Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Then leaf subsides to leaf.  So Eden sank to grief.  So dawn goes down to day.  Nothing gold can stay.  -Robert Frost

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  First thing’s first.  Let’s get this straight.  I love the Big Aristotle.  Shaq Daddy.  Superman.  Shaq Diesel.  Wilt Chamberneezy.  Shaq Fu.  The Big Baryshnikov.  The Showman of the Big Men.  Dr. Shaq.  The Real Deal.  I love Shaquille O’Neal.  I love him, but it’s over.  Havlicek steals it!  Over to Sam Jones!  Havlicek stole the ball! It’s over!  It’s all over!  O’Neal will undergo an MRI to determine if the severity of his lingering hip injury has changed.  Whatever the results, it’s time for the big fella to hang up those size twenty-threes.  For a generation, Shaquille O’Neal has been the best center in basketball.  One of the most dominant big men in history.  Most bombinant big man in history.  A beast in the low post.  Having a feast in the low post.  The high priest in the low post.  However, the Shaquille O’Neal of today is not the same Shaq of yesterday.  Yesterday.  All my troubles seemed so far away.  Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.  Oh, I believe in yesterday. The Shaquille O’Neal of today is not the same Shaq that ripped down rims.  The Shaquille O’Neal of today is not the same Shaq that tore down backboards.  The Shaquille O’Neal of today is not the same Shaq that led the Los Angeles Lakers to three championships.  The Shaquille O’Neal of today is not even the same Shaq that led Miami to another one.  Maybe I’m selfish.  Selfish like a shellfish.  But I want to see Shaq Daddy go out in a blaze of glory.  My my, hey hey.  It’s better to burn out than to fade away.  My my, hey hey.  I want to remember Shaq as the three time NBA Finals MVP.  I want to remember Shaq as the NBA scoring champ.  I want to remember Shaq as coming up just one vote short of becoming the first unanimous MVP in the NBA.  I want to remember that drop step.  The Black Tornado.  I want to remember that little righty hook.  I don’t want to see Half-a-Shaq.  I don’t want to see Guy LaFleur toiling for the Nordiques and Rangers.  I don’t want to see Michael with the Wizards.  Say Hey with the Mets.   Hakeem Olajuwan in a Toronto Raptors uniform.  I understand why sports stars even twenty years ago stayed in the game too long.  Salaries weren’t anywhere near where they are today. Shaq has duckets.  Buckets of duckets.  Get out now Shaq.  Get out while you still can.  Get out while the getting’s good.  You will be missed, and that’s a good thing.

Public Acknowledgements:  Johnny Most, Beatles and Neil Young

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Suntanned bodies and waves of sunshine.  The Florida girls and a beautiful coastline.  With warmed up weather, let’s get together and do it again.  -Beach Boys

