Josh Q. Public:  Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.  Songs that made the Hit Parade.  Guys like us, we had it made.  Those were the days.  -Archie Bunker

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Whatsamatta Binky?  Life got you down?  Down on the ground?  You long for the glory days?  The wink of young girl’s eye?  Glory days?  You’re a traditionalist.  A purist.  Your glass is always half emptiest.  You curse the day Ron Blomberg was ever born.  You say the Wildcard should never have reared its ugly head.  Steroids have ruined the game?  Lighten up Francis.  The sky is not falling.  I revere the game of baseball as much you do.  Paul Revere the game as much as you do.  Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer the game as much as you do.  Probably more so.  I live in a field of dreams.  I watch the game as if I dipped myself in magic waters.  My memories are so thick you have to brush them away from my face.  I used to watch This Week In Baseball each and every Saturday.  Joe Garagiola too.  I remember Pudge waving it fair.  “There it goes!  It’s a long drive…if it stays fair…home run!”  I remember when Larcenous Lou Brock touched Ty Cobb’s untouchable stolen base record.  I remember Reggie owning October.  I remember all those things.  Your memories may go back even farther.  Go back to Bullet Bob Gibson.  Go back to the Say Hey Kid.  Stan the Man and  Rocky Colavito.  Or maybe not that far.  Maybe only as far as Cal.  As Rhino.  As Dave Stewart.  God love you.  Cherish those memories.  Hold them dear.  I do.  You’re allowed to be a sentimentalist.  But, be a sentimentalist without being a defeatist.  You’re allowed to embrace your memories.  But, embrace your memories while still forging new ones.  In these days of instant information and TMZ, we lose sight of the forest beyond the trees.  We lose sight of the Ichiros.  We lose sight of the Orlando Hudsons, the Adrian Gonzalezes.  And that’s a shame.  My tears fell like rain.  Those guys are good.  Real good.  We should be paying attention.  While we focus on the minutia and try to outsnark one another, we miss stories.  Miss the Brad Ziegler story.  Miss stuff like that there.  As we click and reclick the refresh button on Deadspin waiting with hope upon hope to see who has gotten tasered today, we forget we still have some pretty damn good ballplayers in today’s game if I do damn say so my own damn self.  We still have guys like Hanley Ramirez.  We still have guys like Chase Utley.  Like Carl Crawford.  Dustin Pedroia.  Guys who play the game hard.  Guys who play the game right.  Like it should be played.  We have Hall of Fame guys too.  For every Robin Roberts there is a Roy Halladay.   For every Josh Gibson there is a Big Papi.  For every Rollie Fingers a Mariano Rivera.  So cheer up.  Gray skies are gonna clear up.  Put on a happy face.  All is right with the world.  All is right with baseball.  These are the good old days.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and even!

Josh Q. Public:  Tuck you in, warm within.  Keep you free from sin.  Till the sandman he comes.  -Metallica

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Like my main Matthew always says, “So the last shall be first, and the first last.”  Like Michael Kay said.  Michael Kay is on the radio today.  A few days ago, Michael Kay said Mariano Rivera should start in this summer’s 79th Midsummer Classic.   Michael Kay was right.  And what’s right is right.  This is right.  Phil Niekro says, “This final All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium is what the Stadium is all about, memories.”  What better memory could there be than trotting out the Sandman to start that ballgame?  Mariano may not have built this house, but he sure put a lot of work into it.  Put a lot of work into it back when he was setting up John Wetteland.  Back when he was setting up the first Yankees Championship in eighteen years.  Back when he was setting up a Dynasty.  The rest, as they say, is history.  A history of memories.  MLB, Terry Francona, do like M-M-M-Martin.  Do like M-M-M-Malcom.  Do the right thing.  Howard Cosell will tell you, “What’s right isn’t always popular.  What’s popular isn’t always right.”  I’m here to tell ya, this will be both right and popular.  Get her done.

 

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Big time.  I’m on my way, I’m making it.  Big time.  I’ve got to make it show, yeah.  Big time.  So much larger than life.  -Peter Gabriel

Public Service Announcements:  Ok, here we go!  Eighty-one games in the books.  Time to do this.  Like we always knew this.  I do the Smurf, the Popeye, and the Jerry Lewis.  I also hand out awards.  Midseason awards.  If you pleasin’ awards.  Grade A guaranteesin’ awards:

Willie Mays Award (Best Player on the Planet): Fresh off Player of the Month, this award goes to Hanley Ramirez.  Beast of the East.  A lean mean baseball machine.  This kid really can play the came.  On offense, he hits for power.  He hits for results.  He’s the best leadoff hitter I’ve seen since Rickey.  On defense, he has exceptional range.  He has an equally exceptional arm.   He is going to be the best player in baseball for a long, long time.

Teddy Ballgame Award (Best Hitter):  Lance Berkman.  Berkman has put together one of the strongest first halves we’ve seen in a while.  A Ken Patera first half.  Just a monster.  A leviathan.  A barbarian.  A behemoth.  I’m no sabermatric guy.  No Bill James, I.  But Berkman’s numbers are just astounding.  .364/.444/.690 in 313 at-bats.  He has also posted the majors’ highest OPS (1.135), OPS+ (198) and slugging percentage.  He is second in the NL in batting average and RBIs and third in homers.  If it weren’t for Chipper,  Berkman would have a legitimate shot at the circuit’s Triple Crown.   

Sandy Koufax Award (Best Pitcher):  I said it yesterday.  I’ll say it again today.  Have another drink on me Doc Holliday.  Have another drink on me.  Roy Halladay.  In an age of pitch counts, Roy Halladay is a throw back.  A go back.  An Adrianne Barbeau back. Roy Halladay is by far and away the most unappreciated player in the game.  When all is said and done, Halladay will go down as the greatest Blue Jays pitcher ever.  When all is said and done, Halladay will go down as a first ballot Hall of Famer.  When all is said and done, he will go down as the best pitcher of his generation. 

