Godzilla is affectionatly known as the "King of the Monsters." Over the years, he has been virtually ageless and has an amazing 28 films under his belt. He also happens to be a close frined of mine. Godzilla has been wanting to get some things off of his chest for some time. When he found out that I had a blog, he asked me to write a post about him. Due to his poor grammar and complete lack of typing skills, he dictated much of what he wanted to say to me and I edited it.

For those of you unfamiliar with this global icon, let me tell you a bit about his background. Godzilla is a radioactive mega-lizard from Southeast Asia. It is believed that his power comes from radioactivity produced by the nuclear attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki during WWII, but this has never been proven. He has aquired many homes across the world, but usually resides underwater a few miles off the coast of Tokyo. His real name is Gojira, which directly translates into ####-Whale in Japanese. Due to this unflattering translation, he prefers to go by Godzilla, as it is much more terrifying. He stands approximately 150 ft tall and weighs near 20,000 tons (of course, this was his city-destroying weight. It is rumored that he may weigh several more tons today). He doesn't put up with much, and as you can imagine, quite a few things #### him off. Here are a few of them.

1. Godzilla hates Kobe Bryant.

Godzilla spent a few years living in Hollywood during the peak of his acting career; and while there, he became a big Lakers fan. After following the Lakers for nearly 50 years, he says that his all-time favorite Lakers players were Wilt Chamberlain (he remembers partying with Wilt), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (he considers him to be the greatest "giant" player ever), Magic Johnson (because he says that Magic was a small guy that could play like the giants of the league), and Shaquille O'Neal (for obvious reasons). His favorite teams were the championship years of recent past that were coached by Phil Jackson. He was very outraged when the Lakers traded O'Neal to Miami. Godzilla was never much of a Kobe fan. He already couldn't forgive Kobe for those airballs in the playoffs. He blamed Bryant for running the big fella out of town. Godzilla is currently using his connections and doing his best to convince Jerry Buss to trade Kobe Bryant. Godzilla has gone on to say that if Kobe is in a Lakers jersey next season, he may have to eat him.

2. Godzilla hates Paris Hilton.

Godzilla used his fire-breathe to destroy a brand new plasma TV in a fit of rage after finding out that Paris Hilton might be released early from prison. He feels that if she had suffered a rough upbrining living in the ghettos of the Pacific ocean like he did, she would appreciate how good she has it and wouldn't be such a ####. His long acting career has given him a knack for recognizing talent. Godzilla has said that there is more talent in the toenail clippings in his bathroom trashcan than Paris Hilton has in her whole body. Godzilla admits that though he is trying to turn from his old violent ways, he has thought about eating Paris Hilton many times. He has confrimed, however, that should he terrorize another major metropolis, he will be sure to take out at least one Hilton hotel first.

 3. Godzilla hates Verizon wirless. 

Godzilla was just looking for reliable wirless service. The guy at Radio Shack assured him that Verizon was the most reliable. Godzilla gets great reception in Paris, LA, New York, Sydney, and Tokyo, with little problem. But the minute he goes into the ocean, his phone drops a call. Godzilla once sat on the subway for four hours on hold with tech support in an effort to resolve the problem, only to be told that Verizon service does not work underwater and the company has no intention of broadening their service to cover remote parts of the Pacific ocean. What pissed Godzilla off the most is that the tech support guy spoke broken English and had very heavy East Indian accent, despite being named "Craig." Everytime Godzilla sees one of those Verizon ads, he wants to punch that guy with the glasses in the face (Can you hear me NOW, ####!).

