Well, only kinda good...I'm referring to the men; it's been a great month for some ####. This has been a good month, though. I first need to comment on the amazing gambling scandal in the NBA. Tim Donaghy has surpassed all of our expectations by agreeing to cooperate with the feds investigating the gambling of NBA referees and saying he will name up to TWENTY refs that have been involved in some kind of gambling (count that out loud if you aren't sure how many that is). Well, considering that he was labeled by his former neighbors as an arrogant man whose actions are entirely dictated by how they will benefit him, I guess this isn't TOO surprising. On the other hand, no amount of selling out and butt-kissing will save him from the terrible future he has ahead of him (he won't even get a call from little leagues to officiate). I just hope that his attempt to justify his own actions by tattling on his peers doesn't allow him to go free. I'm not saying that I'm disappointed that he is being honest, if indeed he is. I just think he's about as trustworthy when it comes to gambling as Mr. Simpson is when it comes to dead white women. I just hope that the refer-cheat goes to jail for a long time, gets pounded by Bruno, and in turn his children learn what enforcing the rules really means.
He may be making this face a little bit more if he goes where he should!
Michael Vick is done! Hooray for Ronny Mexico, he finally achieved his goal of wasting more natural athletic ability than Ricky Williams! I was 'lucky' enough to see Mike and Marcus play football in high school, and the one thing I'll say is that he hasn't improved. He was the greatest high school athlete I have ever seen (and his brother wasn't far behind), but due to his own arrogance, he's not even remotely coachable. Hopefully his mouth is as soft as his touch in throwing the football! Yikes, that was a bit inappropriate. I met him once, at a football game for the AFL's minor league, the AF2. It was a game of the now-defunct Norfolk Nighthawks, when he was a budding star at Virginia Tech. His brother was there as well, but was a nobody sophomore in high school. Michael still wasn't a huge celebrity, so there was no problem approaching him, but I found that his nobody brother was far more respectful and in my opinion, far less biased to fans than the elder Vick. Michael would barely dignify someone if they weren't wearing Fubu and Phat Farm (get my point?). On the other hand, Marcus and I stood there and talked about school, as he was only a bit older than I was, and our high schools had played each other that year. Marcus' team won...badly.
Anyway, if I were to meet Michael Vick again, I'd have to ask him one question: How did he think up the name 'Ron Mexico'? I mean, he could have picked a place he wanted to go and a random first name, but still, there had to be some reason behind his name selection. If I followed that same formula, I'd either be Freddy Ireland or Freddy Mercury. On one hand, I could be related to an amazing model, which would not be cool (no one likes having a hot sister). On the other hand, I would be a flaming singer for a legendary rock band. Not sure what I'd do. Regardless of my STD-name, Michael Vick's going to jail, and that makes me one happy man. He's starting to learn that there's really no honor amongst thugs, no matter who they are. He went to high school with Tony Taylor, and Tony Taylor was the first person to sell him out to the feds. Coincidence? I don't think so. Sometimes the people who have known you the longest are the ones who know just how much of a piece you really are. Then again, I've been seeing him play the longest of most Vick fans, and I will be the first to tell you what a waste of talent is sitting at the QB position, as would my older brother and my father. He better hope he gets Tim Donaghy as a cell mate, otherwise he could end up being converted to a receiver!
Barry Bonds, I don't like you. Also, Jason Giambi isn't getting punished, but that doesn't make it right. Selig is trying to encourage others to cooperate by letting a juice head like Jason Giambi walk away without a game off. What a great month for sports! At least Tiger Woods is still amazing.
By the way, Michael Phelps is a god. That man dominates his sport more than any other athlete ever has, ever, Wilt Chamberlain included. Wilt scored 100 points in one game. If Phelps was dominating basketball like he is swimming, then Wilt's 100-point game wouldn't even be in the top-5 anymore. Yeah, Phelps got a DUI in 2004 after the Olympics, but a DUI is nothing compared to raping a lady in Colorado, and Phelps at least did community service for his DUI. Ballhog Bryant bought his wife a fat rock, cried on TV, and then made a mockery of the court proceeding. Besides, Phelps was 19 at the time of his DUI. How many 19-year olds do you know that have never driven after drinking? At 19, two or three drinks can put you over the legal limit (which is 0.020 for under-21 drivers in most states), while you may not even feel one slight effect of the alcohol, especially at 6'4", 200 lbs.
