You’re the instigator, the orator of the town.  You’re the worst when you converse, just a big mouth clown.  You talk when you’re awake, I heard you talk when you sleep.  Has anyone ever told you, that talk is cheap?  -Run DMC

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Add another guy to the guys I hate list.  Add Joey Porter.   I want him dead! I want his family dead!  I want his house burned to the ground!  I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna #### on ashes!  So Joey Porter said, “If it’s not Tom Brady, it shouldn’t be that hard.”  So Joey Porter said, “It’ll be good to go out and get our first victory.”  When will these cats learn?  Remember when Anthony Smith guaranteed a win?  Huh?  Do ya?  After Anthony Smith opened his mouth, the Patriots made a statement of their own.  Remember what happened to him?  He got embarrassed.  He got lit up.  Victimized early and often.  That’s what.  Nobody circles the wagons like the New England Patriots.  Not the Buffalo Bills.  Not nobody. 

The Patriots circled the wagons back in Super Bowl XXXIX.  Back in Super Bowl XXXIX when loudmouth receiver Freddie Mitchell opened his big fat yapper.  His big fat trapper.  His big fat flapper.  Mitchell, a starter only because All-Pro T.O. was hurt, said he just knew the numbers, not the names, of New England’s cornerbacks.  He did say he knew #37.  Said he had something for #37.  All he had for #37 was one catch for eleven yards, and that came with 2:44 left in the game.  As for #37, he had the last laugh.  He picked off Donovan McNabb’s pass intended for tight end L.J. Smith with nine seconds to play to nail down New England’s 24-21 victory over Philadelphia in Super Bowl XXXIX.  Hoorah!

Then there was this:

Which led to this:

The Chargers had to know that you can’t have a signature dance or prop and not expect it to get used against you if things go bad.  The Honky Tonk Man knew there was always a chance that somebody would take his guitar and smash it over his head.  The Patriots took Shawn Merriman’s guitar and smashed it over his head.  The Chargers have been crying ever since. 

Now it’s Joey Porter’s turn.  This is what the Patriots are going to do to Porter and the Fins:

Peace out Joey.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  You are the one I want!  Oooooo, ooooo, ooooo.  The one I need.
Oh, yes indeed.  -Grease

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Make no mistake about it, the Dolphins need a lot of things.  The staff is set. The assistants are in place.  Now it’s time to get some players.  Football players play football.  Bill Parcells is buying the groceries.  He needs to mosey down the quarterback aisle and pick himself up a football player.  He needs to mosey down the quarterback aisle and pick himself up some Matt Ryan.  Matty Ice.  I’m so hot for her.  I’m so hot for her.  I’m so hot for her, and she’s so cold.  Cold as a cucumber.  Never gets nervous.  Never Nervous Pervis.  Never gets uptight.  He just calmly walks into the huddle and executes the game plan.  Matt Ryan plays football.  In 2006, played football hurt.  In 2006, he played most of the season on a broken foot.  Awarded first-team All-ACC honors on a broken foot.  Gimping to a double overtime victory against nationally ranked Clemson.  Gimping around to beat Florida State.  Wo oh oh oh oh.  Wo oh, oh oh.  Hangin’ tough.  Hangin’ tough with a laser rocket arm. Hangin’ tough with great mechanics.  At 6-feet-5, 218 pounds he’s a full grown man.  He was a full grown man one Thursday night in Blacksburg, Virginia.  One Thursday night in Blacksburg, Virginia in the mud and the slop.  One Thursday night in Blacksburg, Virginia when he brought the Screamin’ Eagles back from being down 10-0.  Brought the Screamin’ Eagles back in the final three minutes of the game.  Brought the Screamin’ Eagles back to a 14-10 victory.  He also threw the game-winning TD pass in the final two minutes of a win over Clemson.  A win that sealed the deal.  Sealed the ACC Atlantic division title for the Eagles.  For Boston, for Boston, thy glory is our own.  For Boston, for Boston, ’tis here that truth is known.  The truth is Matty Ice is a leader.  The truth is Matty Ice is tough.  The truth is Matty Ice is smart.  I’m smart!  Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!  If the Dolphins are smart, if the Dolphins want respect, they’ll draft Matt Ryan.  Matty Ice.  Ice ice baby, too cold, too cold. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Rolling Stones, Pervis Ellison, New Kids On The Block, Godfather II and Vanilla Ice

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!