Lady Fate has made her choice of duelists; The Oracle remains mum on the victor.  Therefore, I retain my self-appointed role of:

Super Bowl XL AMBASSADOR OF AMBIVALENCE!!

Today I observe the Realm...

The Seahawks & The Steelers have been welcomed into the House of Lions.  The revelry has begun.  Evidenced in that I have learned what it means to swing the Towelle Terrible'.  'Tis good fun!  Much like folk dancing...

...Oh, do Pardon...  The Ambassador must momentarily attend to her other duties...

(crosses to window)  EUNUCH ROSENHAUS!!!  How DARE thee cross mine eyesight!  Return at once to TENDING THE LEPER!!!!!!!

...Truly, that eunuch must be cursed to continually beg for coin so...

Which reminds.  Vermin have been eradicated from the city walls.  Apparently, Devious Menfolk have discovered that the phrase "Big Ben" does magick the maidens... hmm, a thought indeed!... (fanning self) ...We uncovered one such Roethlisberger imposter and subsequently had him...

(to quibbling aides) WHAT NOW?!!!... (sighs) Very well...

My spin advisors tell me to refrain from using such words as "beheaded."

Rest assured, we have also taken precautions that discourage any wardrobe trickery from Sir Jagger...

(to self, wringing skirts)  BAH!!! Woman, what have you done!!!!!.... please burn from my brain the image of that devil-sympathizing jester DISROBED... aarrrrrrgh... (deep breath) ...a meditation on beauty to purge the vile thought...

Aaaah... (sighs) To think on Master Jurevicius.  Truest of Gentlemen, Masterfully named... the kind of man always in favor with the Ambassador... Joe... Jurevicius... Rings well on the tongue... Jure-viciiius...

(slaps the desk) Grab the quill!!  A Proclamation is in order!!

*Ahem*  Should enough Mead pass my lips, I will dare to fondle the fine pectorals of Master Jurevicius...  (snaps fingers) Servants!  A cask of Mead at once!!!  (murmuring) ...oh... to act as cartographer to the twin globes of his buttocks... to lap the...

(to entering lady-in-waiting)  Just in time! Oh, do loosen my corset... (wriggling) I seem to have breathing difficulties of a sudden..   WHAT say you?..... Truth?!?.... Then re-tighten the laces, already...

Good Public, the Pope apparently has taken umbrage with the fact that I have debunked his teachings on the Seahawk.  Fool believes it to be real, rather than the Fantastical Powerhouse Symbol it is*... Really!! (tsks) A man of his station must learn to keep his mythologies straight...

(as she exits) HA!  Just for that, I intend to attack his understanding of the 12th Man whilst I am there....

 

 

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MCLioness:  Well,  the Ambassador seems to suffer a bit from megalomania these days!!  Rest assured, she will fare well with the Pope, as she has proof of her claims.*

As for myself, I wish to honor those that have traveled to the Realm in past times and those who have opened their doors to me.  Truly, I am a peon with my feet on the ground, reading bright constellations of artistry and genius.

Even in my quiet times of late, I have found much to enjoy, many positive words.

A Detroit Lioness is a fighter by birthright and learns optimism in adversity, but some are not so favored...

Please keep a kind thought to Other Dwellers of the Realm for whom The Oracle has recently foretold loss... thank you.

 

 

With the last of my favorites' demise this past weekend, I take solace in the fact that I've lowered my risk of heart attack.  I've reached a non-partisan state.  Based on this and my actual geographical state, I have appointed myself:

Super Bowl XL AMBASSADOR OF AMBIVALENCE!!

My first action in this capacity is to issue the following:

 

I hereby decree that, regardless of outcomes,the Victors are welcomed in the House of Lions!

Cordial salutations forthwith:

 

Seattle – May you attain the Respect the West Coast Province warrants.  Deeds to my Inamorata of LT shall thusly transfer to you, Sir Alexander, and your Band of Birds.

 

Carolina --  Lore here reveres the renowned Michigan Panthers; I should take offense at your hubris in adopting their familiar.  However, my advisors grant that thou meant no breach...  Our Men didst most operate in secrecy.  I trust you’ll honor the Crest of the Big Cat and thereby, accept your presence in the Realm.

