Josh Q. Public: All I’m saying pretty baby. La la love you. Don’t mean maybe. -Pixies
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Yesterday I wrote about Josh Hamilton. Yesterday, I told just one half of the story. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Today, I got a new story. Today I got the story of Edinson Volquez. Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. Oh sorry. Wrong story. Edinson Volquez. The man the Rangers traded away for Josh Hamilton. You may think it’s one sided. You may think it was unfair. You may think a position player is more valuable than a pitcher. Just like you thought Pedro didn’t deserve to be MVP back in 1999. Think again. Edinson Volquez is for real. Voltron is for real. Transformers. More than meets the eye.Yes,Hamilton leads the American League in RBIs. Yes, Hamilton is among the leaders in home runs and slugging percentage. Yes, he plays a dy-no-mite center field. Yes, he’s doing all that; but this Voltron character is tearing it up. Loaded for bearing it up. Haven’t got a prayering it up. Last night, Voltron allowed a meager one run in six innings. Big deal, you say. Who cares, you say. I say that ties a major-league record by allowing fewer than two earned runs in each of his first eight starts in a season. Yowza! I also say only three other pitchers have done that. Just one in the live-ball era, Mike Norris of the A’s in 1980. The others were Dana Fillingim of the 1918 Boston Braves and Dutch Leonard of the1914 Red Sox. Now that’s saying something. That’s saying a lot. I’ll say something else. I’ll say Voltron is 6-1. I’ll say he leads the National League with a 1.12 ERA. I’ll say he’s mixing in a 96-mph fastball with a sick change. An ill change. Most illinest, stealinest, villianest B-Boy change. Dare I say it? A Pedro change. It’s no wonder they call him Little Pedro. Everybody’s been yipping about Johnny Cueto. Everybody’s been yapping about Johnny Cueto. Where is the love for Edinson? Father, Father, Father help us. Send some guidance from above. ‘Cause people got me, got me questionin’. Where is the love?
Public Acknowledgements: Beatles, Beverly Hillbillies, Beastie Boys and the Black Eyed Peas
Josh Q. Public: I feel nice. Like sugar and ####e. I feel nice. Like sugar and ####e. So nice. So nice. I got you. -James Brown
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! This feel good story just feels gooder and gooder all the time. You know the story. Uncle Ricky, will you read us a bedtime story? Please, huh, please? All right, you kids get to bed, I’ll get the storybook. Ya’ll Tucked in? Here we go…Once upon a time, not long ago, where people wore pajamas and lived life slow…Oh, sorry. Wrong story. The Josh Hamilton story. Athens Drive High School. Raleigh, North Carolina. Pitcher and outfielder. As a pitcher he was clocked consistently at 95 mph. As an outfielder he was considered the quintessential five-tool player. Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it. With the first overall pick in the 1999 MLB draft, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays select Josh Hamilton. First overall pick ahead of Josh Beckett. Led the rookie league Hudson Valley Renegades. Led them to their first and only New York-Penn League championship. Then there was the car accident. Then there were lingering back and shoulder injuries. Then there were the drugs. Then there were the twenty-six tattoos. More drugs. Suicide attempts. More drugs. Sex and drugs and rock and roll is all my brain and body need. Sex and drugs and rock and roll are very good indeed. Missed four years of organized baseball to become a coke and crack addict. Now look at him. Take a look at the bad guy. Make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through! Better get outta his way! Better get out of Josh Hamilton’s way. The Natural drove in four runs last night. The Natural had his thirteenth multiple-RBI game of the season last night. That gives the Natural a major-league leading forty-three base knocks. That gives the Natural the most multiple-RBI games in the show. A lean mean RBI machine. Last April, he was named the National League’s Rookie of the Month. This April, he was recognized as the American League Player of the Month. He just gets better and better. Marlon Byrd: “Josh is a freak. A phenom. He’s going to do some wonderful things.” He already is, although Josh may disagree. Hamilton: “I just don’t feel like I’ve put everything together yet. I don’t feel like I’ve had a game where I’ve done everything.” Yikes! The kid already has the skillset of an absolute superstar. Live larges. A big house. Five cars. He’s in charge. Ten years from now, when I’m talking about Josh Hamilton, I’ll be talking about his superstardom. Not the remarkable backstory.
