While we enjoy the Madness, let’s take a moment to reflect on the greatest college basketball team of all time. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the best college basketball team I’ve ever seen. The best college basketball team there’s ever been. Better than Mean Joe Greene. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the 1990 UNLV Running Rebels:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

 

Josh Q. Public:  All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.  -Galileo

Public Service Announcement:  Here it comes!  Here comes the Madness.  March Madness.  And look at me.  Look at me without a team.  Me, without a horse in this race.  Blue Moon.  You saw me standing alone.  Without a dream in my heart.  Without a love of my own.  So sad.  I need me a bandwagon.  Like my main man Dan Rice.  #### tastes def when you pour it on ice.  Come on y’all it’s time to get nice.  I gotta get nice.  But with who?  Gotta have a shot to win it all.  I love Davidson.  I love Stephen Curry.  But they don’t have a shot at the big enchilada.  Neither does Drake.  Can’t be too good either.  Can’t be that juggernaut Memphis.  That sluggernaut, Memphis.  That punch you in your muggernaut, Memphis.  Not UCLA.  Not the Big Bad Bruins.  Not them.  No, someone a little more subtle.  Not too subtle.  I like my jelly to jiggle if I’m not being too subtle.  I’m going with Xavier.  The Xavier Musketeers.  All for one and one for all.  Their jelly jiggles.  Jiggle it just a little bit.  I wanna see you jiggle it just a little bit.  As it grooves.  Their jelly just jiggled itself en route to its best season in school history.  Their jelly just jiggled itself enroute to its third straight 20-win season and third consecutive NCAA tournament bid.  I like these guys.  I like these guys because they play defense.  Defense wins championships.  I like their seniors.  I like Drew Lavender.  I like Josh Duncan.  I like Stanley Burrell.  I like them to redeem themselves.  To redeem themselves for the Temple loss this year.  To redeem themselves for the most heartbreaking loss in school history one year ago.  One year ago when the Musketeers couldn’t close out Ohio State in the second round.  Like Marvin Hagler couldn’t close out Sugar Ray in the ninth. One year ago when Justin Cage missed the second of his two free throws in the closing seconds of regulation.  One year ago when the Buckeyes made a threecola at the buzzer, then went on to win 78-71 in overtime.  This team can do that.  They can redeem themselves.  They can do it in this here tournmaent.  Six of Xavier’s wins came against NCAA Tournament teams.  Five of them out of conference.  While a nation is rooting for the Georgia Bulldogs, I’ll be rooting for the other guys.  I’ll be rooting for Xavier.

Public Acknowledgements:  Mel Torme, Beastie Boys, Bringing Down the House and 2 In A Room

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Well I don’t know where they come from, but they sure do come.  I hope they comin’ for me.  And I don’t know how they do it, but they sure do it good.  I hope they doin’ it for free.  They give me cat scratch fever.  Cat scratch fever. -Ted Nugent 