Freddy Lynn Award (Best Offensive Rookie):  Rookie rookie, who gets the cookie.  Evan Longoria.  That’s who.  Longoria is poised to become the just third rookie in the last fifty years to have fifteen bombs, twenty doubles and fifty RBIs by the All-Star break.  Holy cow!  A once stud prospect for the Rays is now a stud Ray.  He is now the best player on baseball’s best story of 2008.  Twice he’s won games with walk-off hits.  Earlier this month, he drove a 442-foot blast at Rangers Park in Texas to become just the second player in the stadium’s history to reach the second-level outfield deck.  Light tower power.  He’s only going to get better.  Yikes.

Mark Fidrych Award (Best Rookie Pitcher):  The other guy in the Josh Hamilton trade.  Edinson Volquez.  Voltron.  Voltron may not only win the NL Rookie of he Year, he just may win the Cy.  The only other guy to do that was something in the air that night.  The stars were bright, Fernando.  Fernando Valenzuela.  Great.  Now I gotta change the name of the award. 

Brooks Robinson Award (Best Defensive Player):  Heard in a glooove song.  Heard it in a glooove song.  Can’t be wrong.  Can’t be wrong picking the O-Dog.  Can’t be wrong picking Orlando Hudson.  Orlando Hudson remains the best defensive player in baseball.  The best I’ve ever seen.  Maybe the best there’s ever been.  Just a glove machine.  And he won’t work for nobody but you.  Year after year.  Game after game.  Web gem after gem.  Simply the best.

Hank Greenberg Award (Best Jewish Ballplayer):  Hey, Sandy Koufax was already taken.  You got the Hebrew Hammer, Ryan Braun.  You got the Greek God of Walks, Kevin Youkilis.  But for my money, Ian Kinsler is the best Jewish ballplayer going.  When you think of second basemen, you don’t normally think about Kinsler.  He may not even be in your fav five.  He should be.  

Wade Boggs Award (Cheatenist Summama####):  Madonna’s new beau.  There was Jose Canseco.  There was Dennis Rodman.  There was Mark Messier.  You can now A-Broad to that list.  You can now A-Broad to that notch on the bedpost.  She may not be as muscular as Alex likes, but he likes Madonna just the same.  His wife doesn’t.  His wife likes Lenny Kravitz.  Oh, the tangled web weave.

Impossible Dream Award (Best Story Team):  Tampa Bay Rays

Jim Abbot Award (Best Story Player):  Jon Lester

Cecil Fielder Award (Fattest Player):  CC Sabathia

Andres Galarraga Award:  (Comeback Player):  Bartolo Colon

Sparky Anderson Award: (Top Manager):  Fredi Gonzalez

Lou Brock Award (Stolen Bases):  Willy Tavaras

Ron Blomberg Award (Designated Hitter):  Milton Bradley 

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  If we took a Halladay.  Took some time to celebrate.  Just one day out of life.  It would be, it would be so nice.  -Madonna

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Have another drink on me Doc Holliday.  Have another drink on me.  You deserve it.  The hardest working man in show business.  There’s no business like show business like no business I know.  Two balmy nights ago at Safeco Field, Roy Halladay was on the hill.  King of the hill.  Two balmy nights ago at Safeco Field, the king of the hill notched his sixth complete game.  Notched twice as many complete games as any other pitcher in the majors.  Yowza!  Just another a day at the office.   Just another four hit, six strike-out, no walk performance.   Just like he always does.  Like he did back in ‘03.  Back in ‘03 when Halladay led the American League in wins.  Led in games started.  Led in shutouts and innings.  Needless to say, he won the Cy back in ‘03.   In an age of pitch counts, Roy Halladay is a throw back.  A go back.  An Adrianne Barbeau back.  Like my main man Leo Mazzone always says,”We pay attention to pitch counts, but there are a bunch of priorities ahead of pitch counts…What i####uy’s out there, he’s got a hundred pitches and he isn’t tired?”   Ya what about that?  Harry Leroy Halladay.  That’s what’s about that.  Harry Leroy Halladay don’t get tired.  Ya heard?  Don’t get tired.  Since 2000, Harry Leroy Halladay has the most complete games in baseball.  Thirty-five complete games in baseball.  That’s more than Livian Hernandez.  That’s more that Randy Johnson.  That’s more than a lot of folks.  He’s led baseball three out of the last five years.  A gaggle of complete games.  Rockin’ Robin Roberts would be proud.  So would Kid Nichols.  So would Warren Spahn.  Greg Maddux.  Those guys there.  So would Dave Steib and Jim Clancy.  When all is said and done, Halladay will go down as the greatest Blue Jays pitcher ever.  When all is said and done, Halladay will go down as a first ballot Hall of Famer.  When all is said and done, he will go down as the best pitcher of his generation. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Bobby Dimes, Hank Williams Jr., and Ethel Merman

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

  

Josh Q. Public:  Oh no, you got to pay.  When you hit rock bottom, and you’re there to stay.  -Kiss 

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  This isn’t a very nice one.  Not at any price one.  Not a Riunite and ice one.   But it has to be done.  We all know Lance Berkman is tearing it up.  Chipper Jones is loaded for bearing it up.  Josh Hamilton is hasn’t got a caring it up.  Chase Utley is laissez-fairing it up.  We know this.  That’s not why I’m here today.  Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.  I know.  Sounds harsh.  But it sure is fun.  Ain’t it?  Of course it is.  So without further ado, the All-Worst Team:

C:  J.R. Towles.  Lance Berkman may be in Towles corner, but I’m not.  How could I be?  Towles is batting a meager .150.  He has a paltry four bombs.  A sparse twelve base knocks.   The kid has only two hits in thirty six at-bats over the first twelve games in May.  Like my main Charles Dickens always says, “Now, I return to this young fellow.  And the communication I have got to make is, that he has great expectations.”  He certainly does.  He’s not living up to them.  Towles started off the 2008 campaign with four homers in the first three weeks of the season, but has since gone cold.  Ice cold.  Stone cold.  To this point of the season, Towles has exactly 100 at bats with only fifteen hits while striking out twenty-four times.  That’s no way to start a career.  No way at all.