Lastly, Damon Huard should start for the Chiefs, but he won't because Carl Peterson is a complete ####. Peterson, get your amazing running back under contract, give Huard the starting nod. If Huard doesn't get the job, he should sue for age discrimination. Brodie Croyle is 3 of 7 on his career, with half of his incompletions turning into interceptions. Huard, on the other hand, was on pace to throw over twenty touchdown passes, 3500 yards, and under 4 interception (had he played 16 games). Huard has actually earned a starting job, after spending his career backing up the likes of Dan Marino, Drew Bledsoe, Tom Brady, and Trent Green. He's learned from a few greats, and he deserves a shot of his own. I doubt he'll get it, but he deserves it.
In other news, Al Davis continues his dedication to being a crybaby of a manager.
I picked today to start a blog. To be completely honest I think that the whole concept is stupid, but I feel like having some way to state my unadulterated opinion. Anyway, to start things off, I'll just state my feelings on a few issues.
1) I love the NFL. I feel like it is a great league, it excites and always provides with enough on-field drama to even satisfy a middle-school girl. With the NFL, there are always going to be surprise teams and surprise players, and that is what I feel makes it superior to the NCAA football realm. The NCAA will occasionally have some surprise teams, but let's be honest here: Boise State's football success last year wasn't nearly the surprise and excitement that George Mason University's run to the Final Four was two years ago (although the Statue of Liberty in the Fiesta Bowl was one of the most exciting finishes I have ever seen).
2) Barry Bonds is a cheating ####. He cheated on his wife, he cheated on his taxes, and though it hasn't been proven, we all know he's been cheating in baseball. Bonds, Mark McGuire, and Sammy Sosa are the big faces for the steroid problem in the last ten years, and I just want them all to go away. I will say that I don't genuinely feel like Sosa was on roids when he was slamming 50+ home runs a year, as his best years were about when they should be, ages 29-33-ish. His timing sucked, as McGuire was obviously juiced, and then that little corked bat incident didn't help his case (once a cheater, always a cheater in the court of public opinion). On the other hand, Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds were hitting the most homers as they were about to hit 40 years old. I don't care how great an athlete you are, no one hits 73 home runs at age 38. McGuire's steroid use was obvious; he entered the league as a muscular 23-year old with the Oakland A's, and retired as a mammoth 38-year old. I'm pretty confident that one could start a small pharmacy with the stuff he's had floating through his bloodstream in the last twenty years. Ironically, his wife works for a pharmaceutical company. Anyway, back to Bonds. I don't like that he's going to be in history as the 'home run king' even if it is only for a few years. He won't hit more than 762 or so, and it will be at least a decade before his record is broken, but I don't worry that his record will stand forever. I just want Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Mark McGuire, (and while I'm at it, Jose Canseco) to just go away. They aren't entirely responsible for the steroid problem, but they are certainly the faces of it. As if there was any doubt, check the before and after:
You can naturally get that much bigger, but not with baseball's 4-day offseason.
3) Michael Vick is a waste. He's got all the physical gifts in the world: cannon arm, quick feet, insane speed, agility and reflexes of a cat...you name it. He does not, however, possess an inkling of intelligence, nor does he have any kind of common sense. The stupidity of when he said that he had owned a house used for dogfighting but rarely went there rivals that of Bill Clinton's classy debate of the definition of the word it. I mean really, did he expect people to believe that when he went home to his hometown that he NEVER went over to the house he owned, when that house was literally 20 minutes from his mom's place in Newport News? I grew up in that area; I saw him and his brother play in high school. For him to try to play that he never went to this location, and that he had NO idea that a massive dogfighting ring was being run out of one of his properties for 6 years is absurd, and to top that off, it's insulting to the public, the Falcons, and to the NFL Commish. Outside of the dogfighting incident, there's his extremely mature dirty bird incident. Flipping the bird to the crowd on national TV? Sexy, Mr. Vick. Then with the incident in the Miami airport; weed in a water bottle? Come on Vick, with as much as you travel, you should know by now that they don't allow liquids on planes! More than that, it would have been smarter to just keep that weed double-bagged in your back pocket. You were taking a domestic flight. You would have been fine had you not been too busy being a complete ####. Yeah yeah, I know they never found anything, but come on. Be realistic. This guy has a 130-million dollar contract; do you honestly think that he wouldn't have slipped some money to the $9-an-hour TSA employees? Think it through. $1000 wouldn't mean anything to him, but it certainly would to someone making $25,000 a year. And to end it, Michael Vick...my all-time favorite incident with you can be summed up with one photo:
4) Joey Harrington is a victim of the Detroit Lions. He had flashes of greatness in Detroit, and then had a few in Miami. With Vick out of Atlanta and on his way to federal prison (and he will be soon enough), Harrington will be in a system where he can start afresh, free of Detroit, and free from the Nick Saban Nightmare that was created in Miami. Joey Harrington's statistical history is about equal to Vick's. Oh, except for the sack category, where Vick's 4.2 second 40-yard dash has him getting sacked more than Joey Harrington, and that's also considering that Joey was in Detroit for four years. I'm not saying that Harrington will have a pro-bowl year, but I am saying that he will have a better year this year than Vick had last year, or the year before, or any year for that matter. Given time (a full year to recuperate from Detroit/Miami), I will go so far as to say that Harrington will return to Oregon form.
