In an effort to quell fan unrest in the wake of a ticket price hike and a flurry domestic abuse charges, the Steelers have announced a 'wifebeater' t-shirt giveaway for the first 5,000 fans at each home game in 2008.   The shirts sport the Iron City beer and team logo.

"While we try to maintain good relations with the city, recent events have given us a black eye," said a team spokesman.    "We are used to being well thought of in this town, and we are not accustomed to taking this kind of abuse in public."

For more information, go to www.thisisnottrue.com/hoax

With Mahan a weak spot,  I was really hoping they'd resign Faneca and move him to center. It would prolong his career, to boot.  But odds are that will not happen, and the Steelers better hope that last year's bust Laurence Timmons (OLB) can learn the 3-4 enough to be productive because it looks like they have no choice but to go after a big OT in the draft (Jeff Otah from Pitt has been mentioned).   In addition, maybe move Simmons to center and try to squeeze Mahan to OG. Another possibility is Keydrick Vincent, a former Steeler who's been with the Ravens lately and is a UFA. If the Steelers don't sign Essex, that is a tip that they plan to draft an OT after all.

A DB / Kick Returner would be nice in round or 3. Alan Rossum was not the answer, and that little WR we drafted from Florida 2 years ago in the second round has been worthless. Worthless Willie Reid. That's catchy.

Justin Smith (DE, Bengals) is available for less-than-top-dollar and he is a good fit, in the von Olhoffen mode.

All this, of course, while the Steelers are trying to sign Ben to an extension. You get the feeling that, once that's done, we'll see how much $ is left for free-agency, and that will determine what they draft and what, if anything, they try to buy. That Starks was signed so quickly (before Ben) tells me that Pittsburgh knows that, for a playoff team, they have a lot of holes to fill.

Was that Nick Lachey in Texas Stadium yesterday, wearing a pink Eli Manning jersey?  God, I hope so.

Eli should take a day in Cabo and prep for the Packers....

Sincerely,

Brett Favre

I submit for your consideration one Matt Hasselbeck, quarterback for an NFL team in the Pacific Northwest. A good quarterback on a good team, Matt has never won a playoff game on the road, but he is about to try again. He knows his defense can bring pressure on Favre. He knows he has good receivers and can be effective passing the ball, but what he doesn't know is whether it be enough. Matt is about to learn that in a world of myriad dimenstions, one is not enough, and by the time this contest is over, instead of the end zone, they'll find themselves … in the Twilight Zone.

Green Bay 30 Seattle 12

Every Goliath meets his David, every Sampson, his Delilah. But Jacksonville is neither lightly regarded nor pretty. Meet the Jaguars, who are traveling to New England with a chip on their shoulder and a bag full of confidence. But in this arena, a bag of confidence is just an empty bag, and the chip a worthless piece of plastic that they'd traded for luck just the week before. You're about to see a team that learns the hard way that it's difficult to whistle past the graveyard when you've had the wind knocked out of you … in the Twilight Zone.

New England 38 Jacksonville 16

This is Ladanian Tomlinson, a tough, graceful player on a tough, graceful team that seems destined to find ways to fail just when things are going their best. For this loveable loser in the powder blue jersey, his next chance to change his legacy forever and for better is in the hands of a new coach, one whom no one has every thought to coin a phrase like 'Martyball'. But LT is coming up against a force bigger than just the Colts defense. His team is about to square off with an opponent whose legacy is no longer in question, and sometimes the questions are easier to handle than the answers … in the Twilight Zone.

Indy 27 San Diego 24

Jessica Simpson was an unremarkable girl with acne, living an unremarkable life in an unremarkable town. Tony Romo was an unremarkable quarterback biding his time waiting for his turn in the spotlight. Even though they'd never met, both would achieve stardom beyond their wildest imaginations, both for talent and for blunders. Jessica, for thinking tuna was chicken, and Tony for, well, bobbling a snap on a game-winning kick in his first playoff game. Put Jessica and Tony in the same stadium, wearing the same jersey, at the same time, and the formula is one that can only work … in the Twilight Zone.

