Josh Q. Public: I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. -Skee-Lo
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! I know, I know, the Purple Eagles just played their way in. How can I be writing this? What about the brackets? Are you insane? Insane in the membrane. Plenty insane, got no brain? Blame March Madness. Yup, they started it. Blame Dickie V. Blame Andy Katz. Blame Selection Sunday. Blame Bill Raftery. Blame Mike Patrick. Blame Jay Bilas. Blame ESPN. Blame CBS. Blame all those guys. Yo, I don’t hang out with those guys, man I ain’t got nothing to do with those dudes. Man, I saw your female with them too, what’s up with her? I hear that she’s been giving that stuff out to all them graffiti guys. If it weren’t for those guys, I never would have heard of Tajuan Porter. The Oregon Ducks’ Tajuan Porter. I wouldn’t know about his colossal game against Portland State. I wouldn’t know he scored thirty-eight points, including ten for twelve from three-point range against the Vikings. I wouldn’t know his ten three-point field goals shattered the Oregon record. But most importantly, I wouldn’t know he was five foot six. And you know that five foot six shizznit just set off all sorts of red flags. Red balloons. Ninety-nine red balloons. Panic bells, it’s red alert. There’s something here from somewhere else. It got my one, two, three, four, five senses working overtime. XTC style. I got to thinking. Got to drinking. Got to thinking, got drinking and came up with this. Little giants. Little big men. My favorite little guys in sports.
Freddy Patek: Little Freddie. The Flea. Moochie. I remember him as Royal. Played for the Pirates. Played for the Angels. I picture him those baby blues. Had a glove like Crazy Glue. Catchy as the Asian flu. Patek was a three-time All-Star. Patek led the league in triples. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Patek led the league in stolen bases. He became the second shortstop, after Mr. Baseball himself, to hit three home runs in a single game. Whitey Herzog called Freddy the best artificial turf shortstop he ever managed. Ranked him even higher than the Wizard of Oz. Wow! Better than Ozzie Smith! Now that’s saying something. That’s saying a lot. That’s saying a mouthful. Freddy had an arm. A big arm. A giant arm. Freddy could throw across the diamond from the hole at a velocity of around 95 mph. Yowza! I’ll forever remember Patek making his famous, often imitated, never duplicated, patented, bare-handed double plays. Talent, pure unadulterated talent.
New England Patriot Running Back, Mini Mac Herron: 5-51/2. But he packed 150 pounds of muscle and twenty pounds of sideburns into that frame. Because of his height, he wasn’t recruited heavily. Instead, he played for the Hutchinson (Kan.) Junior College Blue Dragons. There, he won the national juco 100-yard dash title. Fast. Lightning fast. A sonic blast. Unsurpassed. Then, he began to come into his own at Kansas State. Mama, I’m a big boy now. He rushed for 506 yards is junior year while topping the Big Eight in receiving with fifty-two catches. Mini Mac was the nation’s second leading college scorer behind Oklahoma’s and theDetroit Lions’ Steve Owens. Mini Mac got drafted by the Falcons. Norm Van Brocklin hated him. Two snaps in a circle. Toiled in Canada. While playing for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, he won the Eddie James Memorial Trophy for being the leading rusher in the CFL’s West Division. Then the Patriots found him. In two seasons Herron became one of the country’s best all around football players. He broke Gale Sayers’ total offense record. You break a Gale Sayers single season record, you’re playing some football. He’s wasn’t just the best of the little men, he was the best all around player in the game. In a sport of giants, Mack Herron has held his ground. Unfortunately, Mac found drugs. The running gag was “Mini Mac Heroin.” Truly a shame.
