mention that the end of september isn't the right time to be ####ing out the starcrossed third basemen.

Then, A-Rod responded with this quote thats is just pure ignorance and him acting as if he;s sooo much better than Giambi. "[Mike] Mussina doesn't get hammered at all," A-Rod told SI. "He's making a boatload of money. Giambi's making [$20.4 million], which is fine and dandy, but it seems those guys get a pass. When people write [bad things] about me, I don't know if it's [because] I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team ..."

I like A-Rod and his .286, 34 HRs and 116 RBI, but this is no time to fire back at Giambi because he's a fool. This is a time to get work in with Donnie and get ready for the playoffs. That's what the team shoul be concerned with know.

By the way, notice how Derek Jeter isn't mentioned in any of this, I bet he won't even respond to this because he's so much above it and so concerned with the TEAM and not with A-ROD. Yankees need to get their mind right. I've had enough of A-Rod's baggage.

Peter Gammons will be back on ESPN on Wednesday night. Gammons, who suffered a brain aneurysm in late June, will be on the 6 p.m. ET edition of SportsCenter and the 7 p.m. ET edition of Baseball Tonight. He will report from Fenway Park. Gammons isn't returning to work full-time. An ESPN spokesman said that future appearances will be scheduled as Gammons is comfortable.

This by far the best news I've heard all day. Not even close. He's the best in the biz, it'll be great to have him back.

Gammons had been a main stay in the baseball world for many years and having the trade deadline without him was like having Christmas without Santa. Last year’s trade deadline came on the same day as the baseball hall of fame induction. Gammons’ acceptance speech for the J. G. Spinks Award (given to writers, along with their hall of fame induction) is one of the best things he has ever written. Lines like ‘Because I am human, I have the right to like people, but because I have integrity, I have no right to dislike anyone’ show what kind of person (a great one) Peter is. Lines like ‘I’ve had more conversations with fellow writer Jason Stark over trades that never happened, than I’ve even had with my own wife’ show how long he has been on the job. 

Everyone thought that Peter was going to get a message from a General Manager on his cell phone and break a trade during his speech, which would’ve capped off a the best hall of fame speech I’ve every heard, but he didn’t. What he did do was break down trades on ESPN minutes after the entire presentation was finished. Even on his special day, he gave his best to his work, that’s classic Gammons.