UPSET SPECIAL

New York 23 Dallas 17

Last Week 11-5 Season 151 - 104 (end of regular season)

Wild Card Playoffs

SAT, JAN 05

Redskins at Seahawks 4:30 PM NBC

Seattle is a tough out at home with their 12th man advantage, but this year the Redskins are bringing the 12th man with them. In the first game of what looks to be the best wild-card weekend in recent memory, look for the Skins to contain Matt Hasselbeck when he's on the field and use Portis to effectively keep him off it. Call it the '21 effect', but the Redskins improbable and inspiring run will take them on to Dallas. Note to Joe Gibbs. Remember that Antwaan Randle-El can throw a pretty nice deep ball. Maybe late third quarter, just after you cross mid-field … I would run that play just to see the look on Holmgren's face.

Washington 23 Seattle 20

Jaguars at Steelers 8:00 PM NBC

On paper, Pittsburgh has no chance to win this game. As a team they have played badly for most of the past month, and iffy for the month before that. The are missing 5 or 6 key starters (is there any OTHER kind?) and many others are significantly ####ed up, including wheelhouse cogs like Ben and Pileamoolah. The team ranks at or near the bottom in pass protection, and this week there will be a backup-backup tackle (Essex) protecting Ben's blind side and a backup tackle on the other side. This, versus the team that literally shredded the Steelers for their only home loss in 2007 just a few weeks ago. To get the Pittsburgh out of round 1 will take a masterpiece of strategy and execution. The game therefore becomes a referendum on Coach Mike Tomlin's rookie season. Thus far, Tomlin has lost every game in which he has come up against a 'genius' coach or a team with a winning record, and there were even a couple of losses where neither condition was present. So, a rematch with Jacksonville offers a chance at redemption. How this team responds will reflect Tomlin's impact on the squad.

A fast start is imperative for Pittsburgh, and it will need to come via the pass because that's where most of the remaining talent is on offense right now. In the last game, a 29-22 loss at home 3 weeks ago, Jacksonville dominated both lines of scrimmage, but it was STILL a close game, especially if the Steelers find a way to avoid gift-wrapping two touchdowns, one courtesy of Anthony 'Guarantee' Smith. Lost in the debris from that game is this -- Jacksonville brought their absolute tip-top best 'A' game that day, controlled both lines, and Pittsburgh still almost pulled that game out. For the Steelers, this can be done, if done right.

Jaggers RB Fred Taylor has been complaining loudly about having to come back to Heinz because the field stinks. "A lawsuit waiting to happen," were his exact words. Doesn't sound to me like someone who's concerned about winning the game. I think THEY think they've ALREADY won. I know this is a hopeless homer pick, and my head tells me the Steelers have no shot, but I'm going with my heart and saying Pittsburgh lives to play another day.

Steelers 24 Jaggers 20

SUN, JAN 06

Giants at Buccaneers 1:00 PM FOX

The Giants have failed to get out of the first round of the playoffs in their last three attempts. Although they are on the road in this one, they are pretty healthy and come off an impressive near win against New England in the season finale. The Bucs are probably the best team in the league that no one knows about this year. Look for the Bucs defense to frustrate Eli Manning while the Buc offense patiently waits for the short field scores. There seems to be one big thing that Eli is destined to share with his older brother -- they will suffer numerous playoff setbacks before the needed consistency of play evolves. As his play against New England last week showed, the younger Manning is almost there. Almost. But in this first round, almost will be enough to get it done. New York should be able to avoid serving up the short field that Tampa needs, and the Giant pass rush will contain and corral Garcia.

New York 27 Tampa 17

Titans at Chargers 4:30 PM CBS

Both of these teams have looked unbeatable at times this season, and pathetic at others. In the playoffs, momentum coming out of the regular season is critical, and in that area the Chargers are just hitting their stride. This should be an intense, physical game on defense with LT and Vince Young providing most of the excitement. Chargers are still a T.O. away from winning a super bowl, but they'll get out of round one in good shape.