5) Brady Quinn and Jamarcus Russell won't amount to much of anything in the NFL. To be honest, Brady wasn't stellar in college. Sure he was, statistically, a great QB. But he choked in the big moments, and he was destroyed in his bowl game against Jamarcus Russell's LSU team. Additionally, dozens have been statistically good QBs, but then have not actually gotten the W and accomplished their mission. Brady Quinn lost more games in his college career as a starter than Russell and OSU's Troy Smith combined. As for Russell, I just don't like him as a quarterback. He is another physical gem but then again I look at who drafted him and just have to say that Al Davis (Raiders owner) is a bumbling ####. If the Raiders weren't willing to pay the money for a first overall pick, they should have traded down and snagged someone else. Or, here's an idea. Why not have traded their 7th-round pick for Daunte Culpepper, and used that high pick on Calvin Johnson? Daunte's not intelligent enough to be given too much to think about, so why not let him just run the play-action and deep bomb that worked with him and Randy Moss in Minnesota? He wouldn't be forced to think, which is great, because when he tries to do that he usually loses his footing and gets his knees ripped apart (note that his horrific knee injury came when Moss was no longer there to bail him out from his moments sucking in the pocket). Back to the original topic, Russell won't succeed in Oakland because Oakland's owner is too arrogant to get much of anything positiva accomplished, and this isn't new; it dates back to the NFL-AFL merger when he threw a tantrum that he wasn't named the NFL Commissioner. Russell may possibly just end up a product of circumstance; Quinn wouldn't do well no matter where he went. I'm not the only one that thought he wasn't up to the hype, apparently twenty other NFL teams thought so. (And if you'd like a list of QBs that did extremely well in college but faded into oblivion in the NFL, just look up Danny Wuerffell, Shane Matthews, Rex Grossman, John Reaves, and a whole slew of other Florida QBs.)
Nice throw Rex!
6) I think Calvin Johnson is an absolute mutant. He's as big or bigger than most tight ends, and faster than most all wide receivers. He's got the power and size of Antonio Gates and the speed and agility of Steve Smith. But, because Matt Millen was a Raider for so many years (yeah, he's connected to the great Al Davis), he's warped to think that the Lions will just magically be great (just like Davis). He forgets, however, that the Raiders were good for part of his time there because he was there while Jim Plunkett was revitalizing his career with a pair of Hall of Famers on the Offensive Line. I like Jon Kitna, I really do; I think that he could be the answer for a few years in Detroit. That said, he's about as mobile as a tree, and his offensive line is not near what it should be. If Millen put his effort into inflating that line in front of Kitna, he would in turn be opening up the running game, giving Kitna time to make decisions in the pocket, and more importantly, spreading the defense out. Calvin Johnson would explode and the Detroit Lions would be contending for the NFC Championship within three seasons. Calvin Johnson's career, however, could end up all statistics in the NFL because he's got a linebacker for a GM...literally. Read about Barry Sanders, and change the position from running back to wide receiver. Barry Sanders tragically didn't have a fullback until the last two years of his career, when every year he asked for one. He retired in his prime because he was tired of the losing culture in the Detroit Lions organization. Since Sanders' retirement, the Lions have gone 41-88 in eight seasons. They're averaging five wins a season. How has Millen not been fired yet? Let's hope he is soon, if only for Calvin Johnson's sake.
7) Donovan McNabb is done. If he doesn't play in all sixteen games and make the Pro Bowl, AND then the Eagles at least make it to the NFC Championship game, he's done in Philly. The media in Philadelphia wants him to be good so badly, and he just doesn't have it in him. Again, he has the physical attributes to be successful, but in my honest opinion the guy hasn't gotten over the Terrell Owens saga. TO got the best of him, and he's still crying about it. Hopefully by drafting Kevin Kolb the Eagles will get Ms. McNabb to snap out of it and play a man's sport like a man.
8) Tiger Woods is God. If you care to debate this, go talk to Rory Sabbatini.
9) Alex Rodriguez is the man. He's a phenomenal player, and he's done it the right way. And if you assume that he plays until he's 43 years old, as Roidy Bonds has, and you say he maintains his career average (38 HRs a year) then he will retire with over 900 career knocks. That's why I'm not worried about the home run record lasting. At his pace, Barry's record will be broken by A-Rod well before he turns 40. Hopefully Bud Selig will stay around for that so we can see how he reacts when the record is broken by someone deserving of it.
