Josh Q. Public:Tuck you in, warm within. Keep you free from sin. Till the sandman he comes. -Metallica
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like my main Matthew always says, “So the last shall be first, and the first last.” Like Michael Kay said. Michael Kay is on the radio today. A few days ago, Michael Kay said Mariano Rivera should start in this summer’s 79th Midsummer Classic. Michael Kay was right. And what’s right is right. This is right. Phil Niekro says, “This final All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium is what the Stadium is all about, memories.” What better memory could there be than trotting out the Sandman to start that ballgame? Mariano may not have built this house, but he sure put a lot of work into it. Put a lot of work into it back when he was setting up John Wetteland. Back when he was setting up the first Yankees Championship in eighteen years. Back when he was setting up a Dynasty. The rest, as they say, is history. A history of memories. MLB, Terry Francona, do like M-M-M-Martin. Do like M-M-M-Malcom. Do the right thing. Howard Cosell will tell you, “What’s right isn’t always popular. What’s popular isn’t always right.” I’m here to tell ya, this will be both right and popular. Get her done.
Josh Q. Public: And I’m a bad boy ’cause I don’t even miss her. I’m a bad boy, for breakin’ her heart. And I’m free, free fallin’. Yeah I’m free, free fallin’. -Tom Petty
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? What? Oh. You thought I forgot. Thought I forgot about the Yankees. Ha ha ha! Think again. Last place. This is rich. Rich I tell you! Sing it with me ####es. Follow the bouncing ball. Na, na… na, na, na, na… hey, hey, hey… goodbye. Ha ha ha ha! Goodbye Yankees. I know it. You know it. The ghost of George Herman Ruth knows it. The New York Yankees are all done. I guess it’s over, call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No I’m not. I’m not sorry. Last night the Yankees fell. Last night, the Yankees fell to last place. Last night, the Yankee fell to last place in the American League Beast. Last place behind theRays. Last place behind the Red Sox. Last place behind the Orioles. Last place behind the Blue Jays. The first time that the Yankees have resided in sole possession of last place this many games in since 1995. Ha ha ha! Poor old George Steinbrenner must be rolling around in his grave right about now. Can you blame him? The Yankees are atrocious. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious! If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious. I don’t care. I don’t care if I sound precocious. It’s true. Like my main Casey Stengel always says, “Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.” Well, Yankees pitchers aren’t pitching and Yankees hitters aren’t hitting. You do the math. We all know about the pitching woes. The well documented pitching woes. We all know about Phil Hughes. On the DL. We all know about Ian Kennedy. Akinori Iwamura’s bomb on Kennedy’s fourth pitch of the game last night put the Rays ahead for good. We all know about Kei Igawa. Back down on the farm. We all know about them. It’s the hitting, or lack there of. It’s the lack of hitting that’s sinking this Yankees ship. It’s the lack of hitting that has these Yankees in such trouble. Big trouble. Big trouble in little China. Adventure doesn’t come any bigger! Against Tampa Bay’s four starting pitchers, the Yankees scored two runs in 27 1/3 innings. On this 2-4 road trip, they hit .214 with runners in scoring position. 9-for-42 with zero home runs and a paltry three extra-base hits. Ha ha ha! Where’s A-Broad when you need him? Where’s hip hip Jor-ge? There’s no need to fear. Captain Caveman is here. Leadoff hitter Captain Caveman was 1-for-18 in the Tampa Bay series. That’s no way to start your day. Maybe putting on gold lame underwear is. Jason Giambi is hitting .181. Jason Giambi is in a funk. You know what that means. Whenever he is in a prolonged hitting funk, he wears a gold lamé, tiger-stripe thong under his uniform. “I only put it on when I’m desperate to get out of a big slump.” Ha ha ha! It doesn’t get more desperate than this. It doesn’t get more desperate than last place. All I can say is, Let’s Go Mets! Tonight’s the night we’re gonna make it happen. Tonight we’ll put all other things aside. Keep stepping on those Yankees necks. Put them out of their misery. No division. No Wild Card. No nothing. Take your shoes off. Put your feet up. Sit back, relax, and be a Sox watcher. Roll Sox, roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Gary DeCarlo, Johnny Mathis, Mary Poppins, Jack Burton and the Pointer Sisters
Josh Q. Public:This I know. That I know nothing. -Plato
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! So the list comes out in like an hour. Woopy doopy! This is great. I dunno know why, but I can’t wait to see it. Listy listy, who’s gonna be pissedy? That’s what I wanna know. What are thses cats who were outed gonna say? Is it gonna be more of the same? More “See, I don’t even know what that is?” More ”I did not get amphetamines from Mark Sweeney?” More “I had a perscription from my on-line dentist? More “Flaxseed oil?” Snake oil. I can’t wait to hear the outrage of Roger Clemens. The outrage of Rocket Roger Clemens who in the “twilight of his career” turned his 10-13, fat and lazy season with the Red Sox in ‘96 around, and then suddenly transformed himself into a ‘97 Cy Young Toronto Blue Jay. The outrage of Rocket Roger Clemens as he claims this can all be attributed to good habits and clean living. The streets is talkin’ Rocket. Jose’s talking. Jason Grimsley’s talking. Brian McNamee's talking. I can’t wait to hear your talking. Oh ya, carry your own damn luggage!
