A buddy of mine sent me this link.  I never thought I’d live to see the day somebody used me as a reference.  Wikipedia or not.  I am footnote number five.  “Drew has also been criticized by fans and the media for his perceived lack of effort, leading to nicknames such as ‘D.L. Drew’ or ‘Nancy Drew.’”  Thank you JD.   Thank you Wikipedia.  Thank you Al Gore.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  You gotta roll, roll, roll.  You gotta thrill my soul, all right.  Roll, roll, roll, roll-a, thrill my soul.  Let it roll, all night long.  -Doors

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Woo hoo hoo!  It’s JD Drew.  Everybody’s been hating on JD.  Everybody’s been irating on JD.  Everybody’s been defecating on JD.  Not today though.  We gotta sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today though.  And don’t worry ’bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey though.  ‘Cause the Sox are rolling today.  Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.  Though the streams are swollen.  Keep them Bosox rollin’.  Red Sox!  How ’bout them Red Sox?  How ’bout JD Drew?  Worth the waiting, right?  The anticipating, right?  Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis get on by way of the infield hit.  Papi’s up!  Draws a three and two walk.  Bases chucked.  Manny?  King of the salami?  K.  Lowell?  Mr. RBI himself?  Pop out.  Here he comes.  Goat of the year.   No paddle and boat of the year.  Grand slammy!  Strawberry Jammy!  Happy as a Cape Cod clammy!  Ballgame!   He was the first player in college baseball history to hit 30 home runs and steal 30 bases in the same season.  As a freshman, he became the first player to hit three home runs in a single College World Series game.  Yowza!  As a Seminole, he became one of only three players in college baseball history to have 100 hits, 100 runs and 100 RBIs.  Yowza again.  In his rookie year, as a Cardinal, he was drawing comparisons to Stan the Man and the Mick.  Then the injuries began.  Then the name-calling began.  Nancy Drew.  DL Drew.  Sticks and stones.  2004.  Best season of his life.  Power, patience, and defense.  That was his mantra.  .305/.436/.569 with 31 home runs, 118 walks, and 96 RBI’s.  Finished 6th in the MVP voting.  Not for nothing, last year’s numbers were not vastly different from those of 2004.  And not for nothing else, he plays the hell out of right field.  Dwight Evans style.  Last night, JD redeemed himself.  Tonight, Dice-K needs to do the same.  Yup, stay away from my window.  Stay away from my back door too.  Disconnect the telephone line.  Relax baby and draw that blind.  Tonight’s the night. It’s gonna be all right.  Roll Sox, roll!

Public Acknowledgements:  Bob Ryan, Grass Roots, Rawhide and Rod Stewart

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  You gotta roll, roll, roll.  You gotta thrill my soul, alright.  Roll, roll, roll, roll-a, thrill my soul.  Let it roll, all night long.  -Doors

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  The Boston Red Sox.  I made a bet with my boy Nostradomus.  Bet, bet bet…BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT!  Fred Flintstone style.  I had Tiger, he had the field.  I lost.  Now I have to write a post praising the Yankees.  Egads man.  Not today though.  I gotta sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today though.  And don’t worry ’bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey though.  ‘Cause the Sox are rolling today.  Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.  Though the streams are swollen.  Keep them Bosox rollin’.  Red Sox!  How ’bout them Red Sox?  Three in a row.  Three, it’s the magic number.  Five of their last six.  Playing knick knack on some sticks.  Seven of their last ten.  Do it again.  These old Sox are rolling home.  How ’bout Josh Boom Boom Beckett?  Another win yesterday.  Three and oh after yesterday.  1.50 ERA and 18 Ks after yesterday.  Yowza!  Schilling’s back.  Back on track.  Back on track, leading the pack.  I met him at the candy store.  He turned around and smiled at me.  You get the picture?  Yes, we see.  That’s when I fell for the leader of the pack.  Matzuka, Matsuzaka Matsuzaka.  The new king of ole Fenway Pahka.  I think it’s fair to say he’s for real.  The real deal.  Hard as steel.  Tim Wakefield is pitching better than I’ve seen in a while.  Better than he’s ever been in a while.  An inning machine in a while.  With Wakefield pitching better than I’ve seen in a while and Jon Lester tearing it up for the Greenville Drive, the Sox may soon have the best staff in baseball.  Woo doggie!  This is getting good.  Better than I thought it would.  Better than you thought it should.  And what about Papi?  The man you just can’t stoppie.  On the world, he is atoppie.  On top of the world looking down on creation.  Just on a tear.  Two bombs and eight ribbies in the last two days.  He’s on fire.  Up in here, it’s burning hot.  He’s on fire.  Shorty, take it off, if it get to hot, up in this spot.  He’s on fire.  He’s not the only one.  Not the only one getting it done.  Having some fun.  Julio Lugo’s having some fun.  Having some fun with the glove.  Oh, sweet darling, you get the best of my glove.  The best of his glove darting out to center to make a grab that saved a run.  The best of his glove down on his knees saying please, please.  JD Drew’s having some fun.  Having some fun on the run with a burger and a bun and a dish of applesauce on the siiiiiide.  And just wait ’till Manny starts being Manny again.  You know he will.  You know he’ll thrill.  This cat hits in bunches.  The ball he crunches.  Throwing knockout punches.  The Sox can throw some knockout punches in these next couple of series.  The Jays right now and the Yankees this week-end.  Yup, sippin’ on coke and rum.  I’m like so what im drunk.  It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun.  Have me some fun with this decimated Yankee pitching staff.  Marco.  Polo.  Hahaha!  Roll Red Sox, Roll!

