I’m not a Raiders’ fan by any stretch. But for some reason I’ve been paying more attention to them this season than I usually would.  I went from mocking them early in the season to actually feeling bad for them and their fans as the season went on.  After seeing them in person when they played the Jets, I really hoped they could find a quality coach and turn the franchise around.

Well, the Raiders have hired a new coach, Lane Kiffin.  I openly admit that I don’t know much about Lane Kiffin.  I know he’s young (31) is the son of long time Tampa Bay Defensive Coordinator Monte Kiffin, and that he was the Offensive Coordinator at the University of Southern California for the past six seasons. That’s pretty much it. However, after catching a part of Kiffin’s first press conference as Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders, I know he needs work in the “inspiration” department.

During the press conference Kiffin said he will bring an “explosive powerful offense” to the Raiders.  Something I’m sure Raider Nation was happy to hear after finishing last in the NFL in total offense in the 2006.  Kiffin, also looked sternly (well he tried to anyway) out to the press and said the team will play “happy and hard”.  Umm, really Lane? Happy and hard?  That’s your mantra? I think that’s what my alcoholic little league baseball coach used to say. Those are the words you will use to inspire the guys like Randy Moss and Warren Sapp?  Good luck with that endeavor Lane. Good luck and Godspeed.

Believe me Raider’s fans I hope I’m wrong about this, but I don’t think Lane is going to turn this team around.  I want the Raiders to be at least decent.  The Raiders have some of the best fans in the NFL; they are at every stadium supporting their team.  A friend of mine who works for an NFL team told me that the Raiders have the only fans that actually scare you a little because they are so passionate it borders on insanity.  They deserve a better product than they’ve had lately. 

I wonder how Raider fans feel about him.  I already know one who’s not all that optimistic about the Lane Kiffin era. One of my best friends, Riss who is a die hard Raider fan, asked me what I thought about the Raiders’ new hire.  I didn’t want to sound negative.

 I simply said, “I don’t know much about him.”

 “I don’t know” Riss responded.  I mean he said the team is going to play “happy and hard. He couldn’t come up with a better line than that? He could have at least borrowed ‘clear eyes and full hearts can’t lose’.  Can’t we get Coach Taylor?”

So right now the fictional coach of the Dillon Panthers rates higher for a long time Raider fan than their newly hired coach.  I don’t think that is the response Al Davis was looking for.

Over the years, probably because I’ve worked in sports or recreation jobs for most of my life, I’ve acquired a sizable group of female sports fan friends - (FSFF) and acquaintances -(FSFA). They come from various walks of life and ethnic backgrounds and for the most part they are just like their male counter parts:

 They are superstitious. One of my FSFF is a huge New York Mets and New York Rangers fan. Her game watching rituals involve having her mother and sister watch the same game in different rooms in the same apartment while sitting in specific chairs.  She also implores the Rangers’ defensemen to “Skate!! Skate!!”

 They are extremely loyal.  Riss, one of my best friends, grew up in California and is a devout (and bitter) Raider’s fan. Yes, she realizes Aaron Brooks is awful.  She is also aware that the offensive line can’t block. And yes, she knows that the Raiders’ kicker is almost 300 pounds. None of these facts makes her happy.  But she would never think of abandoning Raider Nation. Her beautiful 3 year old twin daughters are already wearing Raider jerseys and I think face paint is next. And don’t dare say the words “tuck rule” around her if you want to live.

 They play fantasy sports.  A fashionista FSFF I met while working at the NBA years ago just beat my team by 3 points in the second round of our fantasy football league.  (And no, it’s not fun to have a “chick-lit” writer talk trash to you. Not fun at all.)  She takes the league very seriously; she even told her boyfriend that she couldn’t drive him to the airport because she had to participate in her fantasy draft.

 “He knew the draft was today! Why would he put me in that position?” she wondered.  

 She made me so proud that day.

 But there are some differences between male sports fans and female sports fans.

They simplify strategy.  One of the guys I grew up with works for a NFL team.  When the two of us talk football the conversation goes something like this:

 Him: “They stayed in the cover-two shell too long. I thought that somewhere on the last drive coach would have called a safety blitz or at least gone to a pressure front look to make him check the ball down”

 Me: “Yea you have to do something different against Peyton Manning. Maybe go with bracket coverage, or a zone blitz, he was way too comfortable”

 Female sports just fans don’t speak this way.  Ever.  They break the game down to its simplest terms. One FSFF said to me, “Why don’t they just make sure Marvin Harrison doesn’t catch the ball? It’s obvious that’s who Peyton likes to throw to.”  This is not to say they females don’t understand strategy.  I know one in particular who loves the Match-Up show on ESPN.  They just don’t see the fuss in making the game more complicated than it needs to be. Why this skill doesn’t translate to shopping is beyond me.

 The players’ lives off the field are very important.  I have a friend who is a die hard Yankee fan and loves Derek Jeter.  Once we were having a random conversation about who Jeter will end up dating next.  I said “maybe he will go for Angelina Jolie once she’s tired of Brad Pitt”.

 She almost lost it.

 “If he dates her I will hate him. I can’t stand her. No, that can never happen”

What this has to do with Jeter’s ability to drive in runs or get on base is beyond me.

But all in all, male and female sports fans are more alike than they are different.  Both think the referees, announcers and sometimes the league as a whole are against their team.  The majority hate both Kobe Bryant and Terrell Owens.  And they both take losses very hard.  A female sports fan that attends the same graduate school I do didn’t watch television or read a newspaper for 3 days after the Yankees lost in the playoffs to the Detroit Tigers.  Because of this, she didn’t know what the weather forecast would be for the next week.

“I don’t want to see anything about the Yankees by accident, it makes my brain hurt.” she said to me in a low tone between puffs of a cigarette.

 Spoken like a true fan.

Some thoughts before spending the rest of the day watching football and rooting for my fantasy team:

How the hell are the Raiders involved in a nationally televised game for the third time this year? The Raiders were part of the Monday Night Football opening week double header, a Sunday night game against Denver in week 6, and now they are playing at Seattle on Monday Night this week in a game that will feature both teams starting back up quarterbacks and back up running backs..  Can’t say I’ll be rushing home from class to catch this game.

I’m glad to see someone has their head on straight in comparing Tony Romo to Brett Favre.  I will not insult Favre by taking the time to list the reasons why these comparisons are absurd.  I’m just glad that Romo himself realizes that making this comparison is ridiculous.  Can the guy win two games in a row first? It’s unbelievable how quick we pass judgment (both positive and negative judgment) in sports these days. 

I thought I was a sports fan, but I guess I’m really not. I say this because I would never name my child ESPN like this couple.  And we though the name “Apple” was bad. One of my friends once told me that in this country we are getting to the point where the government is going to have to approve names, just to save kids from their parents.  I can’t say she is wrong.   

It’s good to see that the Knicks are making my decision to root for them to lose very easy.  I caught the second half of the home opener against Indiana last night and nothing has changed.  They gave up wide open jump shots off of simple high screens; allowing someone named Jasikevicuis to score 16 points on 5-10 shooting. They had 14 total assists; the Pacers starting point guard, Jamal Tinsley, had the same amount.  And last but not least the Knicks shot 43% from the field, compared to the Pacers 52%.  The positives were that home opener was not sold out, which will hopefully force Dolan’s hand even quicker to dump Isiah, and David Lee and Nate Robinson are still hustling.  Hopefully a new General Manager and Coach can salvage something out of the three young guys and maybe Eddy Curry before they blow the team up.