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Ha ha ha! This is great. Like my main man Porky Pig always says: H-h-h-help! I-i-i-i-i-indians are coming! I-i-i-i-indians! B-b-b-bows and arrows! T-t-t-tomah-h-hatchets! W-w-w-wigwams! All kinds of - all kinds of stuff like that there! Yup all kinds stuff like that there. Like Grady Sizemore smashing a bomb on just the third pitch of the game. Like Mr. Wang, no offense, getting chased in the second after giving up four big runs. Four huge runs. Four titanic runs. Like Paul Byrd allowing just two runs in five-plus innings. Like Jhonny Peralta hitting .467 for the series. Like Rafael Perez retiring 12 straight Yankees in Games 1 and 2 before getting Derek Jeter to bounce into a double play in game three. Like CC Sabathia and Fausto Carmona proving why they may be the best one two punch in baseball. Like the Pride of Bayonne, NJ, Joe Borowski throwing the final strike and the Tribe running onto the field to start the celebration. Celebration. Let’s all celebrate and have a good time. Celebration. We gonna celebrate and have a good time. The Cleveland Indians are celebrating. Suzyn Waldman is not. WCBS 880 Audio Neither are the Bleacher Creatures:
Ro-ger Cle-mens. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Fat Roger. Begs out of the game after three. Begs out of the game like he did in ‘86. Begs out of the game like he did with the Astros. There’s your savior. Steadfast and true. Coming to your emotional rescue. De-rek Je-ter. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Captain Golden Boy. Captain Golden Boy couldn’t stand up for falling down. Captain Golden Boy hit .176 in these playoffs. Captain Rally Killer. Killed two rallies Sunday with double plays. Killed another one last night with a double play. Get the papers. Get the papers. Chien-Ming Wang. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Cy Young? Ha ha ha! Mr. Wang, no offense. Mr. Wang finished 0-2. Mr. Wang finished with a 19.06 ERA. Mr. Wang pitched a combined 5 2/3 innings over his two starts. Hi-deki Mat-sui. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Oh no, they say he’s got to go. Go go Godzilla, yeah! Godzilla ended up going 2-for-11. Godzilla ended up going for no extra base hits. Zero. Zilch. Nada. In the third inning last night, Hideki Matsui came up with a man on. Groundout. In the fifth, he came up with another man on. Pop-up. Go go Godzilla! Jor-ge ####-ada. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. The great last hope. Up with two out in the bottom of the ninth. Strike out. Ball game. Posada had the season of his life as the Yankees were trying to catch the Sox. Posada hit .133 in the series. Hip-hip Jorge! Fi-rst Ba-se. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Didn’t matter who played there. It did not help. A-lex Rod-riguez. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. A-Broad. A-Broad did hit .267. But know this, three of those hits were singles with nobody on base. A-Broad was 0-for-5 with four strikeouts with men on base. Mr. April-September. Nobody left this series unscathed. Box seats suck!
I think it’s safe to say the Yankees era is over. The magic is gone. The party’s over. Guess it’s over, call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No reason to pretend. We knew it had to end some day, this way. See you later Joe. See you later Fat Roger. See you later A-Broad. See you later suckers! Roll Sox roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Awful Announcing, Cleveland Plain Dealer, NY Post, NY Daily News, Kool and the Gang, Rolling Stones, Good Fellas, Caddyshack, Blue Oyster Cult and Johnny Mathis
Public Spectacle: This episode of Josh Q. Public is powered by Nike
Josh Q. Public:Down…The paint is peelin’. Now…When the chips are down. Down…You gotta lose all feelin’. Now…when the chips are down. Down…Your head goes round ‘n’ round. -Terror Squad
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! I love baseball. I never got to bat in the major leagues. I would have liked to have had that chance. Just once. To stare down a big league pitcher. To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink. Make him think you know something he doesn’t. That’s what I wish for. Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it. To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball. To run the bases - stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag. That’s my wish, Ray Kinsella. That’s my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true? Yes there is, Archie. Yes there is. The 200 men representing eight cities will create enough magic to make all our dreams true. MLB baseball. MLB Playoff baseball. It’s why we hung around so long. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: There’s a long drive… It’s gonna be, I believe….. The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! WAHOO! Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck, of the left field stands! The Giants win the pennant, and they’re goin’ crazy! They’re goin’ crazy! Heeeey-oh! We hung around so long to hear stuff like: Deep to left! Yastrzemski will not get it — it’s a home run! A three-run home run for Bucky Dent and the Yankees now lead by the score of 3-2! Bucky Dent has just hit his fourth home run of the year and look at that Yankees bench out to greet him. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight! What kind of stuff are we gonna hear this year?
Rockies Phillies: September 13. The Rockies leave the City Of Brotherly Love after a two game split. Even Steven. Kissing your sister. Yichhh! So, we meet again? Meet again three weeks and two incredible stories later. The Rockies and the Fighting Phills will attempt to prolong their epic dramas in a best-of-five National League Division Series. So what will we hear? Will we hear: Matt Holliday! That ball is going and it ain’t coming back! Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP! Matt Holliday. The hero of the play-in game. The one for everything. For all the marbles. All the starbles. All the Yougoslavian Dinarbles. All the come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles. Matt Holliday capped his superstar season by obliterating twelve years of futility and irrelevancy. Is that what we’ll hear? Or will we hear this: Swing…and a long drive, watch this baby, outta here! Home run. Jimmy Rollins. The real MVP! MVP! MVP! The Mets had a chance to win the World Series last year. Last year is over. I think we are the team to beat in the NL East, finally. Jimmy talked the talk. Jimmy walked the walk. These cleats are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these cleats are gonna walk all over you. I say these cleats walk all over the Rockies.
Diamondbacks Cubs: The Diamondbacks posted the best record in the National League. The Cubs are the team everybody’s pulling for. The Diamondbacks won ninety games. Nobody knows how they expect to compete against the Cubs. That’s why they play the games. So what will it be? Will it be: Long drive…way back…warning track…wall…you can touch em’ all, Jeff Sazlazar. Huh? Jeff Slalazar? Yup. Jeff Salazar. Reserve outfielder Jeff Salazar. Pinch hitting Jeff Salazar. Bernie Carbo style. Jeff Salazar saved the season. Saved the season back on September 10. Scratched from the lineup because of a sore ankle, Salazar came on to deliver a pinch-hit three-run bomb in the ninth inning to give Arizona a 5-3 win at San Francisco. That pinch-hit three-run bomb solidified the season for the Baby Backs. And it’s contributions like that, from everybody, that make these guys what they are. A T-E-A-M. Nine players on the field functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other. Or might we hear this: That ball is driven way back…outta here! Derrek Lee! 2006 was not a very good year for Lee. Broken wrist. Cubs go 19-40 in his absence. His three-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Leber’s congenital amaurosis, a rare genetic disease resulting in loss of vision. This year’s been a lot better. Batted over .400 for most of the first two months of the season. The heart and power of the Cubs line-up. Late season power surge. If Lee gets going, like he was two seasons ago, there’s no one on the other team that can match him. He has the ability to put this team on his back and carry them to the next round by himself. That being said, I like the D-Backs here.
