Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Do you know what we get to do today Brooks? We get to play baseball! At long last. NLCS starts tonight. Like my main man Earl Weaver always says: No one’s gonna give a damn in July if you lost a game in March. Or October for that matter. That’s why I’m liking the Rockies. Seventeen out of their last eighteen. Roll up, roll up for the magical mystery tour. Step right this way. Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour. The Rockies Magical Mystery tour featuring three of the brightest young stars in the game. There’s a lot of lights out there. It’s very sparkly. Very twinkly. Very sparkly. Looks like a holiday. Looks like a Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP! The best player in this series. His numbers put him near the top of the list of the game’s top players. On top of the world looking down on creation. Holliday led the NL in average. Holliday led the NL in RBIs. Holliday led the NL in doubles. Holliday led the NL in total bases and was fourth in home runs. He will be in the thick of it. The thick of an extremely tight MVP vote. The Rockies also have Troy Trevor Tulowitzki. ROY! ROY! ROY! During the regular season, Tulowitzki batted .291. He batted .291 and set an NL record for rookie shortstops with twenty-four home runs. But he’s not all bat. He’s got glove. What is glove? Oh baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me no more. He’s gonna hurt you some more. Hurt you enough to insert himself into the Gold Glove discussion. And know this sports fans: No rookie at his position has ever won it in either league. Yowza! Then there’s pitcher Jeff Francis. Cy Young! Cy Young! Cy Young! Maybe not, but his brilliant pitching of late is one of the main reasons the Rockies are in the position they are in. In the position of taking National League Pennant. Once again Colorado turns to a skinny Canadian kid to keep the ball rolling. Keep the ball out of controlling. Keep the ball heart and souling. Last week, in the first postseason start of his career, Francis pitched the Rockies to victory over the Philadelphia Phillies. The Fightin’ Phills. This week, he is sprawled all over the cover of Sports Illustrated. It’s the thrill that’ll getcha when you get your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone. Wanna see my picture on the cover. Wanna buy five copies for my mother. Wanna see my smilin’ face on the cover of the Rolling Stone. If things keep going the way they are, Francis may see his smiling face in the World Series. He may see his smiling face there because the Rockies are built to be there. Pitching and defense. Defense and pitching. And, oh ya, they can the ball too. Do you know what we get to do today Brooks? We get to play baseball! And not a moment too soon.
Public Acknowledgements: Denver Post, The Rookie, Beatles, Rain Man, The Carpenters, Haddaway and Dr. Hook
Public Spectacle: Todays episode of Josh Q. Public powered by Coors
Josh Q. Public:Down…The paint is peelin’. Now…When the chips are down. Down…You gotta lose all feelin’. Now…when the chips are down. Down…Your head goes round ‘n’ round. -Terror Squad
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! I love baseball. I never got to bat in the major leagues. I would have liked to have had that chance. Just once. To stare down a big league pitcher. To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink. Make him think you know something he doesn’t. That’s what I wish for. Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it. To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball. To run the bases - stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag. That’s my wish, Ray Kinsella. That’s my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true? Yes there is, Archie. Yes there is. The 200 men representing eight cities will create enough magic to make all our dreams true. MLB baseball. MLB Playoff baseball. It’s why we hung around so long. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: There’s a long drive… It’s gonna be, I believe….. The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! WAHOO! Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck, of the left field stands! The Giants win the pennant, and they’re goin’ crazy! They’re goin’ crazy! Heeeey-oh! We hung around so long to hear stuff like: Deep to left! Yastrzemski will not get it — it’s a home run! A three-run home run for Bucky Dent and the Yankees now lead by the score of 3-2! Bucky Dent has just hit his fourth home run of the year and look at that Yankees bench out to greet him. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight! What kind of stuff are we gonna hear this year?
Rockies Phillies: September 13. The Rockies leave the City Of Brotherly Love after a two game split. Even Steven. Kissing your sister. Yichhh! So, we meet again? Meet again three weeks and two incredible stories later. The Rockies and the Fighting Phills will attempt to prolong their epic dramas in a best-of-five National League Division Series. So what will we hear? Will we hear: Matt Holliday! That ball is going and it ain’t coming back! Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP! Matt Holliday. The hero of the play-in game. The one for everything. For all the marbles. All the starbles. All the Yougoslavian Dinarbles. All the come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles. Matt Holliday capped his superstar season by obliterating twelve years of futility and irrelevancy. Is that what we’ll hear? Or will we hear this: Swing…and a long drive, watch this baby, outta here! Home run. Jimmy Rollins. The real MVP! MVP! MVP! The Mets had a chance to win the World Series last year. Last year is over. I think we are the team to beat in the NL East, finally. Jimmy talked the talk. Jimmy walked the walk. These cleats are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these cleats are gonna walk all over you. I say these cleats walk all over the Rockies.