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Here comes the madness.  March Madness.  Madness, madness, they call it madness.  Well if this is madness, then I know I’m filled with gladness.  It’s gonna be rougher.  It’s gonna be tougher.  And I won’t be the one who’s gonna suffer.  No, I won’t suffer, but some other folks might.  Some higher seeds might.  Some esteemed bracketologists might.  Anybody who overlooks these Davidson Wildcats might.  Those folks there might because this Davidson basketball team’s got cat class and they got cat style.  The Davidson Wildcats find themselves before the threshold of excellence.  By opening up a can on UNC Greensboro in the Southern Conference semis last night, Davidson just extended the nation’s longest winning streak to twenty-one.  Look for it to be twenty-two tonight.  Twenty-two skidoo tonight.  Twenty-two skidoo tonight after the finals.  The Davidson Wildcats are ranked twenty-fifth in the nation.  The Davidson Wildcats have won 35 straight conference games.  There’s a reason for that.  They’re good.  Real good.  Stephen Curry is good.  Real good.  Davidson guard Stephen Curry is the Southern Conference’s Player of the Year.  He’s a sharpshooter.  The rootinest, tootinest sum#### with a six-shooter you ever did see.  The son of another rootin tootin sum####.  The son of Dell Curry.  The son of Dell Curry is a difference maker.  Wofford coach Mike Young believes:  “It would be rare against anybody, with the exception of a few top-ranked teams, for Davidson not to have the best player on the floor.”  Yowza!  He’s that good.  But Curry doesn’t do it alone.  No, Kimosabe.  He has somebody getting him the rock.  He has Jason Richards getting him the rock.  He has the leading assist man in the entire nation getting him the rock.  Jason Richards’ ball handling skills are second to none.  Jenna Jameson’s got nothing on him.  Richards has an uncanny knack for finding Curry.  And Curry can finish from anywhere.  Anywhere!  Coach Bob McKillop has the Wildcats playing team basketball.  Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team.  No one more important that the other.  Coach Bob McKillop has them playing them playing defense.  Smothering defense.  Asphyxiating defense.  Suffocating defense.  Last night, the Wildcats effectively squelched Kyle Hines.  Kyle Hines, UNC Greensboro’s senior leader.  Kyke Hines, the SoCon’s top post player.  Squelched Kyle Hines and moved on to the finals.  Next up, the madness.  Can they be this year’s George Mason?  You betcha!  They’re the chief, they’re the king, but above everything, they’re the most tip top, Top Cats!

Public Acknowledgements:  Madness, Stray Cats, Yosemite Sam, Charlotte Observer, Hoosiers, Tonto and Officer Dibble

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Attitude, when I’m on fire.  Juice on the loose, electric wire.  Simple and plain, give me the lane.  I’ll throw it down your throat like Barkley.  See the car keys, you’ll never get these.  They belong to the Ohio State posse.  -Public Enemy

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Another day, another dolla, for the top dogg with the gold flea colla.  Holla!  Holla at your boy.  Holla at Greg Oden.  Goodness gracious me oh my-oh!  Look what’s cookin’ in Ohio!  Greg Oden.  Man Child.  Man-child, he will make you cry.  Man-child, man-child, man-child.  He’s the apple of your eye.  Greg  Oden.  The Gigantic-O.  Greg Oden.  Making the Buckeyes go.  Greg Oden.  Now you know.  You know I love this guy.  You know I think he is going to win NBA Championship after NBA Championship.  First thing’s first though.  First he’s gotta win the NCAA Championship.  He will.  Simon says… championship.  This is it.  Make no mistake where you are.  This is it.  Your back’s to the corner.  This is it.  The waiting is over.  No room to run, no way to hide.  No time for wondering why.  It’s here.  The moment is now.  About to decide.  Kenny Loggins style.  Greg Oden is going to decide.  Decide the outcome of this game.  Greg Oden is the key to Ohio State’s National Championship hopes.  Sure Fast Mike Conley has been playing great.  Sure Ron Lewis has been the pride of the Buckeye state.  But it’s Greg Oden who has to carry that weight.  Carry that wait a long time.  He’ll never give you his pillow.  What he will give you, is a chance to win.  A very good chance.  A chance to dance.  Dance like Jack Palance.  Don’t look at the stat sheet.  That’s not the Gigantic-O’s game.  Not what makes you say his name.  Not what puts everyone else to shame.  No, he doesn’t dominate the stat sheet, but his imprint is all over Ohio State’s success.  If you saw the second half of the Georgetown game, you know what I mean.  You saw the machine.  Saw him on your hi-def screen.  Thirteen gigantic points.  Nine gigantic boards.  One gigantic block.  Hibbert who?  He gives you a chance to win because he plays defense.  Extraordinary defense.  Superior interior defense.  He is a presence down low.  A presence to be reckoned with.  He totally alters what the other team tries to do.  Not in my hizzy.  Get that weak schnit outta here.  Striking fear into the hearts of men.  The boy that you loved is the man that you fear.  Yes, they fear him.  They headlight deer him.  Folks do not want bring the ball anywhere near him.  Not Roy Hibbert.  Not Jeff Green.  Not Joakim Noah.  Not Al Hortford.  Not nobody.  Why would they.  How could they.  Why should they.  You know what they say.  Defense wins championships and all that.  But Oden can fill it up if has to.  You saw that little run against the Hoyas.  You know the one.  The one that made you get up on your feet.  The one that brought the heat.  The one that was tough as concrete.  The finest cut of meat.  Scoring eight of OSU’s fifteen to start the second half.  Sparked a 10-2 run to start the second half.  Blew the Hoyas straight out of the Georgia Dome to start the second half.  Baby hook.  Baby hook.  Two handed phi slamma bamma jamma!  Dunk you very much.  Goodness.  The missed tomahawk.  Gracious!  The jumper from the baseline with the kissss.  If that spurt didn’t move you.  If it didn’t groove you.  If it didn’t J-Schmoove you.  You got no heart.  Fight the team across the field, show them Ohio’s here.  Set the earth reverberating with a mighty cheer.  Rah! Rah! Rah!  Hit them hard and see how they fall.  Never let that team get the ball.  Hail!  Hail!  Hail!  The Gigantic-O is here! 

Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  You upset me baby, upset me baby.  Like being hit by a falling tree.  Woman, what you do to me.  -BB King

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Just a short one today.  Just a short one from the basketball court one today.  Butler Basketball.  Butler Bulldog Basketball.  Can they do this?  Do they have a shot?  Just what makes that little old ant think he’ll move that rubber tree plant.  Anyone knows an ant can’t, move a rubber tree plant.  But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes.  He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes.  In the land of the chalk, the Butler Bulldogs have high hopes.  No one can make this ram scram.  Couldn’t make ‘em scram from the Pre-Season NIT.  In the pre-season NIT, the Bulldogs high hoped Notre Dame.  They high hoped Indiana.  They high hoped Tennessee and Gonzaga.  High hoped themselves all the way to the championship.  This team has beaten Purdue in the regular season.  They made their way into the top ten and have been ranked among the nation’s top twenty teams since November.  Beat number four seed Maryland in the tournament.  Moving rubber tree plants left and right.  These guys are outta sight.  They face the biggest of rubber tree  plants tonight.

AJ Graves has high hopes.  “That’s fine.  They didn’t say we’d win versus Maryland either.”  He’s not gettin’ low.  He’s not lettin’ go.  Why should he?  MVP of the NIT Season Tip-Off, he’s the Jimmy Chitwood of this dance.  He’s a dancin’ fool.  Dancin’ like those other old fools, Emmit, Jerry and Clyde the Glide.  Like Myra Fleener always says:  ” He’s a real special kid and, and I have high hopes for him.”  This kid can shoot.  Shoot the lights out.  Shot the lights against Old Dominion.  Shot the lights out against Maryland.  He’s gonna have to shoot the lights again tonight against the Gators if Butler wants to take this thing.  If they really want that brass ring.  If they really wanna be all that and a chicken wing.  I’ve seen you guys can shoot but there’s more to the game than shooting. There’s fundamentals and defense.  Welcome to Indiana Basketball.  Butler Bulldog basketball.  Disciplined basketball.  Mike Green is disciplined.  He has high hopes.  High apple pie in the sky hopes.  He was disciplined enough to take the Horizon League’s Newcomer of the Year Award.  Disciplined enough to finish as the team’s leading rebounder.  As a six foot guard.  Disciplined enough to finish as the team’s second-leading scorer.  Second team All-League.  Playing relentless defense.  Dogged defense.  Bull Dogged defense.  Played Bull Dogged defense against ODU.  His Bull Dogged defense along with Graves’ shooting, just shut down the vaunted ODU offense.  Shut ‘em down, shut ‘em, shut ‘em down.  Public Enemy style.  Brandon Crone has high hopes.  He’s not feelin’ bad.  He’s not feelin’ sad.  He’s a Two-time All-State baller from Indiana’s own Frankfort High.  Get the papers, get the papers.  He set school records for career scoring and rebounding.   He was MVP. of the state AAU tournament, which his team won.  He was voted Butler’s captain as a sophomore.   He had a 27-point outburst in a game against Ohio State last season.  But what this guy does.  What this guy does all the time is:  Go out and get his ten to fifteen points a game.  Go out and get his four to seven boards.  Play Bull Dogged defense.  Play Butler Bull Dogged defense.  For Butler to win tonight, they’re going to have to continue that Bull Dogged defense.  They’re going to have to continue to hit the threes.  The magic number.  Don’t forget, Butler set a Horizon League record by making 314 from beyond the arc.  They scored thirty-six of their sixty-two points on Downtown Freddie Browns against the Terps.  So they can do this.  Like they always knew this.  They’re playing the defending National Champions tonight. They’re playing the number one seed in the NCAA Tournament tonight.  But, all those problems just a toy balloon.  They’ll be bursted soon.  They’re just bound to go pop.  Oops there goes another problem kerplop.  Butler Bulldogs Basketball, ladies and gentlemen.  Butler Bulldogs basketball.

