The Melbourne fortnight went by too quickly, so now is time for pavlova, Australian shiraz and a little reminiscing.

Heavens Above!  Sublime... the semi-final between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick.  In the third game of the second set, the world number one broke the American at love with a series of passing shots.  One included a miraculous get at the Swiss' feet while on the run for a crosscourt winner.  By the third set, Roddick was so frustrated that he fired off a near-expletive that had him immediately apologizing to the deity he evoked.

Things are looking a little fuzzy...  While the newest "New Balls Please" campaign was just launched featuring some of the hottest youngsters in the ATP's Top 50, three out of the four semi-finalists were originals from the old "New Balls Brigade."  Roger Federer, Andy Roddick and Tommy Haas were part of the 2000-1 promotions.  Fernando Gonzalez, at age 26, is also of their "veteran generation."  Since the old balls still have it over the new balls, they may have to bring back the "These balls still bounce." slogans as well.

Kimmie still wins.  "Aussie" Kim Clijsters has been a fan favorite Down Under and was one of the favorites to win the championship after her fast start in Sydney.  The Daphne Akhurst Memorial Cup would have been a nice trophy to add in the Belgian's final year on tour, but Maria Sharapova stopped her in the semis.  However, the WTA launched a new initiative called ACES Race 2007, which rewards players for promoting the sport.  It's no surprise that Clijsters, who won the ITWA's Ambassador for Tennis Award in 2005, was the early leader as of January 15.

So does Fernando... one of the OTHER Fernandos. In the first round, Spaniard Fernando Verdasco was down two sets and in a third set tiebreak with Paul Henri Mathieu when the Frenchman turned his ankle and had to retire. Out of concern, Verdasco accompanied Mathieu -- who exited the court in a wheelchair -- to the hospital.

Going the Distance.  Several athletes, such as breakthrough player Lucie Safarova of the Czech Republic, embodied the Australian spirit by sporting the host country's colors of green and gold.  But fashion-foward Serena Williams knows the value of accessories and added a pair of earrings perhaps inspired by the dot paintings of Papunya Tula. This style of comtemporary Aboriginal art has been popularized by painters including Clifford Possum Tjapaltjarri.

Get Some Guts, Girls!  I'm tempted to credit the earrings plus Serena's sheer talent for her title win.  But it also seemed the ladies cowed to Serena's reputation and competitiveness. The exception being Shahar Peer, who pushed the American in the quarterfinals only to lose, 6-3, 2-6, 6-8.  The Israeli player is also working off her mandatory military service and excels at sharpshooting tests.  Nadia Petrova and Nicole Vaidisova should consider training that will teach them how to pull the trigger. 

Speaking of guts.  We don't have to miss Hardenne, but we missed Henin.

Most Dominant Player You've Never Heard Of.  Esther Vergeer of the Netherlands, winner in Women's Wheelchair Singles & Doubles

Best Rivalry You Don't See.  America's Bryan Brothers versus Jonas Bjorkman and Max Mirnyi.  Where was the Doubles coverage, ESPN?

So where the bloody hell are you?  Said in the nicest possible "No Worries!" way, of course!  This controversial slogan is Tourism Australia's marketing campaign.  As if I hadn't already wanted to go!  They had me at 5,500 lbs. of curry consumed in a fortnight!

So what the bloody hell are  you thinking?  During the first round match between Marat Safin and Benjamin Becker, Ball Girl #111 was observed pinching Marat's used and discarded towels between her thumb and forefinger and holding them out away from her body as if she was afraid of boy cooties.  I would have been stuffing all of those sweaty terrycloth treasures down my shirt... and my shorts -- I'd even be wrapping them around my head like a turban -- to spirit away after the match.