 4. Godzilla hates Arena Football.

 Godzilla's favorite sport to watch is football. He's a New York Giants fan (go figure), and though he has an honorary degree from USC (which he considers his favorite NCAA football school), he can't get enough of the NFL. He says that his most prized possessions are his son, his movies, and his NFL Sunday Ticket package from DirecTV. He loves nearly everything about the NFL; the hits, the complex playbooks, the cheerleaders. His love for the NFL and NCAA games has caused him to have quite a bit of contempt for Arena football. He has a hard time grasping the fact that anyone would want to make anything smaller, let alone the football field. He feels that the AFL attempted to take the most flashy parts of football and tried to make a game purely out of those aspects. He feels that it leads to an over-scoring, watered down run-fest full of guys that were backyard football legends, but never had enough talent to play in the NFL. When the AFL first began, he wrote it off as a fad. He's even more pissed to know that its still around.

 5. Godzilla hates commercials for feminine products that air during sporting events.

 Contrary to the 1992 film, which was created without Godzilla's permission (a licensing loop-hole prevented him from stopping the film's production), Godzilla is not a female. Therefore, Godzilla does not want care that your deordorant is as strong as a man's. He doesn't care how young your mascara makes you look. And he sure as hell doesn't want to know how absorbent feminine hygene prodcuts can be. There's a channel for women's programming and Godzilla doesn't know where it is because he wouldn't let the cable guy leave the house until it was deleted from his cable line-up.

 6. Godzilla hates Charles Barkley.

Godzilla says that he usually turns the channel during halftime of NBA games that are broadcast on TNT, mostly due to his disdain for Charles Barkley. He believes that they need to replace Barkley with Magic Johnson becuase he feels that Chuck's integrity of the game is weak due to Barkley never leading a team to an NBA championship. The real reason may lie in past encouters with Sir Charles. Pop culture fans may remember that the two played a game of 1-on-1 for a Nike-commercial in which Barkley slam dunks in the face of the King of Monsters. Many think this dramatically effected the public's view of Godzilla's basketball abilities. Even after many showboat games at New York's renowned Rucker Park basketball court and a brief stint with the Harlem Globetrotters, many still believe that Godzilla is an inferior player to Barkley.

 7. Godzilla hates parking downtown.

Godzilla lives mainly in the ocean, but when he visits his winter homes in the southern US, he is in the suburbs. Every once in a while, a guy needs to handle some business downtown. Nothing #### off Godzilla more than driving all the way downtown for an appoitnment, only to find out that he has to park at a meter. Godzilla can parrallel park, but he has issue with only getting 8 minutes for a quarter when he's gonna be away from his car for at least an hour. Godzilla once bit a boot off of his car instead of paying the ticket. Because of this, he needs to make sure that he's never pulled over in Memphis.

8. Godzilla hates Sammy Sosa.   

Godzilla wants to know why this guy is still in the league. He figures that Sosa would've been smart enough to bow out like Palmiero and McGwire did once people began to sniff the steroids. Godzilla says he hates nothing more than a cheater. He understands the urge to use illegal substances in order to gain an advantage. His former close friend, Ghidorah, was found to be using illegal steroids. Godzilla convinced him that he should stop and Ghidorah went into a deep depression. Godzilla supported him through the downward spiral and helped him get back on his feet. Despite all of the gracious charity, Ghidorah started a rumor that Godzilla provided him with the drugs. After a lengthy investigation, Godzilla was cleared of all charges and it turned out that Ghidorah was covering for his dealer, Greg Anderson. What were we talking about, again? Oh yeah, Godzilla hates Sosa.  

9. Godzilla hates Macintosh computers.

He hates the ads even more. People that gets Macs because they're trendy REALLY #### him off. Godzilla was downtown one day and decided to stop in at the local library to work on a script he was writing. But when he got to the public computers, all of the PCs were taken and all that was left were Macs. Godzilla had never used a Mac and is not a big fan of change, but he figured he'd give the sleek, trendy iMac a chance. It took him almost 10 minutes to find a USB port for his flash drive on the damned thing. Then, when he opened the file in MS Word, it was a ####ized version of the MS Office he used at home. Godzilla tried to keep his cool. But when he tried to right-click and found that there was only one mouse button, he lost it. He ate the Mac and shot lasers out of his eyes, destroying the circulation desk before he was escorted from the building.