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  South Beach bringin’ the Heat, unh.  Haha, can y’all feel that?  Can y’all feel that?  #### it out, unh!  What time is it?  You know what time it is.  Playoff basketball time.  And when I say playoff basketball, you know what I’m talking about, boyeeee!  I love this game!  I love the Heat.  The Miami Heat.  Bouncin’ in the club where the Heat is on.  All night on the beach, till the break of dawn.  Welcome to Miami.  Buenvenidos a Miami.  I know I’ve been Chris Boshing you with the Raptors.  I know I’ve been jinglin’ janglin’ you with the Spurs.  I know.  I also know when push comes to shove, I’m feeling the Heat.  It’s like a Heatwave.  A Miami Heatwave.  Burning in my heart.  Sure things were touch and go there during the regular season.  Sure they lost the opener by forty-two.  Sure they lost Shaq Daddy and Flash for a combined seventy-one games.  Sure they dipped below even Steven twice.  But that was the regular season.  You can pack up the regular season in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile.  And I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while.  How can’t the Heat be smiling?  They got that four ringed circus, the Big Baryshnikov.  The greatest show on earth.  Shaquille O’Neal.  Is that the cat you wanna be facing in the post season?  Is that the cat you wanna give a reason?  Is that the cat you wanna be displeasin’?  Shaq Fu is still the most feared big man in the game.  You can Big Fundamental me.  You can Disco Dirk me.  You can Big Ben Wallace me.  Heck, you can even Amare Stoudamire me.  Shaq Daddy is the biggest Big Daddy of them all.  The Mac Daddy will make you: Jump!  Jump!  The Daddy Mac will make you Jump!  Jump!  Made folks jump when Flash was out.  Put the Heat on his back when Flash was out.  Put them on his back and took the Southeast title when Flash was out.  And, just so you know, Miami is the only team to ever win the Southeast since the NBA split into new divisions.  It’s their seventh overall division championship.  More than any other team in all of the NBA since 1996.  And, just so you know, Flash ain’t out no more.  Flash.  Ahh ahh, saviour of the universe.  Flash.  Ahh ahh.  He’ll save everyone of us.  Flash.  Ahh ahh, he’s a miracle.  Flash.  Ahh ahh, king of the impossible.  Dwyane Wade is back.  He make look a little a rusty now.  May look a little dusty now.  May look a little crusty now.  But he’s no Herschel Pinkus Yerucham Krustofski.  Nope, no clown he.  Flash: “‘I just know I’ll get better.”  I believe him.  Like my main man, the Boss, always says:  “At the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe.”  In Flash we trust.  You saw him last year.  Sportsman of the Year last year.  More importantly, NBA Finals MVP last year.  Why wouldn’t I trust him.  I know it.  You know it.  Mean Dovine knows it.  He’s the best damn guard there is.  Not for nothing.  You saw that dunk, right?  The dunk with the funk.  When D-Wade split the middle on them punks.  With authority!  Ya, thought so.  Toine’s finding his comfort zone.  Getting giddy in the zone.  Shimmy shimmy shaking in the zone.  He shakes it to the left.  He shake it to the right.  He does the hippy shake shake with all of his might.  He’s got the hippy hippy shakes.  Yeah!  So, say what you want.  I’m taking the Heat.  I’m taking the Heat to repeat.  To repeat the treat.  They can’t be beat.  Party in the city where the heat is on.  All night on the beach till the break of dawn.  Welcome to Miami.  Buenvenidos a Miami.

Public Acknowledgements:  The Beach Boys, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Martha and the Vandellas, The Miami Herald, The Florida Sun Sentinel, Spike Jones, Beastie Boys, Kriss Kross, Queen, The Simpsons, Bruce Springsteen, Sideline View, Marv Alberts, Craig Kilborn and the Beatles.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Feel the heat burning you up, ready or not.  Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on.  Some feel the heat and decide that they can’t go on.  -Power Station

