Pirates of the Cuban-ian

It's no secret that the Pirates suck.

It's also no secret that Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks and a Pittsburgh native, wants to buy them.

Cuban has made inquiries, officially starting last fall, unofficially for years now, into buying the Pirates from owner Kevin McClatchy.  So far, he's been told that the team isn't for sale.

However, McClatchy should really reconsider his stance.

The Pirates have sucked for 13 (going on 14 from the looks of it) years now, since they allowed homegrown superstars Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla to leave via free agency.  And since then, the team has further slid into the #### from mismanagement, reluctance to spend on the free agent market, and terrible signings when the team does.

While there is nothing wrong with building around lower priced prospects, particularly if you're in a small market, the Pirates have let a lot of their promising talent either walk (Bonds), traded in terrible deals (Aramis Ramirez), or failed to make a space for them (Chris Shelton anyone?)  Plus, if you're receiving vast amounts of money from the revenue sharing system, there should be no reason why you shouldn't be able to offer some of those stars extensions or even making a bid for a modest free agent. 

But no, the Pirates have had one of the lowest payrolls in baseball for the years now and have largely shied away from pursuing free agents.  And as a result, the team is largely a loser, despite having some nice young talent in Zack Duke and company and in playing in one of the most beautiful ballparks in all of baseball.

Mark Cuban wouldn't allow the Pirates to continue in their current state of mediocrity.

First of all, Cuban would be a refreshing change around Pittsburgh, bringing energy, enthusiasm, and character to the largely boring Pirates.  Can you imagine seeing Cuban charge the mound in bench clearing brawls, or arguing with umpires over a bad call and getting himself tossed in the process.  That would be hilarious and would bring the fans back into the game just to see what Cuban would do. 

Plus, Cuban would bring a new drive to win with the Pirates, pouring not only the revenue sharing and profits that the owners have largely been placing back into their pockets, but millions out of his own pocket just to see the Pirates compete with the Cubs and the Astros and the Cardinals in that division.  Free agents wouldn’t shy away from Cuban, who has made pushes to sign free agents and top players for the Dallas Mavericks, turning them into one of the NBA's top franchises.

The Pirates would also lock up their developing talent long term and would play it smart in terms of trades of finances.  With a few exceptions, Cuban has done a good job as a whole of not only keeping the Mavericks competitive, but payroll flexible as well.

Fans would trickle back to the ballpark, re-engerized by their teams new ability to stay competitve in a difficult division and the Pirates would also gain new fans outside of the area as their exposure rises with more wins, new stars, and new success.

Will it happen?

Who knows?

It depends largely on McClatchy, who makes at least $15 million off of the Pirates each year and is not likely to give up that revenue stream.  And though Cuban would give a pretty penny for the team, McClatchy would lose that status that comes from being an owner of a professional team.

In which case, it likely means more losses, more depressing seasons at the bottom of the standings, and more and more lamenting about the Pirates becoming the National League version of the Kansas City Royals.

My message to fans?

Bombard the Pirates front office with letters, emails, rocks, threats of physical violence, and most importantly, threats of cancelling your season tickets.

Let the management know you want a change and will not continue to subsidize a loser.

Tell them you want a new sheriff in town.

I'm sure they have Mark on speed dial.