10. Godzilla hates horse racing.

 Godzilla used to be a huge fan of horse racing. Then in the late 70s, after he overcame his gambling addiction, he decided that horse racing was ridiculous. Horse racing is constantly mentioned among sports such as footbal, basketball, hockey, and tennis. The horses are considered "athletes." Godzilla thinks this is absolute ####. He believes that horce racing is being glamorized as a sport in an effort to hide the fact that the only people that care are the ones who have placed a bet on the race. Godzilla has dared the Kentucky Derby to go one year without allowing bets to see how thier attendance and viewership is effected. They have not replied to his emails. 

It's all over. The NBA Finals have come to an anticlimactic halt, and the San Antonio Spurs have rightfully been named the champions. The NBA Draft is not for a couple more weeks. So what does an NBA fan have to look forward to? Trade talk. It's all we've got until the Draft, and it's also going to need to carry us for most of the summer after the Draft, until we can reasonably begin fantasy football drafts.

Okay. So let's talk about trades. Everyone has their own speculations about where Kevin Garnett will, or should begin the 2007-2008 season. And recently, Kobe Bryant has stolen the spotlight by demanding a trade. But these aren't the only players that may be purchasing new real estate acorss the nation. The following are a few trades that I believe should happen, but when have any GMs ever listened to me?

#1: Los Angeles Lakers trade Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom to the New Jersey Nets for Jason Kidd and Vince Carter.
Does this sound like too much of a blockbuster deal to come true? The Lakers would receive one of the best and smartest point guards in the league in Jason Kidd. I beleive that assistant coach Tex Winter's famed Triangle Offense could add a couple of years to Kidd's career as it would rely more on his IQ than his physical talent. Is there a better point guard for this system? With the loss of Kobe Bryant, Carter would fill in the scoring role for the Lakers. Carter is an explosive player with a long shooting range. Will he submit to the strict confines of the triangle? Being good friends with Kidd wil help him to cope, and being a wing, he will be in the most benficial role of the offensive system.
Lakers lineup
C - Kwame Brown
PF - Brian Cook
SF - Luke Walton
SG - Vince Carter
PG - Jason Kidd
THE NEW JERSEY NETS have been longing for a post scorer to take some of the pressure off of Nenad Kristic. Odom would be able to play in the post, but also be allowed to use his variable skills to draw defenders as far out as the 3-point line. Bryant would accept the role of scorer, with Jefferson playing sidekick. With these two on the floor, the pressure would be taken off of young point guard Marcus Williams, affording him the opportunity to adjust to the new weapons available to him on the floor. This move would catapult the Nets into the top 4 teams in the Eastern Conference.
Nets Lineup
C - Nenad Kristic
PF - Lamar Odom
SF - Richard Jefferson
SG - Kobe Bryant
PG - Marcus Williams

#2: Chicago Bulls trade Ben Gordon and Andres Nocioni to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Kevin Garnett.
BULLS fans everywhere are suddenly cursing my name. Most are attached to the idea Ben Gordon is the key to their success. I believe that 2006-2007 was proof that the Bulls were a lost-post scorer away from beating the Pistons in the play-offs. Trading Nocioni and Gordon removes the two streakiest shooters from the Windy City, and brings in one of the most consistent big men in the league. Garnett can provide for coach Skiles on both ends of the floor, and his experience would be valuable for a young Bulls team looking to get over the hump. Removing Gordon from the spotlight will allow Hinrich to open up his game. His jumper will be much more respected by defenses with a low post threat. Most imprtantly, it allows the Bulls to use their lottery pick to draft a capable shooting guard that can be primed from the bench in hopes of starting by the end of the season, or providing a spark from the bench.
Bulls Lineup
C - Ben Wallace
PF - Kevin Garnett
SF - Luol Deng
SG - Thabo Sefolosha
PG - Kirk Hinrich
SO HOW DOES THIS HELP THE WOLVES? Regardless of where Garnett goes, Minnesota can only expect to have a rebuilding year. This will prove to be an opportunity for Ricky Davis to become a true leader for this team with Gordon as his "Pippen." Gordon and Davis would prove to be one of the more dangerous backcourts in the league. Minnesota will be able to use their #7 pick on a capable rebounder that could be primed into a low post threat. Should Davis and Gordon coexist, the scoring would be in place, with an emphasis on creating rebounding and defensive forces in the front-court in order to make a serious run in 2008-2009.
Timberwolves Lineup
C - Mark Blount
PF - #7 Draft pick/Juwan Howard
SF - Trent Hassell
SG - Ricky Davis
PG - Ben Gordon

