After squeaking through a fourth-set tiebreak to beat Andy Roddick in the quarterfinals, Novak Djokovic petulantly addressed the New York crowd.
On Tuesday, Roddick made fun of the Serbian's medical self-evaluation, which is starting to sound like Bill Belichick's weekly assessment of Tom Brady. (Probable.) Reading the American's transcript, I laughed out loud... Vintage Roddick.
But Djokovic apparently took serious offense, and post-match with Michael Barkann fired back Roddick's line about his "16 injuries." Barkann tried to mitigate the 21-year-old's message, but the world number three continued on.
Now I am not particularly a Roddick fan. And there's been times I really didn't like his attitude. But I have always given him props for his sense of humor. And intelligence. Even after his semifinal dismantling in Australian Open 2007 (Roger Federer beat him 6-4, 6-0, 6-2), the top American displayed grace in sarcasm.
And in addressing the Serbian's spate of injuries, Roddick was FUN-NY. Anyone who knows Roddick's shirt-sleeve shrug and shimmy of his philanthropy wrist band knows his propensity for lampooning all, even himself.
James Thurber said, "The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself."
Roddick takes it to all three levels. Djokovic, on the other hand -- barely a one-trick pony.
A year ago in Flushing Meadows, Djokovic endeared himself to the U.S. Open crowd through his post-match imitations of players, including Roddick, Maria Sharapova and Rafael Nadal.
Thursday evening he alienated the crowd. Even when they started to boo, he continued to whinge.
Back in 2007, Djokovic's charades were amusing for a round or two. Though not original material. Many of the ATP and WTA players imitate each other to entertain crowds at charity and exhibition events. It's a natural extension of watching the game. I've seen so much Safin that I reflexively mimic part of his forehand swing when taking a swig from my water bottle. (Yes, I know that's odd. It's also messy.)
Tour veteran Jonas Bjorkman is widely considered the master of imitations. It's something the soon-to-be retired Swede has done with class. His jocularity is affectionate* and reflected in his long term of service on the ATP Players Council.
In contrast, Djokovic's send-ups are retrospectively looking mean-spirited.
Up until now, I have been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. But there is a shade of bitterness in his actions. For example, his chest-thumping is not the hearty joy of a Marcos Baghdatis, rather a jeering, chin-jutting arrogance. It's both a preening and an isolating gesture, the latter when directed toward his family.
During that match, Djokovic at times looked dispirited. I suspect part of the reason was that the crowd warmed to the perpetual hustle of his Spanish opponent. They were backing Robredo over the course of those long five sets. The Spaniard kept his performance to athletic display and the fans roared.
Djokovic craves attention and crowd support. I believe he was playing a sympathy angle. I'm not saying he is 100% healthy, but his post-match attempts at self-effacement fell flat.
Reflecting on the tournament so far, I would say the Serbians (including the also dramatic and oft-injured Jelena Jankovic) are prone more than David Duchovny.
Jankovic would probably laugh.
In the latest era of players, there hasn't been a clearcut villain, man or woman. There have been nefarious incidents, but not a consistent foe. Some would cite Lleyton Hewitt -- in 2006, GQ placed him tenth on their most hated athlete list -- but I've found him to be likably scrappy, cocky, and yes, occasionally surly. He's had some definite missteps, but mostly I'd call him pugnacious rather than contemptible.
Besides, becoming a family man has mellowed him. And has he ever had a showdown like this?
No matter what spin is now put on Djokovic's immediate on-court reaction, the crowd won't easily forget. They're good at remembering...
Across the net from The Djoker in the semifinals stands world number two Roger Federer.
In the Opening Night parade of past champions, the defending champion -- who has won it four years running -- got the biggest applause. Though Swiss, he is a native son.
Who is not in his past intimidating form. He's a flawed hero. In the fourth round, Igor Andreev pushed him to five grueling sets, just over three-and-a-half hours. But Fed's reaction at the conclusion showed the public how much he wants to make it five in a row and claim the last Grand Slam of the year.
