This post is a prognostication. I have seen predictions before on the blogosphere, but they are typically rare. I think most people are afraid to make an #### Hat of themselves- color my chapeau Blue and Orange. Below are my projections for the first quarter stats.

Passing:        Completions/Attempts     Yards      TD's     Ints

Indy                                  6/9                          59            0            0

Chi                                   4/11                        71            1            1

Rushing:               Carries                          Yards        TD's    Fumbles

Indy                                  8        
                      36            0            1

Chi                                  12                             49            0            0

Special Teams           FG's Attempted/Made

Indy                                           
                  2/2 (39 yards, 41 yards)

Chi                                            
                  1/1 (34 yards)

projected First Quarter Score:

Indy   6           Chi 10

Let's hear your prognostications!

Peace,

LJ

LJ's Personal Stats

Hot wings eaten = 9

Grilled cheese eaten (Livin the dream for ShooterB) = 2

MeatBall Samiches scarfed = 1

Pissed off By chucklehead commentary = 311 times

Mildly amused by commercials = 1

'Tis the Season... And all that excrement... Here are some stocking stuffers sure to bring a smile on that special day!

With Vitriol and a Drum roll, here is the New Yuk Tymes Top Ten Really Thin Books.

10. "Why We Don't Need a Playoff System; Fairness and Compelling Bowl Scheduling".  by the NCAA 

9. "Personal Restraint and Class; What has Made me a Superbowl Champ" By Terrell Owens

8. "Excellence in Work Ethic; We're talkin' bout Practice... Practice..." by Allen Iverson

7. "How not to Plagerize the Blogosphere; Original Content and Hard Hitting Analysis- The Winning Recipe" By the Inside the NFL Crew

6. "Profiles in Courage Redux- Backpeddling Through Life- Cuz That's How I Roll..." A morality play by Carmello Anthony

5. "Tanks for the Memories- How to Discipline  In Today's NFL" by the entire Chicago Bears Organization

4. "Organizational Excellence" by Matt Millen

3. "Marketing an Exciting Sport in an Exciting Way- A How To" by the NHL

2. "Class" by Isiah Thomas

1. "Romo-Netics- how to Parlay 8 Games into a Canton Bust" By The Big Tuna

There it is- if you would like to add your really thin book to the comments please do so!

Happy Holidays

LJ

Watching the NFL highlights this morning, I was struck by a question. Who was the best player or performance I have ever witnessed LIVE? Watching the replays by Donovan McNabb, Hynes Ward, Michael Vick,  Michael Westbrook, Steve Smith, and the rest this morning got me thinking...

As a country boy growing up, I never got to go see the superstars of my youth in any major sports. That era would have encompassed circa 1980-1992. After that point I was out on my own, had a job, and some disposable income to go out and see some professional and big time college events.

The most talented college football player I ever saw LIVE was Jeff George. My senior year in high school, I was awarded tickets to the Michigan/Illinois game as part of a recruiting weekend. Michigan owned the first half, but "Rocket" Jeff came out in the second half and made throws all over the field; the likes of which I had never seen before. The Illini still lost to Bo's last great team, but the buzz when we were walking out was that we had seen a real talent in George.

A few years on, I was at the last game Derrick Thomas of the Kansas City Chiefs ever played in. It was the last game of the year, and with a win, the Chiefs were in the playoffs, and with a loss, they were done... Needless to say the Raiders last minute field goal eliminated the Chiefs, and I think to this day, that was the last time the Raiders won in KC.

Although we lost the game, there was a consolation prize... Some classless group of Raiders fans were giving us all the business on the way out of the stadium. One of the face painters went into the "Lu" shall we call it? Not ten seconds after the "occupied" sign had gone up, a pissed off bunch of KC fans decided to dump over the porta potty... The river flowed blue... I walked through the parking lot back to our shuttle with a smile. Later on I felt a little bit bad about reveling in this, but hey, it was the frickin' Raiders, and their ####-hat fans...

5 weeks later Derrick Thomas was killed, I believe in a car crash, during super bowl weekend. He had a decent game that day, but the most talented player on the field that day was a young guy named Tammerick Vanover. He returned a kick in that game, and was probably the fastest human being I ever saw run.

