Clippers Fans, that rare bird no more...

I used to think Billy Crystal was a weird dude.  Don't get me wrong.  I loved his comedy, loved his movies, and I used to say "That's mah-velous" all the time.  I used to think he was weird because he was a Clippers fan. 

Now, now I think he's a genius.  Not only a comedy genius, but a genius, genius.  Now, there are as many celebrities at Clippers games as Lakers games.  You have Penny Marshall, Frankie Munoz, even Terrel Owens.  I even saw the kid who played Shaggy in the Movie version of Scooby Doo at the Clippers game.  It's gone Primetime, almost...

Clippers will never be the Lakers.

They don't have a cool cat like Nicholson on the sidelines.  They will probably never have the history the Lakers have.  But, they're getting close to being top dog, for now.  It's a long road sometimes to get from second to first fiddle.  For now, at least, they've eCLIPSed some of the Lakers spotlight.  Now, Jack looks more like the bad guy Jack from a Few Good Men and not the good guy Chinatown Jack. 

And those that have stuck by this team, all those loyal Clippers fans that stuck through the stink of losing season after season, all those guys are handing out their collective "I told you so's" all over the city.

There is some truth to the saying that Clippers fans are Lakers fans who couldn't afford Lakers tickets.  I was one of those guys, sort of. 

A few years back when the Lakers were winning like everything, I worked for a law firm that had season tickets to both teams.  And I so badly wanted to go to a Lakers game because I'd never been.  If the firm wasn't using their tickets, they'd give them away in a drawing to a lucky employee.  There were never any Lakers tickets in the drawing. There were only Clippers and Sparks tickets.  I wasn't that interested in the Sparks so I never put my name in the hat for them.  But for the Clippers I put my name in the drawing box every time and nearly every time I won.  Then I found out...

I was the only one who was even drawing for the tickets.  They eventually started to give the tickets to me.  I loved every minute of it, because every team the Clippers played was like the Globetrotters and you got to see some really good relaxed play without all that hooplah and fanfare.

And the most important thing was that I got to meet people.  The core fanbase.  The other guys there just like me who got free tickets from the company cofffer.  The stands were so sparse that I could actually yell at a Michael Olowokandi from the top section and he would actually turn around for a second and look at me while running down to cover on defense.

Over the past few years, the fans have grown and now the stands are as full as they are for Lakers games.  But you can still find those loyals there.  You can hear a somewhat more muffled Clipper fan Darrell, the ultimate Clipper fan, yelling out his, "Let's go Clippers!  Let's Go!" 

DARRELL BAILEY, CLIPPERS FAN EXTRAORDINAIRE

There's also this guy with a deep voice that I've sat by a dozen times who used to yell out "Free Fries!" at every game because that was all there was to look forward to, that maybe the Clippers would score a three-pointer in the final minute of the third-quarter.  Now they stopped giving out free fries at the games because the Clippers have too many good three-point shooters.

LEARNING TO WALK THE WALK

The stands used to be filled with guys who could relate to the underdog, guys and gals who knew about losing, guys and gals not fortunate enough to get Lakers tickets.  And now that the Clippers are suddenly winning, the losers are learning to become winners.  And there are a lot of people in the stands who look like wide-eyed babies who are seeing the world for the first time.

During the Nuggets series, in that first home game, the Clippers fans were so geared up for their team.  They were yelling and screaming and stomping and waving the #### sticks.  By the second half, they were burnt out, the energy was more subdued.  They hadn't learned yet how to pace themselves through an entire game with a winning playoff team.  I used to see Astros fans do this.  Astros fans did not have, and still do not have, that swagger, that complacent quietitude of a Yankees fan.  They scream, they holler, they're so happy to be there.

When you grow up and you learn the ropes of what it takes to be successful, it's almost impossible to maintain the innocence.  With experience comes a certain amount of decadance. 

I could say I don't want Clippers fans to grow up to be Lakers fans.  But there's a certain amount to be learned.  You learn from the best.  And the best is what the Lakers have been, historically speaking.  Clippers, steal some of that fire from down the Staples Center hallway and use it to cook up your own individual success.  And Clippers fan, learn how to act like a winner, look like a winner, because, now, you are a winner.

OTHER SECOND FIDDLES

I just want to mention for a bit some other teams with similar situations to the Clippers- Lakers.

WHITE SOX: ALREADY FIRST FIDDLE

Let's face it.  The Cubs haven't won anything in a long time.  But it's an interesting situation.  They've been top dog for a long time by virtue of an archaic stadium which attracts a lot of fans.  They're an oddity.  You go to Wrigley field to see a game when you go to Chicago and the Cubs happen to play there.  They've drawn crowds despite not winning the World Series in a million years. 