1B:  Ryan Garko.  Wanna know how badly Garko is playing?  Huh?  Do ya.  He’s playing so badly, Michael Aubrey is cutting into his playing time.  That’s bad.  After watching Fred Flintstone hit .182 in his last twenty-seven games, manager Eric Wedge has benched him.  Aubrey had two home runs in sixteen at-bats since his recall.  Garko has two home runs in his last ninety-four.  Egads!  Overall this year, Garko is hitting .236 with four bombs and just nineteen RBIs.  He is hitting .216 with runners in scoring position.  Call it Jungle Karma.  Call it the curse of Jim Rome.  Call it anything you like.  Ryan Garko has been just awful.

2B:  Robinson Cano.  Ha ha ha!  He ain’t got more action than his man John Woo.  And he ain’t got mad hits like he was Rod Carew.  Ha ha ha!  If you read the New York tabloids, you’d think this kid was back.  Back and on track.  Back on the attack.  Sure Cano has raised his average.  Raised it to the highest it’s been all season.  Raised it to a staggering .224.  Forgive me if I’m not impressed.  I’m not impressed with his impatience at the plate.  I’m not impressed with the way he refuses to work pitch counts.  I’m not impressed with his recent surge.  I’m not impressed with Robinson Cano.

3B:  Jack Hannahan.  When Hannahan played with the Tigers, they called him Jack Hann-a-who?  Now that he’s with the A’s, that name still applies. 

SS:  Tony Pena Jr. is simply not hitting.  Not a lick.  No magic stick.  He can’t hit once.  He can’t hit twice.  He can’t hit the baddest chicks.  Even if you lie to yourself and say that he’s a great defensive shortstop, which he is not, it doesn’t matter.  It just doesn’t matter.  Even if Pena improved his batting average one hundred points, he still wouldn’t be hitting enough to justify regular playing time.  Maybe it’s time to start playing Alberto Callapso and see what happens.  It couldn’t be any worse than this.

OF:  Lastings Milledge.  When the Mets first traded this cat, I thought they made a mistake.  A big mistake.  Like Fonzie, I was wrrrrrr.   I was wrrrrrr.  I was wrong.  You lollygag the ball around the infield.  You lollygag your way down to first.  You lollygag in and out of the dugout.  You know what that makes you?  A lollygagger. 

OF:  Andruw Jones.  It wasn’t too long ago Andruw Jones was the best centerfielder in all of baseball.  He ain’t pretty no more!  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Andruw Jones’ frustrating season took another turn for the worse.  It took a turn for the worse when when the Dodgers announced their $36-million outfielder would undergo surgery on his right knee.  And not a moment too soon.  He was hitting .165 with a team-high forty-five strikeouts in 133 at-bats. 

OF:  Corey Patterson.  Two words.  Jay Bruce.

SP:  Barry Zito.  Worst contract in the history of sports.

CL:  Eric Gagne.  Cool Papa Bell was so fast he could get out of bed, turn out the lights across the room and be back in bed under the covers before the lights went out.  Lights out for light out.

Public Acknowledgements:  William Shakespeare, Beastie Boys, 50 Cent, Happy Days, Larry Hockett, Tommy Como and Satchel Paige

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

  

Josh Q. Public:  I am a patriot, and I love my country.  Because my country is all I know.  -Pearl Jam

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  Happy Memorial Day.  From the Halls of Montezuma.  To the shores of Tripoli.  We will fight our country’s battles.  In the air, on land and sea.  Ted Williams fought our country’s battles.  Ted Williams fought our country’s battles and still put up some pretty impressive numbers.  Still put up some pretty gaudy numbers.  Still put up some pretty ridiculous numbers.  You know the numbers.  It’s murder by numbers, one, two, three.  It’s as easy to learn as your ABCs.  521 dings.  Lifetime .344 batting average.  1,839 base knocks.  Two Triple Crowns.  Two!  You hear that Josh Hamilton?  How ’bout you Lance Berkman?  All-time leader with a .483 on base percentage.  A career .634 slugging percentage.  Last player to hit .400.  I’m looking at you Chipper.  Unbelievable, right?  Greatest hitter ever, right?  I’m that star up in the sky.  I’m that mountain peak up high.  Hey I made it, mmmmmm.  I’m the world’s greatest.  Still, the question remains.  What would those impressive, gaudy, ridiculous numbers look like if Teddy Ballgame did not sacrifice himself for this great land of ours?  What if he did not did not sacrifice his baseball legacy for this great land of ours?  Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.  What if he did not give up the prime of his baseball life to enlist into the US Navy?  The US Navy.  Life, liberty and the pursuit of all who threaten it.  What if he did not give up the prime of his baseball life to enlist into World War II?  To re-enlist into the Marine Corps?  Semper Fi.  Do or Die.  To re-enlist into the Marine Corps and fly combat missions in Korea?  I want to fly like an eagle.  To the sea.  Fly like an eagle.  Let my spirit carry me.  I want to fly like an eagle.  Till I’m free.  Till we’re all free.  What if?  We could extrapolate.  We could interpolate.  We could.  I’m not gonna.  That’s not what I’m here for today.  I am here to honor the soldier.  I am here to honor the naval officer.  The Marine.  The bomber pilot.  While men like Roger Clemens squirm over the steroid issue, a man like the Thumper risked his life so men like Roger Clemens could squirm over the steroid issue. 