In his post-match interviews, You're Still The One by Orleans plays over the speakers. This is in acknowledgement of the struggles the former world number one has had all year.
Which began with his semifinal loss at the Australian Open to... Novak Djokovic.
It would be even better if Fed busts out his all-black get up again. He'd make a classic Batman.
The LPGA has kicked up a kerfuffle with their decision to make English proficiency a requirement for players who have been on tour for at least two years. The penalty for noncompliance by the end of 2009 is suspension. Their rationale for this standard is that the tour is a business, and a player's job is equally to entertain as it is to win.
There are legitimately serious arguments from many angles on this divisive topic.*
But aside from this dictum being poorly communicated, it shows a lack of brainstorming and creativity. Did they stop at just one idea?! The LPGA is missing several promotional opportunities waiting right under their visors! One only has to tap a few relevant business models and nearby sources to discover this:
10) The Beijing Model Bob Ford of The Philadelphia Inquirerdraws a parallel between the LPGA English requirement and the Olympic lip-synching flap. Beijing officials defended their choice by saying they picked the best voice and the best entertainer, emphasizing the opportunity for both girls as opposed to the exclusion of one. A similar balance could be struck here: the LPGA could issue a request that the sound-bite ready, native English-speaking golfers play better. That should make the papers!
9) The Anna Model Players claim that no one wants to be the Kournikova of golf. But why not when you can recycle the name? Yes, I am talking about Anna Rawson. Not that the sex symbol thing worked well for Laura Baugh. But much like Anna K. inspired an army of Russian girls to dominate tennis, Rawson could encourage her countrywomen Down Under to dream of the LPGA Tour as a way to escape their current plight -- the Urban Male Shortage.
8) The Daly Model These women are trying waaayy too hard to be proper and glamorous... and stable. The aforementioned Baugh might have been a star on her own Planet -- a svelte, not exactly Everywoman version, of course. But she's sober and retired. In this era of MySpace, there must be some reality aspirant ready to bare her flaws. Seriously, Long John's popularity is astronomical.
7) The Three P's of Fashion As in Payne Stewart/Ian Poulter/Jesper Parnevik. The answer is obvious; the LPGA is just not taking full advantage. Christina Kim. With a personality as lively as her pants.
SHE LIKES CHUCK PALAHNIUK AND PIGTAILS
6) Take Back the Coif Speaking of pigtails, a signature hairstyle is now more a marker of men's athletics than women's. This is another area where the ladies could lighten up. (And I don't mean go blonde.) Follicular activity makes for good copy. Just ask Troy Polamalu. Or Ocho Cinco. The golfers should leave the scrunchies to the soccer set... Who says dreadlocks are the domain of roller derby?
A LITTLE TWEAKING AND THIS LOOK IS READY FOR THE LINKS!
5) Six Degrees of Manning, Peyton Though his hair is, at best, nondescript, thirty seconds with this man is worth more than Warhol's fifteen minutes. One commercial with the Indy QB and you're YouTube forever!
4)Calling Up Numbers Getting back to Ocho Cinco, just think of
all the media mayhem that could be caused by the players wearing
numbered jerseys on the course. Numbers are a universal language. Oh, think of the galleries... the headlines... the catfight over the number 10.
3)Fancy Footwork NBA. WTA. IRL. The LPGA better act quick to beat the PGA to Dancing with the Stars! There has yet to be a pro or former pro golfer on the U.S. reality series, but athletes are shaking up the competition. Celebrities of all kinds have been waltzing in their current glory, or reviving careers. But since Jerry Rice's runner-up appearance in Season Two, athletes have been rocking the top spot. The latest winner was Kristi Yamaguchi, a woman who knows a thing or two about Q Score.
2) Bring on the Big Screen Don't stop at the small screen. Hollywood has rebooted Bond. And Batman. It's time to give the golf film genre a feminine twist. Can't you see Caddyshack remade with Anna Faris and Sarah Silverman? And Tin Cup has Chelsea Handler written all over it... Quick, get me someone who can sign Jane Krakowski on for Happy Gilmore!!!
