You know what I am talking about. You go to a game and as a fan of the visiting team, you are subjected to some really unruly or obnoxious fans, rally cries or noisemakers that rattle your nerves. Some of the rally gear items are somewhat trivial, others are downright annoying. Sometimes, they are just lame. But all of these stomach-turning, gut-wrenching, ear-rattling rally-inspiring items or cheers are held dear to the heart of the obnoxious fan. He lives everywhere in the United States.

The list:



The Terrible Towel


It's a dish rag, it scares no one, and it blocks the view of the game. Moreover, isn't waving a towel the universal sign for "surrender"?

Give the inventor props for marketing a dishtowel and making a mint off of Steelers' fans. Suckers.











The Sacramento Kings' cowbells

Are you kidding me? I would rather drink two bottles of Cold Duck and deal with the hangover in the morning than to hear those tinny bells rattling in my ears for 2 hours. If you want to change your "Farmer John" image, what's with having 5,000 cowbells rattle in Arco Arena? MOOOOOO.














The Angels' Thundersticks

Someone 'splain to me why inflatable bats made in R.O.C. clapped together every ten minutes is a good idea? I pity the fans who miss every good play because they can't see the field due to plastic bats blocking their view of play. Get a bunch of PGA fans clapping softly and it's the same effect. It's the politically correct way of being loud.








Arkansas Razorbacks fans' "First Down" Signal (sorry, couldn't find a photo of a fan signaling first down for the Hogs)

Good to know ya'll know when it's a first down. It's pretty telling if you make a big deal out of a first down, but even more importantly, thank goodness you don't get a ton of these to make it totally unbearable for a visiting team's fans.



The USC Conquest song/"V" fingers sign.

Dum-de-dee-dum-dee-dee-dum-deeee- dum, de dum. OKAY....must you beat those drums for the entire duration of the game? The first beat has every Trojan fan automatically raising their hand with the 'V" sign, and frankly, it's borderline psychotic brainwashing.

(I love it!)








That dancing Leprechaun of Notre Dame.

Next time I visit South Bend, I'm taking out that red-bearded freak with a high-powered whiffle gun; is this what snipe hunting is? Why is he dancing a #### when his team got creamed most of the year? Because of him, I've sworn off Lucky Charms cereal.













The "D" "Fence" sign

It's getting old, isn't it? And as cliche as it is, why do cameramen always put them on TV?

Props to the guy who invented the light switch "Off" and "Fence" sign, where the "off" light switch turns on and off.












The Texas Longhorns' "Hook 'em Horns"

When you have a bunch of inebriated fans making that Horn sign, somehow, that middle finger seems to pop up too often. Then again, if all your fans looked like Matthew MacConaughey, who cares?











Philadelphia Eagles fans


Yeah, it's pretty bad when you have your own jail and court built into Veterans Stadium, isn't it? When you boo Santa Claus, its really hard to defend fans like the one pictured to the left. Not pretty, not pretty at all.













The Nittany Lions' "Zombie Nation"

Watching 90,000 fans jump and down mumbling "oh oh oh ####-oho-oh ####...." at Happy Vanilla Valley makes us wonder who spiked their brats with crystal meth. Maybe they are trying to wake up from the dull play on the field?











The UCLA 8-clap/fight song

"1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, U-C-L-A, UCLA, fight fight fight".....and what freaking high school cheer inspired that yell? Isn't it bad enough that you stole your fight song (in the 60's) from the California Bears' song "Big C, Sons of California"? And you mention another school in your own fight song? EMBARRASSING:

“Sons of Westwood”

We are Sons of Westwood,
And we hail the Blue and Gold;
True to thee our hearts will be,
Our love will not grow old.

Bruins roam the hills of Westwood,
By the blue Pacific shore;
And when they chance to see a man from USC,
Ev’ry Bruin starts to roar.

U! (3 claps)
C! (3 claps)
L! (3 claps)
A! (3 claps)

U-C-L-A! Fight! Fight! Fight





The Lakers theme song, "We Love LA"

Randy Newman was kewl in the 80's.....but for a city that's considered a trend-setter leader, how embarrassing is it to hear that song? Where are my leg warmers and ripped sweatshirt tops?















The dude with the rainbow wig holding the "John 3:16" sign in the end zone.

Just who is this guy (Rollen Stewart), who does he work for (nobody, he is serving a life sentence for kidnapping), and just what is his track record converting football fans to Jesus (zip, nada, zilch)? And what's with the clown wig?

(special thanks to blogger BillyHoyle for informing about the identification of this "fan.")












Florida State Seminoles' Warpath chant

Ok, I'm still trying to figure out why your mascot is politically correct, but the Chippewas' mascot is not. The war chant sounded cool when your program was winning, IN THE 80's, but now it's a lame effort that sounds more like a Buddhist chant, than a warpath cry.














The New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox fans

They are loud, obnoxious, and cheer on individual players making more than an entire Major League baseball team.
The Yankees thumbed their noses at the luxury tax with a payroll close to 200 mil, and yet, still lost to the Red Sox.

Ha ha.





and this lil dilly......





































The Oakland Raiders get-ups


They sit in the Black Hole, throw beers down opponents' fans and teams' backs, and give headaches for security teams. And there is this: Robert Charles Comer, 50, was executed for the murder of a man and when asked if he had any last words, he said, "Yes. Go Raiders."










Auburn/LSU/Clemson fans

There's a huge argument over who called their stadium Death Valley first- LSU or Clemson. Clemson fans claim they did because they are next to a cemetery and that LSU's stadium area was called Deaf Valley; over the years, it morphed into Death Valley from mispronounciation and it stuck. Which team was first doesn't matter. All of them chanting, "Tiger Bait" and throwing beers at the other team's fans is pretty obnoxious behavior. The funny part is that the Tigers of LSU are named after an a Civil War regiment that had "tiger" rifles. When and why the LSU animal mascot came in remains perfect fodder for brawls amongst the fans.














Anaheim Ducks' duck call whistles and fight song

Sigh...ok, you are Ducks. But having 14,000 fans put their Duck bills on their faces and blow through some quacky noisemakers for "duck calls" is almost annoying as their fans singing, "We will, we will, quack you" to the tune of Queen's "We will rock you." Can you say overkill? Quack.












Per Dave_in_Indy, the following soccer fans have been added:

Soccer fans from any country that ends in "a" or any English team

When tear gas cannisters shooting at the fans are a normal event, you really have to wander when passion leaves the game and criminal negligence kicks in. 39 people died in one English soccer match in Brussels. It's a good thing soccer isn't big here in the states, I guess.










Duke basketball fans


OMG...is there any group of fans that has more sense of entitlement? Or smugger attitudes? Or more annoying antics than jumping up and down for for forty minutes and and doing that hand vibe thing? Admit it, you love the fact that they have exited the March Madness rounds early.

It's OK, you're not alone.










PS. Go Bruins, beat Memphis!