Chargers 24 Tites 10

In his weekly press conference, Coach Mike Tomlin admitted the famed Steel Curtain was in need of an extreme makeover. "Feng-shui, a valance, cornice, a hem, everything is on the table," he said. "While we realize the emotional appeal of a chic, solid pattern, this goes well beyond the face fabric. Kudos to Jacksonville, they really pounded out a French pleat on us Sunday, they pinched the stackback and probably bent the rods on top of that. This is not a curtain that Pittsburghers are used to seeing. We know this is not apropos. We need to get our esprit de corps back. Our, nomme de guerre, if you will."

He conceded that, with two games left in the season and his first pro team very much in the AFC playoff picture, the short week may not leave enough time, even for window dressing. "We noticed a definite draft after the New England game, and now after the Jaguars' visit you can see daylight from head to hem -- I mean, tout le monde. Honestly, the whole place is a disaster now, but like any designer worth his pins we'll start with the curtain. Hopefully, we'll be ready to have company after the holidays."

==============================================
==================

After watching the game recap again on the NFL channel, I can't say I'm thrilled but this was a superior effort by Jacksonville, aided once again, unfortunately, by the now-famous-for-all-the-wrong-reasons Anthony Smith. This time, though, with the Jags running the ball the way they were, it is easier to see why he bit on so many play-fakes. With Pileamoolah back, AS will be on the bench.

No need to be (overly) depressed after losing to the Pats and Jags. They are the best at the pass and run, respectively, that I've seen in a while and they may end up playing in the AFC title game. If they Jags bring their A game they would blow up New England's front seven. I also see a bit of the "win it for The Bus" thing going on in J-ville, with the way that team feels about Fred Taylor and how he has put the team on his back this year. This may be their year. So be it. The Steelers can still get another chance at one or both of those teams.

Which brings us to the Rams. No one but Anthony Smith would say this, but the Rams are not the Pats or the Jags, and I don't care if they have their players back healthy again or how many Steelers are limping around the locker room, Pittsburgh needs to dispatch the Rams convincingly Thursday night and then rest up for the finale at Baltimore. Cleveland is not going to lose, so 11-5 is required.

To do this, they must get off to a quick start. The playoffs start tonight.

Steelers 34 Rams 23

Last Week 10-6 Season 131 - 92

Week 16

THU, DEC 20

Steelers at Rams

Steeler nation floods sports bars coast to coast thanks to NFL network. Pitt

SAT, DEC 22

Cowboys at Panthers

Panthers coming off upset of Seattle can't make it two in a row, even with Owen's mouth. Dallas

SUN, DEC 23

Browns at Bengals

Bengals road loss to SF signals a dispirited bunch ready to roll over for Believeland. Cleve

Eagles at Saints

Rematch of the game that took Reggie Bush off the highlight reels. Eagles D still playing. Phil

Giants at Bills

Giants' behemoth collapse will throw the NFC wide open. Buff

Packers at Bears

No offense to (from) Bears who can only offer some resistance. Pack

Raiders at Jaguars

Now we'll see if the Jags are a 'play to the level of your opponent' team. Jax

Chiefs at Lions

Two teams resemble experiments gone horribly wrong. Chefs better fundamentals … KC

Texans at Colts

Colts begin resting starters and let Texans hang around. Houston

Buccaneers at 49ers

Bucs could spoil a lot of parties this playoffs.. TB

Falcons at Cardinals

Atlanta should be awarded a bye. AZ

Jets at Titans

Tites still have a chance and won't throw it away here. Tenn

Dolphins at Patriots

Can fish make it 2 in a row? Can they scramble NE's goose-egg in the loss column? What, R U nuts? NE

Ravens at Seahawks

Two teams coming off what may be the most embarrassing losses of 2007. Seattle

Redskins at Vikings

I like the way the skins are playing. Wash

MON, DEC 24

Broncos at Chargers

Chargers finally put the horses down. SD

God Bless Us, Everyone.