1)The Ichiro Model Let's think about how we define proficiency, shall we? Many native English-speakers just churn out sports cliches. On the other end of the spectrum, Suzuki's utterings are worthy of publication.
At the very least, next time bring Ichiro's dog Ikky in for an opinion.
* My own more serious thoughts to follow at a later date.
Born nine months apart. Their hometowns in China separated by about the distance from New York City -- where they are playing right now -- to Columbus, Ohio. But the two women who have been producing firsts for Chinese tennis are currently thriving in close quarters, and in similar fashion.
Along with perhaps Germany’s Anna-Lena Groenefeld, they remain the biggest unseeded threats in the women’s singles draw at the U.S. Open.
They’re not too far from seeded themselves. Na Li and Jie Zheng are respectively 36th and 37th in the WTA Singles Rankings, 26th and 27th in this year’s Race to the Championships. Both are working up from injuries that dropped their rankings in 2007.
ZHENG (far left) HOLDS A 4-0 ADVANTAGE OVER LI (center)
Back in Beijing, each started their Olympic campaigns with significant upsets. Li topped former U.S. Open champion Svetlana Kuznetsova in two sets and Zheng beat 11th-seeded Agnes Szavay in three. The stopper for both ladies was Dinara Safina, the eventual silver medalist.
The 25-year-old Zheng had the misfortune of meeting the Russian first, in the third round. (However, she won Bronze in Doubles, yet another accolade shared with long-time partner Zi Yan.) Li didn’t face Safina until the semis, earning that challenge after ousting Venus Williams in the quarters.
Fast forward to the U.S. Open, and they’re again busting the bracket. Each has clipped a seed. In the first round, Li bounced back from an opening set she described as "playing a wall" to defeat 24th seed Shahar Peer in three. Zheng more easily dispatched Anabel Medina Garrigues of Spain, 6-1, 6-4.
Zheng follows up that second round match to open Day 5 with a Center Court date with the highest remaining seed, Jelena Jankovic. Considering that the Chengdu native -- as a wildcard -- bounced the top seed from the last Grand Slam, this is not a necessarily a daunting prospect. (Yes, fellas, Ana Ivanovic is out early -- again. Hantuchova & Kirilenko are gone, too.)
Li's quadrant has opened up a bit more with the losses of Anna Chakvetadze and Francesca Schiavone. But should she ease through the third round, her likely fourth round opponent would be Olympic champion Elena Dementieva.
Beyond individual results on court, both women have been cultivating a future for their country as well. After giving required money to the Chinese Tennis Association, Zheng donated the rest of her Wimbledon winnings to help victims of the Sichuan earthquake.
And so far only time. Though if they continue to scatter seeds, they'll meet in the bottom half semi, guaranteeing the first Chinese Grand Slam singles finalist.
Tennis in 2008 has gone to the flip side! Topsy Turvy! Inside out! What was once ineffable is now fallible. A little tunage might not turn things right, but here’s a suggested mix to make sense of the upside-down nature of this year’s pro season as it affects Flushing Meadows.
Brethren in Battle:Who Wants to Live Forever? - Queen
This song crafted by Queen for the movie The Highlander has its
own immortality, with renditions done by several, including Katharine
McPhee and Sarah Brightman. Sure, this soaring arrangement tucked into
the shmoopy, emotional heart of the film, but the Queen original
harkens you back to the plot, which is about kicking #### when you have
to. Even when that #### belongs to your bud.
The trickiest countrywoman matchup matters most to France. Former world number one Amelie Mauresmo faces Nathalie Dechy, who was points away from taking out then (and current) number one Ana Ivanovic in the second round of Wimbledon. Mauresmo is seeded 32nd, but Dechy just ousted her last week in Cincinnati.
Across hemispheres, Argentina will be watching intense veteran Guillermo Canas try to tame 19-year-old Juan Martin Del Potro, the hottest player on tour who didn’t go to Beijing. He’s won the last four tournaments he’s entered.