#3: The Atlanta Hawks trade Joe Johnson to the Denver Nuggets for Marcus Camby and Eduardo Najera.
A YOUNG HAWKS team could use a boost from the experince and veteran leadership of the Defensive Player of the Year. The Hawks have the peices to become a fast break team, and Camby could be the anchor of their transistion offense. With Josh Smith and Marcus Camby protecting the middle, player will be forced to take low percentage perimeter shots. Najera is a workhorse that would be valuable in the lockerrom to the young forwards in Atlanta. The Hawks can only hope that even a little of his attidue rubs off on their players.
Hawks Lineup
C - Marcus Camby
PF - Shelden Williams
SF - Josh Smith
SG - Royal Ivey
PG - Tyronn Lue
THE NUGGETS still have yet to fill their need for a capable shooting guard. JR Smith has proven to be inconsistent and a poor defender that takes ill-advised shots. In steps Joe Johnson. In order for this to work, Johnson would need to be willing to take a back seat to Carmelo Anthony offensively; and more importantly, Allen Iverson will need to take fewer shots and accept a permamnent role in orchestrating the Nuggets' offense. Sounds like a longshot, but with Iverson's need to prove to his doubters that he can alter his game for the better of the team along with he and Johnson's thirst for a title, this could work well for Denver. With such a financially loaded front court, the Nuggets need to move the oft-injured Camby while his stock is still high.
Nuggets Lineup
C - Nene
PF - Kenyon Martin
SF - Carmelo Anthony
SG - Joe Johnson
PG - Allen Iverson

Mr. Showtime really has no credible basketball credentials and just likes to voice his opinion. He doesn't care what you think. However, if you are reading this, you've already read his column, anyway.

So it's come to this...

"I would like to be traded, yeah," Kobe Bryant told ESPN radio. "Tough as it is to come to that conclusion there's no other alternative."

I'm going to do my best not to read too far into that statement, but I believe that Kobe Bryant wants to be traded.

Eventually, every superstar NBA player on a bad team reaches the point where they've had enough and have no choice but to survey other options. The 2006-2007 season proved to be the year that solidified Bryant's place on the list of superstar players on a desert island. Kevin Garnett tops this list. Paul Pierce is a close second. Michael Redd and Ray Allen linger somewhere in the middle. But unlike the aforementioned lone ballers, Bryant has decided to take the controversial road less traveled. Bryant is asking for a trade.

It's a difficult position to be in. Put yourself in those shoes for a minute (nice Gucci loafers! - a little big, though). The lifespan of a superstar NBA player, barring serious injury, is about 12 years. After 5-6 years on an underperforming basketball team, you begin to realize that your chances of ever acheiving the ultimate prize of a championship is slipping from your reach as you are reaching the tail end of your prime. You're constantly reminded by the organization that you're the most valuable part of the franchise. You receive star treatment from team management and you've been rewarded handsomely with quite a large contract extension, but what is it all really worth? Where will Paul Pierce's name be in the history books? He's played for a perennial lottery team for several years. Kevin Garnett's Timberwolves have become the laughing stock of the Western Conference, yet he hangs on the lingering promise that the team will improve each year, and is repeatedly left holding the bag. You don't want to be like them. How are you going to escape this situation? With all the years you've put into the team, the All-Star team apperarances, the All-NBA votes, the invitation to play for Team USA. Should you just ask to be traded? What about the fans? Every home game, you see many of the same faces, most wearing variations of your jersey. Don't you owe them to stay in town? But aren't they also disappointed with the way your organization has let them down for so many years?