Now look-it, I say, lookie here son, pay attention when I'm a'talkin' to ya. (Nice kid, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice…) Now look, son. Your game plans remind me of Paul Revere's ride … a little light in the belfry. Don't let that Belichek guy bother you, son, he's like a tatoo -- gets under your skin. Why, if he don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned. All that stuff about finding him the whole Steeler secondary inviting, well he's about as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel of oatmeal. Although your guys covered about as much as Paris Hilton's skirt in a high wind. You got to look at the BRIGHT SIDE, son! You moved the pig pretty well against them, but when ya get all razzle-dazzle in the red zone and don’t get 6 points, well it leaves everybody colder than a nudist on an iceberg. I mean, you're doing a lot of choppin' but they ain't no chips flyin' … say, is any of this filtering through that little black cap of yours, son? You're a good coach and all, but when you go up against Belichek and Shanahan you outthink yourself and end up looking about as sharp as a bowling ball.

Now you got Jacksonville coming to town, and that team is strong as an ox and just about as smart. You got to man up and get a win this week if you wanna ever have a chance for a re-match with New England. I guarantee Belichek would be more fidgety than a balloon dancer with slow leak if he sees you guys coming to town again. You might want to tell that safety of yours to shut his pie hole, though. Nice kid, but about as sharp as a pound of wet liver. Oh, uh, one more thing. If the Jags blow up that patchwork defense of yours, you might want to keep your feathers numbered, for just such an emergency.

====================================

This game is trouble. The Jags have always been tough on Pittsburgh. They play a very physical game, the type we have not seen from the Steelers themselves often enough this year, whether by design or by injury. Speaking of injuries, DE Aaron Smith is the latest, out for the season. While not a household name, Smith is an ideal lineman in the 3-4, a high-motor run stopper who draws double teams and frees up linebackers to find the ball. Troy Pile-a-moolah is back for the first time in 3 games, and that, plus the bad footing, should help slow down the Jags cutback running game. It had better. Steelers season could collapse with a loss.

Pittsburgh 19 Jacksonville 16 (OT)

Last Week 12-4 Season 121 - 87

THU, DEC 13

By now I'm sure 'The Guarantee' is everywhere, so I won't copy it here.  What you may not know is the guarantee is pro-rated -- kind of like the guarantee you get with a car battery or a set of tires.  If your battery dies 35 months into a 36-month guarantee, you get reimbursed 1/36th the price of the battery.     In Smith's case, the longer the game goes, the less the guarantee is worth, until the game ends, and the guarantee is worthless.

Simple.   Like Smith's brain.  OK, enough of that.

 I can definitely guarantee Smith will cost the Steelers at least 30 yards in penalties on Sunday.  Yes, and I said 6 weeks ago Pitt would beat them on Dec 9. I think they can do it, and I still think they will. But in the long run, it might be better if they did not.

Here's 10 reasons why:

10. In 2004 (Ben's rookie season) the Stillerz pounded the 7-0 Pats in Pittsburgh. Later that season, NE came in and wiped out the Steelers in the AFC title game, also in Pittsburgh. This season could be a replay in reverse.

9. A Steeler win on Sunday would relieve the Pats of the constantly building pressure of going undefeated. Tensions are rising on the Pats. Not that I feel sorry for them, but getting the 'Perfect' #### off their backs might actually help them to the Super Bowl.

8. A Steeler win on Sunday would almost certainly inflate their opinion of themselves, something that has been a problem for this bunch as long as I can remember.  Exhiibit A is Steeler BACKUP safety Anthony Smith, all full of himself because we beat 4-7 Cincy. 

7. With a 12-4 finish, the Steelers will likely be the #3 seed in the AFC. The bye week (#1 or #2 seed) is extremely unlikely. Even if they win out, the Steelers do not control their destiny.

6. Assuming we MIGHT meet the Pats in the playoffs, it is too much to ask of Mike Tomlin that he outcoach Big Brains Bellichek twice in his rookie season. The guy might be 8-3, but it took him 11 games to win his first coach's challenge. See #8.