Bracket Busters:Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash/Social Distortion
Accept it, they’re both good. Ring of Fire: n. what happens when unseeded talent -- aka a dangerous floater -- gets plugged into the draw alongside a top seed. Twelfth-ranked Richard Gasquest starts out against German Tommy Haas, who has made it to the quarterfinals in New York the last two years. If you tap the Frenchman to live up to his rank, play Cash. If you pick the upset, go punk. Expect to hit replay, because this could be a marathon.
Blake’s Block:Till I Collapse - Eminem
Another countrymen duel. James Blake takes on former number one junior Donald Young in the first evening marquee match on Arthur Ashe. This is a matchup of speed. Which is good preparation for the Harvard man for what he’ll need to make it through his quadrant. Technically, it should be called Rafael Nadal’s quadrant, but Blake has a winning record against the new world number one. Blake would probably tell you that he’s not looking that far ahead. But I am. He's done two things this year he's never done before: a) come back from two sets down to win and b) beat Roger Federer. While you’re at it, go play the 8 Mile soundtrack; Eminem is one of Blake's faves.
Rabbit is talking to you, James.
Bookended:What Do You Go Home To? - Explosions in the Sky
Over in the Novak Djokovic quadrant, the two highest seeds face similar first round quandaries, crafty veteran Frenchmen. Even though Arnaud Clement fared much better at Wimbledon than the Djoker, expect the Serbian to win.
On the other hand, an injured Andy Roddick must battle magic -- Fabrice Santoro in his final US Open. If the American makes it through, he could see rising Latvian Ernests Gulbis next. The draw has often been kind to Andy. It doesn’t seem to be the case this time. The swirling instrumentals of his fellow Austinites Explosions in the Sky could be interpreted as soothing... or chaotic. At any rate, Roddick’s luck seems to be holding in the romance department, which helps, at least, who he goes home to...
Balls and Butterflies:Sleeps with Butterflies - Tori Amos
A limited edition US Open organic cotton tee designed by supermodel mom, Heidi Klum. Is it turnabout for Serena’s forays into fashion? Or perhaps encouragement for Ashley Harkleroad to keep her shirt on. Actually, a portion of the profits go to Unisphere, Inc., the non-profit organization that maintains and preserves Flushing Meadows Corona Park. I’m all for that, but for some reason I am boggled by the tennis ball-butterflies. The song selection is self-explanatory. The title to this entry is all kinds of wrong... You're welcome.
PSYCHED UP OR PSYCHEDELIC?
Big Brother’s Big Shadow:Killer or Crazy - Seal
How poetic to follow up Heidi Klum’s creative effort with her husband’s. And perhaps Marat Safin’s younger sister Dinara Safina will follow up on her US Open Series win with her breakthrough Slam -- at the same site her older brother won his first major eight years ago. Poetry. The women’s silver medalist is looking good for it; she has momentum, health and a pretty good draw.
... I tried. I really did. But I just had to name Marat* first. I would naturally be quite delighted with a sibling tandem championship two weeks from now. Symmetry. Delighted is an understatement. Mr. Klum may not be referring to biological brothers and sisters in the former song, but it works. And in the latter, he means the good kind of crazy. That works for the mercurial Safin clan too.
Battered:Sympathetic - Seether
Safina has a good draw, even though she is in Ivanovic’s quadrant, because the number one seed is nursing a thumb injury. The Williams sisters never seem to be completely healthy. Jelena Jankovic styles strapping as much as eyeliner. Maria Sharapova withdrew from the tournament due to a shoulder injury. As the song says, I’m feelin’ ya, ladies. The WTA ranks are unpredictable these days, which makes me long for months gone by...
Belgian Waffling: Almost anything by Tim McGraw
Dear Justine, you are still defending champion here. Doesn’t it seem weird to be retired? And Kim, Lindsay Davenport is back after giving birth. Does that give you any ideas? In hopes that the young Belgians would take a page from Brett Favre’s many books, I am recommending the oeuvre of his favorite musical artist. Except for I Like It, I Love It, which got more airtime than Favre’s unretirement.