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go, Daddy-O!  Shaq Daddy-O.  All right.  I’ll ask the obligatory, “How you doin’ in your brackets?”  Truth is, I don’t care.  Truth is, there’s something else going on out there.  Something else, mon fraire.  Something’s got me amazed.  Don’t know what to do.  My head’s in a haze.  It’s like a heatwave.  A Miami Heatwave.  A Shaquille O’Neal Heatwave.  While you were watching your Dookies get wooped up on by their VCU Rams.  While you were watching the Gigantic-O get more colossal with every touch.  While you were watching all that, the Miami Heat were doing a little dancing of their own.  I could dance with you ’til the cows come home.  On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows ’til you came home.  Rufus T. Firefly style.  Dancin’ on the heads of the New Jersey Nets up at the swamp.  Wally Gator is a swinging alligator in the swamp.  He’s the greatest percolator when he really starts to romp.  There has never been a greater operator in the swamp.  See ya later, Wally Gator.  See ya later all y’all Gators.  The Heat are woopin’ up on everbody.  The Heat have just wooped up on eight straight.  The Heat have just wooped up on eight straight without the Flash.  The Heat wooped up on sixteen of their last twenty.  The Heat wooped up on nine of their last eleven without the Flash.  Take that all you Kobe apologists.  The Big Aristotle.  The Big Baryshnikov.  The Big Stock Exchange.  Putting up the numbers baby!  He’s been putting up numbers.  Big numbers.  During this eight game run, Shaq has averaged twenty-one big points.  Shaq has grabbed ten big boards.  Twice he’s had outbursts of over thirty big points.  Six times, he’s had outbursts of over nine big boards.  The Diesel has brought his team to a half game back in the Southeast.  As great as Shaq has been playing, he hasn’t been doing it alone.  Um, that right, Kemosabe.   Hi yo Silver, away!  He’s has help.  Word to your mother.  Ice ice baby, too cold, too cold.  Since Flash dislocated his left shoulder, White Chocolate has dished out forty-four dimes.  Since Flash dislocated his left shoulder, White Chocolate has committed just 11 turnovers   Since Flash dislocated his left shoulder, White Chocolate has helped the Medula Obligata in the scoring column.  Williams has done his part with a twenty point performance against Minnesota and a twenty-three point effort in Washington that started this eight game nonsense.  Hibachi.  And believe it or not, White Chocolate has been playing defense.  Tenacious defense.  Not for nothing, the Heat have gone fourteen and four since Eddie Jones climbed aboard back in early February.  Antoine Walker has been making shimmy shimmy shaking, long bombing, game winning threes.  Udanis Haslem has been playing solid, solid basketball.  Solid Gold.  Solid Gold Dancers.  Mmmmmm.  Solid Gold Dancers.  Flash and Kapano should be back any day now.  So while your tending to your brackets.  While you’re embarrassingly crushing on Nash and Disco Dirk.  While you’re doing all that, Shaq and Miami’s Heating up for another Championship.   East Coast, baby!  East Coast!  Tim Dog style.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  The heat comin thick down from Sao Paulo.  Bankin’ New York, shakin’ up the Apollo.  -Black Eyed Peas

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  So here we are.  He we are at the All-Star break.  Here we are at the All-Star break and the Miami Heat  are in the midst of seven out of eight game run.  Gorillas in the Myst.  Like Martha and the Vandellas always say:  “It’s like a heat wave, burning in my heart.  It’s like a heat wave.  I can’t keep from crying, tearing me apart.”   With its seventh victory in eight games, the Heat made it to the All-Star break at .500.  Even.  Even Steven.  Giving Miami fans something to believe in.  The Heat completed the return to. 500 with a sound 104-85 thumping of the Portland Trailblazers.  Fresh off of an impressive 100-85 bumping of the San Antonio Spurs.  You can Dallas Maverick me all you want.  You can talk about the Suns from here to Vermont.   You can say you like the Pistons but I am here to taunt.  I like the NBA’s reigning champs.  I like high flying tantalizing, mesmerizing, captivating, devastating Dwayne Wade.  I like defense playing, fish filleting, every daying Eddie Jones.  I like glass bashing, party crashing, hot flashing Jason Kapono.  I like fourth quarter, team supporter, bricks and mortar James Posey.  And I like Shaq Daddy.  Knock ‘em out the box Shaq.  Knock ‘em out.  Shaq Daddy, occupying attention and softening the defense in the box.  Wylie like a fox.  Getting his share of blocks.  Five blocks last night.  He may not be the Diesel of yore, but as my main man Hubie Brown said:  “Let’s say he gets back to 75 percent, all he has to do is just stand on the block, he causes your defense so much trouble.”  A lot of trouble.  Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn, and caldron bubble.  Enough trouble to win the East.  With Pat Riley and White Chocolate coming back after the break, enough trouble to win the whole sha####.  The Miami Heat, repeating their way to the top of the charts.  The Miami Heat, repeating their way back into our hearts.  

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

PS:  BC/Duke tonight.  Big game for the Eagles.

Josh Q. Public:  The preservation of the means of knowledge among the lowest ranks is of more importance to the Public than all the property of the rich men in the country.  -John Adams

Public Knowledge: 

1.  So you weren’t impressed with the Big Aristotle’s comeback performance.  The fourteen minutes, five points and five boards weren’t enough for ya?  You want more.  Well, tonight’s the night.  It’s gonna be all right.  The Heat face the Eddy Curryless Knicks.  I think maybe, just maybe, Shaq will put up some numbers.