Public Acknowledgements: Slick Rick, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Ian Drury, Scarface, Roy Hobbs and Cypress Hill
Josh Q. Public:Guess it’s over, call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No reason to pretend, we knew it had to end some day, this way. -Johnny Mathis
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Boy oh boy! Ha ha ha! Does it get any better than this? Huh? Does it? If you’re a Boston fan, it does not. This is great! Great, I tell you. First the Patriots go out and grab Adalius Thomas and Randy Moss. Then the Celtics acquire Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. And now this? Stanley, see this? This is this. This ain’t something else. This is this. From now on, you’re on your own. Yup, from now on, the rest of the baseball world is on their own. The Boston Red Sox just made themselves the team to beat. Punks jump up to get beat down! All I can say is, if you’re playing the Sox, don’t be trailing going into the sixth. Don’t do it. Don’t go to bed, with no price on your head. No, no, don’t do it. Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time. Yeah, don’t do it. ’Cause if you do, if you do, you’ll be trailing in the ninth. The Red Sox just ended up with the best reliever on the market. I’m all lost in the supermarket. I can no longer shop happily. I came in here for that special offer. A guaranteed personality. The Sox ended up with a guaranteed personality. The Red Sox just ended up with Eric Gagne. Woopy doopy! Go Go Gophers style. The best bullpen in baseball just got better. Things are going great, and they’re only getting better. I’m doing all right, getting good grades. The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades. How about that? How about this? This is what Red Sox foes will have to face in the seventh, eighth and ninth. Manny Delcarmen, Hideki Okajima, Gagne and Jonathan Papelbon. Lawdy Miss Clawdy! Abandon all hope ye who enter here. Manny Delcarmen. A local kid. Boston Public Schools product. Delcarmen throws heat. Filthy heat. 95+ heat. Not to mention a nasty inside outside curve. Then comes Hideki Okajima. The bestest little surprise to come out of Japan since the Walk-Man. An All-Star in his first year. Allowed a home run to John Buck on his very first pitch in the major leagues. He then proceeded to hold opponents scoreless for nearly two months until the Yankees finally scored a run off of a cheap fielder’s choice courtesy of A-Broad spiking Dustin Pedroia in May. Okie’s just been lights out. Boom boom! Out go the lights. Next up, the new guy. Eric Gagne. Once the greatest closer in all of baseball. But then came the injuries. Then came surgeries. The doctors took out eighty-five percent of Gagne’s L-4 and L-5 vertebrae last summer. The doctors performed surgery on his pitching elbow last summer. And now he’s back. Back on track. Back on the attack like a power pack. So far this season, Gagné is 2-0 with 16 saves and a 2.16 earned run average in 33 innings. 29 Ks to boot. His fastball may not be as fast as it once was but his change up is still as gross as ever. And that spells trouble. Trouble, oh we got trouble. Right here in River City! With a capital T. That rhymes with P. That stands for Pap. The best closer in the free world. Wild thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything groovy. Theo just made everything groovier. Roll Sox roll! World Series, here we come! How sweet it is!
Public Acknowledgements: Deer Hunter, Bran Nubian, The Clash, Timbuk 3, Little Richard, Little Walter, Music Man, The Throggs and Jackie Gleason
Josh Q. Public:I’ve been beat up. I’ve been thrown out. But, I’m not down. I’m not down. I’ve been shown up. But, I’ve grown up. And I’m not down. I’m not down. -Clash
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Just a fast one today. A blast from the past one today. At long last one today. Eric Gagne. Once the greatest closer in all of baseball. But then came the injuries. Then came surgeries. You want to trust the doctors. Their procedure is the best. But the last try was a failure. And the intern was a mess. Gagne was a mess. Gagne was a mess last summer. He thought it might be over last summer. Greer is putting the ball in play. He gets it out deep and Havliceksteals it! Over to Sam Jones! Havlicek stole the ball! It’s all over…It’s all over! Johnny Havlicek stole the ball! The doctors took out eighty-five percent of Gagne’s L-4 and L-5 vertebrae last summer. The doctors performed surgery on his pitching elbow last summer. With all of that, the Texas Rangers still took out a six-million dollar flier on this cat. You can’t beat that with a bat. You can get with this or you can get with that. You can get with this or you can get with that. You should get with this, ’cause this is where its at. Eric Gagne’s where it’s at. Eric Gagne. Closer. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. Better than he was a before? Now that’s a tough bill to fill. A climb all uphill. But he’s got the skill. The skills to pay the bills. Had the skills to save fifty-two games in his first season as a closer. Had the skills to save fifty-five out of fifty-five the following year. Fifty-five saves lives. That made him the first pitcher to ever record fifty saves in more than one season. It also made him the fastest pitcher to ever reach the 100-save plateau. Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Powerful enough to convert eighty-four consecutive save chances. Another major league record. Powerful enough to convert 161 out of 167 chances. Yowza! Earned himself the Rolaids Relief Man of the Year Award. How do you spell relief? G-a-g-n-e. Became the first relief pitcher in eleven years to win the Cy. Hey hey my my! Rock and roll will never die. It doesn’t look like Eric Gagne’s gonna die either. Not yet. Saddle your ponies you bet! Eric Gagne walked onto a major league mound for the first time in more than ten months last night. Eric Gagne pitched a scoreless ninth inning including a strikeout of Ichiro last night. Eric Gagne earned his second save in twenty-two months last night. Oscar Goldman would have been proud last night.
