Josh Q. Public:  You’re still the one that makes me strong.  Still the one I want to take along.  We’re still having fun, and you’re still the one.  -Orleans 

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Schill the Thrill.  Taking the hill.  Filling the bill.  Still gots the skill.  The skills to pay the bills.  Last night, maybe for the last time in a Red Sox uniform, Curt Schilling went out and did what he does best.  He went out and took over a World Series game.  Sherman, set the way back machine to 1993.  Ahh, 1993.  Rodney King.  Waco.  Schindler’s List.  Sienfeld.  Das EFX.  And Curt Schilling.  Schilling was 27.  Beckett’s age.   Curt Schilling was Josh Beckett’s age when he made his first World Series start for the Fightin’ Phils.  He got knocked around.  Rocked around.  Shocked around.  He gave up seven runs to the Blue Jays in 61/3 innings.  He hasn’t lost a World Series game since.  Five days later, Schilling came back to shut out Toronto.  The rest is history.  Schilling now owns an 11-2 record and 2.23 ERA in the post season.  He may have ceded his legendary status to Josh Beckett, but remember this, and never forget, Schilling is big game pitcher.  Schilling came to Boston a champion.  Schilling came to Boston a World Series MVP.  He came.  He saw.  He conquered.  Schilling:  “I’m going to Boston to break an 86-year-old curse.”  And break it he did.  He may not have done it alone, but what he did in Game Six, against the Bombers, goes down as The Most Heroic Performance I’ve Ever Seen.  The win against the Cardinals, icing on the cake.  ####, and I do mean ####, not in a loving, Red Sox way, but in a stupid #### way, Kevin Millar, asked this: ‘’When he comes into the game, people cheer him like he’s the Pope…Why does he get a free pass?”  Are you out of your goddamned mind, Kevin?  Do you really need an answer to that?  Schilling’s overall career in Boston has not been perfect for sure.  He’s been hurt.  He’s been about a .500 pitcher since 2004.  But it’s games like last night.  Big games.  Important games.  Imperative games.  Games like that there.  That’s why he gets a pass.  If that was indeed the Thrill’s last game in a Red Sox uniform, it was fitting.  Schilling:  “I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet better than me in a game that matters.”  I don’t either.  Roll Sox roll! 

Public Acknowledgements:  Bill Burt, Beastie Boys, Mr. Peabody and Julius Caesar

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.  -Charles Dickens

Public Service Announcement:  Ok here we go!  Curt Schilling and Pedro Martinez.  Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling.  Two peas in a pod.  It takes two to make a thing go right.  It takes two to make it outta sight.  Hit it!  Petey and the Thrill were integral members of the 2004 Red Sox World Champeen Red Sox team.  The one two punch.  The one two punch that led Boston past the hated Yankees.  The one two punch that led Boston past the hated Yankees and took them directly to the Promised Land.  The dogs on Main Street howl ’cause they understand if I could take one moment into my hands.  Mister I ain’t a boy no I’m a man, and I believe in a promised land.  Petey and the Thrill took one moment into their hands.  Schill with the bloody sock.  Pedro in Game 3 of the World Series.  Pedro has since gone to the Mets while Curt continues to toil in Boston, but these two still have a lot in common.  Both putting the Tiger Balm on.  You put the balm on?  Who told you to put the balm on?  I didn’t tell you to put the balm on.  Why’d you put the balm on?  You haven’t even been to see the doctor.  If you’re gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.  Both the Red Sox and Mets are in first place.  Because these teams have been in first and the wily old veterans are so critical for their teams’ success in the post season, the clubs are taking their own sweet time getting them back into their respected rotations.  Take it easy, take it easy.  Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.  The Mets have told Petey not to rush his return from right-shoulder surgery.  They want him to concentrate on being 100% upon his return.  Upon his return for the playoffs and beyond.  The Red Sox have an even safer cushion at the top of their division.  More cushion for the pushin’.  No need to hurry Schilling back.  Hurry Schilling back from right-shoulder tendonitis that put him on the DL.  Take it easy, take it easy.  Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.  Take easy and get healthy for the most important of seasons.  The post season.  Schilling vs. Pedro for all the marbles in game seven.  Would there be a better story than that?  Get well soon guys.  Well, at least in time for when it matters.

Public Acknowledgements:  Joel Sherman, Rob Base, Bruce Springsteen, Jackie Chiles and the Eagles.

