Josh Q. Public:Nobody, but nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog anymore! -Harry Callahan
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Did you see it? Did you see Pau? Kung Pau. Biff #### eee-yow ka-Pau. NBA action. Where amazing happens. Fan-tastic! I love this game! Let’s get this straight right off the bat. I hate the Lakers. I hated Showtime. I hated Dancing Barry. I hated Magic. I hated Kareem. I never hated Shaq, but I do hate Kobe. But, if I’m a Lakers fan, I love this trade. Pau can score inside. Pau can score outside. His moves down in the box remind folks of Kevin McHale. He’s ambidextrous. And like my main man Yogi Berra always says: “Boy, I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.” In his debut last night, Pau showed why the Lakers were willing to give a right arm to get him. Ok, ok. Maybe not a right arm. Maybe a left pinky toe. But still. The brand spakinest newest Laker looked spec-TAC-ular last night. Marv Albert style. Pau Gasol notched twenty-four points. Pau Gasol reeled in twelve rebounds. Pau Gasol dished out forty cents. Gasol went ten for fifteen from the field. He scored from everywhere. Underneath. Mid-range. Put backs. Off the pick and roll. Here there and everywhere. I want her everywhere, and if she’s beside me I know I need never care. Kobe now knows if Pau’s beside him, he need never care. Kobe Bean: “He’s an incredible player. He makes everybody’s life easier.” Translation: Now, when they double me, they will pay. The Nets paid. Sean Williams paid. Paid down on the blocks. Josh Boone paid. Paid around the glass. Yes! And the foul! Made them all pay in the fourth quarter. Up only four to start the fourth quarter. Eleven big points in the big fourth quarter. Five for five from the field in the big fourth quarter. Five big rebounds in the big fourth quarter. One big pass in the big fourth quarter. You saw it. Saw it on Yes. Saw it on KCAL. Saw it on Sports Center. You saw point guard Derek Fisher leading the break. You saw him get it underneath to Pau. You saw Pau barely touch the rock as he flipped it over his head from his position in the low post. You saw Fish catch it without breaking stride and drop said rock into the basket. Dare I say it? Showtime, baby! Showtime. Wait ’til Kobe’s finger is not so numb. Wait ’til Andrew Bynum gets back. You just wait. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.
Public Acknowledgements: Batman, Beatles, Elliott Teaford, Mike Bresnahan and Tom Petty
Josh Q. Public:Spanish bombs, yo te quiero infinito. Yo te quiero, oh mi corazon. -The Clash
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! All right ramblers, let’s get rambling. Finally. After losing ten straight, there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Finally something to get excited about. Pau Gasol. Standing tall. The most wanted man in basketball. On the trading block. Rumor has it, he’s going to the Bulls. Rumor has it, he’s going to the Cavs. Rumor has it, he’s going to the Nets. Rumor has it, he’s going to the Celtics. The Celtics? Really? That’s what Peter Vescey says. That’s what Peter Vescey says in Hoop Du Jour.
That’s good news. Real good news. Like the Supremes always say: Oh my baby’s comin home tomorrow, ain’t that good news? Yeah, ain’t that news? I’m gonna have him a party at the station. Ain’t that good news? Yeah, ain’t that news? I’m in. I like this guy. I want this guy. The Celtics should too. They did back in 2001. Back in 2001 when they offered their 10th and 11th picks in order to move up in the draft to get him. They should still want him. Kung Pau is good. Real good. Kung Pau can score. Kung Pau can score in the post. Lethal in the low-post. A lethal weapon. Martin Riggs style. He can play facing the rim. He can play with his back to it. He’s a dipsy-doo dunkeroo slam-jam-bam just a waiting to happen. And that hook. That impossible to block hook. Even Kareem loves to look at that hook. A devastating hook. Cassius Clay style. He can pass too. He can run the floor. He makes good decisions. Am I gushing? Am I going too far? I’m sorry. I’m just excited.