Nate Archibald: How can a guy named Tiny not be in this. Penetration. Best in the Nation. Taking over the entire National Basketball Association. Taking it by storm. Tiny was quick. Tiny could go to the hole. Tiny could pass. Tiny could shoot. Triple threat. Triple Trouble. Mesmerizing. Tantalizing. Captivating. Devastating. Archibald led the NBA in scoring and assists in the same season. Yup both. The first and only player ever to win the titles in both categories in the same year. Get the papers, get the papers. The original playground king. Rucker Park. Before the Goat. Before the Helicopter. Before Skip to My Loo. Before Swee’ Pea. Before the Destroyer. Before the Grim Reaper. Before all of them. Before all of them, there was Tiny. DeWitt Clinton. UTEP. Cincinnati Royals. Boston Celtics. Championship. Hall of Fame.
Martin St. Louis: I know. You wanted the Pocket Rocket. You wanted Henri Richard. I never saw him play. I’ve seen St. Louis play. I saw him play for the University of Vermont Catamounts where he was an NCAA all-star. I saw him play for the Tampa Bay Lightning. I saw him score an overtime goal in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Finals. I saw that goal help the Lightning beat the Calgary Flames for the Cup. The Stanley Cup. The Holy Grail. Lord Stanley’s Mug. I saw him win the Hart Memorial Trophy as the MVP. MVP! MVP! MVP! I saw him win the Lester B. Pearson Award as league MVP voted by his peers. I saw him become became the first player since Wayne Gretzky, only the eighth in NHL history, to win the Art Ross Trophy, the Stanley Cup, and the Hart Memorial Trophy all in one season. No one was interested in St. Louis on draft day. No one was interested because he was listed at 5-9 and 185 pounds, but is more likely closer to 5-7 and 175. Think they’re interested in him now?
Diego Maradona: To millions of crazed, hooligan soccer fans all around this nutty world of ours, Diego Maradona is considered one the greatest players of all time. Now, soccer doesn’t usually make me rhyme. But this cat was so sublime. So sublime, that I have nothin’ but love for this guy. I know he has lots a jewels and stuff. Backyards with swimming pools, bar with stools and stuff. But, lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that. I cannot think of any other soccer player who dominated the game like this cat done did. He single handedly made Argentina champions in 1986. He single handedly tookItalian Club Napoli to the top of the Eye-talian football and European Football leagues. I never really got to see Pele, but this little fella was something else.
Honorable Mentions: Spud Webb, Joe Morris, The Denver Broncos O-line, Earl Boykins, Doug Flutie-Midget Moses, Mugsy Bogues, Henri Richard, Brian Gionta, Willie Pepp, Steve Smith, Jamie Carroll, David Eckstien, Greg Jennings, Troy Brown, The Answer
josh q. public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you’re reading more than one. Good to the last drop!
ESPN. Blame CBS. Blame all those guys. Yo, I don’t hang out with those guys, man I ain’t got nothing to do with those dudes. Man, I saw your female with them too, what’s up with her? I hear that she’s been giving that stuff out to all them graffiti guys. If it weren’t for those guys, I never would have heard of Tajuan Porter. The Oregon Ducks’ Tajuan Porter. I wouldn’t know about his colossal game against Portland State. I wouldn’t know he scored thirty-eight points, including ten for twelve from three-point range against the Vikings. I wouldn’t know his ten three-point field goals 
shattered the Oregon record. But most importantly, I wouldn’t know he was five foot six. And you know that five foot six shizznit just set off all sorts of red flags. Red balloons. Ninety-nine red balloons. Panic bells, it’s red alert. There’s something here from somewhere else. It got my one, two, three, four, five senses working overtime. XTC style. I got to thinking. Got to drinking. Got to thinking, got drinking and came up with this. Little giants. Little big men. My favorite little guys in sports.
Freddy Patek: Little Freddie. The Flea. Moochie. I remember him as Royal. Played for the Pirates. Played for the Angels. I picture him those baby blues. Had a glove like Crazy Glue. Catchy as the Asian flu. Patek was a three-time All-Star. Patek led the league in triples. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Patek led the league in stolen bases. He became the second shortstop, after Mr. Baseball himself, to hit three home runs in a single game. Whitey Herzog called Freddy the best artificial turf shortstop he ever managed. Ranked him even higher than the Wizard of Oz. Wow! Better than Ozzie 
Smith! Now that’s saying something. That’s saying a lot. That’s saying a mouthful. Freddy had an arm. A big arm. A giant arm. Freddy could throw across the diamond from the hole at a velocity of around 95 mph. Yowza! I’ll forever remember Patek making his famous, often imitated, never duplicated, patented, bare-handed double plays. Talent, pure unadulterated talent. 