1942.  36 homers.  137 RBI’s.  .356 batting average.  Yowza!  Led the league in on-base percentage, slugging percentage, runs, total bases, walks.  All-Star.  Triple Crown.  Best around.  Fenway Faithful jumping up and down.  The best hitter in baseball.  1943.  WWII.  Pearl Harbor.  Teddy Ballgame enlists into the US Navy to fight the ####’s.  Holy smokes!  What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.  He could have taken a cushy assignment.  He could have played baseball for the Navy team in Hawaii somewhere.  Nope.  Flight school.  It was there it was discovered Ted had 20/10 vision.  It was there Teddy received his wings and commission in 1944.  Well, I don’t know but I’ve been told those Navy wings are made of gold.  Rose to the rank of Captain.  While awaiting orders as a replacement pilot, the war ended.  Back to baseball.  Back to all that is good.  Back to the most special place in all the world.  Like my man Buck Weaver always says, “You get out there, and the stands are full and everybody’s cheerin’.  It’s like everybody in the world come to see you.  And inside of that there’s the players, they’re yakkin’ it up.  The pitcher throws and you look for that pill… suddenly there’s nothing else in the ballpark but you and it.  Sometimes, when you feel right, there’s a groove there, and the bat just eases into it and meets that ball.  When the bat meets that ball and you feel that ball just give, you know it’s going to go a long way.  Damn, if you don’t feel like you’re going to live forever.”  Teddy sure played like he was going to live forever.  MVP after batting crown after All-Star appearance after MVP.  The best hitter that’s ever been borned.  Korea.  The Splendid Splinter is recalled into active service.  The Splendid Splinter flew F-9 Panther jets.  The Splendid Splinter flew thirty-seven combat missions.  The Splendid Splinter took enemy fire three times.  The Splendid Splinter crash landed his plane and saved his crew.  The Splendid Splinter flew with John Glenn.  John Glenn:  ‘’There was no one more dedicated to this country and more proud to serve his country than Ted Williams.’’  The Splendid Splinter received an Air Medal and two Gold Stars for his service.   The Splendid Splinter:  ‘’I was no hero.  There were nearly seventy-five pilots in our squadrons, and 99 percent of them did a better job than I did.’’  The Kid went back to baseball at age 35.  The Kid played seven more seasons.  In 1957, at the age of 38, Williams may have had the best year of his legendary career.  He led the league with a .388 batting average.  He hit 38 dings.  It has been estimated that Ted lost 561 hits, 103 bombs, and 382 RBI during his first stint in the service.  So this week end, Memorial Day week end, with all this talk about steroids and asterisks,  I ask you, what about war heroes and asterisks? 

Public Acknowledgements:

I’d like to take this opportunity to honor all those who fought so heroically to defend our country all over the world.  Here are just some of those brave men:  

Pat Tillman:  Arizona Cardinals.  Relinquished a multi-million dollar contract to join the Army with the professed goal of making it as a Ranger.  I want to be an airborne ranger.  Livin’ a life of heck and danger.  In this era of pampered, million-dollar ballplayers, he was a throwback to an earlier age.  Rest In Peace.

Bullet Bob Feller:  Became the first major leaguer to volunteer for active duty.  Enlisted in the Navy two days after the attack on Pearl Harbor.  Anti-aircraft gunner.  Battleship Alabama.  Fought at Tarawa, Iwo Jima.  Fought in the Marshall Islands.  For his service, he earned five campaign ribbons and eight Battle Stars.  Despite losing four years to the war, Bullet Bob won 266 games.  Struck out 2,581 batters.  Played 18-years.  Three no-hitters.  A dozen one-hitters. 

Yogi Berra:  Navy.  Stationed aboard a rocket launcher off the coast of Normandy Beach just after D-Day.  On a techno D-day, a techno D-day.  Out on Omaha Beach where the troops believe in a life of freedom.

Hoyt Wilhelm: Pitched his knuckle ball in more than a thousand games.  Guard your grill, knuckle up.  I ain’t the type to give up.  Guard your grill, knuckle up.  Knuckling up to become the first closer to enter the Hall.  Earned a Purple Heart in the Battle of the Bulge.

Warren Spahn:  Braves.  Spahn and Sain and pray for rain. Came too close to making the ultimate sacrifice.  Injured during the Remagen Bridge collapse.  WWII.

Others who served in WWII:  Enos Slaughter, Dizzy Dean, Larry Doby, who fought for America even while America didn’t fight for him.  Gil Hodges, Bobby Jones, Jack Dempsey and Gene Tunney.

Professional football players answered the call as well.  638 NFL players served in World War II.  355 were commissioned as officers.  66 were decorated.  21 lost their lives.  

Al Blozis:  Offensive tackle for the New York Giants.  Selected by the UPI as one of three outstanding athletes of 1941.  On his first patrol.  Less than two months after playing his last football  game.  Killed in the Vosges Mountains in a skirmish during the Battle of the Bulge.  Lieutenant Alfred Blozis was 26. 

Vietnam Reserves:  Boston Red Sox pitcher Jim Lonborg.  New York Mets Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan and second baseman Ken Boswell.  New York Knicks stars Cazzie Russell and Bill Bradley. 

Rocky Bleier:  Trying hard now.  It’s so hard now.  Trying hard now.  Vietnam.  Helped the Steel Curtain win four Super Bowls.  Drafted into the Army.  Infantryman.  Suffered crippling wounds in both legs.  Hit by enemy rifle fire and shrapnel.  Could barely walk let alone run.  After two agonizing years recovering from his wounds, Rocky went on to a stellar 12-year career in the NFL.