Obviously, Kobe doesn't fit all of this description. The Lakers were in the NBA Finals just three years ago, and made it to the Western Semifinals last year. But he's thinking ahead. After 11 years in the league, and five years without a ring, he doesn't want to mentioned in the same sentence with guys like Garnett, Allen, and Pierce.

Now we get to the fun part:

If Kobe gets traded, where does he go? For Who?

I think it's safe to say that Kobe's not going to a team in the Western Conference. So who in the East could cash that Ticket? One factor to keep in mind is that the Lakers are in desparate need of a quality post player, and without Kobe, Lamar Odom immediately becomes their go-to guy so they'd need a steady point guard to run the triangle. Here are some scenarios to consider:

Boston. Boston could send their #5 2007 draft pick along with Al Jefferson and Theo ratliff for Bryant and Andrew Bynum. Why would the Lakers want Ratliff? He's got an expiring contract, NBA salary cap gold. If the guy is even an ounce of his former self for his 1 year stay in LA, maybe they can resign him for the long haul. If not, who cares? He's sent packing when 2007-2008 comes to a close. I smell a play-off berth with this starting five.

PG Delonte West
SG Kobe Bryant
SF Paul Pierce
PF Gerald Green
C Andrew Bynum

Toronto. The Raptors could send Juan Dixon, Anthony Parker, and Jorge Garbajosa to LA for Bryant and Sasha Vujacic. In order for this to work for the Raps, they would need to resign Morris Petetrson with the expectation that he would share time at SF with Bargnani. Dixon provides the Lakers with ample scoring, but is also an expiring contract should things not work out. The Toronto starting five:

PG TJ Ford
SG Kobe Bryant
SF Andrea Bargnani
PF Chris Bosh
C Rasho Nesterovic

Orlando. The Magic send Darko Milicic, Carlos Arroyo, and sign-and-trade Grant Hill for Kobe Bryant. Rumor has it that the Lakers are interested in Hill. This deal would lock-up the possibility of them missing out on Grant and also get them an emerging center and fiery point guard. The Orlando Starting five:

PG Jameer Nelson
SG Kobe Bryant
SF Hedo Turkoglu
PF Dwight Howard
C Tony Battie

Detroit. The Pistons send Rip Hamilton, Lindsey Hunter, and a 2nd round pick in 2008 for Bryant and Smush Parker (resigned for the veteran minim). Hunter, an expiring contract would be valuable to the young Laker PGs in the lockerroom and brings championship experience in a return trip to LA. Hamilton would be a scoring spark for the Lakers. The unstoppable Pistons starting five:

PG Chauncey Billups
SG Kobe Bryant
SF Tayshaun Prince
PF Rasheed Wallace
C Jason Maxiell

 Mr. Showtime really has no credible basketball credentials and just likes to voice his opinion. He doesn't care what you think. However, if you are reading this, you've already read his column, anyway.

The art of the dunk is legendary. Tonight the world will watch a few of the best dunkers in the league today compete in a dunk competition. The dunk contest has always been a staple of the NBA All-Star weekend as far back as I can remember. Who can forget the Dominique-Jordan showdown? Dee Brown's Hide-your-eyes dunk? Or Vince Carter's incredible ability to one-up the competition? But today, I want to give tribute to the real dunkers; the guys that did these same kinds of amazing dunks, but did them time and time again in actual regular season and playoff games. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Mr. Showtime's Flight Team: The Top Ten.