Yankees Indians: Three of the four highest-payroll teams in the American League will be in the playoffs. The fourth playoff team ranks second-to-last in payroll in the AL. That fourth team is the Indians. Don’t get me wrong. I have no problems with spending. None. But What Mark Shapiro did with this team is nothing short of remarkable. Nothing. What will we hear in this one? Will it be this: Swing and a drive, deep to center, a WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back - GONE! Trot Nixon! Yup. Old friend Trot. Bo may know some things. Bo knows this. What? And Bo knows that. What? But Bo don`t know jack, cause Bo can`t rap. Bo may know this and that, but Trot knows the Yankees. For eight years of his career he played against them nineteen times a season as a member of the Red Sox. The Yankees went 6-0 against the Indians during the regular season. Nixon hit .429 against them. Something to think about. Or will we hear this: Swung on and there it goes! That ball is high! It is far! It is…Gone! An A-Bomb. From A-Broad! A-Broad’s Yankees legacy depends on it. He was the man during the regular season. A rock at third base. A nightmare in the heart of the New York order. But if he does nothing in this post-season, none of it matters. You saw what happened last fall. Last fall, Rodriguez stumbled and bumbled through the division series against Detroit. Stumbled and bumbled and got dropped in the order. I don’t see that happening this year. I don’t see the Yankees winning either.
Red Sox Angels: Saving the best for last. Last year, no soup for us! This year, I couldn’t be happier. But happy doesn’t pay the piper. Happy doesn’t feed the baby. Happy doesn’t walk the dog. The Sox went wire to wire in the division. We need them to go wire to wire in the post season. Anything else is failure. We need to hear: …swing and there it goes…light tower power for Manny Ramirez! We need Manny to be Manny. We know what Big Papi will do. What Big Papi always does. But we need Manny. He is a difference maker. An earth quaker. A pitcher shaker. We need him, and I think we’ll get him. I don’t need to hear this: And the halo shines tonight! Oh my! I don’t need to see Vladdy shine tonight or any other night. He strikes fear in the heart of men. Strikes fear in every part of men. Strikes fear in the Rene Descartes of men. I’m hoping against hope fear strikes out. I’m hoping he is as ####ed up as I hope he is. I’m picking the Sox. Anything else would be blasphemy.
Public Acknowledgements: Field of Dreams, Russ Hodges, Bill White, Joe Buck, Rocky Mountain News, Jeff Kingery, Clockwork Orange, Harry Kalas, Nancy Sinatra, Greg Schulte, Hoosiers, Len Kasper, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Tom Hamilton, Tribe Called Quest, John Sterling, Jerry Trupiano, #### Enberg and Jimmy Piersall
Josh Q. Public:Well you’re a real tough cookie with a long history of breaking little hearts, like the one in me. That’s ok, lets see how you do it. Put up your dukes, let’s get down to it! Hit me with your best shot! Why don’t you hit me with your best shot! Hit me with your best shot! Fire away! -Pat Benatar
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! What? Oh. You thought I forgot. You thought maybe I was scared. Scairt. Blow it out your ear. Blow it out your other ear. I’m not worried. I’m not yeller. Old Yeller. You saw what happened to him. The sky ain’t falling. I ain’t no Chicken Little. No little chicken. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Finger lickin’, finger lickin’ good ya’ll. I was busy. I’m important. I had stuff to do. Mr. Big Stuff, who do you think you are? HR Pufnstuf. H.R. Pufnstuf, who’s your friend when things get rough? H.R. Pufnstuf, can’t do a little because you can’t do enough. The Yankees can’t do enough. Can’t do enough to take this thing. Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back. The Red Sox are taking this back. Taking this back for the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘48. For Johnny Pesky. Do it for Johnny. Hesitated on the relay throw. Not a truer Red Sox was there ever. For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘67. For Jim Lonborg. To dream the impossible dream. To fight the unbeatable foe. A mere two days rest against Big Bob Gibson. For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘75. For Carlton Fisk. There it goes! It’s a long drive…if it stays fair…home run! For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘78. For Yaz. MVP Yaz. Triple Crown Yaz. Sportsman of the Year Yaz. Yaz pops out to Nettles. For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘86. For Big Jim Ed Rice. He deserved this one. Like he deserves to be in the Hall. The most feared hitter for over a decade. So the winning run is at second base, with two outs, three and two to Mookie Wilson. A little roller up along first… behind the bag! It gets through Buckner! Here comes Knight, and the Mets win it! For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘03. For Tim Wakefield. Tim Bake and Wakefield. Guard your grill, knuckle up. I ain’t the type to give up. Put ‘em up, you ain’t tough. Guard your grill, knuckle up! He hits the ball! Way back. Left Field!! Aaron Boone. A walk off home run!! And the Yankees are the American League Champions!! Yes we took it back in ‘04. Took it back real good like. Showed them what’s what. Who’s the boss. Like Chachi in Charge. David Ortiz didn’t do it again, did he? Yes, he did! But that’s not enough. Just making the playoffs is not enough. Too much is never enough. Keep on with the force, don’t stop. Don’t stop ’til you get enough. We haven’t gotten enough. We need more. More to even the score. Storm the beach like the US Marine Corps. Keep stepping on their necks. Show them no mercy. Give them no quarter. No mercy, take it while you can. The Red Sox can take this, and rest assured sports fans, they will! Roll Sox, roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Fred Gipson, Beastie Boys, Jean Knight, Sid and Marty Krofft, Goonies, The Outsiders, Cervantes, #### Stockton, Vin Scully, Naughty By Nature, Gary Thorne, Tim McCarver and Michael Jackson