2.  Guess who’s taking the hill again today.  Guess who’s making a triumphant comeback again today.  That’s right, it’s none other than Carl Pavano.  Last seen, Mr. Pavano was smashing up his Porsche and his ribs.  Hasn’t thrown in the bigs since June of ‘05.  Show me what you got little mama. Show me what you got.  Inquiring minds want to know.

3.  Pau Gasol to the Baby Bulls?  Perhaps.  Paxson says he’s interested.  They’ve needed a body in the middle who can score ever since they traded away fat Eddy Curry.  But for who?  Madison Square Gordon and Luol Deng.  Not bloody likely.  We’ll be keeping an eye on this one.

4.  Trouble in Cleveland?  The Cavs are 24-18.  All well and good.  But they’ve lost six out of their last ten.  Bye-bye ####?  Dwane Casey style?  Maybe.  Whenever high hopes fail to come to fruition, it’s the coach who usually suffers.  Regardless of who misses big free throws.

5.  What happened?  They used to be the most swinging alligators in the swamp.  They used to be the greatest percolators when they really started to romp.  Wally Gator style.  Now?  Not so much.  Seven times this season, the Nets have led by at least ten points and lost. Monday they were up twenty.  Wednesday, they were up eleven with four minutes left.  This team could be 27-15.  Instead, they’re 20-22.  Good thing they’re in the Hot Lantic.  Not for nothing, Cuttino Mobley’s 3-pointer with 0.6 seconds remaining gave the Clippers a 102-101 victory over New Jersey.  It was the Nets’ third consecutive one-point loss, equaling the longest streak in NBA history. 

6.  Red Sox finalize deal on JD Drew.  About time.  Coconut Crisp, Julio Lugo, Papi, Manny, JD Drew.  That’s a pretty daggone good line-up.  Gy-Ro-Mite!, Schilling, Pap, Boom Boom Beckett, Wakefield.  That’s a pretty daggone good staff.  You listen to me brother, saddle your ponies you bet!  Bring it ####es!  Listen to me now, or listen to me later:  Fear the Red Sox!

7.  Dewey beats Truman.  Vee Dot Carter:  “I’m thrilled. It’s always just a great feeling to be selected as an All-Star as a starter.”  Hey dum-dum, Hibachi’s starting.

8.  Does it ever stop?  Tractor Traylor. Remember him?  Broke a backboard while at Michigan.  Broke his arm while out with Mateen Cleaves.  Well, he broke something else.  The law.  His Largeness just pleaded guilty yesterday.   Pleaded guilty yesterday to preparing a false tax return after hiding assets for a convicted drug dealer.  I’ll never get it.

9.  Start me up!  How is Canadian Idol Steve Nash not an All-Star starter.  Tracy McGrady?  Really?  I love T-Mac as much as the next guy, but c’mon.  Stupid.

10.  The Nugget trade no one is talking about.  Earl Boykins for Steve Blake.  The Nuggets have won five straight since attaining Blake.  He has started at the point in all five of those games.  Coinky dinky?  We think not.  Blake pushes it.  Pushes it real good.  Hits the three.  Protects the rock.  The Nuggets are the team no one wants to see come playoff time.   

11.  Quote of the day.  Gilbert Arenas:  “He’d like to see what I’m going to do against Duke?  I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I’ll give up one NBA season to play against Duke.  One college game that’s five fouls, right? … 40-minute game at Duke, they got soft rims I’d probably score 84 or 85. I wouldn’t pass the ball. I wouldn’t even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person.”   And that’s different from now, how exactly?

12.  Baby boomers.  Four of the five players selected for the Eastern Conference All-Star Team are 25 years old or younger: Agent Zero and Flash are both 25; Chris Bosh and King James are both 22.  In the past 50 years there has been only one NBA All-Star Game in which four (or more) starters from one conference were no older than 25. The 2002 West team had four: The Big Ticket, Little Stevie Franchise, The Big Fundamental and The Mamba.