Peace out homies.  Sox Two and even!

Josh Q. Public:  Disconnect the telephone line.  Relax baby and draw that blind.  Kick off your shoes and sit right down.  Loosen up that frilly French gown.  Tonight’s the night.  It’s gonna be all right.  -Rod Stewart

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go, Daddy-O!  Let’s get ready for the show.  You know I like O-hi-o.  I like the Gigantic-O.  Like him more than Adrian Barbeau.  March Madness is here.  This is it.  Make no mistake where you are.  This is it.  Your backs to the corner.  This is it.  The waiting is over.  No room to run.  No way to hide.  No time for wondering why.  It’s here.  Kenny Loggins style.  Yup this is it.  It’s here.  Whodoyagot?  Whosdoyagot?  Do you got Florida?  Repeat?  Very difficult.  The Gators have taken some bumps.  The Gators have taken some bruises.  They just lost three of five.  Just like last year.  You saw what they did last year.  Can they do it again this year?  You got On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin?  You like ’em after the OSU loss?  You like ‘em after losing big man Brian Butch to a dislocated elbow.  You better like Tucker.  Tucker the chucker.  Tucker the delivery trucker.  Cause that’s what you’re gonna get.  Tucker, Tucker, and more Tucker.  You got the Ducks?  Here I come to save the day!  Are little man Tajuan Porter and big man, Maarty Leunen enough.  Will Tajuan Porter stay giddy in the zone?  Can Aaron Brooks stay clutch?  Can they hang tough.  What about the Terps?  You got them?  You fear the Turtle?  Seven straight in the ACC.  Five players averaging in double figures.  Darryl Strawberry’s boy.  Strawberry has been the Terrapins biggest all-around threat.  A triple threat.  Triple trouble.  Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers.  Averaging 15.2 points, 4.3 rebounds, 3.5 assists You got them?  I got UNLV going pretty far.  Wendell White’s gonna be a star.  Maybe Marilyn McCoo thinks, you don’t have to be a star, baby, to be in my show.  But she’s wrong.  Winthrop?  Everybody’s got them.  Everybody likes them.  When your only losses are to North Carolina, Maryland, Wisconsin and Texas A&M, you have to be liked.  Everybody likes that they’ve just won eighteen straight.  Everybody thinks they’re gonna be great.  ODU?  Davidson?  The Monarchs and the Wildcats?  You got those upset specials?  I wish I was special.  What the hell am I doin’ here?  I don’t belong here.  You like Kansas?  I like Kansas.  I like the Jayhawks.  Ath-uh-letes.  The Jayhawks are hot.  Call the chief ’cause they’re on fire!  Brandon Rush.  Mario Chalmers.  Julian Wright.  I like those sophomores.  UCLA?  You got them?  Nobody plays defense like Arron Afflalo.  Nobody.  But, he better find his daggone jumper.  Can they dance without a big rebounder?  Pitt Panthers?  You sold?  I’m not.  Soft.  Mr. Softie soft.  Here comes Mr. Softie, the soft ice cream man.  Paper Panthers.  They look far better on paper than they do on the court.  You got the Salukis?  Sure is fun to say, ain’t it?  Salukis.  Sounds so nice, I said it twice.  Fun to say this too:  Knock ‘em down.  Roll ‘em around.  Come on defense work!  Defense wins championships.  The Salukis play defense.  Ease your troubles, that’s what they do.  The Dookies?  Really?  You got them?  Good luck.  No soup for you.  Holy Cross?  The Crusaders?  I got them. Homer pick all the way.  I didn’t get the communique.  