Josh Q. Public:This is the end. Beautiful friend. This is the end. My only friend, the end. -The Doors
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? Ha ha ha! Did you see it? Huh? Didjya? This is what the Deetroit Tigers did to the Yankees last night:
Red Sox Yankees. Tonight. Tonight’s the night. Stay away from my window. Stay away from my back door too. Disconnect the telephone line. Relax baby and draw that blind. Yup, this is it. Sing it with me ####es. Follow the bouncing ball. Na,na… na, na, na, na… hey, hey, hey… goodbye. Ha ha ha ha! Goodbye Yankees. I know it. You know it. The ghost of George Herman Ruth knows it. The New York Yankees are all done. I guess it’s over, call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No reason to pretend. We knew it had to end some day, this way. Yes we did. Yes we did. We knew the Yankees pitching staff was middling at best. We knew PhenomPhyllis Hughs was merely a rookie. A 2-2, 5.35 ERA rookie. We knew Fat Roger was the savior of nothing. Not steadfast. Not true. Coming to no one’s emotional rescue. We knew Bullwinkle was meat. A mere shell of the man he once was. On this last road trip, the Yankees lost five of seven games to the Angels and Tigers. Lost them by scores of 7-6, 18-9, 9-6, 5-4 and 16-0. Just getting smacked around real good like. Not even giving the big bats a chance. Until the Bombers can win a 2-1 nail biter. A 2-1 and still prevail biter. A 2-1 priority mail biter. Until they can win one of those, fuhgettaboutit. And just so you know. Just so you know, the last time the Yankees won a game when they scored fewer than five runs was July 17. On July 17, they beat the Blue Jays 3-2. They’re in big trouble. Ya got trouble. Right here in New York City! With a capital “T.” And that rhymes with “P.” And that stands for pitching. The Red Sox got pitching. Heaps of pitching. Scads of pitching. Gobs of pitching. Pitching coming out of their eyeballs. Like the man says, you’re only as good as your next starter. Our next starter is D-Nice. Gyromite! So tonight’s the night we’re gonna make it happen. Tonight we’ll put all other things aside. Tonight we’ll step on the Yankees necks. Put them out of their misery. No division. No Wild Card. No nothing. Take your shoes off. Put your feet up. Sit back, relax, and be a Sox watcher. Roll Sox, roll!
Public Acknowledgements: NY Daily News, Casino, Rod Stewart, Steam, Johnny Mathis, Rolling Stones, Music Man, the Pointer Sisters and Raging Bull
Public Spectacle: This is what the Sox will do to the Yankees:
Josh Q. Public:You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell. -Anita Ward
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is. What a relief Jonathan Papelbon is. Best closer in baseball. Wild Thing, you make my heart sing. Made our hearts sing last night. Last night, he pitched a perfect 1 1/3 innings. I know it sounds crazy but it fits perfect. Peter perfect pimped a perfect Peter. Honey dripper, sucker sipper, big dipper, sucker dipper. Drippin’ suckers like it’s goin’ out-a-style. Creatin’ flavors for da Flavor Flav pile. Lampin’ booyee madina style. Papelbon’s been lampin’ medina style. Struck out three. Struck out three for his thirtieth save in thirty-two opportunities. Holy cow! He became the first Red Sox pitcher to have at least thirty saves in two different seasons. Stanley #### didn’t do it. Big Lee Smith didn’t do it. Jeff Reardon didn’t do it. Soup Campbell didn’t do it. Monster #### Radatz didn’t do it. Heathcliff Slocumb certainly didn’t do it. Eck may have won twenty games in a Red Sox uniform, but he never did it. Never got a dinner. Red Buttons style. Papelbon did. He did it back to back. He is the best closer in baseball. Sounded so nice, I said it twice. Mariano may be the anointed one, but folks have been stepping all over his cape lately. Yankees fans are screaming for Joba. Bobby Jenks just saw his record-tying stretch of forty-one straight batters retired come to an end but he plays on a terrible team. Not the same. The games don’t matter. When Trevor Hoffman is done pitching, he’ll be honored in Cooperstown. Hell’s Bells! But Hoff coughed up another save last night. Maybe JJ Putz. Maybe. But has anyone outside of the Pacific Northwest seen this cat pitch? For my money, I’ll take Jonathan Papelbon. I’ll take Pap and his new pitch. His new pitch, the slutter. Get your mind out of the gutter. This pitch is a kick your butter. Half fastball, half slider, all amazing. Papelbon’s been amazing. Throwing his blazing fastball along with the slutter, he’s been nothing short of dominant. Papelbon became just the fourth pitcher in Major League history to save thirty games in his first two full seasons. Mayor Billy Koch did it in his first four years. Kaz Sasaki and Todd Worrell did it in their first three years. Pap’s better. Last night, he took the mound with two outs in the eighth. Took the mound with two outs in the eighth in an 8-6 ballgame. Two outs in the eighth in an 8-6 ballgame and a runner at first. Johnny Gomes up. Slutter. Punchado. End of inning. Papelbon went in for the ninth, fifteen pitches, eleven Ks. Another notch in his belt. And here in the bar, the piano man’s found another nail for my heart. The Red Sox gain another game in the standings and as long as Mr. Papelbon is around to close out baseball games, you can count on a few more. Roll Sox, roll!
PS: Anaheim on a cool summer night. Garrett Anderson ten RBIs. Mike Mussina seven earned runs in 1.2 innings. A-Broad two more dings that did not matter. Theeeeeee Yankees lose…priceless.
Public Acknowledgements: Boston Globe, Throggs, Public Enemy, Squeeze and Trip.