Diamondbacks Cubs: The Diamondbacks posted the best record in the National League. The Cubs are the team everybody’s pulling for. The Diamondbacks won ninety games. Nobody knows how they expect to compete against the Cubs. That’s why they play the games. So what will it be? Will it be: Long drive…way back…warning track…wall…you can touch em’ all, Jeff Sazlazar. Huh? Jeff Slalazar? Yup. Jeff Salazar. Reserve outfielder Jeff Salazar. Pinch hitting Jeff Salazar. Bernie Carbo style. Jeff Salazar saved the season. Saved the season back on September 10. Scratched from the lineup because of a sore ankle, Salazar came on to deliver a pinch-hit three-run bomb in the ninth inning to give Arizona a 5-3 win at San Francisco. That pinch-hit three-run bomb solidified the season for the Baby Backs. And it’s contributions like that, from everybody, that make these guys what they are. A T-E-A-M. Nine players on the field functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other. Or might we hear this: That ball is driven way back…outta here! Derrek Lee! 2006 was not a very good year for Lee. Broken wrist. Cubs go 19-40 in his absence. His three-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Leber’s congenital amaurosis, a rare genetic disease resulting in loss of vision. This year’s been a lot better. Batted over .400 for most of the first two months of the season. The heart and power of the Cubs line-up. Late season power surge. If Lee gets going, like he was two seasons ago, there’s no one on the other team that can match him. He has the ability to put this team on his back and carry them to the next round by himself. That being said, I like the D-Backs here.
Yankees Indians: Three of the four highest-payroll teams in the American League will be in the playoffs. The fourth playoff team ranks second-to-last in payroll in the AL. That fourth team is the Indians. Don’t get me wrong. I have no problems with spending. None. But What Mark Shapiro did with this team is nothing short of remarkable. Nothing. What will we hear in this one? Will it be this: Swing and a drive, deep to center, a WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back - GONE! Trot Nixon! Yup. Old friend Trot. Bo may know some things. Bo knows this. What? And Bo knows that. What? But Bo don`t know jack, cause Bo can`t rap. Bo may know this and that, but Trot knows the Yankees. For eight years of his career he played against them nineteen times a season as a member of the Red Sox. The Yankees went 6-0 against the Indians during the regular season. Nixon hit .429 against them. Something to think about. Or will we hear this: Swung on and there it goes! That ball is high! It is far! It is…Gone! An A-Bomb. From A-Broad! A-Broad’s Yankees legacy depends on it. He was the man during the regular season. A rock at third base. A nightmare in the heart of the New York order. But if he does nothing in this post-season, none of it matters. You saw what happened last fall. Last fall, Rodriguez stumbled and bumbled through the division series against Detroit. Stumbled and bumbled and got dropped in the order. I don’t see that happening this year. I don’t see the Yankees winning either.
Red Sox Angels: Saving the best for last. Last year, no soup for us! This year, I couldn’t be happier. But happy doesn’t pay the piper. Happy doesn’t feed the baby. Happy doesn’t walk the dog. The Sox went wire to wire in the division. We need them to go wire to wire in the post season. Anything else is failure. We need to hear: …swing and there it goes…light tower power for Manny Ramirez! We need Manny to be Manny. We know what Big Papi will do. What Big Papi always does. But we need Manny. He is a difference maker. An earth quaker. A pitcher shaker. We need him, and I think we’ll get him. I don’t need to hear this: And the halo shines tonight! Oh my! I don’t need to see Vladdy shine tonight or any other night. He strikes fear in the heart of men. Strikes fear in every part of men. Strikes fear in the Rene Descartes of men. I’m hoping against hope fear strikes out. I’m hoping he is as ####ed up as I hope he is. I’m picking the Sox. Anything else would be blasphemy.