What’s a Masswhole to say?  Another defensive team.  Coach Willard has ‘em playing team defense.  Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team.  No one more important that the other.  Here comes Car’lina lina.  Here comes Car’lina lina.  We hail from NCU!  Tyler Hansbrough.  Brandan Wright. Ty Lawson.  These Heels still make up the nation’s best offensive/defensive balance.  They look mighty good.  I fear the Hoya.  I got the Hoya Paranoia.  Oh Boya!  Green and Hibbard.  Hibbard and Green.  Playing like a fine tuned machine.  I’m just waiting for Jeff Green to totally bust out.  Bustin’ out, everybody come along.  He’s gonna dance on the funk and make love on this song.  Kyle Weaver and the Washington State Cougars?  I’m not biting.  Soft as church music.  Ya, they play some D, but nope, still not biting.  Who’s gonna score on that team?  You got Texas?  You got Kevin Durant?  You should.  A game breaker.  Heart taker.  Championship maker.  A.J. Abrams is the best shooter in the tourney not named Chris Lofton.  Don’t sleep on DJ Augustin either.  How bout USC?  Nick Young and the Taj Mahal should take this team far.  Baby’s gonna be a star.  Baby you can drive my car.  Drive it all the way to the Sweet Sixteen.  Toot toot ya!  The Screamin’ Eagles?  Jared Dudley!  Jared Dudley!  Jared Dudley!  For Boston, for Boston!  Climb on his back boys and let him take you to the Promised Land.  How did Bobby Knight’s team even get in?  Quite frankly, they’re an abject disastah.  GWU?  My dear old alma mata.  They could win a couple right?  Right?  Are you from Belmont?  I’m from Belmont.  Not the Nashville Belmont.  Not the Bruins Belmont.  A different Belmont.  The Marauders Belmont, but still.  Two six foot ten centers can’t hurt.  #### Roberts?  Hee hee hee ####.   The Memphis Tigers?  You got them?  To me they’re the scariest cats in this thing.  Good chance of getting that ring.  They got the world on a string.  30-3.  I don’t care what conference you come from, that’s impressive.  A nation-leading 22-game winning streak.  Goodness!  Be very, very afraid of these cats.  You got the Aggies?  Acie Law sure is better than Acie Earl.  Ain’t he?  Huh, ain’t he?  UVA?  They got the dynamic duo.  Holy horseshoe Batman, with a little luck, Sean Singletary and J.R. Reynolds could surprise some people.  A lot of people.  With a little luck, we can help it out.  We can make this whole damn thing work out.  Holy heartbreak.  You got the Nevada Wolfpack?  Huh, do ya?  Nick Fazekas and Co. will be chomping at the bit.  Chomping at the bit to show last year’s first-round upset was a fluke.  They just got juked.  They’ll do better than Duke.  Xavier?  I got them.  I got the Muskateers.  M-o-u-s-e!  No mice they.  Drew Lavender, Stanley Burrell and Justin Doellman got their stuff together just in time to go dancing.  Come dancing,
come on brother, have yourself a ball.  Don’t be afraid to come dancing, it’s only natural.  The 49ers of Long Beach State?  I’ve got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah.  I’ve got a feeling, a feeling I can’t hide, no no.  Yeah I’ve got a feeling.  This team pushes it.  Pushes it real good.  I like ‘em.  I like ‘em a lot.  The Great Danes of Albany?  I’ve always liked these guys.  Liked them from way back.  I like Jamar Wilson.  The America East back-to-back MVP.  The owner of his school’s career scoring record.  Go Danes!  Yes sports fans, March Madness is here.  Whodoyagot?