Josh Q. Public:But look around. Here go the sound of the wreckin’ ball. Boom and pound when I shut ‘em down. -Public Enemy
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Another quickie today. From Storrow Drive to the Van Wyckie today. More fun than a pogo stickie today. I gotta get this one out before 1pm. Got a date at 1pm. Can’t be late for 1pm. That’s when the Sox play game one of a double header against the Los Angeles of Anaheim of Orange County Angels. It’s the city I live in, the city of angels. Lonely as I am, together we cry. Maybe Flea’s crying, but I ain’t. I get to see the see the future of the Red Sox. I get to see Clay Buchholz. His future seems very bright. Gotta wear shades bright. Very sparkly. Definitely very sparkly. Very sparkly. I’m sick of hearing about Phyllis Hughs. I’m tired of hearing about Joba Chambermaid. It’s high time we start hearing about our own young stud. Blue moon, now I’m no longer alone. Without a dream in my heart. Without a love of my own. I got a dream in my heart and it goes by the name of Clay Buchholz. Clay Buchholz has an 8-3 record in the minor leagues this season. Clay Buchholz has a 2.15 ERA. The kid is averaging nearly thirteen strikeouts per nine innings. Thirteen. Holy cow! His four seam heater tops out at 98 mph. I want to make you sweat. Sweat till you can’t sweat no more. And if you cry out, I’m gonna push it, push it some, mo-o-ore. Buchholz is gonna push it with his two seamer. His moving two seamer. His grooving two seamer. His something to proving two seamer. And if that weren’t enough, if that weren’t enough, he’s got a knee buckling 12-6 curve that makes folks look downright silly out there. And please, please, please do not sleep on his change. Don’t count sheep on his change. On any given night, Buchholz’s curve or his change is unhittable. Unhittable, I say! Mix all that in with a cold as ice willing to sacrifice demeanor and you got yourself one obscene pitching machine. One O’clock baby! One O’clock. Take your shoes off. Put your feet up. Sit back, relax, and be a Sox watcher. I’ll be watching the Sox. I’ll be watching the future. I’ll be watching Clay Buchholz.
PS: Haven’t been hearing a whole lot over there from the Yankees camp as of late. Crickets. Crickets, I tell you. Nothing like a granny in the first inning to get some peace and quiet around here. Ha ha ha ha! Roll Sox roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Red Hot Chili Peppers, TimBuk 3, Rain man, The Velvet Fog, Scooter, UB40 and Foreigner
Josh Q. Public: Now you can’t catch me, baby you can’t catch me. ‘Cause if you get too close, you know I’m gone like a cool breeze. -Chuck Berry
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! And down the stretch they come! Alydar and Affirmed. Seabiscuit and War Admiral. More like Secretariat and Sham: He’s into the stretch. Secretariat leads this field by 18 lengths, and now Twice a Prince has taken second and My Gallant has moved back to third. They’re in the stretch. Secretariat has opened a 22-length lead! He is going to be the Triple Crown winner! Here comes Secretariat to the wire. An unbelievable, an amazing performance! He hits the finish 25 lengths in front! This one’s not even going to be close. The Red Sox are going to cruise to the finish. Eddie Wilson style. Yankees fans are coming out of the woodwork anyway. All the little Yankees fans that have been hiding under their mother’s covers all season are starting to peep their little heads out. They shouldn’t. They should get back where they belong. Get back, get back. Get back to where you once belonged. Get back Loretta! Get back Yankees fans. Unless you think you can keep this up. Keep up this torrid .731 pace for the final fifty-one. Bloody not likely. But that’s what you’re gonna have to do. All I have to do is drea-ea-ea-ea-eam. Dream, dream, dream. Keep dreaming. The Sox themselves have been on a .600 pace since the All Star Game. And don’t forget, your cute little joke of a schedule playing cute little teams out of the SWAC, Patriot League and the Missouri Valley Conference is over. Since the break, the Yankees have played only one team playing over five hundred. One! That’s it. No more Blue Jays. No more Royals. No more Devil Rays. No more White Sox. Now come the Indians. Now come the Tigers. Now come the Angels. Oh ya, and now come the Red Sox. Now comes the pain. Now comes the embarrassment. Now comes reality. Back to life back to the present time. Back from a fantasy. While Schilling, Boom Boom Beckett and D-Nice are mowing down the Orioles, Devil Rays and White Sox, Bullwinkle, Petite and Fat Roger will be exposed for the frauds they are. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, pitching wins championships. The Yankees ain’t got none. I ain’t got a girl. I ain’t got a son. I ain’t got no kin. I ain’t got no one. Roll Sox, roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Dave Johnson, Chick Anderson, Eddie and the Cruisers, Beatles, Soul II Soul and the Band.
Josh Q. Public: Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer. Well, can you put your hands in your head, oh no! -Supertramp
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! The second half of the baseball season starts today. Round two, I’m down to do, what it takes to make you understand I’m the Candyman and I melt in your mouth, not in your hands. So little Derek Jeter thinks the big bad Bombers have a shot of overtaking the first place Boston Red Sox. Is he serious? I think he’s delirious. Smoking something mysterious. He’s just not thinking clearious. Let’s everybody get this straight, the New York Yankees are not a good baseball team. They’re not. You can fantasize about the good ole’ days. You can fantasize about the team Gene “the Stick” Michaels put together only to watch be destroyed by Brian Cashman. You can reminisce about the 1978 squad. You can hark back to the black and white images of Yankees yore. Good luck to ya. Ever since Pedro, Schilling, Papi and the boys woke up the damn Bambino and drilled him in the ####, things are have been a lot different around here. There’s a new sheriff in town. And I want the rest of you cowboys to know something, there’s a new sheriff in town. And his name is Reggie Hammond. So y’all be cool. Right on. The Yankees are a sub-five hundred team. The Yankees are ten games back. The Yankees are 8-17 vs. the American League East. The Yankees are 6-14 in one run ball games. The Yankees are not very good. They are looking to Hip-Hip Jorge for power numbers. That’s not a reason to be cheerful. There’s a cheerful little earful. Gosh I miss it something fearful. The Yankees are missing some big bats in that line-up. Sheffield. Gone. Giambi. For all intensive purposes, gone. Abreu. An abject disastah. Sure A-Broad is getting it done. But isn’t this more of the same? Getting it done when it doesn’t matter? I’m not talking about individual games. He’s getting it done when it matters there. I’m talking about the season. Getting it done in a season that doesn’t matter. Fat Roger? Mediocre. Petite? Mediocre. His last two games? Six innings, sixteen runs. Bullwinkle? The most mediocre. 4-6 with a 4.62 ERA. Even Vegas has no faith. Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas! Viva, viva Las Vegas! Vegas baby, Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. The Yankees are currently a 7-1 dog to win the AL. The Yankees are currently 15-1 dog to win the whole enchilada. You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time. You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time. Well, you ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine. Ha ha ha. Who are the favorites you ask? When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I’m feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel…so bad. Why the Red Sox of course. Roll Sox, roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Candyman, NY Post, 48 Hours, Ella Fitzgerald, The King twice and Swingers.