Public Acknowledgements: The Clash, REM, Johnny Most, Black Sheep, Yahoo Sports, The Associated Press, Steve Austin, Beastie Boys, Wikipedia, Superman, Neil Young and Rowdy Roddie Piper.
Josh Q. Public: I keep working my way back to you babe, with a burning love inside. I’m working my way back to you babe, with a happiness that died. I let it get away. Payin’ every day. -Frankie Vali
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? The 1951 Giants did it. They came back. They came back from thirteen games down. Thirteen games down to cross town rivals, Dem Bums. The hated Brooklyn Dodgers. Came back, and won the National League Pennant. The Shot Heard Round the World. The Giants win the pennant and they’re going crazy. They’re going crazy, I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it, I will not believe it! The 1964 Cardinals did it. They came back. They came all the way back from seventh place. The Redbirds were 28-31 when they acquired Lightning Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio. The immortal Ernie Broglio. The rest, they say, is history. The Redbirds acquired Lightning Lou Brock and eventually won the NL Pennant. The Redbirds acquired Lightning Lou Brock and eventually won the NL Pennant and the World Series. The heat was on back in 1964. I hate to do this but, the Bombers did it too. The Bronx Zoo Yankees of 1978 stormed back. Stormin’ Norman Scwarzkopffed back. Stormin’ Norman Scwarzkopffed from fourteen back in the standings to eventually force a heartbreaker. A heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don’t you mess around with me! Heartbreaker of a tiebreaker against my beloved Red Sox. Sure it’s a little harsh…but, here. Cannonball it, cannonball! Cannonball comin’ through, cannonball! The 2004 Red Sox. They came back. Down 0-3. Cannonball Dave Roberts. Cannonball Curt Schilling. Cannonball Big Papi. Cannonball Cave Man. Cannonball the greatest comeback of all time. Those comebacks were about great teams. Those comebacks were about great memories. They were special. Orange Blossom Special, rollin’ down the seaboard line. Today we’re gonna talk about a different kind of comeback. Individual comebacks. Captain Comebacks. Jim Harbaugh style. A different kind of special. Nomah special. Big Hurt special. Rickey Henderson special. Brett Saberhagen special. Bo Jackson special. Comeback Player of the Year special. Ridin’ the range once more. Totin’ my old .44. Back in the saddle again. Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, rockin’ to and fro. Back in the saddle again. Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, I go my way. Back in the saddle again.
The Indians believe Jhonny Peralta will be back in the saddle again. Yup, Jhonny. Make sure you spell it right. The Tribe thinks he will bounce back. Bounce back in a big way. Bounce back by April Fool’s Day. Bounce back to the .886 OPS Jhonny Peralta of 2005. Back when he was glad to be alive. Back before he took a dive. Back before he was an adventure in the field. Back when he batted .292 with twenty-four bombs and seventy-eight RBIs. All Indians records for a shortstop. In the off season of ‘05-06, Jhonny grew two inches. Had a tough time adjusting. But he’s ok now. He worked hard this winter in Cleveland. Peralta also had LASIK surgery to correct his vision. I remember hearing the same thing about Greg Vaughn one season. Then he went out and hit 50 dings with the Padres. Jhonny’s back in the saddle again. Quick Jhonny Peralta fun fact: The unusual spelling of his first name is attributed to a clerical error on his birth certificate. He has refused to have it changed.