Excited at the prospect of the Truth finally getting the oppurtunity to play with a bonafide star. This is a two-star league. You can’t leave home without’em. You ain’t winning nothing without’em. See Kobe Bean. Maybe the best you ever seen. Better than Big Daddy Don Bodine. But he hasn’t been able to go it alone. No one has. Wally’s not that guy. Antoine almost was. But they had Kenny Anderson too. Ricky Davis certainly wasn’t. I don’t think any of the kids are either. Yet. Pau is. Paul Pierce and Kung Pau. I like it. I like it a lot. Kung Pao up front with Big Al. Happy days would be here again. The skies above would be clear again. But at what cost? That’s the question. I would give up anybody, anybody not named Paul Pierce or Al Jefferson. Even Gerald Green the Dunk Machine? Yes, even Gerald Green the Dunk Machine. Jerry West wanted him in the draft. Wanted him real bad. He can have him now. Don’t misunderstand. I love Gerald. Think he could be a star. Pau is a star. He lives large. Big House. Five cars. He’s in charge.
If Pau is truly available, the Celtics have to explore the opportunity. They have to. Playing for the draft is playing for a complementary frontcourt player to go along with Big Al Jefferson. Pau is that complimentary player, and then some. Danny, if you’re listening. Pull the trigger. Please. Big Al, the Truth and Kung Pau could take the Hot Lantic. Could take the Hot Lantic in a hot a minute. Could take the Hot Lantic in a hot Boston minute. Haven’t we waited long enough?
Josh Q. Public: The preservation of the means of knowledge among the lowest ranks is of more importance to the Public than all the property of the rich men in the country. -John Adams
Public Knowledge:
1. So you weren’t impressed with the Big Aristotle’s comeback performance. The fourteen minutes, five points and five boards weren’t enough for ya? You want more. Well, tonight’s the night. It’s gonna be all right. The Heat face the Eddy Curryless Knicks. I think maybe, just maybe, Shaq will put up some numbers.
2. Guess who’s taking the hill again today. Guess who’s making a triumphant comeback again today. That’s right, it’s none other than Carl Pavano. Last seen, Mr. Pavano was smashing up his Porsche and his ribs. Hasn’t thrown in the bigs since June of ‘05. Show me what you got little mama. Show me what you got. Inquiring minds want to know.
3. Pau Gasol to the Baby Bulls? Perhaps. Paxson says he’s interested. They’ve needed a body in the middle who can score ever since they traded away fat Eddy Curry. But for who? Madison Square Gordon and Luol Deng. Not bloody likely. We’ll be keeping an eye on this one.
4. Trouble in Cleveland? The Cavs are 24-18. All well and good. But they’ve lost six out of their last ten. Bye-bye ####? Dwane Casey style? Maybe. Whenever high hopes fail to come to fruition, it’s the coach who usually suffers. Regardless of who misses big free throws.
5. What happened? They used to be the most swinging alligators in the swamp. They used to be the greatest percolators when they really started to romp. Wally Gator style. Now? Not so much. Seven times this season, the Nets have led by at least ten points and lost. Monday they were up twenty. Wednesday, they were up eleven with four minutes left. This team could be 27-15. Instead, they’re 20-22. Good thing they’re in the Hot Lantic. Not for nothing, Cuttino Mobley’s 3-pointer with 0.6 seconds remaining gave the Clippers a 102-101 victory over New Jersey. It was the Nets’ third consecutive one-point loss, equaling the longest streak in NBA history.
6. Red Sox finalize deal on JD Drew. About time. Coconut Crisp, Julio Lugo, Papi, Manny, JD Drew. That’s a pretty daggone good line-up. Gy-Ro-Mite!, Schilling, Pap, Boom Boom Beckett, Wakefield. That’s a pretty daggone good staff. You listen to me brother, saddle your ponies you bet! Bring it ####es! Listen to me now, or listen to me later: Fear the Red Sox!
7. Dewey beats Truman. Vee Dot Carter: “I’m thrilled. It’s always just a great feeling to be selected as an All-Star as a starter.” Hey dum-dum, Hibachi’s starting.
8. Does it ever stop? Tractor Traylor. Remember him? Broke a backboard while at Michigan. Broke his arm while out with Mateen Cleaves. Well, he broke something else. The law. His Largeness just pleaded guilty yesterday. Pleaded guilty yesterday to preparing a false tax return after hiding assets for a convicted drug dealer. I’ll never get it.
9. Start me up! How is Canadian Idol Steve Nash not an All-Star starter. Tracy McGrady? Really? I love T-Mac as much as the next guy, but c’mon. Stupid.
10. The Nugget trade no one is talking about. Earl Boykins for Steve Blake. The Nuggets have won five straight since attaining Blake. He has started at the point in all five of those games. Coinky dinky? We think not. Blake pushes it. Pushes it real good. Hits the three. Protects the rock. The Nuggets are the team no one wants to see come playoff time.