Bean-Stalking:La Tortura - Shakira & Alejandro Sanz
Lacking the consistency the Belgians brought to the majors has left me undecided on a new favorite female player. However, one measuring stick has been met. In a time during which the women’s top ten averaged taller than the men’s top ten, Justine Henin proved she could, at 5’6”, power up with the statuesque. Currently, Slovakian Dominika Cibulkova, at 5’3” is ranked 18th in the world and has scalped Venus Williams, Elena Dementieva, Jelena Jankovic and Anna Chakvetadze this year. And Cibulkova cites Clijsters as her role model. The petite Shakira can belt it out, too. I suggest the duet because Sanz is sexy... for a non-Russian, non-ATP Pro.
Bottoms Up:Lost - Coldplay
But arguably the most mindbending upending is Roger Federer at the bottom of the draw. This eventuality has long been announced and prepared for. Yet it’s still difficult to grasp, at least for people with leanings toward the Swiss. Could this in fact be what the maestro wanted, even if just subconsciously?
He had been alluding to the so-called monster he created, the expectation to win everything. Now he is echoing those comments in reference to Nadal. After all, only the world number one has that unique pressure, and nobody ever had it like Fed. I’m not saying that’s the only thing at work, but I have to wonder...
Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost...
Not that I believe Roger purposefully lost, but I think he eased up a bit. He was forced to in the beginning of the year. He needed some sort of break & his body delivered that in the form of mono. Since then, he hasn't found his highest level. Something he made look easy to maintain for several years, though it obviously is not.
Milwaukee’s newest ace CC Sabathia recently made the request that his initials be forever portrayed sans periods. This announcement made a minor ripple in sports reporting, a moderate whirl in editing circles, and a cannonball ker-plunky splash in the literary forensics community.
Especially when documentation surfaced to support pet theories. Trade conditions of the Milwaukee Brewers required the southpaw to immerse himself in art therapy as part of his adjustment from the American League to the National League.
As part of his transition, Sabathia wrote a pastiche of Hist Whist, by the American poet ee cummings. His resulting freeform homage was leaked by an unknown source:
Hits WHiP
CC Sabathia
Hits WHiP
little ghost-swings
tip-foul
sinker-scowl
middle pitchy
switch missed singling
job wins
love-the-LOB stump-a-Schwab
fiddle poppin’ Papi!
road wind speeds
feeds
wriggly Cubby housies
this shuttling
Cy hustle and bunt and
slideslideslider
whiff
wits rook out with the old Yankfan
talk the third base whose woes
what he’ ll pay to her
lawyerly knows
Kazmanian devil threw
Dioner crouch
and Evan
no-devil rays
teams
catching
no-devil
level
no-devil
level
wheeeK/9
This lyrical piece linked with Sabathia’s moniker revision has convinced some that the pitcher is the poet Cummings reincarnated.
Bo Heemian, officer in the Second Cummings Society, praised the hurler’s devotion to the original spirit of Hist Whist. “Some may erroneously protest the capitalization in CC’s piece, but Cummings believed in free orthography... Besides, if you drop the caps to “whip,” we’re in an entirely different genre.”
“Selection of Cumming’s Halloween-themed poem is CC’s way of exorcizing his demons of last October,” Sabathia’s art the####, Elsa Cassidy said. “He also addresses a shift in rivals and his absence in the All-Star Game this year. Most importantly, he shows confidence in his new ball club and his contribution.”
Echoing the AL Cy Young race last year, Sabathia has strong competition in letters. A significant faction of the Second Cummings Society believes they have found their best candidate in Beyonce Knowles.
As evidence, they present the similarity between a segment of Cumming’s i like my body when it is with your:
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
To the mezzo-soprano’s big finish of the extended remix for Get Me Bodied:
I touch yo body while you touch my
body we're touchin' bodies tonight
(we're gettin' bodied)
“Like Bey, Cummings was the ultimate hyphenate! He was a literary, as well as visual artist. She’s made The Frug relevant again,” contemporary poet Laurie Ott said. “And despite what Dr. Dre says, I’m hot on a paper trail to prove that Cummings coined the word ‘bootylicious.’”