Brad Lidgewill be back in the saddle again. Teammate Brad Ausmus seems to think so: “By the end of the season, he developed confidence in his two-seamer (sinking fastball) and it will carry over. It is a very good pitch for him, because it doesn’t sink straight down; it bores in on right-handed hitters and makes his slider that much more effective. He will be fine.” I think so too. Will he be Light Out once again? Is he still reeling from the Phat Albert Pujols home run in the ‘05 NLCS? He still has the stuff. He’s still tough enough. He’s still up to snuff. If he can harness that fastball, that is. Time to play the game! Time to bring the pain! Time to get back in the saddle again! Quick Brad Lidge fun fact: Lidge is the all-time leader in strikeouts-per-nine-innings (12.98) among pitchers with at least 200 appearances in their career.
Derrek Lee, Chicago Cubs. He should be back in the saddle again. The wrist injury took this superstar from forty-six to eight jacks. From one-hundred and one to seventeen extra-base hits. Now he’s healthy. Now he has thunder around him. Now it’s time to bring the lightning. The last time Derrek Lee was healthy for a full season, he had a higher batting average than Phat Albert Pujols. He had more doubles than Pujols. He had more triples than Pujols. He had more bombs and had a higher OPS than Pujols. Can he better than Pujols this year? I dunno about all that. I don’t know if he’s all that phat. I dunno if he’s phatter than that phat cat. I do know, he’ll be back in the saddle again. Quick Derrek Lee fun fact: Derrek Lee received a full-ride scholarship offer from the University of North Carolina to play basketball.
Rich Harden has the ability to win a Cy Young. I’m not just flinging dung. Not speaking in tongues. Harden has a 30-16 career mark with overpowering stuff. Mighty stuff. Marvelous stuff. Monumental stuff. Mind blowing stuff. Magnificent stuff. But his physical problems have taken him from thirty-one to nineteen to nine starts in three years. Word has it he’s now fit as a fiddle. A Stradivarius. With Big Barry Planet Zito gone, the A’s need Rich Harden. They need his ghost pitch to be most Caspery. At this point in the spring, Harden is throwing only fastballs and changeups, and he’s dominating. He just struck out five of the last six hitters he faced and tossed two scoreless innings in his team’s 4-3 win over the San Diego Padres. A’s fans gotta love that. They gotta love the fact he’s back in the saddle again. Quick Rich Harden fun fact: Harden began the 2003 season with Midland, and in 2 games, he had a 2-0 record and pitched 13 perfect innings, striking out 17 along the way.
Coco Crisp will be riding high in the saddle again. Crisp hurt his hand the first week of the season last year. Crisp was playing with a little bit of fear. Never really got out of second gear. Never returned to to full form. Never hit fastballs the way he once could. Now he’s all healed up. Now, with Julio Lugo on board, he can bat in a more comfortable spot in the two or eight spot. Now he can get hot. Hot as the Minnesota Vikings’ yacht. Now, he can be Coco Crisp, not just Johnny Damon’s replacement. Now, he’s back in the saddle again. Quick Coco Crisp fun fact: Coco's real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp.
Eric Gagne, Texas. Eric Ggne’s back in the saddle again. I know, I know. I know he’s only thrown fifteen and a third innings the last two years. But with his gigantic heart. With his gigantic heart and giganticker changeup. With his gigantic heart, giganticker change and the gigantickest of breaking balls, he’s back in the saddle. Bigger than big, taller than tall. Quicker than quick, stronger than strong. Ready to fight for right, against wrong. Gigantor, Gigantor, Gigantor. If he can throw eighty-nine to ninety-three, he can be a young Trevor Hoffman. Deja vu all over again. Can he go fifty-five for fifty-five again? Can he go eighty-four for eighty-four for again? Can he throw for an incredible 1.20 ERA, 137 Ks and 20 walks in 82 1/3 innings pitched again? Probably not. Who could? He can ride back in the saddle again. Game over! Quick Eric Gagne fun fact: Gagne and catcher Russell Martin became the first French-Canadian-born battery in a MLB game.