Public Acknowledgements: Field of Dreams, Russ Hodges, Bill White, Joe Buck, Rocky Mountain News, Jeff Kingery, Clockwork Orange, Harry Kalas, Nancy Sinatra, Greg Schulte, Hoosiers, Len Kasper, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Tom Hamilton, Tribe Called Quest, John Sterling, Jerry Trupiano, #### Enberg and Jimmy Piersall
Josh Q. Public:And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high. I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky. I know he’d be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly. Rocky Mountain high. -John Denver
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Lookie, lookie here. The Colorado Rockies. Not the Wilf Paiement Rockies. Not the Chico Resch Rockies. We’re not talking hockey. We’re talking baseball. Baseball baby. Pennant chase baseball. I believe in the Church of Baseball. The only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball. I believe in the Colorado Rockies. Day in and day out, the Colorado Rockies have been feeding my soul. Got a feeling inside. It’s a certain kind. I feel hot and cold. Yeah, down in my soul, yeah. Yeah, I got a feeling about these Colorado Rockies. And unlike the Who, I can explain. The Rockies are trying to win this thing. Doing everything they can to win this thing. They just won ten straight. Won a franchise-record ten straight to keep themselves tied with the Phillies. Tied with the Fighting Phills a mere one game back of the Padres in the Wild Card. But that’s not enough. Not enough stuff. They want it all. They want the Marshmallow Fluff. Don’t look now, but the Rockies are just two little games behind the D-Backs for the West lead. Oh my! The Rockies have been to the playoffs just once in their 15 years of existence. As the Wild Card in 1995. The Larry Walker Rockies. The Dante Bichette Rockies. The Big Cat Rockies. These 2007 Rockies are a new breed. Dig the new breed. Dig Beltin‘ Todd Helton. Beautiful swing. Will the Thrill swing. It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing. Know this: Without Beltin’ Todd Helton’s walkoff home run nine days ago, there is no winning streak. In September, he has batted .402 with 18 RBIs. Yowza! Dig Troy Trevor Tulowitzki. Triple play Troy Trevor Tulowitzki. Tu-lo-git. Tu-lo-git to quit. Rookie Sensation. Scaring the nation with his guns and ammunition. NL Rookie of the Month for August. Gold Glove candidate. Leads all rookies in runs, RBIs and total bases. Dig Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP!Tough guy Matt Holliday. I am a tuh tuh tuh tuh tough tough guy. Halo round my head to tough to die. Strained left oblique muscle. Strained left oblique muscle during the last week of a stretch of eleven home runs in thirteen games. He hasn’t got time for the pain. Dig the Rockies defense. On their way to the highest fielding percentage in major-league history. Goodness! If you saw Tuesday’s night’s Web Gems, you know what I’m talking about Willis. Down 6-5. Andre Ethier. Flyball. Deep center. Cory Sullivan makes the grab. Rockets the ball to the plate. Yorvit Torrealba blocks home plate. Tom Nalen style. Jeff Kent. Yerrrr out! Double play. How about that? How about this? How bout the Rockies bullpen? The Rockies wouldn’t be in this playoff race without the bullpen’s finishing kick. He punches like a #### mule kicks. Entering Wednesday, Colorado’s relievers had a 2.86 ERA during the streak. Jeremy Affeldt, Brian Fuentes and Manny Corpas have been pitching out of their minds. Make no mistakes sports fans, these Colorado Rockies are for real. Four games remain. God, I love this game.
Public Acknowledgements: Denver Post, Bull Durham, The Jam, Cab Calloway, The Clash, Ramones, Carly Simon, Different Strokes, Mel Allen and Mike Tyson
Josh Q. Public: I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. -Winston Churchill
1. When my fantasy baseball draft comes around, I’m picking D-Nice. Gy-Ro-Mite! I may even pick him too early. I don’t care. I haven’t been this excited about every fifth day since Pedro left town.
2. More Sox talk? Sure, why not. Beltin’ Todd Helton. Hasn’t been beltin’ for a couple of years now. My first thought goes to steroids. It’s just gross that’s the way we have to think now. Just like it’s gross every time there’s a power outage or gas truck explosion we think terrorism. Oops. Just got political. Sorry folks. Todd Helton. That’s a lot of lefties, no? Papi, Drew and Helton. I don’t care. I like it. A batting order with David Ortiz, Manny, J.D. Drew and Helton. Goodness.
3. The Super Bowl is getting closer and closer. I find myself caring less and less. Is that wrong? Tell me there’s gonna be some Terrible Terry Tate commercials and maybe I’ll start to care a little more.
