Was it me or did Bonzi Wells' mole get bigger and bigger the better he played? He drove to the hoop, got the rebounds and whaamm!! There's that damn mole. It's like the Kings suddenly had six players on the court.
TASTES LIKE MOLE
Consequently, when he missed a shot, mole got smaller, went into hiding almost like it was embarrassed...
Mole has nothing to be embarrassed about. Bonzi Wells was the main reason the Kings even took two games from the Spurs. Mole will be living it up next year, sitting on top of the top lip of a very rich player.
I'm looking forward to the league installing a Bonzi Mole cam next year...
Okay...I didn't think I could write an entire blog about some guy's beauty mark, but it does shed light to some things about these larger than life athletes we see on television. The Playoffs-Finals. These are the times when legends are created, the times when MJ became Superman, Worthy became Big Game James.
These guys become larger than life, and we, mere mortals, try and find the reasons, the explanations as to what sets these guys apart. Because it couldn't be sound fundamentals and pure athleticism. No, nothing boring like that. There's some special reason, an x-factor, a myth, if you will, as to why these guys are so darn good.
So...I decided to create some mythsof my own for the NBA Playoffs. Did the mole give him extra powers? Could be...
MY PLAYOFF MYTHS
LEANDRO BARBOSA IS PART MOUSE: Maybe it's watching too much Tom and Jerry, but the better Barbosa played in games six and seven, the more he started to remind me of a fast, little mouse. Speedy Gonzales if you will.
We all know the Lakers defense played like "Swiss cheese" in those final games and Barbosa was one of the guys eating through it and enjoying every minute of it. Man or mouse? All mouse, baby!
DUNCAN'S STARE WILL TURN YOU TO STONE: Duncan learned a thing or two from Medusa. Just ask Desagana who suffered through so many Duncan stares he was cemented to the floor, stuck, flabbergasted, and paralyzed as Duncan went off.
VLADIMIR RADMANOVIC COMES FROM A LINE OF VAMPIRES WHO WERE ABLE TO BITE FROM LONG RANGE: He hasn't made that much of an impact in the playoffs as of yet, but I see Radman going off on the Suns as the Clippers will need the sharpshooters in this series. If it gets bloody, this guy will be right in the middle of the action.
One thing is for certain, Nash will put his neck on the line for the Suns. And Vlady will be there with fangs on.
I AIN'T TRYIN' TO HEAR THAT: Here's one myth that's along the lines of Bonzi's mole but opposite. The better Richard Jefferson plays the smaller his ears get.
IS IT TRUE YOUR EARS ARE GETTING SMALLER?
The better he plays on court, the more he has to tune out players on the other team who are trying to get to him with trash talk. Sooner or later, they won't be able to get inside his head via the ears.
THEY GOTTA GO SOMEWHERE: Connected to Jefferson's myth is Michael Doleac. Doleac's ears get bigger, the better Richard Jefferson plays.
I AM POTATOHEAD
You'll notice in the Heat-Nets series when Doleac is in the game, he'll use his ears as a third and fourth hand to swat at balls.
PART OF THE DA VINCI CODE IS HIDDEN ON JASON TERRY:
MONA LISA SMILE
Notice that Mona Lisa has a faint headband and the shape in the background behind her could only be that of the American Airlines Center. This, gentlemen, points us to either Eric Dampier, Josh Howard, Marquis Daniels or Jason Terry. All Mavericks and all wearers of headbands. But only Jason Terry captures the elusiveness and mystery that is Mona Lisa. We shall search him for clues. The only real question scholars will want to know: Can Mona Lisa ball?
DAMON JONES IS ACTUALLY CLARENCE GILYARD FROM WALKER TEXAS RANGER :
CLARENCE
DAMON
And you were asking what the heck happened to Clarence from Walker Texas Ranger and Diehard fame. He shot 'em up as Chuck's sidekick and now he's doing his thing shootin' it up in the NBA as Lebron's sidekick.
MYTHS ABOUND IN CAR TOWN: There are so many myths about the various Piston players, whether it be the special powers of Rip's mask, the tales weaved from Ben's hair, or the forces emanating from Sheed's Sun tattoo.
But the biggest myth of all is the one that Heat fans and Nets fans and Cavs fans are buying into, the one that says the Piston's won't go back to the NBA Finals this year. After seeing them play Sunday, I'm having a hard time believing in that one.
I'd rather believe that Carlos Delfino is Jimmy Fallon's long lost cousin.
HI JIMMY
I'd believe it if somebody told me that Tayshaun's arms are so long he can stand at one basket and touch someone all the way at the other basket.
CONDOR MAN
I'll believe that before I believe the Pistons aren't going to the finals.
I was abandoned as a baby by an oil rig worker named Ramses who set me off in a little raft to die at sea. I was eventually found on a Gulf Coast shore by a one-clawed crustacean who raised me until I was old enough to cook and eat him.
In all seriousness, I'm originally from Houston, Texas. I graduated with an English degree from University of Texas. After graduating, I moved to Los Angeles and have been working in the entertainment industry ever since. Between jobs, I moved to Paris, France for a year and wrote for various magazines over there. I moved back to Los Angeles and am currently working in the music industry for Warner Bros.
I've followed and played sports all my life, mostly BBF (Basketball, Baseball, Football). If I had a sports program I'd call it "The BBF".