Honorable Mentions: Hideki Matsui, Jason Varitek, A-Broad- if you can call it a comeback, Randy Johnson, Pedro, Bartolo Colon, Armando Benitez, Nick Johnson, Todd Helton, Barry Bonds, Zack Geinke, Bobby Crosby, Carl Pavano, Jason Isringhausen, Hank Blalock, Brad Wilkerson, Rany Wolf, Jon Lester- I hope he does it, I hope he does it!, Jason Kubel, Darin Erstad, Jeremy Hermidia, Ben Sheets, Aaron Rowand, Mike Hampton.
josh q. public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you’re reading more than one. Good to the last drop!
American League in RBIs. Yes, Hamilton is among the leaders in home runs and slugging percentage. Yes, he plays a dy-no-mite center field. Yes, he’s doing all that; but this Voltron character is tearing it up. Loaded for bearing it up. Haven’t got a prayering it up. Last night, Voltron allowed a meager one run in six innings. Big deal, you say. Who cares, you say. I say that ties a major-league record by allowing fewer than two earned runs in each of his first eight starts in a season. Yowza! I also say only three other pitchers have done that. Just one in the live-ball era, Mike Norris of the A’s in 1980. The others were Dana Fillingim of the 1918 Boston Braves and Dutch Leonard of the1914 Red Sox. Now that’s saying 
something. That’s saying a lot. I’ll say something else. I’ll say Voltron is 6-1. I’ll say he leads the National League with a 1.12 ERA. I’ll say he’s mixing in a 96-mph fastball with a sick change. An ill change. Most illinest, stealinest, villianest B-Boy change. Dare I say it? A Pedro change. It’s no wonder they call him Little Pedro. Everybody’s been yipping about Johnny Cueto. Everybody’s been yapping about Johnny Cueto. Where is the love for Edinson? Father, Father, Father help us. Send some guidance from above. ‘Cause people got me, got me questionin’. Where is the love? 
pick ahead of Josh Beckett. Led the rookie league Hudson Valley Renegades. Led them to their first and only New York-Penn League championship. Then there was the car accident. Then there were lingering back and shoulder injuries. Then there were the drugs. Then there were the twenty-six tattoos. More drugs. Suicide attempts. More drugs. Sex and drugs and rock and roll is all my brain and body need. Sex and drugs and rock and roll are very good indeed. Missed four years of organized baseball to become a coke and crack addict. Now look at him. Take a look at the bad guy. Make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through! Better get outta his way! Better get out of Josh Hamilton’s way. The Natural drove in four runs last night. The Natural had his thirteenth multiple-RBI game of the season last night. That gives the Natural a major-league leading forty-three base 
knocks. That gives the Natural the most multiple-RBI games in the show. A lean mean RBI machine. Last April, he was named the National League’s Rookie of the Month. This April, he was recognized as the American League Player of the Month. He just gets better and better. Marlon Byrd: “Josh is a freak. A phenom. He’s going to do some wonderful things.” He already is, although Josh may disagree. Hamilton: “I just don’t feel like I’ve put everything together yet. I don’t feel like I’ve had a game where I’ve done everything.” Yikes! The kid already has the skillset of an absolute superstar. Live larges. A big house. Five cars. He’s in charge. Ten years from now, when I’m talking about Josh Hamilton, I’ll be talking about his superstardom. Not the remarkable backstory.