13.  Money makin’.  Money, money makin’.  Dallas Maverick super disco breakin’.  Disco Dirk.  Nowitzki had 11 rebounds, marking his seventh straight game with at least 20 points and 10 rebounds. He also had a seven-game streak earlier this season.  No other NBA player has had even one streak of five or more consecutive games with 20 or more points and 10 or more rebounds this season.  MVP?

14.  Multiple published reports state that Kenny Anderson will be named quarterbacks coach of the Steelers.  Anderson played all 16 of his NFL seasons with the Bengals (1971-1986) and he started 23 career games against Pittsburgh, the most for any NFL quarterback vs. the Steelers over the last 50 years.  I always liked that cat. Remember 1981?  Huh?  Do ya?  Sherman, set the way back machine.  1981.  Anderson had completed 62.6% of his passes for 3,754 yards and 29 touchdowns, with only 10 interceptions leading the NFL with a career-high 98.4 Passer Rating.  Associated Press and Professional Football Writers of America NFL Most Valuable Player Awards and the NFL Comeback Player of the Year Award.  Freezer Bowl to the Super Bowl.  The Bengals lost Super Bowl XVI to the 49ers, but Anderson wasn’t bad.  25 of 34 passes for 300 yards.  Two touchdowns.  Another one on the ground.   At the time, his 25 completions and 73.5% completion percentage were both Super Bowl records.  Kenny Anderson ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Anderson.

15.  Oh, and for the love of god, can someone please tell me how to my avatar up here.  It's driving me nuts!

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Don’t call it a comeback.  I been here for years.  Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear.  -LL Cool J

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Look who's back, back again.  Shaq is back, tell a friend.  Just when you thought it was safe to go outside again.  Just when you thought it was safe, here he comes.  Here comes the King.  Here comes the big number one.  Shaquille O’Neal is here, he’s second to none.  When you say Shaq, you’ve said it all.  When you say Shaq, you’ve said it all.  Careful.  Careful out there.  Careful everybody.  I know.  Out of sight, out of mind.  The Big Aristotle was out of sight.  The Big Aristotle was out of mind.  The Miami Heat were out of sight.  The Miami Heat were out of mind.  Well, he’s back.  He’s back and he’s still outta sight.  Outta sight, Daddy-O.  Outta sight, Shaq Daddy-O.   Can you dig it?  Sure he played limited minutes last night.  Sure the Heat still lost to the Pacers last night.  But the shape of the NBA changed last night.

The Big Baryshnikov returned last night from a 35-game absence.  With 4:49 left in the first quarter O’Neal returned and joined Dwyane Wade, Jason Williams and Udonis Haslem.  It was the first time that unit has been healthy enough to share the court since June 20, 2006.  You remember what happened then?  Don’t ya?  Sure you do.  That was when the Heat polished off Disco Dirk and the Dallas Mavericks.  Polished off Disco Dirk and the Dallas Mavericks to earn the first NBA title in the franchise’s 19-year history.  Everybody’s been Phoenix Sunsing.  Everbody’s been Dallas Mavericking.  Nobody’s been Miami Heating.  I am.  I smell what Miami’s got cooking.  I know.  I know as of right now, the reigning champs wouldn’t even be allowed to defend the title.  Wouldn’t even make the playoffs.  We know why.  There’s been a void.  A big void.  A huge void.  A seven-foot one, three-hundred and twenty-five pound void.  A seven-foot one, three-hundred and twenty-five pound void in the middle for 37 of the Heat’s 41 games.  Even without Shaq, the Heat have been warming up.  During the past 10 games, the Heat are seventh in the league in scoring.   During the past 10 games, the Heat have put up better than 102 points a game.  During the past 10 games, the Heat are third in field-goal percentage, fifth in three-point shooting and have a positive point differential.  During the past 10 games, the Heat have not had the Diesel.  They do now.  They do now, and all bets are off.

Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!