Josh Q. Public:I don’t mean to brag. I don’t mean to boast. But I’m intercontinental when I eat French toast. -Beastie Boys
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! They’re turning Japanese. I think they’re turning Japanese. I really think so. The New York Yankees have Hideki Matsui. Oh no, they say he’s got to go. Go go Godzilla, yeah! The New York Yankees have Not OK Igawa. Now, the New York Yankees are looking at a couple of other Japanese import vehicles. Zoom zoom zoom. One you know about. One is Ichiro Suzuki. If Ichiro becomes unattainable, look for the Bombers to go after one of the premier sluggers in Japan. One of the premier hitting buggers in Japan. One of the premiere snug as a bug in a ruggers in Japan. Look for the bombers to go after Kosuke Fukudome. Fukudome currently plays for the Chunichi Dragons but becomes a free agent at the end of this season. You know that means boys and girls, don’t you? Huh? Don’t you? It means no posting fee. Oh yes, wait a minute Mister Postman. Look and see. Oh yeah. If there’s a letter in your bag for me. Kosuke could be in the Yankees’ bag. This guy became the youngest player to ever be chosen for an Olympic baseball team. The 1996 Japanese Olympic team. The Silver Medal 1996 Japanese Olympic team. By 2002, Fukudome established himself as one of the best players in Japan. Simply the best. Better than all the rest. By 2002, Fukudome had already won four Gold Gloves. By 2002, he had already stopped Hideki Matsui’s run for the Triple Crown by taking the batting title. Last year, he batted .351. Last year, he hit thirty-one bombs. Last year he knocked in 104 RBIs. Last year, he won the Central League MVP award. So next year, he could become a New York Yankee.
This foray into Asia is not some passing fad. Not like Bobby Knight in plaid. This is just the launching pad. The Boston Red Sox have formed an alliance with Bobby Valentine’s team. The Chiba Lotte Marines of Japan’s Pacific League. Imagine me and you, I do. I think about you day and night. It’s only right. So happy together. Together, they will share player evaluations and statistical analysis. The Sox have already have tapped into Japanese baseball’s talent pool. The Sox have already signed pitching phenom Daisuke Matsuzaka and All Star Hideki Okajima. Besides sharing scouting reports, the clubs will exchange coaches, training staff and front-office personnel. They will develop baseball in China and other Asian nations. Red Sox general manager, Theo Epstein, said it’s possible Red Sox minor leaguers could go to Japan to play. Yowza! It really is quadruple A ball. Not to be outdone, the Yankees just signed two Chinese ball players. The first from mainland China to ever be signed by a major league club. The boys next door. The mums and dads. Newlyweds and nearly-deads. Have you ever been had in Clubland? Asia, the final frontier. These are the voyages of Major League Baseball. Its mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new bats and new gloves. To boldly go where no team has gone before.
Public Acknowledgements: Vapors, Fan Nation, Associated Press, Blue Oyster Cult, Mazda, Marvelettes, Turtles, Elvis Costello and Star Trek.
josh q. public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you’re reading more than one. Good to the last drop!
place behind the Red Sox. Last place behind the Orioles. Last place behind the Blue Jays. The first time that the Yankees have resided in sole possession of last place this many games in since 1995. Ha ha ha! Poor old George Steinbrenner must be rolling around in his grave right about now. Can you blame him? The Yankees are atrocious. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious! If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious. I don’t care. I don’t care if I sound precocious. It’s true. Like my main Casey Stengel always says, “Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.” Well, Yankees pitchers aren’t pitching and Yankees hitters aren’t hitting. You do the math. We all know about the pitching woes. The well documented pitching woes. We all know about Phil Hughes. On the DL. We all know 
about Ian Kennedy. Akinori Iwamura’s bomb on Kennedy’s fourth pitch of the game last night put the Rays ahead for good. We all know about Kei Igawa. Back down on the farm. We all know about them. It’s the hitting, or lack there of. It’s the lack of hitting that’s sinking this Yankees ship. It’s the lack of hitting that has these Yankees in such trouble. Big trouble. Big trouble in little China. Adventure doesn’t come any bigger! Against Tampa Bay’s four starting pitchers, the Yankees scored two runs in 27 1/3 innings. On this 2-4 road trip, they hit .214 with runners in scoring position. 9-for-42 with zero home runs and a paltry three extra-base hits. Ha ha ha! Where’s A-Broad when you need him? Where’s hip hip 
Jor-ge? There’s no need to fear. Captain Caveman is here. Leadoff hitter Captain Caveman was 1-for-18 in the Tampa Bay series. That’s no way to start your day. Maybe putting on gold lame underwear is. Jason Giambi is hitting .181. Jason Giambi is in a funk. You know what that means. Whenever he is in a prolonged hitting funk, he wears a gold lamé, tiger-stripe 
getting Derek Jeter to bounce into a double play in game three. Like CC Sabathia and Fausto Carmona proving why they may be the best one two punch in baseball. Like the Pride of Bayonne, NJ, Joe Borowski throwing the final strike and the Tribe running onto the field to start the celebration. Celebration. Let’s all celebrate and have a good time. Celebration. We gonna celebrate and have a good time. The Cleveland Indians are celebrating. Suzyn Waldman is not. 
Wang finished 0-2. Mr. Wang finished with a 19.06 ERA. Mr. Wang pitched a combined 5 2/3 innings over his two starts. Hi-deki Mat-sui. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Oh no, they say he’s got to go. Go go Godzilla, yeah! Godzilla ended up going 2-for-11. Godzilla ended up going for no extra base hits. Zero. Zilch. Nada. In the third inning last night, Hideki Matsui came up with a man on. Groundout. In the fifth, he came up with another man on. Pop-up. Go go Godzilla! Jor-ge 
Posada had the season of his life as the Yankees were trying to catch the Sox. Posada hit .133 in the series. Hip-hip Jorge! Fi-rst Ba-se. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. Didn’t matter who played there. It did not help. A-lex Rod-riguez. Clap, clap, clap clap clap. A-Broad. A-Broad did hit .267. But know this, three of those hits were singles with nobody on base. A-Broad was 0-for-5 with four strikeouts with men on base. Mr. April-September. Nobody left this series unscathed. Box seats suck! 
