In my family, ripping is a year-round sport. No one is spared. Though my mom, not one given to making many mistakes, has a perennial Steel Curtain-like D.
My dad, on the other hand, consistently faltered in the warm-weather seasons. For that was the time his three divisional opponents -- my mom, my brother & myself -- could unite to prey on one particularly glaring weakness.
My dad, then Master of the Grass, would go out to tackle the yard in a uniform of white undershirt, plaid shorts...
And BLACK SOCKS!
Once upon a time (according to a yarn I read*) a college basketball coach was asked how he made a time-pressured personnel decision. He answered, "The first thing I did was cut the guys wearing black socks."
Outside of the office, black socks were a sign of frailty, knits that would fold under pressure. Mockery of my father became such a shorthand that eventually it was just a matter of stocking-laugh.
Now I'm starting to believe he was actually ahead of his time.
Because I have unraveled the mystery of why yet another Master of the Grass is so dominant!!!
IT'S HIS SOCKS!!!!
Of course, at Wimbledon, the world's best athlete is confined to wear white. But this past fortnight on the Flushing Meadows hard courts, the fashion-forward Swiss star earned the nickname "Darth Federer" for his all-black night match get-up.
Even while practicing with boys' junior champ Ricardas Berankis, Fed -- clad in a pale, unkempt tee -- could not forego the dark footwear.
Except for his quarterfinal against American Andy Roddick, Federer was not playing at the top of his form. He lost sets to John Isner and Feliciano Lopez. And the scoreline of 7-6 (4), 7-6 (2), 6-4 in his final against Novak Djokovic is only a straight-set win on paper. Djokovic had nine break point chances and seven set point chances.
Djokovic was a break and 40-0 up in the first set. And then in fifth game of the third, Fed was 0-40 down on his serve.
Where a pair of white socks would have wilted, black socks prevailed.
'Cause when you think about tough men's tennis attire, you think of... Shoes?... Shorts?... Manpris?!??
No, SOCKS!!! If a player's preference is "Boxers" or "Commando," well those have a certain zing (especially when I think about Marat Safin). But Socks, which doubles as a verb, packs the most punch!!!
And evidence supports that the color of the hosiery matters.
As the song says:
White socks, they always get dirty The longer you wear them; the weaker they get Sometimes, I think I shouldn't wash them But something inside me says "Do it right now!"
Black socks, they never get dirty, The longer you wear them the stronger they get! Sometimes I think I should wash them But something keeps telling me No, no, not yet!
Yes, once upon a time, black socks were the marker of mockery, the sign of shaky footing, the stamp of a heel! But perception has been turned inside out:
They're not just for girl scout campfire songs anymore! Members of Lamb of God -- a band hardcore enough to kick each other's #### -- are so convinced of the power of black socks that they double-duty them, cutting them off to fashion arm bands.**
Darth Federer.
My dad now has someone else cut the lawn while he slices blades of grass with a seven-iron instead. He & his black socks just won his golf league and he has already spent his earnings on a new club. Master of the Grass...
And fashion, apparently... Hmmm, I might just have to dig up some new material for ripping. But before I jump back into the fray, I'm going to throw on a pair of black socks.
In this case, Darth is the hero! Though I like the Djoker, too...
Lesse, I think wardrobe verbiage can apply here as well: Shooter slacks at the office. See? Perhaps you should replace "slacks" with "pants" and hope that people fear you dropping their trou as opposed to heavy breathing.
As for you in sport... yes, yes, I see black socks in poker crushing opponents! ;)
...around these parts, when you see someone with the black sox/ shorts combo... it's customary to just shoot them...(discussing the faux pau, is a waste of time) You will receive extra points if the offender was from the NY/ NJ area.
So... the fact that this fashion statement went over so well in Flushing.... should be no suprise.
Chux: LOL! It should be a mandate of life that discussing the faux pas is a waste of time! The shooting bit... well, that can remain a regional choice! Good to see you!
Shooter, poker in black socks gets quite a response from the ladies!
MCLioness
What other superlatives can one put together to describe what Federer has done in the past two weeks ? Won the US Open with immense ease and at the same time the US Open Series to pocket in excess of $2.6m. Not bad for a few weeks of work.
On the women's side Henin proved that she's by far the best female player in the world. And not even Serena or Venus at
their best can now handle her. And that initself is quite an accomplishment.
Yep, top... Federer simply IS superlative! He kinda snuck up on the US Series win, just edging out Blake. I wonder added anymore pressure for him. Not that he needs more, but he seems to thrive on it.
It's good to see Henine happy & healthy. She sets a nice standard with her game & from what they say, many young girls idolize her.
The young pro ladies gave a good showing this tournament!
Dude, I loved this post! Well-written and catchy. Loved the lead-in about the family banter. IMO, some of your best work.
Although my fashion-conscious character the Drama Queen would have had a field day with the garb from an aesthetic point of view, I found it cool. Perhaps Darth is looking to audition for Lamb of God...
TSI!!!! Thank you, thank you! It's a honor to earn a comment from the man who can rock a pair of suspenders like no other! The Drama Queen would be welcome as well! :)
I am inclined to agree with you about the writing: pretty pleased with how this one played out. It's been awhile since I kicked it up a gear!... I am a Safin who aspires to be more Darth!
If Fed did audition, I suspect he would not need those armbands... he could make that guitar bleed! (In a good way.)
Feder is the MCLion...just keep him away from clay.
Even Woods says Federer is the best.
Hmmm, as for the black with black. What else could he do with black shoes?
My day was infamous for wearing shorts, black socks and army green Chuka boots. No one made fun of him since he could tear their heads off.
MCLioness
The standard set by both Federer and Henin throughout the tournament was phenomenal. And the level of sportsmanship shown by the two is certainly what the game is all about.
Serena could learn something from competitors in this respect. Her lack of grace after the loss to Henin was disrespctful to her opponent , the fans and to the game. Once again she shows her lack of class and how immature she still is !
MCLioness
The standard set by both Federer and Henin throughout the tournament was phenomenal. And the level of sportsmanship shown by the two is certainly what the game is all about.
Serena could learn something from competitors in this respect. Her lack of grace after the loss to Henin was disrespctful to her opponent , the fans and to the game. Once again she shows her lack of class and how immature she still is !
Huskers: As much as my family tears on each other, no one has ever torn off a head! But that's a handy rep to have -- gets you a lot of free passes! :)
I think Fed can one day rule the clay.
And Tiger is a smart man.
Top: I've wondered how much Serena believes what she is saying. She looked pretty ragged out there compared to Justine. Sure, she should give herself confidence, but she's not facing the reality that Henin has conditioned herself to top fitness and strength, plus is always improving her game.
If Serena gets stuck in the past, a whole crop of players will pass her.
MCLioness
There's ragged and blissfully abysmal and I think it was the latter of the two.
That being the fact there's no reason why she should've behaved like that ! Infantile if nothing else and soured the fans' views of her.
MCLioness
Not only that now but perhaps it'll open up greater endorsement opportunities for her. She's not been on the upper ends of most corporate brand owners' minds. It's been supposedly been about the young nubile females amongst her genre. The Sharapova's , Ivanovic's , Williamses, and many more. She deserves the recognition of being the best and the financial rewards and accolades that goes along with that recognition.
I'd say I'm more athlete than fan. I hope I can say that all my life.
After Marat Safin, is there anyone else?
Some of my other favorite athletes include: Dmitry Tursunov, Kim Clijsters, Roger Federer, Tedy Bruschi, Cory Schlesinger, Brian McBride, Lynn Hill & Dean Potter.
I truly appreciate any advice or criticism. Thank you.