.jpg)
baseball world is on their own. The Boston Red Sox just made themselves the team to beat. Punks jump up to get beat down! All I can say is, if you’re playing the Sox, don’t be trailing going into the sixth. Don’t do it. Don’t go to bed, with no price on your head. No, no, don’t do it. Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time. Yeah, don’t do it. ’Cause if you do, if you do, you’ll be trailing in the ninth. The Red Sox just ended up with the best reliever on the market. I’m all lost in the supermarket. I can no longer shop happily. I came in here for that special offer. A guaranteed personality. The Sox ended up with a guaranteed personality. The Red Sox just ended up with Eric 
Gagne. Woopy doopy! Go Go Gophers style. The best bullpen in baseball just got better. Things are going great, and they’re only getting better. I’m doing all right, getting good grades. The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades. How about that? How about this? This is what Red Sox foes will have to face in the seventh, eighth and ninth. Manny Delcarmen, Hideki Okajima, Gagne and Jonathan Papelbon. Lawdy Miss Clawdy! Abandon all hope ye who enter here. Manny Delcarmen. A local kid. Boston Public Schools product. Delcarmen throws heat. Filthy heat. 95+ heat. Not to mention a nasty inside outside curve. Then comes Hideki Okajima. The bestest little surprise to come out of Japan since the Walk-Man. An All-Star in his first year. Allowed a home run to John Buck on his very first pitch in the major leagues. He then proceeded to hold opponents scoreless for nearly two months until the Yankees finally scored a run off of a cheap fielder’s choice courtesy of A-
Broad spiking Dustin Pedroia in May. Okie’s just been lights out. Boom boom! Out go the lights. Next up, the new guy. Eric Gagne. Once the greatest closer in all of baseball. But then came the injuries. Then came surgeries. The doctors took out eighty-five percent of Gagne’s L-4 and L-5 vertebrae last summer. The doctors performed surgery on his pitching elbow last summer. And now he’s back. Back on track. Back on the attack like a power pack. So far this season, Gagné is 2-0 with 16 saves and a 2.16 earned run average in 33 innings. 29 Ks to boot. His fastball may not be as fast as it once was but his change up is still as gross as ever. And that spells trouble. Trouble, oh we got trouble. Right here in River City! With a capital T. That rhymes with P. That stands for Pap. The best closer in the free world. Wild thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything groovy. Theo just made everything groovier. Roll Sox roll! World Series, here we come! How sweet it is!
failure. And the intern was a mess. Gagne was a mess. Gagne was a mess last summer. He thought it might be over last summer. Greer is putting the ball in play. He gets it out deep and Havlicek steals it! Over to Sam Jones! Havlicek stole the ball! It’s all over…It’s all over! Johnny Havlicek stole the ball! The doctors took out eighty-five percent of Gagne’s L-4 and L-5 vertebrae last summer. The doctors performed surgery on his pitching elbow last summer. With all of that, the Texas Rangers still took out a six-million dollar flier on this cat. You can’t beat that with a bat. You can get with this or you can get with that. You can get with this or you can get with that.
You should get with this, ’cause this is where its at. Eric Gagne’s where it’s at. Eric Gagne. Closer. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. Better than he was a before? Now that’s a tough bill to fill. A climb all uphill. But he’s got the skill. The skills to pay the bills. Had the skills to save fifty-two games in his first season as a closer. Had the skills to save fifty-five out of fifty-five the following year. Fifty-five saves lives. That made him the first pitcher to ever record fifty saves in more than one season. It also made 
him the fastest pitcher to ever reach the 100-save plateau. Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Powerful enough to convert eighty-four consecutive save chances. Another major league record. Powerful enough to convert 161 out of 167 chances. Yowza! Earned himself the Rolaids Relief Man of the Year Award. How do you spell relief? G-a-g-n-e. Became the first relief pitcher in eleven years to win the Cy. Hey hey my my!
Rock and roll will never die. It doesn’t look like Eric Gagne’s gonna die either. Not yet. Saddle your ponies you bet! Eric Gagne walked onto a major league mound for the first time in more than ten months last night. Eric Gagne pitched a scoreless ninth inning including a strikeout of Ichiro last night. Eric Gagne earned his second save in twenty-two months last night. Oscar Goldman would have been proud last night.
don’t believe it, I don’t believe it, I will not believe it! The 1964 Cardinals did it. They came back. They came all the way back from seventh place. The Redbirds were 28-31 when they acquired Lightning Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio. The immortal Ernie Broglio. The rest, they say, is history. The Redbirds acquired Lightning Lou Brock and eventually won the NL Pennant. The Redbirds acquired 
Lightning Lou Brock and eventually won the NL Pennant and the World Series. The heat was on back in 1964. I hate to do this but, the Bombers did it too. The Bronx Zoo Yankees of 1978 stormed back. Stormin’ Norman Scwarzkopffed back. Stormin’ Norman Scwarzkopffed from fourteen back in the standings to eventually force a heartbreaker. A heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don’t you mess around with me! Heartbreaker of a tiebreaker against my beloved Red Sox. Sure it’s a little harsh…but, here. Cannonball it, cannonball! Cannonball comin’ through, 
cannonball! The 2004 Red Sox. They came back. Down 0-3. Cannonball Dave Roberts. Cannonball Curt Schilling. Cannonball Big Papi. Cannonball Cave Man. Cannonball the greatest comeback of all time. Those comebacks were about great teams. Those comebacks were about great memories. They were special. Orange Blossom Special, rollin’ down the seaboard line. Today we’re gonna talk about a different kind of comeback. Individual comebacks. Captain Comebacks. Jim Harbaugh style. A different kind of special. Nomah special. Big Hurt special. Rickey Henderson special. Brett Saberhagen special. Bo Jackson special. Comeback Player of the Year special. Ridin’ the range once more. Totin’ my old .44. Back in the saddle again. Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, rockin’ to and fro. Back in the saddle again. Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, I go my way. Back in the saddle again. 