Literary detectives are scouring
Cummings’ archives for usage of “badonkadonk.”
With a sassy head snap, the Sports Illustrated cover girl herself offered some advice to the ball player, “Pitch to the left, to the left. Everything you own in the box to the left.”
The newly fermented Brewer has also attracted the attention of the father of the poetry slam, whose website is incidentally: slampapi.com.
Sabathia declined to comment, letting his slider and scribblings speak for themselves.
However, last year’s other AL Cy Young contender offered a prosaic thought on the race between CC and B, “I don’t get paid to make those ####’ decisions.”
Josh Beckett’s remark has reportedly stirred the Succeeding Samuel Society.
A Wimbledon official admitted yesterday that the twilight hour impaired the ability to see and what ultimately decided the championship was Rafael Nadal’s flop.*
“This was such an incredible match... no one on Center Court except for the players ever wanted the tennis to end,” the anonymous source said. “But when flashbulbs from the stands revealed Nadal prone on the grass at the conclusion of the fifth set, we had to give him the win.”
But this new revelation in London has given cause for investigation. It has been well-documented that flopping can affect the outcome of an athletic event.
Flopping in the NBA is so prevalent that it has practically been elevated to a contest itself. And while known by alternate names, this questionable tactic is pervasive in other team sports as well.
It is referred to as “diving” in hockey, an activity more suited to water that is not frozen. Another matter of enthusiastic escalation in this already contact-heavy sport: when one cannot connect with jawbone, hit the ice.
But this form of acting perhaps finds its greatest stage on the pitch. So much so that FIFA, the governing body of soccer, has taken a stand against what it calls “simulation.” The new rules can apply to embellishment on-field, as well the unique symbiotic relationship between soccer players & porn stars.
At first glance, Nadal’s hammy back-smacker seems contrary action for a man who likes to test the authenticity of his trophies like a Deadwood prospector.
However, further inquiry shows the young Mallorcan star is influenced by both the theatrics of his countrymen and the man he had -- until that tumble to the earth late Sunday in London -- lost to in the finals at Wimbledon.
DID FELICIANO LOPEZ OF SPAIN WIN HIS FOURTH ROUND FIVE-SETTER AGAINST MARCOS BAGHDATIS WITH HIS POST-MATCH FLAILING?
HAVE CHAIR UMPIRES BEEN GLORIFYING ROGER FEDERER'S FIVE-TIME CRUMPLE?
So while the flop in the non-contact sport of tennis has yet to come under great scrutiny, it too may explain some results, as well as lack of, in recent years...
SAFIN'S MISSION: Marathon Marat's superior position on
hardcourts could be too suggestive for Roland Garros & The All-England Club.
POOR FORM: Andy Roddick dared to drop
after only winning three sets at the U.S. Open Men's Final in 2003.
The breach of unwritten netiquette may have cost him since.
*This isn’t meant to paint me a Fed apologist. When the going gets tough, the tough blog absurd.
For me, the Men’s Final in action was cause for joy; the outcome a bit of pain. I expected to wake up today feeling like I did the morning after Peyton Manning won his Super Bowl ring. However, I now suspect the latter sensation was actually a hangover.
New Wimbledon Champion? Yes. New Number One? No. For the calendar year thus far, true... it is the Spaniard.
But given so little betweenFederer and Nadal over the long course of Sunday, I think we need to see the follow-up before we label Rafa the best. I don’t think Federer could have asked for a better challenge to his career. His response -- on-court & off, both yesterday and onward -- will help define his legacy.
Now for the more obvious... Contrary to popular speculation, I did not commit jigai after Safin’s semifinal loss, or the threat of competition for his affection. As a matter of fact, I am practicing my flop in expectation to win over Marat myself!