Public Acknowledgements:  Deadspin, Doors, Boston Globe, Boston Herald, Yahoo Sports, The Flintstones, The Grass Roots, Rawhide, Schoolhouse Rock, Shangri-las, Carpenters, Jed Clampett, Lloyd Banks, Eagles and R. Kelly

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public: There’s talk on the street; it sounds so familiar.  Great expectations, everybody’s watching you.  -Eagles

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  More Red Sox Propaganda comin'atcha.   Like a baseball batcha.  Rat-a-tat-tatcha.  David Jonathan Drew.  Then why JD?  Who knows?  Who cares?  Am I the only citizen in Red Sox Nation who actually likes this move?  Am I Billy Joe Armstrong?  The only one and walking alone.  Boulevard of Broken Dreams style.  I am here to say on record, this is an outstanding acquisition.  Outstanding.  My boy, Bill the Killer Mueller thinks so too:  “I tell you what, he’s a great player, a great individual, and a character guy.  Any left-handed bat like his, the way he uses the whole field, he should have great success there.”  When this cat is healthy, this cat can flat out play.  He was the first player in college baseball history to hit 30 home runs and steal 30 bases in the same season.  As a freshman, he became the first player to hit three home runs in a single College World Series game.  Yowza!  As a Seminole, he set an FSU record by batting .455.  As a Seminole, he became one of only three players in college baseball history to have 100 hits, 100 runs and 100 RBIs.  Yowza again.  When this cat is healthy, this cat can flat out play.  In his rookie year, as a Cardinal, he was drawing comparisons to Stan the Man and the Mick.  They were laying it on thick.  Laying it on thick as a licorice stick.  Then the injuries began.  Then the name-calling began.  Nancy Drew.  DL Drew.  All of it.    Sticks and stones baby, sticks and stones.  2004.  When this cat is healthy, this cat can flat out play.  Best season of his life.  Power, patience, and defense.  That was his mantra.  .305/.436/.569 with 31 home runs, 118 walks, and 96 RBI’s.  Finished 6th in the MVP voting.  Not for nothing, last year’s numbers were not vastly different from those of 2004.  Want more stats?  Need the proof?  Fair enough.   When this cat is healthy, this cat can flat out play.  He was healthy last year.  Last year, JD  batted .283.  JD batted .283 with 20 bombs.  JD hit 20 bombs and 100 RBI in 146 games for the Los Angeles Dodgers. The lefty ranked tenth in the National League with a .393 on-base percentage and was the league's third toughest player to double up, grounding into just four double plays, an average of one every 123.5 at bats.   Want more?   You need to know the whole score.  Maybe even some facts about the Peloponnisian War?  I know.  Sorry.  Too good to pass up.  JD Drew.   Last year, Drew led the Dodgers in doubles (34), RBI, walks (89), and on-base percentage.  He tied for the team lead in home runs, and ranked second in games and at bats (494).    He established career bests for games, doubles, and RBI, and his walk total was the highest by a Dodger player since 2002.  And not for nothing, he is going to play the hell out of right field.  Dwight Evans style.  So, if you don’t think this dude can help this ball club, you are not paying attention.  If you don’t think this dude can help this ball club, you are blindly following the miserable masses.  Stop reading Bob Ryan on this one.  Stop reading the Dirt Dogs on this one.  Stop reading all the self-loathing Red Sox bloggers out there who would prefer to #### and moan than actually be happy about something good going on around here. Stop making JD our own little A-Broad.  We’re better than that.  Coconut Crisp, Julio Lugo, Papi, Manny, JD Drew.  That’s a pretty daggone good line-up.  Gy-Ro-Mite!, Schilling, Pap, Boom Boom Becket, Wakefield.  That’s a pretty daggone good staff.  You listen to me brother, saddle your ponies you bet!  Rowdy Roddy style! Bring it ####es!

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!