Josh Q. Public:  I am number one.  No matter if you like it.  Ready take this sit down and write it.  I am number one.  Hey hey hey hey hey hey.  -Nelly

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, hey Public, first you do lovey-dovey piece on Mariano Rivera and now this?  What, have you grown soft?  Ok, ok.  Before I get into this, just know, I hate the Lakers.  The fakers.  The dirty rotten snakers.  I hated Magic.  I hated Big Game James.  I hated Dancing Barry.  I hated Riles.  Showtime.  All of it.  The greatest moment in my sporting life occurred when Kevin McHale went all Stan Bad Man Hansen and smashed Kurt Rambis to the ground.  Cornbread Maxwell:   “Before Kevin McHale hit Kurt Rambis, the Lakers were just running across the street whenever they wanted.”   Kevin McHale stopped all that nonsense.  Kevin McHale forever changed the way Pat Riley coached basketball.  No more open court game.  No more Showtime.  No more poetry in motion.  It’s poetry in motion.  And when she turned her eyes to me.  As deep as any ocean.  As sweet as any harmony.  But I digress.  I hate the Lakers.  Ipso facto, I hate Kobe.  But the cat sure is good.  I don’t bother chasing mice around.  Singin’ the blues while the lady cats cry:  “Wild stray cat, you’re a real gone guy.”  Kobe’s a real gone guy.  A real gone guy in crunch time.  Crunch and munch time.  In round house punch time.  Kobe round house punched the reigning World Champeen Spurs real good like.   Round house punched the reigning World Champeen Spurs and once again, carried his team.  He carried his team once again in Game Five of the Western Conference Finals.  Kobe has been called a lot of things.  He’s been called selfish.  He’s been called a phillanderer, and worse.  He’s been called a baby.  Baby, baby.  Stick your head in gravy.  Wrap it up in bubble gum
and send it to the Navy.  Maybe deservedly so.  But now, now, you can just call him clutch.  Michael Jordan clutch.  Larry Bird clutch.  Reggie Miller clutch.  Jerry West clutch.  Last night, the Lakers came out flat.  Lifeless.  Bloodless.  Spiritless.  Enter the Mamba.  You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin Temple.  Enter the Mamba with 6:33 to go in the second quarter.  The Mamba turned a seventeen point blowout into a manageble six-point halftime deficit.  He wasn’t done yet.  Not by a long shot.  He scored twenty-six points after halftime.  He scored seventeen points in the fourth quarter.  He nailed long distance jumpers.  He attacked the basket.  He made ridiculous fadeaways.  He hit runners.  He willed his team to victory.  That’s what clutch players do.  They make the clutchest of plays in the clutchest of moments to win the clutchest of games.  Now Kobe takes his clutchness to the NBA Finals.  He takes his clutchness to the NBA Finals and attempts to do what naysayers have long naysaid he could not do.  He takes his clutchness to the NBA Finals and attempts to win a ring without the Big Cactus.  Love him or hate him, he’s clutch.  Bill James be damned. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Thomas Dolby, Stray Cats and Bruce Lee

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out Spurs.  Six Two and Even!

I was going to write a piece on Kobe.  I changed my mind.  But when researching, I found this:

Ray Allen, 2004: 

"If Kobe doesn't see he needs two and a half good players to be a legitimate playoff contender or win a championship in about a year or two he'll be calling out to Jerry Buss that 'We need some help in here,' or 'Trade me.  And we'll all be saying, 'I told you so,' when he says that."

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. -Winston Churchill

1.  When my fantasy baseball draft comes around, I’m picking D-Nice.  Gy-Ro-Mite!  I may even pick him too early.  I don’t care.  I haven’t been this excited about every fifth day since Pedro left town.

2.  More Sox talk?  Sure, why not.  Beltin’ Todd Helton.  Hasn’t been beltin’ for a couple of years now.  My first thought goes to steroids.  It’s just gross that’s the way we have to think now.  Just like it’s gross every time there’s a power outage or gas truck explosion we think terrorism.  Oops.  Just got political.  Sorry folks.  Todd Helton.  That’s a lot of lefties, no?  Papi, Drew and Helton.  I don’t care.  I like it.   A batting order with David Ortiz, Manny, J.D. Drew and Helton.  Goodness.

3.  The Super Bowl is getting closer and closer.  I find myself caring less and less.  Is that wrong?  Tell me there’s gonna be some Terrible Terry Tate commercials and maybe I’ll start to care a little more.

4.   When is the Shield coming back on?  C’mon guys, the joke is over.  We’ll be good.

5.  Vee Dot Carter.   Finally playing harder.  Competition is nada.  Filled it up for forty on Saturday.  Twenty in the fourth.  Nets end their record tying, three game, lose by one point, on the other guy’s last possession streak.  Carter just had thirty-three versus the Clips and a career high thirteen assists against the Wiz.  Nobody beats the Wiz.  Nobody.

6.  Stanford bears down.  Bears down to beat the number three UCLA Bruins.  Maybe its because I’m an East Coast guy.  I dunno.  I never believed in UCLA from the giddy-up.  As good as Arron Aflallo is, I just don’t see it.

7.  Seven-time Cy Young winner Roger Clemens isn’t prepared to say whether he’ll be back for another season.  Here we go.  Here we go again.  Here comes the Roger Clemens dog and pony show.  The Roger Clemens dog and pony show coming soon to a town near you.  Between him and Ted Stroehmann’s boy Brett Favre, I’ve just about had enough. 

8.  I know I’m gonna get killed on this one but, the Tiger and Federer stories don’t move me.  Don’t groove me.  Don’t J-Schmoove me.  I understand they may be the most dominating athletes out there, but I’m just not feeling the country club sports.  Never have.  I need action.  I need action for my satisfaction. 

9.  Here keep coming the Suns.  Again and again and again.  The Suns defeated the Cavs 115-100 on Sunday for their 33rd win in their past 35 games.  Only three other teams in NBA history went 33-2 over a 35-game span in one season: the Kobe and Shaq’s Lakers in 2000; Michael and  the Jordanaires in 1995-96; and Jerry West, Wilt Chamberlain and Elgin Baylor of the ‘72 Lakers.  How did that ‘72 Laker team ever lose?

10.  Here you go Dusty.  The Mamba scored six of the Lakers’ 14 points in overtime against the Spurs.  He now has accounted for a total of 50 of his team’s 106 points in OT this season. The Lakers have 38 games to play this season, but number twenty-four has already scored more OT points than any other player in any season since Fab Fiver Jalen Rose tallied 51 points in overtime in 2000-01.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!