All Time Stupidest Sports Injuries

With Mariano Rivera causing back spasms while putting on his shoes last week, I decided to do a special feature.  The First and Second Team of the All-Time Stupidest Sports Injuries.

First Team

Starting Lineup

·          Catcher: Mickey Tettleton (Detroit Tigers) – Went on the DL with athlete’s foot…caused by tying his shoes too tight.

·          First Base: George Brett (Kansas City Royals) – Broke his toe on a chair at home while running for the kitchen to the TV to watch Bill Buckner hit.

·          Second Base:  Jeff Kent (San Francisco Giants) – Claimed he hurt his wrist while washing his truck.  Rumor has it that he was injured doing motorcycle stunts instead.

·          Shortstop: Clint Barmes (Colorado Rockies) – Barmes had a strong Rookie of the Year campaign until he broke his collarbone…carrying deer meat.

·          Third Base: Wade Boggs (Boston Red Sox) – Hurt himself…while putting on his cowboy boots.

·          Outfield:  Vince Colman (St. Louis Cardinals) – Missed the entire 1985 World Series…after being run over by Busch Stadium’s tarp machine.

·          Outfield: Ken Griffey, Jr. (Seattle Mariners) – No stranger to injury, Griffey once missed a game after suffering a pinched testicle from his protective cup.

·          Outfield: Rickey Henderson (Toronto Blue Jays) – Missed several games because of frostbite…in August…caused by falling asleep on an ice pack.

·          Designated Hitter:  Glen Allen Hill (Toronto Blue Jays) – One of the most painful, Hill went on the DL after suffering cuts caused by crashing through a glass table while dreaming that he was being attacked by spiders.

Bench

·          Bench: Oddibe McDowell (Texas Rangers) – Sliced open his hand at a Texas welcome home luncheon while buttering a roll.

·          Bench: Kevin Mitchell (New York Mets) – Taken out by a microwaved donut.  I have no idea how this happened.

·          Bench: Terry Harper (Atlanta Braves) – Separated his shoulder while waving a teammate home and subsequently high fiving him.

·          Bench:  Sammy Sosa (Chicago Cubs) – Missed a game after throwing out his back…while sneezing.

·          Bench: Jose Cardenal (Chicago Cubs) – Missed a game in 1974 because he couldn’t blink. 

Starting Rotation

·          John Smoltz (Atlanta Braves) – Once burned his chest while ironing a shirt…while he was still wearing it.

·          Nolan Ryan (Houston Astros) – Missed a start after being bitten on his hand…by a coyote.

·          Jake Peavy (San Diego Padres) – Fractured a rib after he jumped into a celebratory pile after the Padres clinched the division.

·          Carlos Perez (Montreal Expos) – Broke his nose in a car accident…while trying to pass the team bus.

·          Adam Eaton (San Diego Padres) – Stabbed himself in the stomach while tearing off the wrapper on a DVD.

The Bullpen

·          Swingman: Dwight Gooden (New York Mets) – Missed a start when Vince Coleman accidentally took him out with a golf club in the clubhouse.

·          Middle reliever: Steve Sparks (Milwaukee Brewers) – Dislocated his shoulder…while attempting to tear a phone book in half.

·          Middle Reliever:  Mark Smith (Baltimore Orioles) – Injured his hand…while sticking it into an air conditioner to see why it wasn't working.

·          Middle reliever: Charlie Hough (Texas Rangers) – Once broking his pinky…while pinking shaking.

·          Middle reliever: Ricky Bones (Florida Marlins) – Missed time in 2000 after injuring himself…while changing channels on the clubhouse TV.

·          Setup Man: Greg Harris (Texas Rangers) - suffered a strained elbow flipping sunflower seeds while sitting in the bullpen

·          Closer: Jason Isringhausen (Oakland Athletics) – Broke his hand while punching a trashcan, just weeks after stabbing himself in the leg trying to open a package.

Manager - Roger Craig (San Francisco Giants)

Cut his hand…while undoing a bra strap.  Awesome.

The Second Team