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  You gotta roll, roll, roll.  You gotta thrill my soul, alright.  Roll, roll, roll, roll-a, thrill my soul.  Let it roll, all night long.  -Doors

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  The Boston Red Sox.  I made a bet with my boy Nostradomus.  Bet, bet bet…BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT!  Fred Flintstone style.  I had Tiger, he had the field.  I lost.  Now I have to write a post praising the Yankees.  Egads man.  Not today though.  I gotta sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today though.  And don’t worry ’bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey though.  ‘Cause the Sox are rolling today.  Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.  Though the streams are swollen.  Keep them Bosox rollin’.  Red Sox!  How ’bout them Red Sox?  Three in a row.  Three, it’s the magic number.  Five of their last six.  Playing knick knack on some sticks.  Seven of their last ten.  Do it again.  These old Sox are rolling home.  How ’bout Josh Boom Boom Beckett?  Another win yesterday.  Three and oh after yesterday.  1.50 ERA and 18 Ks after yesterday.  Yowza!  Schilling’s back.  Back on track.  Back on track, leading the pack.  I met him at the candy store.  He turned around and smiled at me.  You get the picture?  Yes, we see.  That’s when I fell for the leader of the pack.  Matzuka, Matsuzaka Matsuzaka.  The new king of ole Fenway Pahka.  I think it’s fair to say he’s for real.  The real deal.  Hard as steel.  Tim Wakefield is pitching better than I’ve seen in a while.  Better than he’s ever been in a while.  An inning machine in a while.  With Wakefield pitching better than I’ve seen in a while and Jon Lester tearing it up for the Greenville Drive, the Sox may soon have the best staff in baseball.  Woo doggie!  This is getting good.  Better than I thought it would.  Better than you thought it should.  And what about Papi?  The man you just can’t stoppie.  On the world, he is atoppie.  On top of the world looking down on creation.  Just on a tear.  Two bombs and eight ribbies in the last two days.  He’s on fire.  Up in here, it’s burning hot.  He’s on fire.  Shorty, take it off, if it get to hot, up in this spot.  He’s on fire.  He’s not the only one.  Not the only one getting it done.  Having some fun.  Julio Lugo’s having some fun.  Having some fun with the glove.  Oh, sweet darling, you get the best of my glove.  The best of his glove darting out to center to make a grab that saved a run.  The best of his glove down on his knees saying please, please.  JD Drew’s having some fun.  Having some fun on the run with a burger and a bun and a dish of applesauce on the siiiiiide.  And just wait ’till Manny starts being Manny again.  You know he will.  You know he’ll thrill.  This cat hits in bunches.  The ball he crunches.  Throwing knockout punches.  The Sox can throw some knockout punches in these next couple of series.  The Jays right now and the Yankees this week-end.  Yup, sippin’ on coke and rum.  I’m like so what im drunk.  It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun.  Have me some fun with this decimated Yankee pitching staff.  Marco.  Polo.  Hahaha!  Roll Red Sox, Roll!

Public Acknowledgements:  Deadspin, Doors, Boston Globe, Boston Herald, Yahoo Sports, The Flintstones, The Grass Roots, Rawhide, Schoolhouse Rock, Shangri-las, Carpenters, Jed Clampett, Lloyd Banks, Eagles and R. Kelly

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  If you wanna know the real deal about the three.  Well let me tell you, they’re triple trouble ya’ll.  I’m gonna bring you up to speed.  -Beastie Boys

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  It’s so close I can taste it.  Don’t waste it.  You gotta embrace it.  Marinate it and baste it.  It tastes like sunflower seeds.  It tastes like Red Man.  It tastes like eight dollar beer.  It tastes like peanuts and Cracker Jacks.  I don’t care if I ever go back.  It tastes like baseball my friends.  Major League Baseball.  It tastes like Boston Red Sox baseball.  Take your shoes off, put your feet up, and be a Sox watcher.  I’m a Sox watcher.  I watch the Sox.  The Boston Red Sox.  Better than a bagel and lox.  Tastier than whiskey on the rocks.  Here’s one for the bleachers and the upper tier.  Versatile like All-Temp-A-Cheer.  If you wanna drink, call Mr. Belvedere.  The Red Sox pitching staff.  Boston’s new big three.  Like my main little Ricky Pitino always says:  “Larry Bird is not walking through that door, fans.  Kevin McHale is not walking through that door, and Robert Parish is not walking through that door.”  No they ain’t.  You know who is?  Schill the Thrill is crashing through that door.  Josh Boom Boom Becket is bashing through that door.  D-Nice is smashing through that door.  Gy-ro-myte!   Just like Sonny Bono on the Love Boat, Boston’s new big three is gonna, “Smash it!  Bash it!  Hit it with a hammer and trash it!”  Smash, bash and trash opposing line-ups.  Make mincemeat out of ‘em.  They’ll tear those mieces to pieces. 