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

 

Josh Q. Public:  Top Cats!  The indisputable leaders of the gang.  They’re the boss, they’re a pip, they’re the championship.  They’re the most tip top, Top Cats!  -Hannah/Barbera

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  It’s a coming.  March Madness is a coming.  Coming out man to man.  Nickle and Dimers.  Dribble drives.  They’re sending it in.  Teardrops that’ll make you cry.  With a kiss!  With authority.  With the blow by.  All of it.  Win or go home.  Last year, George Mason didn’t have to go home.  Not for a while anyway.  Who’s it gonna be this year?  Who’s gonna be that Cinderfella?  Who’s gonna be raising hella?  Playing under that magic spella.  Stella!!!  Stanley Kowalski style.  Is it going to be Drexel?  The Dragons had victories over Big East teams Syracuse and Villanova.  They had a huge come-from-behind win over Creighton on the road.  Speaking of Creighton, is it going to be the Blue Jays?  Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to go?  Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to roll.  What?  Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to roll, gettin’ ready to go?  George Clinton style.  Is it going to be the Belmont Bruins?  The Belmont Bruins, out there having fun, in the warm Atlantic Sun.  Having fun knocking down twelve of nineteen from downtown in the first half of the Atlantic Sun finals.  Finishing the game with fourteen bombs in all.  Having fun averaging a league-high nine threes a game.  Is it going to be Winthrop?  Can the Eagles even be considered a Cinderella?  Ranked twenty-third and all?  Me, I like Vermont.  The Vermont Catamounts.  We will tear up our mighty rivals, and pile up score on score.  We’re going to fight, fight, fight for old Vermont.  For Vermont evermore!

The Catamounts have been fighting for old Vermont for a while now.  Tearing all through the America East in style now.  Only one conference loss makes you smile now.  And I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while now.  Tearing through everybody.  Vermont has been winning at a staggering rate.  They just won thirteen straight.  Making folks proud to be from the Green Mountain State.  That thirteen in a row is the fifth longest streak in the nation.  They’ve also won twenty of their last twenty-one.  One more win and they tie the school record for most wins in a season.  Playing just like Animal and Hawk.  The Road Warriors.  Big time win at then number fourteen Boston College.  Thirteen straight big time wins on the road.  Most consecutive road wins in all the land.  Scaring the nation with their guns and ammunition.  Scaring the nation with Chris Holm.  All 6'-11", 270 pounds of him.  Chris Holm, rebounding like a maniac.  Like an Animaniac.  He’s zany to the max.  There’s baloney in his slacks.  He’s a rebounding machine.  Second in the nation in rebounding.  Fourteen double-doubles.  Get the papers, get the papers.  Mike Trimboli, scaring the nation.  He scared Boston College.  Seventeen points, eight dimes, six boards and three steals against Boston College.  Joe Trapiani’s scaring the nation.  America East All-Rookie Team.  The kid’s a scorer.  The kid’s a scrapper.  Think David Lee with an outside touch.  He doesn’t miss much.  Comes up big in the clutch.  So there you have it.  The Vermont Catamounts.  Your 2007 March Madness Cinderella story.  Outta nowhere…It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole!  It’s in the hole!  It’s in the hole!

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!