Roger Staubach:  Hall of Fame quarterback.  Dallas Cowboys.  US Naval Academy.  Served in the Vietnam theater of operations. 

Willie Miller: Wide receiver.  Played in the Super Bowl with the Los Angeles Rams.  Vietnam.

Charlie Johnson:  Defensive tackle for the Philadelphia Eagles.  Vietnam.

Bob Kalsu:  He started eight games at guard in 1968.  Buffalo Bills’ top rookie.   Entered the Army to satisfy his ROTC obligation in November of 1969.  Vietnam.  Killed in action on July 21, 1970 at Fire Base Ripcord near the A Shau Valley. 

Al Bumbry:  Baltimore Orioles outfielder.  Vietnam.  Led an infantry platoon.  All of his men made it home.  The men will cheer and the boys will shout.  Bring ‘em home, bring ‘em home.  Yeah, and we will all turn out.  Bring ‘em home, bring ‘em home!

Ed Figueroa:  Pitcher, California Angels and New York Yankees.  Vietnam.

Willie Mays:  The Say Hey Kid.  US Army.  Korean Conflict. 

Eddie Grant:  The only major league baseball player to have given his life for his country.  Died in the Argonne Forest on October 5, 1918, fighting in World War I.  Rest in Peace.

Moe Berg:  Catcher.  One of America’s most effective spies in World War II.

Lou Brissie:  Pitcher. Indians and A’s.  Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts in Europe.  Nearly lost a leg to a German artillery shell.  After twenty-three operations and an excruciating rehabilitation, Lou was back pitching in the bigs in 1947.

Al Hrabowski:  The Mad Hungarian.  Relief pitcher.  Served in Vietnam.

David Robinson:  San Antonio Spurs, center.   Attended the U.S. Naval Academy and served a two-year military commitment before joining the NBA. 

Jerry Coleman:  MVP.  2nd baseman.  Yankees.  Marine aviator.  Korea and WWII.

Other ballplayers in the Korean Conflict: Whitey Ford, Don Newcomb, Don Larson, Bobby, Brown, Bob Kennedy, Curt Simmons and Whitey Herzog.

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.  -John F. Kennedy.  

These men believed.  Countless others not mentioned did as well.  Heroes all.

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Josh Q. Public:  I’m unbeatable like Rocky Marciano.  Hit ya right bellow the belt, now your singing soprono.  Talk what ya talk, still you don’t know what I know.  -House of Pain

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Oh boy!  How ’bout them juggernaut Red Sox?  Them sluggernaut Red Sox.  Them punch you in the muggernaut Red Sox.  The best team in baseball just keeps getting better.  She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can’t find a better man.  Two grannies.  Yea, you know I’m getting silly.  I’ve got a Grandma Hazel and a Grandma Tilly.  JD Drew’s got a Grandma Hazel.  Mike Lowell’s got a Grandma Tilly.  Drew’s salami was an opposite field bomb into the Monster seats in the second to put the Sox up 4-1.  Lowell’s was just piling on.  Going that extra miling on.  Making it all worthwhiling on.  Piling it on en route to a four game sweep of the Royals.  Piling it on en route to a perfect seven-game homestand.  Piling it on en route to win ten straight home games.   Piling it on en route to the best record in baseball.  Wooo doggie!  And what a way to get there.   Daisuke Matsuzaka improved his record to 8-0 to become the first Japanese born pitcher to win nine consecutive regular-season big-league decisions on this side of the Pacific.  Jon Lester staves off cancer to throw a no-no Nanette.  Rookie Justin Masterson gets called up from the farm to pitch a gem in his first ever start.  Big bad Bartolo Colon, the former Cy Young winner, picks up his first win in a Red Sox uniform.  Don’t get any better than that.  Everything’s coming up roses.  You’ll be swell!  You’ll be great!  Gonna have the whole world on the plate!  Sarting here, starting now.  Honey, everything’s coming up roses!  Yes they are.  The Sox are the hottest team in baseball.  You know it.  I know it.  Casey Stengel knows it.  Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.  The Red Sox are hitting.  They have averaged seven runs per game during this current streak.  The Red Sox are pitching.  Despite a lackluster performance last night from the bullpen, the pitching has allowed a meager four runs per game during this current streak.  This team is destined for greatness.  This thing is theirs to lose.  Sean Casey:  “This is probably the best team I’ve ever played on.”  That means better than the 2006 World Series Tigers.  That means better than 1997’s World Series Indians.  Now, the greatest team Sean Casey has ever played on, hits the road.  Now, the defending world champion Red Sox, with baseball’s best record,  hits the road to begin a ten-game road trip.  Say, here I am, on the road again.  There I am, up on the stage.  Here I go, playing star again.  There I go, turn the page.  Roll Sox roll!