 

Denver – Master Plummer, great tales reach our ears of your Fallen Knight Pat Tillman.  Seek Glory in his memory, oh Valiant Steeds.

 

Pittsburgh --  Lo! Nobleman Bus, your chair at the table remains in Fellowship.  Minstrels await with sonnets should you grasp The Ring.  ‘Twould be most Poetic.  We must speak, as your Coat of Arms is curious…  Pray tell, what sort of beast is this Steeler?

>>><<<

OK.  Enough of that.  Weird that we could see Jake v Jake.  Up until the Giants tanked, my stomach was in knots over the possibilty of Manning v Manning on my home turf...  I'm afraid to see the Wonderlic Twins activate.

>>><<<

I may be the only person on the planet to say this:  Peyton Manning puts me to sleep!  I kid you not...  Jake Delhomme is more my speed. *

>>><<<

Which celebrity children's book would YOU expose the fruit of your loins too? **

Role models!                                          
    Uh, not so much.

>>><<<

 

Someone please entertain me...

 

 

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*  Should you ever watch a game with me, be prepared to issue the phrase, "Would you just SIT DOWN already?!?!!!!" at regular intervals. ***

**  A little late, I know.  But since I mentioned The Giants & twins, this is my Anti--anti-Tiki propaganda.

***  Should you be able capable of issuing humorous & original versions**** of the above phrase at regular intervals -- well, then, c'mon over!

****  Peppering said phrase with four-letter words does not count.

 

 

 

 

*

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[SPOILERS!  Do not read if you are a 24 fan and haven't yet seen the premiere.]

 

Last night, I was a shocked witness to former President David Palmer's  assassination.

I sat through the presentation stunned--   a litlle, squeaky voice inside my head:

      that didn't just happen. that's just not right.

I woke up this morning realizing it all eerily echoed the recent fall of another Palmer.  Cincinnati Bengals QB Carson Palmer.

On Jan. 8, when Steeler's lineman Kimo von Oelhoffen rolled into Carson's left knee, I initially thought little of it.  But then Carson didn't get up; Kimo looked penitent and helpless.  The announcers and crowd were numbed.

I watched the remainder of the game with little satisfaction.  Over and over, I thought:

     that's just not fair.  it shouldn't happen that way.

I felt bad for Palmer, von Oelhoffen & everyone in the stadium.  I hate to see injuries of any kind.  To start the Divisional round watching players drop in Seattle was almost too much.

I like the sounds that accompany football: audibles, grunts, the thud of a caught pass, the crunch of a tackle, a little trash-talkin'.  And when I see a player getting in a ref's face and suddenly being ejected, I think, "Oooo.  Wish I coulda heard what HE said."

But I am thankful I couldn't hear what was happening on the field Wild Card Weekend in Cincinnati.  

Being a lifelong soccer player, I define ligament injuries as "Bad Things Happening to Good People."  Just a couple years ago,  I was three yards away when my close friend and teammate collided with an opponent and rolled to the ground.  Clutching her knee and her ankle, her agony was immediately evident .  Players from both teams formed an instinctive cocoon around her.  Some in close to assess the injury, a teammate offering his hand to squeeze, another running for ice.

The majority of players and the fans kept the right respectful space, bowed their heads and hoped to see her shake it off and get up under her own power.  When her husband and another man carried her off the field to take her to a doctor, everyone applauded.

We continued the game and played hard, but the emotional energy of the game was snuffed.  The thoughts in my head were far more stressful than, "It's not fair." 

How do the NFL pros manage it?  Over the course of their careers, I can't imagine how many moments like that players have seen.   Surgery in almost an assumption, both during and after their sports careers.

There is the relief of human resilience.  Early reports were saying Carson Palmer's injury was career-ending.  Now his ACL and MCL are repaired and he's expected to be back.

My friend also required ligament surgery.  She has since returned to soccer and when we play against the man who collided with her, she gives him a hard time.  It's a shared experience we can laugh about and then it's on the field for fun and business.

So maybe I'll survive the loss of a tv character.

But the phrase "torn MCL" still makes me nauseous.