In recent years, they've had contender teams but now they're sliding and the White Sox are glad to take the spot light.  Winning the World Series was that statement.  They're cooler, hipper and winning-er (I know it's not a word) than the Cubs. 

The Cubs will have some serious soul-searching, I believe, after this season is over.  I'm not sure they even contend for the wild card.  We shall see.

THE NETS: FIRST FIDDLE FOR NOW

The Nets have taken the top spot from the Knicks in New York.  But it's tenuous.  Yeah, I know the Knicks are terrible.  But the Nets haven't taken advantage of being in the top spot while the Knicks have been down.  For now, Nets fans can rub it in the Knicks fans' faces.  But they haven't won it all.  If they can do that, they have a good chance of being top dog for good.  Or at least a good long time.

THE JETS: I USED TO BE TOP DOG

The New York Jets had their moment in the sun.  But it was a long, long time ago when a man named Naimath guaran"sheed" a super bowl win and put himself permanently into football lore.  But since that time, and before that time, it's been Giants, Giants, Giants.  Successfully built teams vs. teams built by shoddy draft choices.  Jets fans, I think, are finally learning that, hey, we gotta build a team.  Some of them were even happy about the D'Brick choice. They're building up the trenches and doing it old-fashioned.  But they still need that big shot who can predict them into a superbowl win.  Don't think they have it. 

THE METS: I AM IN PURGATORY

New York Mets can have a dozen miracle 69's and they'll never be top dog of the city.  Sorry maybe in a hundred years.  Mets fans are very similar to Clippers fans.  You have to take advantage of the turmoil that is the top dog of the city.  You key in on that and you feel good about yourself and you enjoy a few good years where your team is winning and geting noticed and the Yankees fan is all stressed because they didn't win the freaking whole thing. 

Sometimes being the top dog really bites because everyone thinks you're a failure if you don't win the superbowl/NBA Finals/World Series.  Sometimes it's better to be a surprise.  The dark horse coming out of nowhere.  When you win, you can really, really enjoy it.  It's not just a big sigh of relief.

SOME FAVORITE BLOGS

There are so many great blogs on here worth mentioning.  I just wanted to point out a few I enjoy reading and some for which I can't wait for the next post .

1. Moore Sports -- Keep it up, guy.  Good stuff.  Consistent.  And when he reads your blog you can tell he's really read it and given you some good pointers, things to think about.

2. Socalsportsfan -- I've read some thinkers on his page and learned a lot.  I really enjoy your insight.  Keep it up.

3. Red Sox DamnNation -- The sex starved panda -- Very humorous take on the world of the Sox.  Props, man.

4. Dr. Crab -- Woah, Dude!  There's some serious breakdown and analysis on there.  Definitely get some serious sports enrichment from reading ya.

Lots, lots more than that, guys!

Outta here like, like, when is Bonds gonna hit that thing?

One thing is for certain, Nash will put his neck on the line for the Suns.  And Vlady will be there with fangs on.

I AIN'T TRYIN' TO HEAR THAT:  Here's one myth that's along the lines of Bonzi's mole but opposite.  The better Richard Jefferson plays the smaller his ears get.

IS IT TRUE YOUR EARS ARE GETTING SMALLER?

The better he plays on court, the more he has to tune out players on the other team who are trying to get to him with trash talk.  Sooner or later, they won't be able to get inside his head via the ears.

THEY GOTTA GO SOMEWHERE:  Connected to Jefferson's myth is Michael Doleac.  Doleac's ears get bigger, the better Richard Jefferson plays.

I AM POTATOHEAD

You'll notice in the Heat-Nets series when Doleac is in the game, he'll use his ears as a third and fourth hand to swat at balls.

PART OF THE DA VINCI CODE IS HIDDEN ON JASON TERRY:

MONA LISA SMILE

Notice that Mona Lisa has a faint headband and the shape in the background behind her could only be that of the American Airlines Center.  This, gentlemen, points us to either Eric Dampier, Josh Howard, Marquis Daniels or Jason Terry.  All Mavericks and all wearers of headbands.  But only Jason Terry captures the elusiveness and mystery that is Mona Lisa.  We shall search him for clues.  The only real question scholars will want to know: Can Mona Lisa ball?

DAMON JONES IS ACTUALLY CLARENCE GILYARD FROM WALKER TEXAS RANGER :

                                               
           CLARENCE

DAMON

And you were asking what the heck happened to Clarence from Walker Texas Ranger and Diehard fame.  He shot 'em up as Chuck's sidekick and now he's doing his thing shootin' it up in the NBA as Lebron's sidekick.