Public Acknowledgements:  Stan Lee, Pearl Jam,  Beastie Boys, Jed Clampett, Gypsie and Bob Seger

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Everyday the sun’ll shine.  Took this dream and made it mine.  I’m gettin’ down one thing that I know.  We’re untouchable.  -DMX

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Wooo doggie!  Archie Moonlight Graham once asked,  “Is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?”  Jon Lester will tell you the answer is yes.  Undoubtedly, yes.  Assuredly, yes.  Positively, yes.  Jon Lester.  The very bester.  The pound your chester.  The bulletproof vester.  Jon Lester was bulletproof last night, boyyyyyyy.   Lester was ahead in the count on twenty of the twenty-nine batters he faced.  Lester struck out nine batters.  Lester walked just two batters.  Batter, batter, batter, swiiiiing batter.  Lester threw his first career complete game.  And yes, Lester threw a no-hitter.  Doesn’t get much better than that.  Well, pitching the clinching game of a World Series is pretty good too.  And oh ya, beating cancer, that’s not too bad either.  What a story, what a story.  You thought the Rich Ankiel story was good.  You thought the Josh Hamilton story was good.  You were right.  This one’s better.  You know it by now.  Bellarmine Preparatory School.  Tacoma, Washington.  Phenom.  Phenomenal.  Gatorade State Player of the Year.  Minor  Leagues.  Portland Sea Dogs.  League-leading 2.61 ERA.  League-best 163 strikeouts.  Eastern League Pitcher of the Year.  Red Sox Minor League Pitcher of the Year.  Year-end Topps AA All-Star squad.  On top of the world looking down on creation.  Best young pitcher in the nation.  More fun than 101 Dalmatians.  Out of this world like the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.  The rookie lefty made his Major League debut in June ‘06.  The rookie lefty went 7-2.  The rookie lefty threw sixty Ks in eighty innings.  The rookie lefty contracted the cancer.  Ain’t that a shame?  My tears fell like rain.  On August 27th, 2006 Lester was scratched from his scheduled start due to a sore back. The following day he was placed on the 15 day disabled list.  Three days later, it was reported that Lester had been diagnosed with a treatable form of anaplastic large cell lymphoma.  There it was.  There was a kind of hush all over the world.  A deafening hush.  Made my insides turn to mush.  Another dream crushed.  But this kid’s a fighter.  He fights.  He fought off the cancer.  And just like The Terminator, who just like Jack Torrance, is baaaack!  On March 5, Lester made his first appearance in a 2007 spring training game.  He threw 8 pitches and retired the first three batters he faced.  Good news.  Real good news. He hasn’t looked back since.  And now this.  And now Lester is the first pitcher to win the clinching game of a World Series in one season and throw a no-hitter the next year since Sandy Koufax.  Yowza!   For he’s a jolly good fellow!  For he’s a jolly good fellow!  For he’s a jolly good feeeelllllooooww!  Which nobody can deny!  Curt Schilling can’t deny it:  “This isn’t even about baseball.  It just doesn’t get any better the way a guy like that comes back to us.”  No it doesn’t Curt, no it doesn’t.

Public Acknowledgements:  Field of dreams, Cameron Frye, The Carpenters, Arnold and The Shining

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

 

Josh Q. Public:  Whenever you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.  -Arthur Conan Doyle

Public Knowledge:

1.  Me oh myo.  Look what’s cooking in Ohio.  The Big Red Machine just keeps humming along.  The Reds just swept the Indians.  The Reds just swept the most vaunted pitching staff since the 1974 Orioles.  The Reds just capped a perfect six-game homestand.  Who woulda thunk?  Well, me.  But that’s besides the point.  Yesterday, Adam Dunn, Joey Votto and the Reds touched up the previously untouchable Cliff Lee.  Adam Dunn is on fire.  Adam Dunn hit a bomb for a fourth straight game.  Adam Dunn extended his RBI streak to seven games.  That streak matches the major-league high this season.  That streak matches Casey Kotchman, Big Papi and Chase Utley.  Meanwhile, Edinson Volquez just made himself the best pitcher in the Buckeye State.  Volquez is now 7-1.  Volquez gave up four hits and a pair of runs in six innings.  It was the first time Volquez had given up more than one earned run in a game this season.  Reds in the playoffs?  C you there.

2.  Cliff Lee wasn’t the only pitcher to fall back to earth yesterday.  The Cardinals sixth inning comeback against Tampa Bay ended Edwin Jackson’s streak of 20 consecutive shutout innings.  The Cardinals sixth inning comeback against Tampa Bay ended the longest streak for any starting pitcher in Rays franchise history. The only starters to fashion a longer scoreless innings streak this season other than Jackson are Cliff Lee and John Lannan. 

3.  Back where they belong.  Back on top.  Back in first.  The Boston Red Sox baby!  Big Papi baby!  Big Papi is back.  Back where he belongs.  Big Papi had two bombs yesterday.  Big Papi had a double yesterday.  Big Papi has seen his average rise to .250 from .184.  He has now hit safely in 15-of-17 games.  He has now thirty-two base knocks in his last twenty-six games.  Yowza!  Oh and not for nothing.  Speaking of back on top.  Papi is back on top the AL home run list.  Welcome back Papi.  We missed you.  Roll Sox roll. 

4.  Fantasy owners rejoice.  Ryan Braun is back too.  Ryan Braun is back and there was much rejoicing.  Braun hit two more bombs last night.  The Hebrew Hammer hit two bombs just one week shy of the anniversary of his first game in the majors.  Braun already set the record for most bombs within one year of a player’s major-league debut.  Now he’s just piling on.  The next-highest totals belong to Chuck Klein (42) and Mark McGwire (42).  Happy Anniversary Ryan:

5.  Which belief is stronger?  Is it harder to believe that this Spurs team will not make the conference finals?  Or is it harder to believe this Hornets team will play a bad game at home?  Like the Boss always says, “At the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe.”  The Hornets have crushed San Antonio at home in every game of this series.  But still.  The Spurs are who they are.  The closest thing to a dynasty this NBA has to offer.  I’m going with the Big Fundamental.  I’m going with the Spurs.  Dynastic!  Boombastic say me fantastic.  Touch me in my back she says I’m Mr
Romantic. 

6.  Uh oh.  This is not good news.  Not good news for the Padres.  Not good news for fantasy owners.  Not good news for anyone.  The Dixie Cannonball.  Jake Peavy.   Jake Peavy will miss his scheduled start tonight against St. Louis with soreness in his pitching elbow.  Jake has been very unPeavylike as of late.  He has lost three of his last four decisions.  Sharpness in all of his pitches has been absent.  He hasn’t pitched beyond the sixth in any of his last three starts.  He lasted just four innings last Wednesday against the Cubbies.  Not good news.  Not good news at all.