11. Quote of the day. Gilbert Arenas: “He’d like to see what I’m going to do against Duke? I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I’ll give up one NBA season to play against Duke. One college game that’s five fouls, right? … 40-minute game at Duke, they got soft rims I’d probably score 84 or 85. I wouldn’t pass the ball. I wouldn’t even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person.” And that’s different from now, how exactly?
12. Baby boomers. Four of the five players selected for the Eastern Conference All-Star Team are 25 years old or younger: Agent Zero and Flash are both 25; Chris Bosh and King James are both 22. In the past 50 years there has been only one NBA All-Star Game in which four (or more) starters from one conference were no older than 25. The 2002 West team had four: The Big Ticket, Little Stevie Franchise, The Big Fundamental and The Mamba.
13. Money makin’. Money, money makin’. Dallas Maverick super disco breakin’. Disco Dirk. Nowitzki had 11 rebounds, marking his seventh straight game with at least 20 points and 10 rebounds. He also had a seven-game streak earlier this season. No other NBA player has had even one streak of five or more consecutive games with 20 or more points and 10 or more rebounds this season. MVP?
14. Multiple published reports state that Kenny Anderson will be named quarterbacks coach of the Steelers. Anderson played all 16 of his NFL seasons with the Bengals (1971-1986) and he started 23 career games against Pittsburgh, the most for any NFL quarterback vs. the Steelers over the last 50 years. I always liked that cat. Remember 1981? Huh? Do ya? Sherman, set the way back machine. 1981. Anderson had completed 62.6% of his passes for 3,754 yards and 29 touchdowns, with only 10 interceptions leading the NFL with a career-high 98.4 Passer Rating. Associated Press and Professional Football Writers of America NFL Most Valuable Player Awards and the NFL Comeback Player of the Year Award. Freezer Bowl to the Super Bowl. The Bengals lost Super Bowl XVI to the 49ers, but Anderson wasn’t bad. 25 of 34 passes for 300 yards. Two touchdowns. Another one on the ground. At the time, his 25 completions and 73.5% completion percentage were both Super Bowl records. Kenny Anderson ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Anderson.
15. Oh, and for the love of god, can someone please tell me how to my avatar up here. It's driving me nuts!
josh q. public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you’re reading more than one. Good to the last drop!
the Lakers were willing to give a right arm to get him. Ok, ok. Maybe not a right arm. Maybe a left pinky toe. But still. The brand spakinest newest Laker looked spec-TAC-ular last night. Marv Albert style. Pau Gasol notched twenty-four points. Pau Gasol reeled in twelve rebounds. Pau Gasol dished out forty cents. Gasol went ten for fifteen from the field. He scored from everywhere. Underneath. Mid-range. Put backs. Off the pick and roll. Here there and everywhere. I want her everywhere, and if she’s beside me I know I need never care. Kobe now knows if Pau’s beside him, he need never care. Kobe Bean: “He’s an incredible player. He makes everybody’s life easier.” Translation: Now, when they
double me, they will pay. The Nets paid. Sean Williams paid. Paid down on the blocks. Josh Boone paid. Paid around the glass. Yes! And the foul! Made them all pay in the fourth quarter. Up only four to start the fourth quarter. Eleven big points in the big fourth quarter. Five for five from the field in the big fourth quarter. Five big rebounds in the big fourth quarter. One big pass in the big fourth quarter. You saw it. Saw it on Yes. Saw it on KCAL. Saw it on Sports Center. You saw point guard Derek Fisher leading the break. You saw him get it underneath to Pau. You saw Pau barely touch the rock as he flipped it over his head from his position in the low post. You saw Fish catch it without breaking stride and drop said rock into the basket. Dare I say it? Showtime, baby! Showtime. Wait ’til Kobe’s finger is not so numb. Wait ’til Andrew Bynum gets back. You just wait. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.