4. When is the Shield coming back on? C’mon guys, the joke is over. We’ll be good.
5. Vee Dot Carter. Finally playing harder. Competition is nada. Filled it up for forty on Saturday. Twenty in the fourth. Nets end their record tying, three game, lose by one point, on the other guy’s last possession streak. Carter just had thirty-three versus the Clips and a career high thirteen assists against the Wiz. Nobody beats the Wiz. Nobody.
6. Stanford bears down. Bears down to beat the number three UCLA Bruins. Maybe its because I’m an East Coast guy. I dunno. I never believed in UCLA from the giddy-up. As good as Arron Aflallo is, I just don’t see it.
7. Seven-time Cy Young winner Roger Clemens isn’t prepared to say whether he’ll be back for another season. Here we go. Here we go again. Here comes the Roger Clemens dog and pony show. The Roger Clemens dog and pony show coming soon to a town near you. Between him and Ted Stroehmann’s boy Brett Favre, I’ve just about had enough.
8. I know I’m gonna get killed on this one but, the Tiger and Federer stories don’t move me. Don’t groove me. Don’t J-Schmoove me. I understand they may be the most dominating athletes out there, but I’m just not feeling the country club sports. Never have. I need action. I need action for my satisfaction.
9. Here keep coming the Suns. Again and again and again. The Suns defeated the Cavs 115-100 on Sunday for their 33rd win in their past 35 games. Only three other teams in NBA history went 33-2 over a 35-game span in one season: the Kobe and Shaq’s Lakers in 2000; Michael and the Jordanaires in 1995-96; and Jerry West, Wilt Chamberlain and Elgin Baylor of the ‘72 Lakers. How did that ‘72 Laker team ever lose?
10. Here you go Dusty. The Mamba scored six of the Lakers’ 14 points in overtime against the Spurs. He now has accounted for a total of 50 of his team’s 106 points in OT this season. The Lakers have 38 games to play this season, but number twenty-four has already scored more OT points than any other player in any season since Fab Fiver Jalen Rose tallied 51 points in overtime in 2000-01.
josh q. public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you’re reading more than one. Good to the last drop!
It won’t slow you down.
the top of the list of the game’s top players. On top of the world looking down on creation. Holliday led the NL in average. Holliday led the NL in RBIs. Holliday led the NL in doubles. Holliday led the NL in total bases and was fourth in home runs. He will be in the thick of it. The thick of an extremely tight MVP vote. The Rockies also have Troy Trevor Tulowitzki. ROY! ROY! ROY! During the regular season, Tulowitzki batted .291. He batted .291 and set an NL record for rookie shortstops with twenty-four home runs. But he’s not all bat. He’s got glove. What is glove? Oh baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me no more. He’s gonna hurt you some more. Hurt you enough to insert himself into the Gold Glove discussion. And know this sports 
fans: No rookie at his position has ever won it in either league. Yowza! Then there’s pitcher Jeff Francis. Cy Young! Cy Young! Cy Young! Maybe not, but his brilliant pitching of late is one of the main reasons the Rockies are in the position they are in. In the position of taking National League Pennant. Once again Colorado turns to a skinny Canadian kid to keep the ball rolling. Keep the ball out of controlling. Keep the ball heart and souling. Last week, in the first postseason start of his career, Francis pitched the Rockies to victory over the Philadelphia Phillies. The Fightin’ Phills. This week, he is sprawled all over the cover of Sports Illustrated. It’s the thrill that’ll getcha when you get 
your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone. Wanna see my picture on the cover. Wanna buy five copies for my mother. Wanna see my smilin’ face on the cover of the Rolling Stone. If things keep going the way they are, Francis may see his smiling face in the World Series. He may see his smiling face there because the Rockies are built to be there. Pitching and defense. Defense and pitching. And, oh ya, they can the ball too. Do you know what we get to do today Brooks? We get to play baseball! And not a moment too soon. 
Kinsella. That’s my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true? Yes there is, Archie. Yes there is. The 200 men representing eight cities will create enough magic to make all our dreams true. MLB baseball. MLB Playoff baseball. It’s why we hung around so long. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: There’s a long drive… It’s gonna be, I believe….. The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! WAHOO! Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck, of the left field stands! The Giants win the pennant, and they’re goin’ crazy! They’re goin’ crazy! Heeeey-oh! We hung around so long to hear stuff like: 
Deep to left! Yastrzemski will not get it — it’s a home run! A three-run home run for Bucky Dent and the Yankees now lead by the score of 3-2! Bucky Dent has just hit his fourth home run of the year and look at that Yankees bench out to greet him. We hung around so long to hear stuff like: Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight! What kind of stuff are we gonna hear this year?