New England Patriot Running Back, Mini Mac Herron: 5-51/2. But he packed 150 pounds of muscle and twenty pounds of sideburns into that frame. Because of his height, he wasn’t recruited heavily. Instead, he played for the Hutchinson (Kan.) Junior College Blue Dragons. There, he won the national juco 100-yard dash title. Fast. Lightning fast. A sonic blast. Unsurpassed. Then, he began to come into his own at Kansas State. Mama, I’m a big boy now. He rushed for 506 yards is junior year while topping the Big Eight in
receiving with fifty-two catches. Mini Mac was the nation’s second leading college scorer behind Oklahoma’s and the Detroit Lions’ Steve Owens. Mini Mac got drafted by the Falcons. Norm Van Brocklin hated him. Two snaps in a circle. Toiled in Canada. While playing for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, he won the Eddie James Memorial Trophy for being the leading rusher in the CFL’s West Division. Then the Patriots found him. In two seasons 
Herron became one of the country’s best all around football players. He broke Gale Sayers’ total offense record. You break a Gale Sayers single season record, you’re playing some football. He’s wasn’t just the best of the little men, he was the best all around player in the game. In a sport of giants, Mack Herron has held his ground. Unfortunately, Mac found drugs. The running gag was “Mini Mac Heroin.” Truly a shame.
in this. Penetration. Best in the Nation. Taking over the entire National Basketball Association. Taking it by storm. Tiny was quick. Tiny could go to the hole. Tiny could pass. Tiny could shoot. Triple threat. Triple Trouble. Mesmerizing. Tantalizing. Captivating. Devastating. Archibald led the NBA in scoring and assists in the same season. Yup both. The first and only player ever to win the titles in both categories in the 
same year. Get the papers, get the papers. The original playground king. Rucker Park. Before the Goat. Before the Helicopter. Before Skip to My Loo. Before Swee’ Pea. Before the Destroyer. Before the Grim Reaper. Before all of them. Before all of them, there was Tiny. DeWitt Clinton. UTEP. Cincinnati Royals. Boston Celtics. Championship. Hall of Fame.
Richard. I never saw him play. I’ve seen St. Louis play. I saw him play for the University of Vermont Catamounts where he was an NCAA all-star. I saw him play for the Tampa Bay Lightning. I saw him score an overtime goal in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Finals. I saw that goal help the Lightning beat the Calgary Flames for the Cup. The Stanley Cup. The Holy Grail. Lord Stanley’s Mug. I saw him win the Hart Memorial Trophy as the MVP. MVP! MVP! MVP! I saw him win the Lester B. Pearson Award as league MVP voted by his peers. I saw him become became the first player since Wayne Gretzky, only the eighth in NHL history, to win the Art Ross Trophy, the Stanley Cup, and the Hart Memorial Trophy all in one season. No one was interested in St. Louis on draft day. No one was interested because he was listed at 5-9 and 185 pounds, but is more likely closer to 5-7 and 175. Think they’re interested in him now? 
Diego Maradona: To millions of crazed, hooligan soccer fans all around this nutty world of ours, Diego Maradona is considered one the greatest players of all time. Now, soccer doesn’t usually make me rhyme. But this cat was so sublime. So sublime, that I have nothin’ but love for this guy. I know he has lots a jewels and stuff. Backyards with swimming pools, bar with stools and stuff. But, lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that. I cannot think of any other soccer player who dominated the game like this cat done did. He single handedly made Argentina champions in 1986. He single handedly took Italian Club Napoli to the top of the Eye-talian football and European Football leagues. I never really got to see Pele, but this little fella was something else.