#10 Dwayne Wade

Dwayne Wade has come onto the scene strong. His moves have a striking similarity to that of the great Michael Jordan, but Wade has a dunking style of his own. He doesn't show off the endless flight of his Chicago predecessor, and he practically has his own style. When thinking of Wade and dunking, I'm reminded o####ame in 2005-2006 in which Wade was inbounding the ball and a fan sitting courtside behind him told him to dunk it. Wade simply agreed and passed it, got the ball back and drove the baseline and put it home 2-handed. He ran down the court smiling at the fan.
"Flash" doing it right



#9 Scottie Pippen

Scottie Pippen will be forever known as the most important sidekick in the history of the game. Not only that, but he ran the triangle offense as if he designed it himself. What was often overlooked, was how graciously Pippen used to take it to the hole. He would dunk with finesse and power. His dunks were a direct reflection of his seamless basketball ability.
Scottie Pippen vs Jay-Z

#8 Larry Nance

Like most good teams, the Cleveland Cavliers of the early ninties took on the attitudes of their two captains, Mark Price and Brad Daugherty. They were a workhorse group that ran set plays and did all the dirty work, much like the San Antonio Spurs of today. But "Leapin" Larry Nance was the Hyde to their Jekyll. At 6'10" 235, Nance was long and lanky but had a remarkable vertical leap and was not shy about putting it down with force. Larry would get up so high I swear he could've grabbed the top of the backboard. Nance paved the way high-flying big men.
Leapin Larry Nance Dunk Video



#7 LeBron James

LeBron James has been dubbed the "King" by the media as the hype continues to build. Don't be fooled, he's got a long way to go to be the best ever. But when it comes to his dunks, believe the hype. Forget saving the NBA, there's plenty of time for that. "King" James needs to save the NBA Slam Dunk Contest. At 6'8" 240lbs, he's got the perfect build to put down some of the sickest in-game jams I can remember.
I'm King James, trick!

#6 Clyde Drexler

Clyde "The Glide" Drexler was a different kind of dunker. Most great dunkers dunk with authority to emphasize the moment. When Drexler went to rim you'd think that he was making a film for National Geographic. Glide earned his nickname by making the dunk a thing of beauty.
Clyde Drexler: I apologize if this video induces the growth of an s-curl or rattail.



#5 Kobe Bryant

The king of the "Next MJ's", Kobe Bryant has had an incredible career full of ups and downs before he's even 30 years old. And over those years, Bryant has given us some very memorable dunks. Whether its a gliding jam, or an in-your-face monster slam, Kobe has made many a highlight-film for his amazing dunks.
Go Bean Go!



#4 Shawn Kemp

Shawn Kemp was the best and last great tall dunker. While watching him dunk, you often forgot that he was 6'10". The guy was practically a center, but the "Reign Man" made you think he was 6'5". The guy had a solid all-around game and he topped it off with incredible alley-oops and facials. If you never saw Shawn Kemp dunk, you missed out on something special. Can you believe he never won a dunk contest?
Watch for the dunk where he grabs Cadillac Anderson's #### in order to gain leverage.

#3 Vince Carter

Vince Carter nearly made second on this list. "Vinsanity" is an incredible scorer that can beat you many ways; but whenever I think about Vince Carter, I think about stupendous dunks. Carter dunks in traffic like there's no one else around. This guy is the Godfather of dunking and has some of the greatest dunks in NBA history. Who can forget that memorable dunk over a 7'2" Frenchman in the Olympics?
Do the damn thing, Vince



#2 Michael Jordan

Not only is he arguably, the greatest player to ever lace up and get paid for it, but Michael Jordan edges out Vince Carter purely based on the fact that I'm sure that every player that ever played in the league while Jordan played is featured somewhere in a Jordan dunk highlight. Be it a poster, video, or trading card, Jordan was very democratic with his facials. "His Airness" and his incredible hops inspired the now classic phrases "It's gotta be the shoes", "I wanna be like Mike", and "I believe I can fly". He's even got a couple dunk contest trophies on his shelf.
Michael Freaking Jordan, ladies and gentlemen. Michael Freaking Jordan.