I think it’s safe to say the Yankees era is over. The magic is gone. The party’s over. Guess it’s over, call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No reason to pretend. We knew it had to end some day, this way. See you later Joe. See you later Fat Roger. See you later A-Broad. See you later suckers! Roll Sox roll!
Kinsella. That’s my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true? Yes there is, Archie. Yes there is. The 200 men representing eight cities will create enough magic to make all our dreams true. MLB baseball. MLB Playoff baseball. It’s why we hung around so long. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: There’s a long drive… It’s gonna be, I believe….. The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! WAHOO! Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck, of the left field stands! The Giants win the pennant, and they’re goin’ crazy! They’re goin’ crazy! Heeeey-oh! We hung around so long to hear stuff like: 
Deep to left! Yastrzemski will not get it — it’s a home run! A three-run home run for Bucky Dent and the Yankees now lead by the score of 3-2! Bucky Dent has just hit his fourth home run of the year and look at that Yankees bench out to greet him. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight! What kind of stuff are we gonna hear this year?
Rockies Phillies: September 13. The Rockies leave the City Of Brotherly Love after a two game split. Even Steven. Kissing your sister. Yichhh! So, we meet again? Meet again three weeks and two incredible stories later. The Rockies and the Fighting Phills will attempt to prolong their epic dramas in a best-of-five National League Division Series. So what will we hear? Will we hear: Matt Holliday! That ball is going and it ain’t coming back! Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP! Matt Holliday. The hero of the play-in game. The one for everything. For all the marbles. All the starbles. All the Yougoslavian Dinarbles. All the come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles. Matt Holliday capped his superstar season by 
obliterating twelve years of futility and irrelevancy. Is that what we’ll hear? Or will we hear this: Swing…and a long drive, watch this baby, outta here! Home run. Jimmy Rollins. The real MVP! MVP! MVP! The Mets had a chance to win the World Series last year. Last year is over. I think we are the team to beat in the NL East, finally. Jimmy talked the talk. Jimmy walked the walk. These cleats are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these cleats are gonna walk all over you. I say these cleats walk all over the Rockies.
Diamondbacks Cubs: The Diamondbacks posted the best record in the National League. The Cubs are the team everybody’s pulling for. The Diamondbacks won ninety games. Nobody knows how they expect to compete against the Cubs. That’s why they play the games. So what will it be? Will it be: Long drive…way back…warning track…wall…you can touch em’ all, Jeff Sazlazar. Huh? Jeff Slalazar? Yup. Jeff Salazar. Reserve outfielder Jeff Salazar. Pinch hitting Jeff Salazar. Bernie Carbo style. Jeff Salazar saved the season. Saved the season back on September 10. Scratched from the lineup because of a sore ankle, Salazar came on to deliver a pinch-hit three-run bomb in the ninth inning to give Arizona a 5-3 win at San Francisco. That pinch-hit three-run bomb solidified the season for the Baby Backs. And it’s 
contributions like that, from everybody, that make these guys what they are. A T-E-A-M. Nine players on the field functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other. Or might we hear this: That ball is driven way back…outta here! Derrek Lee! 2006 was not a very good year for Lee. Broken wrist. Cubs go 19-40 in his absence. His three-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Leber’s congenital amaurosis, a rare genetic disease resulting in loss of vision. This year’s been a lot better. Batted over .400 for most of the first two months of the season. The heart and power of the Cubs line-up. Late season power surge. If Lee gets going, like he was two seasons ago, there’s no one on the other team that can match him. He has the ability to put this team on his back and carry them to the next round by himself. That being said, I like the D-Backs here. 
Yankees Indians: Three of the four highest-payroll teams in the American League will be in the playoffs. The fourth playoff team ranks second-to-last in payroll in the AL. That fourth team is the Indians. Don’t get me wrong. I have no problems with spending. None. But What Mark Shapiro did with this team is nothing short of remarkable. Nothing. What will we hear in this one? Will it be this: Swing and a drive, deep to center, a WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back - GONE! Trot Nixon! Yup. Old friend Trot. Bo may know some things. Bo knows this. What? And Bo knows that. What? But Bo don`t know jack, cause Bo can`t rap. Bo may know this and that, but Trot knows the Yankees. For eight years of his career he played against them nineteen times a season as a member of the Red Sox. The Yankees went 6-0 
against the Indians during the regular season. Nixon hit .429 against them. Something to think about. Or will we hear this: Swung on and there it goes! That ball is high! It is far! It is…Gone! An A-Bomb. From A-Broad! A-Broad’s Yankees legacy depends on it. He was the man during the regular season. A rock at third base. A nightmare in the heart of the New York order. But if he does nothing in this post-season, none of it matters. You saw what happened last fall. Last fall, Rodriguez stumbled and bumbled through the division series against Detroit. Stumbled and bumbled and got dropped in the order. I don’t see that happening this year. I don’t see the Yankees winning either.