5. Some people think that because the Eagles and Ravens took the Pats to the wire the past 2 weeks, the Steelers should be able to beat them because they have a better record than either of those 2. Football is a collection of individual matchups working in the context of a scheme, and success by the Eagles or Ravens does not translate into success for the Steelers. It is more likely that the Pats are getting worn down by the Perfect Grindstone, and they played to (almost) down to the level of their opponents. As well as the Steelers are capable of playing, the Patriots will play.

4. Yes, the Patriots are smug, and everyone is sick of hearing about them, and everyone (even Dallas fans) will be pulling for Pittsburgh to win or at least knock a steaming pile out of Tom Brady. No argument there.

Come to think of it, I can't think of 10 reasons. I can think of a few reasons Pittsburgh WILL win, though.

1. The statistics, while often lies in numeric form, point to a match-up of the Number 1 offense in 4 categories against the Number 1 defense IN THOSE SAME CATEGORIES. The Pats may indeed blow out the Steelers, but on paper, this will be the toughest challenge of the year for both teams.

2. The Jets/Miami stretch aside, the Steelers offense has made progress in balancing their attack so that they are not so predictable when an opponent jams the line of scrimmage with 8 or 9 men to stop the run. 'Stop the run, stop the Steelers' ain't necessarily true any more. That said, the Steelers offensive line will need to bring their A-game and the Steelers can and must run the damn ball right at (and around) the Patriots.

3. Big Ben's Big Feet. He has kept drives alive with well-timed scrambles, something new in his arsenal. New England will have to give up something defensively in order to keep containment. Will the offense be able to find it in time?

4. The officials. That was NOT a touchdown that beat the Ravens on Sunday. Yes, it never should have come to that, but if there are a lot of Pat-friendly calls in this game, it will be a huge disappointment, so I expect a well-officiated contest, which will favor the Steelers getting away with a few.

The Pick: Patriots 23 Steelers 27

With a 'wintry mix' in the forecast, the Pats will go for the quick strike early and have success. But, as he so often does, #### LeBeau will make the adjustments on defense and the Steelers will claw back into the game and use a defensive score to ruin the Pats bid for a perfect season. Miami's perfect season, though, is looking like a lead-pipe lock.

Last Week 9-7 Season 109 - 83

THU, DEC 06

As a lifelong Steeler fan, I thought my mood swings and roller coaster emotions on Fall Sundays were normal. That was before I was diagnosed with ASSFTS -- Advanced Seasonal Steeler Fan Tourette's Syndrome. I guess I've had it as long as I can remember, but I didn't experience the full-blown symptoms until last week. The trigger, according to my doctor, was the November 18 loss to the 1-8 New York Jets. The next day I found myself barking obscenities and going off on tangents … like this:

Co-worker: Good Morning!

Me: Sixteen *&^%ing points against the %^&%ing WORST ^%#@ing run defense in the *&%@ing league!

Or this:

Co-worker: Can you make the project meeting at 3?

Me: *&^#.

I began to notice something was seriously *&^#ing wrong, but it wasn't until the next week, when the *&^#ing Steelers needed a field goal with 17 *&^#ing seconds left to beat the *^%#ing 0-10 Dolphins THREE to *&^#ing NOTHING that I finally decided to *&%#ing do something about it. I talked to my doctor, and he said Trinotwatchin (tm). Trinotwatchin is a new prescription specifically for people with ASSFTS, and its been clinically demonstrated to possibly reduce the severity of ASSFTS.

Like any prescription, Trinotwatchin is not for everyone. A number of patients reported certain side effects, such as sleeplessness, irritability, weight gain, lethargy, drowsiness, and weight loss. Men with latent, uh, 'tendencies' should avoid Trinotwatchin. While women who may become pregnant have reported benefits from Trinotwatchin, women who are already pregnant don't seem to care either way. For best effect, Trinotwatchin should be used only during the Fall and Winter months, when outbreaks are most likely to occur.