I watched Randy Johnson when he was pitching for the Arizona Diamondbacks; he threw a 4 hit shutout that day against the Cubs, in Wrigley Field with the wind blowing out. I will never forget the sight of the dust blowing out of the back of the mit when Johnson would fire a "crypt keeper" fast ball. There was just a distinct difference between what he was able to do that day, and yikes, Steve Trachsel if memory serves. Johnson would have recieved diety status from me that day, until I saw him "run out" a slow roller to third when he was hitting.

I never made it see Michael Jordan. I never saw Dale Earnhardt Sr. drive. I never got to see Walter Payton break a tackle in the backfield and turn it into a 4 yard gain. I've been to a few games here or there, but am curious what your experiences have been and who was the best player in any sport that just made you go "Wow."

Laterz,

LJ4PREZ   

Below Please find this week's top 10 Thin Books according to the New York Tymes. Reviews available by clicking the comments section at the bottom... Trying to get read here people!!! Lets have some fun with this!

10. "Situational Awareness and Discipline... Shaping America's Youth" by Larry Coker, and Donna Shalala

9. "Tackling 101" by Gunther Cunningham

8. "How to Win With at least a 14 Point Lead in the Second Half " by Dennis Green

7. "My Ego Isn't the Problem; You Are!" Co-Authored By Brian Billick, and Billy Beane

6. "Matching the Right Manager with Your Talent Level" by Jim Hendry

5. "Verborhea; Being Consistent in the Booth" by Joe The is Man

4. "My life as an AssClown" by Nick Buoniconti  

3. "Some Cheese to go with that Whine? a Satire" by Jeff Gordon and Jimmy Johnson

2. "Senility and Money; The Winning Edge" by George Steinbrenner

1. "Crown Their ####; Podium Ettiquette and How to Address the Media" by Dennis Green

I think I just saw a 6 turnover performance by the Chicago Bears. I think I just saw the Arizona Cardinals lose a game after having a twenty point lead with 9 seconds to go in the third quarter. I think I just saw the Bears come back with ZERO offensive points to erace the deficit...

YOU KNOW YOUR TEAM IS TERRIBLE WHEN...

Before the surround-sound thud of Rakers right foot hitting the game losing field goal, I had shut my eyes. I didn't even have to open them to know that the Bears had won. Seriously.

ASSCLOWN SIGHTING

Nick Buinican'tstandya, put that friggin bottle of Cold Duck away for another two weeks at least you assclown...

SAY GOODBYE TO PARIS...

Brian Uhrlacher finally earned his Defensive Player of the Year award from last year this Monday Night. My respect level for the most over-hyped poster boy in Chicago sports history is beginning to come up to levels where I might even stop writing lame Paris Hilton jokes about poor Brian... He was simply everywhere. Uhrlacher made more square on tackles and backfield stops than I can remember him ever making in a game, or even maybe a three game stretch. This was the most physical, hard-hitting football I have watched all season- Mushin Muhammed and Bernard Berrian both have GREEN tatooed on their kidneys.  The injury bug may have bitten Mike Brown again, but this is nothing new for the Bears to deal with with #30.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE FUGLY

The reality of this game can be summed up like this;  The Arizona Cardinals offense, defense, and special teams played at their physical, mental, and emotional peak so far in the 2006 campaign for the first 44 minutes and 51 seconds... Whereas the Bears played the worst offensive football of the season for the entire game for maybe any team including you; The Arizona Cardinals... and still the Bears won. 

Matt Lienart looked like Matt Hasselbeck from last year, and Rex Grossman looked like Matt Hasselbeck against the Bears three weeks ago. All in all, the best TEAM won the game. Yes Matt Lienart has "arrived" all of you national broadcast dorks, and you get to do your montages and whatnot, but this Cardinals team still sucks... They straight up choked.

BIZARRO WIFE SWAP...

The Bears move on to a bye, which they obviously need. One could say by their lack of preparation and intensity for this clash that they had already checked out mentally maybe Wednesday or Thursday of last week. They should get healthy and healthy on the San Francisco 49'ers on the 29th... The Cardinals go to Oakland where we get the "Who is Gonna Get Fired First Bowl". That game should be like watching a boring episode of "Bizarro Wife Swap" where the two wives who trade lives are both really similar, so nothing cool happens.... Both families make tons of penalties, and both families have dysfunctional parents, and both families are spiraling toward the abyss driven by the mad man combo of the Bidwells' and the Davis's. I think I will take a nap. 