Red Sox Angels: Saving the best for last. Last year, no soup for us! This year, I couldn’t be happier. But happy doesn’t pay the piper. Happy doesn’t feed the baby. Happy doesn’t walk the dog. The Sox went wire to wire in the division. We need them to go wire to wire in the post season. Anything else is failure. We need to hear: …swing and there it goes…light tower power for Manny Ramirez! We need Manny to be Manny. We know what Big Papi will do. What Big Papi always does. But we need Manny. He is a difference maker. An earth quaker. A pitcher shaker. We need him, and I think we’ll get him. I don’t need to hear 
this: And the halo shines tonight! Oh my! I don’t need to see Vladdy shine tonight or any other night. He strikes fear in the heart of men. Strikes fear in every part of men. Strikes fear in the Rene Descartes of men. I’m hoping against hope fear strikes out. I’m hoping he is as 
Sox was there ever. For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘67. For Jim Lonborg. To dream the impossible dream. To fight the unbeatable foe. A mere two days rest against Big Bob Gibson. For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘75. For Carlton Fisk. There it goes! It’s a long drive…if it stays fair…home run! For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘78. For Yaz. MVP Yaz. Triple Crown Yaz. Sportsman of the Year Yaz. Yaz pops out to Nettles. For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘86. For Big Jim Ed Rice. He deserved this one. Like he deserves to be in the Hall. The most feared hitter for over a decade. So the winning run is at second base, with two outs, three and two to Mookie Wilson. A little roller up along first… behind the bag! It gets through Buckner! Here comes Knight, and the Mets win it! For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘03. For Tim Wakefield. Tim Bake and Wakefield. Guard your grill, knuckle up. I ain’t the type to give up. Put ‘em up, you ain’t tough. Guard your grill, 
merely a rookie. A 2-2, 5.35 ERA rookie. We knew Fat Roger was the savior of nothing. Not steadfast. Not true. Coming to no one’s emotional rescue. We knew Bullwinkle was meat. A mere shell of the man he once was. On this last road trip, the Yankees lost five of seven games to the Angels and Tigers. Lost them by scores of 7-6, 18-9, 9-6, 5-4 and 16-0. Just getting smacked around real good like. Not even giving the big bats a chance. Until the Bombers can win a 2-1 nail biter. A 2-1 and still prevail biter. A 2-1 priority mail biter. Until they can win one of those, fuhgettaboutit. And just so you know. Just so you know, the last time the Yankees won a game when they scored fewer than five runs was July 17. On July 17, they beat the Blue Jays 3-2. They’re in big trouble. Ya got trouble. Right here in New York City! With a capital “T.” And that 
rhymes with “P.” And that stands for pitching. The Red Sox got pitching. Heaps of pitching. Scads of pitching. Gobs of pitching. Pitching coming out of their eyeballs. Like the man says, you’re only as good as your next starter. Our next starter is D-Nice. Gyromite! So tonight’s the night we’re gonna make it happen. Tonight we’ll put all other things aside. Tonight we’ll step on the Yankees necks. Put them out of their misery. No division. No Wild Card. No nothing. Take your shoes off. Put your feet up. Sit back, relax, and be a Sox watcher. Roll Sox, roll!
became the first Red Sox pitcher to have at least thirty saves in two different seasons. Stanley 
coughed up another save last night. Maybe JJ Putz. Maybe. But has anyone outside of the Pacific Northwest seen this cat pitch? For my money, I’ll take Jonathan Papelbon. I’ll take Pap and his new pitch. His new pitch, the slutter. Get your mind out of the gutter. This pitch is a kick your butter. Half fastball, half slider, all amazing. Papelbon’s been amazing. Throwing his blazing fastball along with the slutter, he’s been nothing short of dominant. Papelbon became just the fourth pitcher in Major League history to save thirty games in his first two full seasons. Mayor Billy Koch did it in his first four years. Kaz Sasaki and Todd Worrell did it in their first three years. Pap’s 
better. Last night, he took the mound with two outs in the eighth. Took the mound with two outs in the eighth in an 8-6 ballgame. Two outs in the eighth in an 8-6 ballgame and a runner at first. Johnny Gomes up. Slutter. Punchado. End of inning. Papelbon went in for the ninth, fifteen pitches, eleven Ks. Another notch in his belt. And here in the bar, the piano man’s found another nail for my heart. The Red Sox gain another game in the standings and as long as Mr. Papelbon is around to close out baseball games, you can count on a few more. Roll Sox, roll!
have played only one team playing over five hundred. One! That’s it. No more Blue Jays. No more Royals. No more Devil Rays. No more White Sox. Now come the Indians. Now come the Tigers. Now come the Angels. Oh ya, and now come the Red Sox. Now comes the pain. Now comes the embarrassment. Now comes reality. Back to life back to the present time. Back from a fantasy. While Schilling, Boom Boom Beckett and D-Nice are mowing down the Orioles, Devil Rays and White Sox, Bullwinkle, Petite and Fat Roger will be exposed for the frauds they are. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, pitching wins championships. The Yankees ain’t got none. I ain’t got a girl. I ain’t got a son. I ain’t got no kin. I ain’t got no one. Roll Sox, roll!
most mediocre. 4-6 with a 4.62 ERA. Even Vegas has no faith. Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas! Viva, viva Las Vegas! Vegas baby, Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. The Yankees are currently a 7-1 dog to win the AL. The Yankees are currently 15-1 dog to win the whole enchilada. You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time. You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time. Well, you ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine. Ha ha ha. Who are the favorites you ask? When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I’m feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel…so bad. Why the Red Sox of course. Roll Sox, roll! 
after Kosuke Fukudome. Fukudome currently plays for the Chunichi Dragons but becomes a free agent at the end of this season. You know that means boys and girls, don’t you? Huh? Don’t you? It means no posting fee. Oh yes, wait a minute Mister Postman. Look and see. Oh yeah. If there’s a letter in your bag for me. Kosuke could be in the Yankees’ bag. This guy became the youngest player to ever be chosen for an Olympic baseball team. The 1996 Japanese Olympic team. The Silver Medal 1996 Japanese Olympic team. By 2002, Fukudome established himself as one of the best players in Japan. Simply the best. Better than all the rest. By 2002, Fukudome had already won 
Besides sharing scouting reports, the clubs will exchange coaches, training staff and front-office personnel. They will develop baseball in China and other Asian nations. Red Sox general manager, Theo Epstein, said it’s possible Red Sox minor leaguers could go to Japan to play. Yowza! It really is quadruple A ball. Not to be outdone, the Yankees just signed two Chinese ball players. The first from mainland China to ever be signed by a major league club. The boys next door. The mums and dads. Newlyweds and nearly-deads. Have you ever been had in Clubland? Asia, the final frontier. These are the voyages of Major League Baseball. Its mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new bats and new gloves. To boldly go where no team has gone before.