7.  Am I that old?   A.J. Foyt IV had to deal with wind and then fire Sunday before securing his starting spot in the 92nd Indianapolis 500.  AJ Foyt IV?  Really?  The fourth?  Oh.  The original AJ Foyt is a Jr.  But still.  I’m not a car guy, but I remember the original AJ Foytr just owning Indy.  Owning.  The fourth, huh?  I am getting old. 

8.  Sheed Says:  He Wasn’t Bullsh#$%*$t

9.  TO is at it again.  To doing what TO does best.  Throwing his quarterback under the bus.  Terrell was a featured on last night’s NBC 10 Sports Final and was asked to choose between Donovan McNabb and his current quarterback in Dallas, Tony Romo.  Terrell picked McNabb.  Terrell picked the guy he threw under bus in Philadelphia.  Go figure. 

10.  Yankees still suck.  Yankees still in last place.  Ha ha ha!

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

 

Josh Q. Public:  Can we actually “know” the universe?  My God, it’s hard enough trying to find your way around Chinatown.  -Woody Allen

Public Knowledge:

1.  One small step for man.  One giant step for Soxkind.  For Bartolo Colon, it was one more start in Triple-A and one step closer to being back in a Major League rotation.  Colon threw a brilliant one-hit gem yesterday.  He showed excellent command from start to finish.  He worked both sides of the plate.  He threw fifteen first-strike pitches with his velocity topping out at 95 mph.  He’s got a Cy Young Award.  And, he’ll be pitching in a big league ballpark near you.  Roll Sox, roll!

2.  I said Chase Utley for MVP.  I said Chipper Jones foe MVP.  Heck, I say a lot of things.  I say this.  If Lance Berkman keeps it up, the MVP is his.  Yesterday, Lance had two hits.  Yesterday, Lance had three RBIs.  Yesterday, Lance had a ninth-inning bomb that broke a 7-7 tie and provided the Astros with the winner winner chicken dinner.  Berkman did something else yeterday.  He stole his seventh base.  Tying his total from last year and three off his best mark ever.  He’s in the midst of a 14-game hitting streak.  He leads the NL in bombs.  He leads the NL in base knocks.  He would be leading the NL in average at .391 if it weren’t for the torrid Chipper Jones.  Welcome.  Welcome Lance Berkman to the MVP discussion.

3.  How ’bout this Brandon Webb character?  Nine wins in nine starts this season.  My goodness!  Filthy sinker.  Vile sinker.  Like my main Sylvester always says, dithpicable sinker.  Think Orel Hershiser.  Think Roy Halliday.  Think Wally Bunker.  Wally Bunker?  Mickey Mantle once referred to Bunker’s sinker as the type of pitch “you could break your back on.”  You can break your back on Webb’s sinker.  He is absolutely killing hitters every time he gets on the mound. 

4.  Chipper didn’t play yesterday.  Chipper maintained his gaudy .418 batting average.  Chipper has the highest batting average by any big leaguer through his team’s first 40 games of a season since Colorado’s Larry Walker stood at .419 in 1999.  Ted Williams head is rolling in its beaker.

5.  Mets/Yankees tonight and nobody cares.

6.  Derek Jeter had two hits yesterday.  Derek Jeter now has 2,401 hits for his big-league career.  Over the last 50 years, only two players were younger than Jeter when they reached 2,400 career hits.  Hank Aaron and Robin Yount.  I didn’t even realize Derek Jeter was still in baseball.

7.  No Boobie Gibson.  No Cavs victory.  No spreading out the floor for LeBron.  No soup for you!  NBA, win or go home.  The Cavaliers are going home.

8.  Papa Bill Remix:

9.  Jason Giambi wears women’s underwear.

10.  Yankees still suck.  Last place.  Ha ha ha!

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  And I’m a bad boy ’cause I don’t even miss her.  I’m a bad boy, for breakin’ her heart.  And I’m free, free fallin’.  Yeah I’m free, free fallin’.  -Tom Petty

