I've had about enough of the Johan Santana rumor mill.

It's becoming increasingly obvious that he'll be there opening day with the Twins and will remain with them till at least the trade deadline.

Why?

Because it's becoming increasinly obvious that there is a lot of chatter from all sides, but no action.  Usually, the more rumors that are passed around about a player, the more unlikely it's going to happen.  It's like talking the whole night how you're going to go after the prettiest girl in the room, but at the end of the night, you're going back home to nothing but a hard drive full of porn and a full box of kleenex.

Sorry for the visual analogy, but that's what it's become in the Santana Sweepstakes, which have become nothing more than just a lot of shock jock fodder and a whole lot of New York centric media opinions (oh god, the New York media opionions!  Newsday has become unreadable!)  I swear to god, if I hear one more Hank Steinbrenner quote, I'll go up to Yankee Stadium myself and stuff his father's turtleneck in his piehole, just so he'd shut up!

BTW, is it just me, or is Steinbrenner the Younger seeming to enjoy the limelight that comes with his new job.  I think he's likely to follow in his father's footsteps, which means that the Yankees will be sucking in about five to eight years, thanks to Hank trading away the farm and signing the various Mel Hall and Danny Tartabull types on a whim.

The fact is, a trade should have already happened, as Boston, New York and New York should have pulled the trigger on a deal.

And spare me the talk about how Santana would require a huge contract extension that makes him unaffordable.  All three of these teams would be lining up to get into a money fight for Santana if he hits the market next winter.

And the Yankees are the last one's to be preaching fiscal responsibility.  Didn't they just spend $275 million on Alex Rodriguez?  They can easily afford to extend Santana, who fills a need and has more upside to any Yankee prospect with the exception of Joba.  They have $58.3 million coming off the books anyway, not counting the sunk costs of $6.95 million for paying Giambi and Pavano to go away.

Don't snicker Red Sox fans.  You all aren't any better.  You have about the same amount of money leaving the books, with Manny and Varitek's contracts coming off the books.  And you have the farm system depth to fill the holes as well. 

The Twins too also have to be reasonable.  You aren't going to get a team to completely gut their system for Santana.   It's unrealistic.  You need to get teams to agree to a reasonable set of demands and flip as soon as the best deal comes up. 

Financial reasons aside, here is what the Twins should reasonably expect to get for their ace:

• 1 High Quality Pitching Prospect
• 1 High Quality Positional Prospect
• 1 Above Average Pitching Prospect
• 1 Average Prospect Or Young Player

Here are the offers for each team:

Boston - Jon Lester (LHP), Jed Lowrie (SS/2B), Justin Masterson (RHP), Coco Crisp (CF)

I honestly don't know why the Twins haven't agreed to this deal, as it matches up with my qualifications perfectly.  I think the Twins are hoping that Boston will toss in Clay Buchholz, which won't happen.  Lester is an above average lefty who could be a number two starter.  Lowrie could start for Minnesota now and be the best second baseman they've had since Chuck Knoblauch.  Masterson has the potential to be a good pitcher in this league and Crisp helps give Minnesota a solid outfield for the first time in years.

New York (AL) - Phil Hughes (RHP), Melky Cabrera (CF), Jeff Marquez (RHP), Mitch Hillgross

This is insulting, actually.  While Hughes is very good and I like Marquez to be a solid innings eater in the NATIONAL league, the rest is just ####.  Cabrera is a average regular, not a star and I don't blame the Twins for shooing away fhe Yankees with this offer.  If you want to give me something to think about, here is what I would ask for:

Phil Hughes (RHP), Melky Cabrera (CF), Ian Kennedy (RHP), Alan Horne (RHP)

And before Yankee Fans jump on me, consider this.  Kennedy has been highly overrated since he was drafted and has been made to be a lot better than he is by the Yankee spin machine.  He is, at best, a average pitcher with excellent command and is at best a Number Three pitcher, nothing more.  He's not the second coming of Mike Mussia, who had better stuff than Kennedy at the beginning of his career.  Horne has good stuff, but is injury prone and likely a bullpen guy in the end.  Cabrera is an average regular, not a star. 

New York (NL) - Carlos Gomez (CF), Delouis Guerra (RHP), Phil Humber (RHP), Kevin Mulvey (RHP)

A good offer, it's better than what the Yankees are offering and it sends Santana to the NL, where he wouldn't haunt the Twins.  However, I would ask for Fernando Martinez, who has a chance to be a star, instead of Gomez.  That would trump the Red Sox offer and if I had that deal on the table, I'd take it and run with it.  Guerra has a chance to be a solid Number Two pitcher, Humber an inninsg eater, and Mulvey a solid 3.  That's not a bad return.

Oh, and by the way, Omar Minaya is a fool for not agreeing to trade Gomez back in November for Matt Garza, who had a chance to be the best pitcher on the Mets' roster.  The Twins should thank him, as they got Delmon Young in the deal, who is a lot better.

Unfortunately, it looks like we'll be inundated with more of the Santana claptrap, with more rantings for Hank Steinbrenner, more of us seeing Theo Epstein's Fraiser Crane impersonation with him saying "I'm listening", and more pleas from Omar Minaya for the Twins to accept his good, but not great offer. 

So sorry folks, we'll be listening to three more months of the same #### till Spring Training ends.