Curt Schilling:  Schilling had his final spring tune-up last night.  Schilling was lights out last night.  Red Sox ace Curt Schilling outpitched Twins ace Johan Santana last night.  Perfect through three innings against the Twins last night.  Peter perfect pimped a perfect Peter.  Honey dripper, sucker sipper, big dipper, sucker dipper.  Drippin’ suckers like its goin’ out-a-style.  He left in the fifth having allowed just two hits in a 5-4 victory at Hammond Stadium.  The Thrill threw fifty-six pitches in four and 2/3 innings  allowing two measly singles.  Measly like Mrs. Beasley.  Did it easily.  Schilling: “I’m ready to go.  I’m ready to start pitching for real.”  He pitched for real back in ‘04.  Bloody sock back in ‘04.  In my book, he gets a free pass for life.  What he did in Game Six, against the Bombers, goes down as The Most Heroic Performance I’ve Ever Seen.  The win against the Cardinals, icing on the cake.  Ladies and gentleman, that’s what an ace looks like.  38 Pitches:  “I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet better than me in a game that matters.”  I couldn’t agree more Curt, I couldn’t agree more.

Josh Boom Boom Becket:  First off, I just love the way Boom Boom goes out there and pitches his heart out.  Like a Hanson brother on crack.   No turning back.  Always on the attack.  Last year he was the cat who could not get his off speed pitches over the plate to save his life.  Or his wife.  It cut like a butter knife.  So he just came back with the cheese.  See ya!  Connectamundo!  Bye-bye baseball.  My, how times have changed!  Now he has total command.  Commander McBragg.  Commander McHale.  In his last outing, Boom Boom pitched seven innings.  Allowed one unearned run.  Gave up three paltry hits.  Struck out seven.  Ring’em up.  Sit ’em down.  This guy had just one walk in eighteen and 2/3 innings over five starts before Sunday.  His final totals:  twenty-nine Ks and four walks in twenty-five and 2/3 innings.  Yowza!  He’s hitting 95-96 on the Juggs.  Good night Irene.  Last year but a dream.  This year, he’s strawberry ice cream.  I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Daisuke Matsuzaka:  I said it before.  I’ll say it again.  Believe you me, I’m gonna keep on saying it.  Gy-ro-myte!  D-Nice.  My man.  A bulldog.  A burudoggu.  Orel Hershiser style.  Ichiban.  Man of a thousand pitches.  Got to know how to pony.  Like Bony Maronie.  Mash potata, do the alligator.  Put your hand on your hips, yeah.  Let your backbone slip.  Just pitched five innings of no-hit baseball.  No no Nanette.  He’s got Jeff Ruland/Rick Mahorn stuff.  You remember.  McFilthy and McNasty.  Johnny Most style.  His fastball topped out over 100mph at the Athens Olympics.  He’s not afraid to throw that cheese inside either.  I’m looking at you A-Broad.  The best slider in baseball today.  A knee buckling, mind bending, world beating pitch sure to amaze and mystify.  Put those pitches together with a Peteylike change and the demon gyroball, you get half man half incredible.  We needed a guy with experience and stamina.  Well, that’s what we got.  His talent and work ethic are unmatched.  From Sawamura Award to Cy Young Award, D-Mat will deliver.  ”I’ve watched him on video,” said Phillies manager Charlie Manuel, “and with his stuff, he could win 25 games in our league.”  You hear that sports fans?  Huh, did you?  He’s delightful, he’s delicious, he’s  delectable, he’s delirious, he’s de limit, he’s deluxe, he’s de-lovely, he’s D-Nice although he hates to admit it, he’s taking out you suckers and you don’t know how he did it.

Peace out homies.  Sox Two and Even!