That’s good news. Real good news. Like the Supremes always say: Oh my baby’s comin home tomorrow, ain’t that good news? Yeah, ain’t that news? I’m gonna have him a party at the station. Ain’t that good news? Yeah, ain’t that news? I’m in. I like this guy. I want this guy. The Celtics should too. They did back in 2001. Back in 2001 when they offered their 10th and 11th picks in order to move up in the draft to get him. They should still want him. Kung Pau is good. Real good. Kung Pau can score. Kung Pau can score in the post. Lethal in the low-post. A lethal weapon. Martin Riggs style. He can play facing the rim. He can play with his back to it. He’s a dipsy-doo dunkeroo slam-jam-bam just a waiting to happen. And that hook. That impossible to block hook. Even Kareem loves to look at that hook. A devastating hook. Cassius Clay style. He can pass too. He can run the floor. He makes good decisions. Am I gushing? Am I going too far? I’m sorry. I’m just excited. 
bonafide star. This is a two-star league. You can’t leave home without’em. You ain’t winning nothing without’em. See Kobe Bean. Maybe the best you ever seen. Better than Big Daddy Don Bodine. But he hasn’t been able to go it alone. No one has. Wally’s not that guy. Antoine almost was. But they had Kenny Anderson too. Ricky Davis certainly wasn’t. I don’t think any of the kids are either. Yet. Pau is. Paul Pierce and Kung Pau. I like it. I like it a lot. Kung Pao up front with Big Al. Happy days would be here again. The skies above would be clear again. But at what cost? That’s the question. I would give up anybody, anybody not named Paul Pierce or Al Jefferson. Even Gerald Green the Dunk Machine? Yes, even Gerald Green the Dunk Machine. Jerry West wanted him in the draft. Wanted him real bad. He can have him now. Don’t misunderstand. I love Gerald. Think he could be a star. Pau is a star. He lives large. Big House. Five cars. He’s in charge. 
If Pau is truly available, the Celtics have to explore the opportunity. They have to. Playing for the draft is playing for a complementary frontcourt player to go along with Big Al Jefferson. Pau is that complimentary player, and then some. Danny, if you’re listening. Pull the trigger. Please. Big Al, the Truth and Kung Pau could take the Hot Lantic. Could take the Hot Lantic in a hot a minute. Could take the Hot Lantic in a hot Boston minute. Haven’t we waited long enough?
2. Guess who’s taking the hill again today. Guess who’s making a triumphant comeback again today. That’s right, it’s none other than Carl Pavano. Last seen, Mr. Pavano was smashing up his Porsche and his ribs. Hasn’t thrown in the bigs since June of ‘05. Show me what you got little mama. Show me what you got. Inquiring minds want to know.
4. Trouble in Cleveland? The Cavs are 24-18. All well and good. But they’ve lost six out of their last ten. Bye-bye 
6. Red Sox finalize deal on JD Drew. About time. Coconut Crisp, Julio Lugo, Papi, Manny, JD Drew. That’s a pretty daggone good line-up. Gy-Ro-Mite!, Schilling, Pap, Boom Boom Beckett, Wakefield. That’s a pretty daggone good staff. You listen to me brother, saddle your ponies you bet! Bring it 
10. The Nugget trade no one is talking about. Earl Boykins for Steve Blake. The Nuggets have won five straight since attaining Blake. He has started at the point in all five of those games. Coinky dinky? We think not. Blake pushes it. Pushes it real good. Hits the three. Protects the rock. The Nuggets are the team no one wants to see come playoff time.
12. Baby boomers. Four of the five players selected for the Eastern Conference All-Star Team are 25 years old or younger: Agent Zero and Flash are both 25; Chris Bosh and King James are both 22. In the past 50 years there has been only one NBA All-Star Game in which four (or more) starters from one conference were no older than 25. The 2002 West team had four: The Big Ticket, Little Stevie Franchise, The Big Fundamental and The Mamba.
14. Multiple published reports state that Kenny Anderson will be named quarterbacks coach of the Steelers. Anderson played all 16 of his NFL seasons with the Bengals (1971-1986) and he started 23 career games against Pittsburgh, the most for any NFL quarterback vs. the Steelers over the last 50 years. I always liked that cat. Remember 1981? Huh? Do ya? Sherman, set the way back machine. 1981. Anderson had completed 62.6% of his passes for 3,754 yards and 29 touchdowns, with only 10 interceptions leading the NFL 
with a career-high 98.4 Passer Rating. Associated Press and Professional Football Writers of America NFL Most Valuable Player Awards and the NFL Comeback Player of the Year Award. Freezer Bowl to the Super Bowl. The Bengals lost Super Bowl XVI to the 49ers, but Anderson wasn’t bad. 25 of 34 passes for 300 yards. Two touchdowns. Another one on the ground. At the time, his 25 completions and 73.5% completion percentage were both Super Bowl records. Kenny Anderson ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Anderson.