If you are one of the millions who suffer ASSFTS every Fall, you should try it. Go ahead. Trinotwatchin. Ask your *&^#ing doctor.

==============================================
===========================================

I never was any good at taking my doctor's advice, and I'll be watching this Sunday when the Steelers begin their march toward the playoffs as they have in recent years, with a home loss to the Bengals in late November. Fantasy Football buffs will want to scramble to the T.J. Houchmanzadayadayada on their team and avoid the rush. He's a Steeler killer, and this year will be no different.

Bengals 31 Steelers 20

*&^#.

Last Week 7-9 Season 100 - 76

Week 13

THU, NOV 29

Packers at Cowboys

In the NFC, there's these 2, and everybody else. I think Dallas is a little bit better, and they'll meet again anyway. Dallas

SUN, DEC 02

Chargers at Chiefs

Chargers get the green light to take the AFC West. Plenty of time to get their act together. SD

Falcons at Rams

Going with the Rams here, and there is no reason at all why. StL

Texans at Titans

Texans lost a great chance in Cleveland last week. Maybe Bengals romp over Tites says something is wrong. Houston

Bills at Redskins

I don't believe in pride picks, but the Skins are the better team. A moment of silence, please. Wash

Jets at Dolphins

Fins win!!! Fins win!!!! There will be no perfectly imperfect team in the NFL this year. Miami

Lions at Vikings

Not picking against the Vikes again. Minn

Jaguars at Colts

This game goes a long way deciding the 2nd seed in AFC Playoffs… Jags

Seahawks at Eagles

Hawks playing well will catch Philly a little drawn after taking Pats to the limit. Seattle

49ers at Panthers

Niners, having broken an 8-game skid last week, have the momentum. What does that tell you about the Panthers? SF

Broncos at Raiders

Raiders can really cripple Broncos with a win here, but that won't happen. Broncos

Browns at Cardinals

Can the Browns go west and win? Nah. Cards

Buccaneers at Saints

Bucs are the better team this year. Saints can only beat up on bad teams. Bucs

Giants at Bears

Giants are sliding fast, but no, I refuse to think the Bears can make the playoffs. Giants

Bengals at Steelers

Steelers bogged down, for the love of peat, and the future is muddy. Bengals get some traction, finally. Cincy

MON, DEC 03

Patriots at Ravens

Philly showed how to run with the Pats. Score points. Defensively, Pats are not that good. But the Ravens can't score. Pats

Last Week 10-6 Season 93 - 67

THU, NOV 22

Packers at Lions 12:30 A-reem-a-la, a-REEM-a-la, the lion sleeps tonight … Pack

Jets at Cowboys 4:15 In a novel concept, Cowboys will do a Patriot Game on the Jets … Dallas

Colts at Falcons 8:15 Suddenly injured Colts fall to the Falcons.. Has Vick lifted the curse by going to jail? Atl

SUN, NOV 25

Saints at Panthers They might be CALLED Saints, but they play like hell … Panthers win their first home game this year.

Vikings at Giants I can't pick the Vikings right… Giants

Redskins at Buccaneers Surging Bucs will find the visiting natives stubborn.. Skins

Raiders at Chiefs I can't pick the Raiders right, either. … Chiefs

Texans at Browns I'm going to take the Texans here over a real good and suddenly lucky Brown team.. Hou

Titans at Bengals Tites are suddenly loosening up … Bengals

Bills at Jaguars Jags. Bills look to next year.

Seahawks at Rams Rams. Seattle is good but not THAT good this year.

49ers at Cardinals Cards. The NFC west is getting wild. Bad, but wild.

Broncos at Bears OK, maybe Denver is going to take the west after all. Denver

Ravens at Chargers Chargers getting dissed (get it???) the Dissed-Chargers ???? I kill me. SD

Eagles at Patriots Pats. 38-7.

MON, NOV 26

Dolphins at Steelers Pitt. 38-7.