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  What?  Oh.  You thought I forgot.  Thought I forgot about the Yankees.  Ha ha ha! Think again.  Last place.  This is rich.  Rich I tell you!  Sing it with me ####es.  Follow the bouncing ball.  Na, na… na, na, na, na… hey, hey, hey… goodbye.  Ha ha ha ha!  Goodbye Yankees.  I know it.  You know it.  The ghost of George Herman Ruth knows it.  The New York Yankees are all done.  I guess it’s over, call it a day.  Sorry that it had to end this way.  No I’m not.  I’m not sorry.  Last night the Yankees fell.  Last night, the Yankees fell to last place.  Last night, the Yankee fell to last place in the American League Beast.  Last place behind the Rays.  Last place behind the Red Sox.  Last place behind the Orioles.  Last place behind the Blue Jays.  The first time that the Yankees have resided in sole possession of last place this many games in since 1995.  Ha ha ha!  Poor old George Steinbrenner must be rolling around in his grave right about now.  Can you blame him?  The Yankees are atrocious.  Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious!  If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious.  I don’t care. I don’t care if I sound precocious.  It’s true.  Like my main Casey Stengel always says, “Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.”  Well, Yankees pitchers aren’t pitching and Yankees hitters aren’t hitting.  You do the  math.  We all know about the pitching woes.  The well documented pitching woes.  We all know about Phil Hughes.  On the DL.  We all know about Ian Kennedy.  Akinori Iwamura’s bomb on Kennedy’s fourth pitch of the game last night put the Rays ahead for good.  We all know about Kei Igawa.  Back down on the farm.  We all know about them.  It’s the hitting, or lack there of.  It’s the lack of hitting that’s sinking this Yankees ship.  It’s the lack of hitting that has these Yankees in such trouble.  Big trouble.  Big trouble in little China.  Adventure doesn’t come any bigger!  Against Tampa Bay’s four starting pitchers, the Yankees scored two runs in 27 1/3 innings.  On this 2-4 road trip, they hit .214 with runners in scoring position.  9-for-42 with zero home runs and a paltry three extra-base hits.  Ha ha ha!  Where’s A-Broad when you need him?  Where’s hip hip Jor-ge?  There’s no need to fear.  Captain Caveman is here.  Leadoff hitter Captain Caveman was 1-for-18 in the Tampa Bay series.  That’s no way to start your day.  Maybe putting on gold lame underwear is.  Jason Giambi is hitting .181.  Jason Giambi is in a funk.  You know what that means.  Whenever he is in a prolonged hitting funk, he wears a gold lamé, tiger-stripe thong under his uniform.  “I only put it on when I’m desperate to get out of a big slump.”  Ha ha ha!  It doesn’t get more desperate than this.  It doesn’t get more desperate than last place.  All I can say is, Let’s Go Mets!  Tonight’s the night we’re gonna make it happen.  Tonight we’ll put all other things aside.  Keep stepping on those Yankees necks.  Put them out of their misery.  No division.  No Wild Card.  No nothing.  Take your shoes off.  Put your feet up.  Sit back, relax, and be a Sox watcher.  Roll Sox, roll!

Public Acknowledgements:  Gary DeCarlo, Johnny Mathis, Mary Poppins, Jack Burton and the Pointer Sisters

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Brothers front.  They say the Tribe can’t flow.  But we’ve been known to do the impossible like Broadway Joe, so…  -Tribe Called Quest

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  You know what the man says.  The man says pitching wins championships.  The man says you’re only as good as good as your next day’s starter.  The man says good pitching will beat good hitting any time.  The man says we need a pitcher not a belly itcher.  The man says stuff like that there.  If the man is right, these Indians have a helleva ballclub.  One helleva ballclub.  Cleveland starting pitchers have not allowed a run in 43.1 innings.  How about that?  How about this?  It’s the longest scoreless streak by Cleveland starters since 1948.  Since Bob Lemon.  Since Gene Bearden.  Since Sam Zoldak.  Since Satchel Paige.  Since all those guys threw complete-game shutouts during a 47-inning scoreless streak.  Not for nothing, I miss the complete game. Not for nothing else, in 1980, Oakland Athletics pitcher Rick Langford threw 22 consecutive complete games. We’ll ver see that again. Never! The Indians steak is the longest scoreless streak by anyone since the 1974 Orioles.  Since Jim Palmer.  Since Mike Cuellar.  Since Dave McNally.  Since Ross Grimsley.  Since those guy threw 54 scoreless innings.  CC Sabathia won last year’s Cy.  CC Sabathia got off to a rough start this year.  A tough start this year.  A billy goat gruff start this year.  But like Jack Torrence, he’s baaaack!  Like Jack Torrence, he’s again a masterpiece of modern horror.  Last night, Sabathia threw a shutout for the Tribe.  Last night Sabathia was living on the corners.  Last night Sabathia was virtually unhittable.  He’s not the only one that’s been unhittable.  So has Clifton Phifor Lee.  That’s Cliff to you.  Lee has logged 53 2/3 innings so far.  Lee has only allowed runs in three of them.  Holy Cow!  That’s not all.  He is 6-0.  6-0 with a best-in-baseball, microscopic, miniscule, Lilliputian 0.67 ERA.  He’s struck out forty-four.  Forty-four big Ks compared to a paltry four walks.  Lee is just in a groove.  Groove is in the heart.  Ah-ah-ah-ah.  Groove is in the heart.  Aaron Laffey goes today.  Last seen, Laffey scattered six hits and walked just one in seven scoreless frames to pick up the victory in the Indians’ win over Toronto.  Throw in Fausto Carmona.  Throw in Paul Byrd.  Throw in those guys and you have an impressive starting five.  Maybe the most impressive.  Maybe the most impressive five since those Jim Palmer Orioles.  Like my main man Satchel Paige always says, “My pitching philosophy is simple - keep the ball way from the bat.”  That’s what the Indians are doing.  And if they keep it up, nobody’s touching them. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Casey Stengel, The Shining and Dee-Lite

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  All I’m saying pretty baby.  La la love you.  Don’t mean maybe.  -Pixies

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Yesterday I wrote about Josh Hamilton.  Yesterday, I told just one half of the story.  Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.  Today, I got a new story.  Today I got the story of Edinson Volquez.  Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed.  A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.  Oh sorry.  Wrong story.  Edinson Volquez.  The man the Rangers traded away for Josh Hamilton.  You may think it’s one sided.  You may think it was unfair.  You may think a position player is more valuable than a pitcher.  Just like you thought Pedro didn’t deserve to be MVP back in 1999.  Think again.  Edinson Volquez is for real.  Voltron is for real.  Transformers.  More than meets the eye.  Yes, Hamilton leads the American League in RBIs.  Yes, Hamilton is among the leaders in home runs and slugging percentage.  Yes, he plays a dy-no-mite center field.  Yes, he’s doing all that; but this Voltron character is tearing it up.  Loaded for bearing it up.  Haven’t got a prayering it up.  Last night, Voltron allowed a meager one run in six innings.  Big deal, you say.  Who cares, you say.  I say that ties a major-league record by allowing fewer than two earned runs in each of his first eight starts in a season.  Yowza!  I also say only three other pitchers have done that.  Just one in t