#1 Dominique Wilkins

Dominique Wilkins is the greatest in-game dunker I have ever seen. "The Human Highlight Film" (aptly named) would drive to the hoop, leave his feet, double-pump, turn around, fake the pass, switch hands, pump again, switch back to his good hand, dunk, and then land with a half eaten sandwich in his hand. The man was amazing when it came to dunking. He was the most athletic power dunker that I have ever seen. This man attacked the rim like it owed him money. To Dominique, it almost seemed as if he preferred to dunk on 3 guys instead of one. And don't let him get out on a fast break because that's when the show really began. The breakway is where he showed his versatility by bringing out his finesse dunks.
Amazing Dominique Wilkins mix. Long, but worth it

Honorable Mention:
Charles Barkley
Tracy McGrady
Kenny Smith
Shaq O'neal
Carmelo Anthony
Kevin Johnson
Kenny Walker

Thank you for viewing this list. It is composed of dunkers that I have watched in my time so I apologize for not including old school dunkers like Dr. J, Darryl Dawkins, or David Thompson.

Mr. Showtime really has no credible basketball credentials and just likes to voice his opinion. He doesn't care what you think. However, if you are reading this, you've already read his column, anyway.

When Andrew Bynum entered the league last season for the Lakers many had high hopes. They dubbed him the "next Shaq" and the youngun', straight out of high school, even had the golden opportunity to slam dunk in the face of man so many were hoping that his game would mirror. But a look back at his rookie season reveals that the 7 foot, 285 lbs. prospect averaged only 1.6 points per game and 1.7 rebounds per game.

In steps Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

The Lakers arranged to have Kareem mentor, train, and teach the young protege what it means to be a center for the famed Los Angeles franchice. For those of you unfamiliar with Karrem Abdul Jabbar, he was one of the greatest centers to ever play in the NBA. After dominating at UCLA, Lew Alcindor (his prior name before changing it when he converted to Islam) went into the NBA in 1969 and left in 1989 with six MVP trophies, six league championships, and the All-time scoring record, which still stands today.

The result? In 46 games this season, Bynum is averaging 8.3 points, 6.4 rebounds, and 1.7 blocks. It appears as if Kareem's influence on young Bynum created the increase in statistics. One could argue that Bynum's improvement is a direct result of Abdul-Jabbar's counseling. Of course, this would not work with any former player because there are too many outside factors such as the former player's ability (or willingness) to accurately instruct a young protege. But let's pretend for a minute that it's just that easy. Let's pretend that if you pin your budding star with a former NBA player, the young pupil's game will begin to mirror that of the Legend. Assuming this is the case, here are a few young stars and the former players that I'd like to see influence them.

Charles Oakley on Drew Gooden

Gooden has had a very good NBA career over the past five years averaging 12.3 points per game and 7.7 rebounds per game, but it seems as if he could be more of a precense on the floor. In come Charles Oakley. "Oak" had similar career stats at 9.7 and 9.5, but Oakley was a beast on defense and was a large part of the villified Knicks teams of the early 90s. Oakley filled a decent stat sheet, but he made his living by playing every game like he just found out that the IRS would be garnishing his wages. The guy was a hard-#### and wasn't afraid to put any player on his back if he got too confident. He could teach Gooden some toughness and allow him to use his size and toughness to intimidate opposing teams.

Dominique Wilkins on Gerald Wallace

Gerald Wallace has began to make name for himself as an up-and-coming player in his last few seasons. Many now know him as a major defensive threat and excellent rebounder. He has recently began to enhance his scoring. His recent 42 point effort shows his ability to light teams up on the offensive end. A mentor like Dominique Wilkins could be just what Wallace needs to move his name to the upper echelon of young players. Wilkins was also a great rebounder, but made his money on his fearless drives to the hoop. Dominique was known for posterizing helpless defenders that ended up on the business end of one of his dunks. Wallace needs to gain this fearlessness on offense.