Today, POINTS ON THE BOARD has the privilege of a moment with Nenad Zimonjic** of Serbia, who is partnering Daniel Nestor of Canada to contest Wimbledon 2008’s Men’s Doubles Final. This despite the former breaking his wrist two days ago.
MC: Nenad, great to have you here today. Serbia has become tennis’ ‘It’ country and was poised to assault, if not outright dominate the fortnight here at Wimbledon. Many expected to see the reigning ladies’ French Open and men’s Australian Open champions in the finals this weekend. Yet only you remain -- the elder statesman, the last Serb standing. How do you explain this?
NZ: I don’t know... you win a Grand Slam title, get your own stamp and suddenly you are no longer hungry.
MC: If I am not mistaken, Nenad, you have won three Grand Slam titles -- in mixed doubles, including one this year -- and were also honored with a postage stamp in your home country.
NZ: True, but from the moment the stamps were issued, everything changed. You’ll notice the award of denomination is inversely proportionate to the players' depth in the tournament here.
Djokovic is put on the most expensive stamp -- worth 46 dinars (that’s about 80 cents to you) -- and he thinks he’s on level with Federer. Then he loses second round to a player ranked 75th in the world.
MC: That wasn’t just any player, though... that was Marat Saf...
Here on the lawns, she almost exits in the second match like Novak, but a lucky netcord and six less dinars last one more round.
MC: Well, let’s see... Janko Tipsarevic, at 20 dinars, is on the stamp worth the least. So according to your theory of inverse proportions, he should have gone farther than you.
NZ: Yes, but he did well beating Roddick and Tursunov to reach the fourth round. He is still striving, yet is just a baby with much to learn.... he still believes nasal strips work.
MC: I’m still not sure I believe your stamp theory. For example, I can’t imagine the men pictured on American paper money grousing over their respective printings...
NZ: Exactly why you should understand denomination! The U.S. order of value is quite good. The gentleman on your largest bill signed your Declaration of Independence, plus he was a Postmaster and well-known to the ladies of France.
MC: I don’t see why...
NZ: By the way, I do not get your nickname ‘Dead Presidents.’ No wonder you are not smarter than fifth graders.
MC: Uhh... ok then, back to your theory. The fourth round was also the end for Jelena Jankovic, who shares a stamp value with you at 30 dinars.
NZ: Yes, one step more than Ana, so she fits the model. I don’t quite understand her issue with the outer courts, though. The Woodies played on Court 18 several times this tournament, so this is legendary ground... these old men don't need helicopters.
Maybe she is too lazy to walk to the court, but on-court, she fought again through injury, so this is good. Shows she’s still hungry for a higher postal rate.
NZ: Yes, I fell and broke it on the first day of the match Thursday. This is nothing. I have stared across the net at the great Martina Navratilova and won.
MC: Ah, in Australia 2004, the first of your Mixed Doubles trophies! You have a shot today at your first men’s Grand Slam championship win, as well as your first Wimbledon title.
NZ: Twice before, I have made it to the final here; this time I will win.
MC: If so, your partner Daniel Nestor will have a career Grand Slam!
NZ: I should be shown serving! I have one of the hardest serves in the doubles!!! Why is the Canadian in front?! ... I look small; we’re the same height, you know!!... I am not even shown holding a racquet...
MC: Perhaps we should conclude this interview...
NZ: That reminds me, there’s the matter of your Latin alphabet... why is the ‘Z’ last?! This is not the way in Cyrillic...
DANIEL NESTOR AND NENAD ZIMONJIC (right,shown looking larger than the Canadian)
Note also Zimonjic's broken wrist braced to allow play in the continuation of their semi-final match against Leander Paes and Lukas Dlouhy.
*The Wimbledon 2008 Men’s Doubles Final has many compelling recommendations. It is the final Wimbledon for Jonas Bjorkman -- former world number four, one of my favorite players and one of the most-decorated in doubles -- who has announced his impending retirement.
On the opposite side of the net, Daniel Nestor has a chance for his career Grand Slam in Doubles, having already won the Australian, the US Open and the French, in that order.