MYTHS ABOUND IN CAR TOWN: There are so many myths about the various Piston players, whether it be the special powers of Rip's mask, the tales weaved from Ben's hair, or the forces emanating from Sheed's Sun tattoo. 

But the biggest myth of all is the one that Heat fans and Nets fans and Cavs fans are buying into, the one that says the Piston's won't go back to the NBA Finals this year.  After seeing them play Sunday, I'm having a hard time believing in that one. 

I'd rather believe that Carlos Delfino is Jimmy Fallon's long lost cousin.

HI JIMMY

I'd believe it if somebody told me that Tayshaun's arms are so long he can stand at one basket and touch someone all the way at the other basket.

CONDOR MAN

I'll believe that before I believe the Pistons aren't going to the finals.

THE REAL COLUMBUS OF THE CLIPPER SHIP

This isn't the first rodeo.   It just seems like it.  Not since 1976, when they were the Buffalo Braves, have the Clippers even won a playoff series.  Let's face it.  We're talking about the worst team collectively over the last thirty years in the entire NBA.  So, why will the worst team in the NBA for many years go on to suddenly win an NBA championship this year?

First of all, let me just say, I'm not just willing to go out on a very skinny high-perched limb in predicting that the Clippers will win it all, I'm willing to bet the farm on it (I don't have much of a farm, unless you consider the one with ants in it, so this won't be so hard to #### if I have to eat my words later).

So, why the Clippers will not only get to the NBA Finals but win the whole dang thing...

On top of Elton Brand's phenomenal play, two legit three point sharpshooters in Mobley and Rad, a center in Kaman so adorable you just wanna grab him in the pearls like Reggie (or maybe not), a player who's just begun to play like he's Magic Bird in Livingston, a guy in Maggette who drives and gets to the line better than anyone in the league, the best and craziest fans (some who wear blue and red suits), on top of all that, it's...

Sam Cassell -- One need only look at this year's Timberwolves to see how obvious it is that Sammy means a lot to his teams making the playoffs.  Can't find the answer there, look back to when he played for the Bucks.  Sam Cassell was the key to putting Milwaukee in the playoff mix after a drought of many years.  Before that, the Nets needed Sam to get them back to the playoffs.  Before that, Sam changed "choke city" to "clutch city" when he helped put the Rockets in the playoffs and win the whole dang thing.  Twice.

He's like the magical little ugly good luck charm alien that every team needs to win. 

It's really no secret.  The Clippers recognize the importance of Sam.  Most teams do.  Most everyone does.  Bill Simmons of Page 2 certainly does.

So, more as to why Sam's the key to the Clippers and, more specifically, why they will win the finals:

MY BOOKEND THEORY: The other thing is that I believe as we're nearing the end of Sam's career, he needs to bookend what he helped to do in Houston.  Start a career with a championship, end a career with a championship.  It can happen and will.  It's the way every hollywood movie begins and ends. 

MY ACTUAL PROPHECY THEORY:  Sam told me so himself a long time ago. 

The season after Houston won the Finals the first time, I had the pleasure of meeting Sam following a Cavs-Rockets game in a Houston's Bennigans next to the Summit where my best friend happened to be a bartender.  Sam was such a pleasant guy that after the initial shock of actually talking to Sam wore off, I felt like I could've been talking to anyone, anyone that is with a big ego for such a small size relative to other basketball players.  I can't remember what Sam said to me. All I remember was Kenny Smith came over and interrupted us and brought Sam over to a booth where three women sat.  No joke. 

But I imagine that if we would've continued talking I would've told him my two favorite teams were the Rockets for the obvious reasons of being from that area and the Clippers because they were the first basketball team I played for at age 10 in the Little Dribblers league.  The Clippers went to the finals and lost but we did not have Sam Cassell.  And then Sam would've told me yeah that's right.   When the Clippers get Sam Cassell they'll win the Finals. 

Okay, it's sort of a semi-actual prophecy theory, but I really did meet Sam and he likes the Bennigan's Monte Cristo.

So, we shall see who wins the finals this year.  It looks to be an all LA series and an all Texas series which is the best of both worlds for me since I live in LA and am from Texas.

What about the East?  Who cares.  No really, I like the Pistons and think they only stand in their own way.

Pistons vs. Clippers  -- It could happen.

Clippers in 6 -- C'mon, it could happen.

Sam hitting that clutch three-pointer in the final minutes.  It has happened...and will happen again...or I'm prepared to eat big crow.