 STITCH 'N' #### (god you can't say ####?)

Listening to the "Stitch 'n' ####" (a stitch 'n' #### is where little old blue haired ladies sit and around and quilt together) of Tony Kornhieser and Joe The is man should have Mike Tirico looking for a high spot and a rifle by about week 12 methinks. Seriously, (Muffled Bratwurst-filled mouth of Dan Dierdorf speaking) "this is the worst booth in the history of radio, television, cable, satellite, colecovision, sega master system, NES, Atari 5200, the JAGuar,....." You get the point, it is really, really #### poor. I would rather listen to Bill Walton and Dan Dierdorf do a squash game on the ocho rather than have to listen to these two honjocs going at each other.

Anyways, the Bears Cool Aid is still flowing freely, but Lovie definitely has some work to do in the next two weeks to get this house in order.

Bringin it str8,

LJ4PREZ

First time blogger here... Like you give a fat rat's ####!!!

On Monday night's NFL broadcast on ESPN, I think I heard Joe The is man proclaim that the 2006 Bears are going 19 and 0. Undefeated. Nick Bouniconti's (or however you spell that deush's name) champagne toast blows up in his face... I hope it happens for one reason alone;

So the freakin '72 Dolphins and the 85 Bears get eliminated from the "most-overexposed ex famous people you never want to hear from again" club.

The only thing worse than seeing Larry Csonka's (of "Amercian Gladiators" fame with Joe The is man, which really is a slight redemption over his status as a 72 Dolphin Deush as well) mustache twitch when someone's errant field goal dribbles it's way across the uprights every year in a game where the 13 and 0 team has been resting it's starters  since the middle of the third quarter and loses, is listening to Steve "Mongo" McMichael do Chicago radio spots touting a "Gentleman's" club. Whew... that was a runon- but worth the payoff... lol 

Now don't get me wrong... Some people can't get enough of watching William Perry's man boobs swaying around the squared circle dominating the normally pacifist Manute Bol. Manute only fought the Fridge cuzz he needed the money to prop up his native country's government for a few more years with the prize money... oh yeah and he really hates the 85 Bears over-exposure too.

Personally, if I have to watch one more Don Shula steak house commercial, I will stab him in his heart with the same dull rusty blade I had to use the last time I sat down and ate at one of his establishments...

I am so ready for someone, be it the 2006 Colts (hachoo), or the beloved 2006 Bears, to accept this mantle of a55clowndom...

 I can just see it... (Spinning motion as we go forward through the wormhole of time... Cue Campy "I dream of Genie (god Barbara Eden was hot)" heart/harpsichord music...)

It is 2018. Late December. A monday night game. It is halftime at Soldier Field. As many of the 2006 Bears are in tow at the fifty yard line. They are there for inspiration for the current squad that is struggling against the mighty Houston Texans who are undefeated, and are hoping to go to 24 and 0. A dillapidated Paris Hilton is standing next to 16 time Pro-Bowler (Cuzz Madden said so) and recently retired #54 Brian Uhrlacher. Their kids are so ugly...

The first half was an old fashioned butt Whoopin... The Houston Texan's Mario Williams has had 7.5 sacks and forced 3 fumbles, scoring twice himself, and kicking the extra points  (Houston fans are absolutely certain that they got more out of Mario Williams than they would of had they drafted Reggie Bush! Take that New Orleans, with your whimpy levies, and trash smell everywhere!). The Texans lead it 39-6. The sad old bears of 2006 just can't take it anymore.

If the beloved can't somehow come back, the perfect 19-0 season, and their current reign as a55clowns supreme, and their viagra and cialis contracts are all gone... What will they all do...?

YadyYadyYady. I awaken from the journey in a cold sweat. I love this current Bears team so much, I... I am going to say it... I want them to lose.... Just one game... So they are spared from being hated the way I hate the current 85 a55clowns, and even worse the 72 Dolphin Deush's.   I know i am gonna get fried for this, "my first Blog" but who is with me?

LJ4PREZ