Brad Lidge will be back in the saddle again. Teammate Brad Ausmus seems to think so: “By the end of the season, he developed confidence in his two-seamer (sinking fastball) and it will carry over. It is a very good pitch for him, because it doesn’t sink straight down; it bores in on right-handed hitters and makes his slider that much more effective. He will be fine.” I think so too. Will he be Light Out once again? Is he still reeling from the Phat Albert Pujols home run in the ‘05 NLCS? He still has the stuff. He’s still tough enough. He’s still up to snuff. If he can harness that fastball, that is. Time to play the game! Time to bring the pain! Time to get back in the saddle again! Quick Brad Lidge fun fact: Lidge is the all-time leader in strikeouts-per-nine-innings (12.98) among pitchers with at least 200 appearances in their career.
wrist injury took this superstar from forty-six to eight jacks. From one-hundred and one to seventeen extra-base hits. Now he’s healthy. Now he has thunder around him. Now it’s time to bring the lightning. The last time Derrek Lee was healthy for a full season, he had a higher batting average than Phat Albert Pujols. He had more doubles than Pujols. He had more triples than Pujols. He had more bombs and had a higher OPS than Pujols. Can he better than Pujols this year? I dunno about all that. I don’t know if he’s all that phat. I dunno if he’s phatter than that phat cat. I do know, he’ll be back in the saddle again. Quick Derrek Lee fun fact: Derrek Lee received a full-ride scholarship offer from the University of North Carolina to play basketball.
Rich Harden has the ability to win a Cy Young. I’m not just flinging dung. Not speaking in tongues. Harden has a 30-16 career mark with overpowering stuff. Mighty stuff. Marvelous stuff. Monumental stuff. Mind blowing stuff. Magnificent stuff. But his physical problems have taken him from thirty-one 
to nineteen to nine starts in three years. Word has it he’s now fit as a fiddle. A Stradivarius. With Big Barry Planet Zito gone, the A’s need Rich Harden. They need his ghost pitch to be most Caspery. At this point in the spring, Harden is throwing only fastballs and changeups, and he’s dominating. He just struck out five of the last six hitters he faced and tossed two scoreless innings in his team’s 4-3 win over the San Diego Padres. A’s fans gotta love that. They gotta love the fact he’s back in the saddle again. Quick Rich Harden fun fact: Harden began the 2003 season with Midland, and in 2 games, he had a 2-0 record and pitched 13 perfect innings, striking out 17 along the way.
Coco Crisp will be riding high in the saddle again. Crisp hurt his hand the first week of the season last year. Crisp was playing with a little bit of fear. Never really got out of second gear. Never returned to to full form. Never hit fastballs the way he once could. Now he’s all healed up. Now, with Julio Lugo on board, he can bat in a more comfortable spot in the two or eight spot. Now he can get hot. Hot as the Minnesota Vikings’ yacht. Now, he can be Coco Crisp, not just Johnny Damon’s replacement. Now, he’s back in the saddle again. Quick Coco Crisp fun fact: Coco's real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp.
thrown fifteen and a third innings the last two years. But with his gigantic heart. With his gigantic heart and giganticker changeup. With his gigantic heart, giganticker change and the gigantickest of breaking balls, he’s back in the saddle. Bigger than big, taller than tall. Quicker than quick, stronger than strong. Ready to fight for right, against wrong. Gigantor, Gigantor, Gigantor. If he can throw eighty-nine to ninety-three, he can be a young Trevor Hoffman. Deja vu all over again. Can he go fifty-five for fifty-five again? Can he go eighty-four for eighty-four for again? Can he throw for an incredible 1.20 ERA, 137 Ks and 20 walks in 82 1/3 innings pitched again? Probably not. Who could? He can ride back in the saddle again. Game over! Quick Eric Gagne fun fact: Gagne and catcher Russell Martin became the first French-Canadian-born battery in a MLB game.