Scottie Pippen on Andre Iguodala

With all of the skills and potential that I see in Andre Iguodala, I've never seen a guy underacheive more than he does. But I don't blame him, I blame his coaches. Watching him on the floor, it seems that he's not completely sure what to do on offense. He's already an excellent defender, but he has yet to develop into the all-around player that his rare skillset offers. A few meetings with Scottie Pippen would change that. Scottie was a small forward that ran the Bulls' offense and often carried the ball down the floor, earning him the title of "point-forward." In fact, Pippen currently holds the record for most career assists by a forward. Pippen was a tenacious defender, earning a spot on the NBA All-Defensive team 10 times. Pippen was one of the few versatile greats that could've played 4 different positions on the floor with effectiveness. If Andre can increase his basketball IQ and open his skill set much like Pippen, he would finally be the player that Philadelphia would look to build around.

Chuck Person on Mike Dunleavy

Mike Dunleavy seems stagnant where he is. Like many small forwards, he is a jack of all trades, but a master of none. He has a decent shot. He can drive to the basket fairly well. But to make people remember his name, he will need to find his niche. In steps "The Rifleman" Chuck Person. At 6'8" 220 lbs., Person had the skill set o####uard with a deadly jump shot and the body of a forward that he used to #### inside. Most forwards are multi-faceted. Chuck used his mixture of skills to his advantage. He is forever remembered for his heated playoff showdowns with Larry Bird. Players hated Chuck due to his in-your-face attitude and his jumper that fell like rain.


Isiah Thomas on Jameer Nelson

Jameer Nelson sees to me to be a very skilled player that still hasn't quite figured out what kind of player he wants to be. At 6 feet 190 lbs, he's too small to be a shooting guard, but enjoys the opportunity to put it through the hoop. He needs some counseling from the one point guard that I remember watching that was great at getting his cake and eating it, too. Isiah Thomas. "Zeke" was the biggest little man in the game in his time and was so dangerous because of his ability to score almost at will or make the pass to the open man when needed. Nelson can't expect to be the top offensive option while Orlando has such an exciting prescence underneath the basket in Dwight Howard, but if he can make defenses worry about whether he will pass to Howard or carry 2 guys to the hoop with the And-1, he will make some noise in the quiet Eastern Conference.

Mr. Showtime really has no credible basketball credentials and just likes to voice his opinion. He doesn't care what you think. However, if you are reading this, you've already read his column, anyway.

So what sort of scheme did Philip concoct last night that lead to the ultimate demise of San Antonio? It was actually very simple.
 

On defense, their plan was to crowd the lane. By doing this, it discouraged the Spurs from getting the ball to Tim Duncan in the post. If they dared get the ball to him, the Lakers immediately applied the double-team. By crowding the lane, this also prevented Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili from driving to the hoop, their bread-and-butter. By using this strategy, they forced San Antonio to beat them with their outside shooting. The Spurs lead the league in three-point shooting; however, their outside shots are typically planned plays that create an open shot for Bowen, Horry, or Barry. Last night, their threes were frustrated attempts to keep the game close. The Lakers did an excellent job of keeping the Spurs uncomfortable on the floor.

On offense, the Lakers utilized their strengths. Last year, the offense ran exclusively through Kobe Bryant, with him passing only when necessary. This year, there are some possessions in which Kobe never touches the ball. What is happening is that the other players on the team are now permitted to play to their strengths on offense. Assistant coach, Tex Winter's trianlge offense is devised to allow the team to attack from mutiple positions. Guys like Luke Walton and Maurice Evans are now allowed to drive when they see a lane. Guys like Brian Cook, and Vladimir Radmanovic are trusted when they take that three-pointer. And most importantly, Kobe Bryant is forcing less shots and distributing the ball when he sees an opportunity for someone else. Of course, Kobe still gets his. He dropped 34 points last night and took some questionable shots, but his jump to a leadership role this season is admirable (Gil Arenas, I hope you're taking notes).

Gregg Popovich and the Spurs have a lot of planning to do in order to avoid being put in the type of situation they were last night. Dallas fans should hope that Mavericks coach Avery Johnson was watching this game.

-Showtime Out.

Mr. Showtime really has no credible basketball credentials and just likes to voice his opinion. He doesn't care what you think. However, if you are reading this, you've already read his column, anyway.