Rockies Phillies: September 13. The Rockies leave the City Of Brotherly Love after a two game split. Even Steven. Kissing your sister. Yichhh! So, we meet again? Meet again three weeks and two incredible stories later. The Rockies and the Fighting Phills will attempt to prolong their epic dramas in a best-of-five National League Division Series. So what will we hear? Will we hear: Matt Holliday! That ball is going and it ain’t coming back! Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP! Matt Holliday. The hero of the play-in game. The one for everything. For all the marbles. All the starbles. All the Yougoslavian Dinarbles. All the come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles. Matt Holliday capped his superstar season by 
obliterating twelve years of futility and irrelevancy. Is that what we’ll hear? Or will we hear this: Swing…and a long drive, watch this baby, outta here! Home run. Jimmy Rollins. The real MVP! MVP! MVP! The Mets had a chance to win the World Series last year. Last year is over. I think we are the team to beat in the NL East, finally. Jimmy talked the talk. Jimmy walked the walk. These cleats are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these cleats are gonna walk all over you. I say these cleats walk all over the Rockies.
Diamondbacks Cubs: The Diamondbacks posted the best record in the National League. The Cubs are the team everybody’s pulling for. The Diamondbacks won ninety games. Nobody knows how they expect to compete against the Cubs. That’s why they play the games. So what will it be? Will it be: Long drive…way back…warning track…wall…you can touch em’ all, Jeff Sazlazar. Huh? Jeff Slalazar? Yup. Jeff Salazar. Reserve outfielder Jeff Salazar. Pinch hitting Jeff Salazar. Bernie Carbo style. Jeff Salazar saved the season. Saved the season back on September 10. Scratched from the lineup because of a sore ankle, Salazar came on to deliver a pinch-hit three-run bomb in the ninth inning to give Arizona a 5-3 win at San Francisco. That pinch-hit three-run bomb solidified the season for the Baby Backs. And it’s 
contributions like that, from everybody, that make these guys what they are. A T-E-A-M. Nine players on the field functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other. Or might we hear this: That ball is driven way back…outta here! Derrek Lee! 2006 was not a very good year for Lee. Broken wrist. Cubs go 19-40 in his absence. His three-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Leber’s congenital amaurosis, a rare genetic disease resulting in loss of vision. This year’s been a lot better. Batted over .400 for most of the first two months of the season. The heart and power of the Cubs line-up. Late season power surge. If Lee gets going, like he was two seasons ago, there’s no one on the other team that can match him. He has the ability to put this team on his back and carry them to the next round by himself. That being said, I like the D-Backs here. 
Yankees Indians: Three of the four highest-payroll teams in the American League will be in the playoffs. The fourth playoff team ranks second-to-last in payroll in the AL. That fourth team is the Indians. Don’t get me wrong. I have no problems with spending. None. But What Mark Shapiro did with this team is nothing short of remarkable. Nothing. What will we hear in this one? Will it be this: Swing and a drive, deep to center, a WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back - GONE! Trot Nixon! Yup. Old friend Trot. Bo may know some things. Bo knows this. What? And Bo knows that. What? But Bo don`t know jack, cause Bo can`t rap. Bo may know this and that, but Trot knows the Yankees. For eight years of his career he played against them nineteen times a season as a member of the Red Sox. The Yankees went 6-0 
against the Indians during the regular season. Nixon hit .429 against them. Something to think about. Or will we hear this: Swung on and there it goes! That ball is high! It is far! It is…Gone! An A-Bomb. From A-Broad! A-Broad’s Yankees legacy depends on it. He was the man during the regular season. A rock at third base. A nightmare in the heart of the New York order. But if he does nothing in this post-season, none of it matters. You saw what happened last fall. Last fall, Rodriguez stumbled and bumbled through the division series against Detroit. Stumbled and bumbled and got dropped in the order. I don’t see that happening this year. I don’t see the Yankees winning either.
Red Sox Angels: Saving the best for last. Last year, no soup for us! This year, I couldn’t be happier. But happy doesn’t pay the piper. Happy doesn’t feed the baby. Happy doesn’t walk the dog. The Sox went wire to wire in the division. We need them to go wire to wire in the post season. Anything else is failure. We need to hear: …swing and there it goes…light tower power for Manny Ramirez! We need Manny to be Manny. We know what Big Papi will do. What Big Papi always does. But we need Manny. He is a difference maker. An earth quaker. A pitcher shaker. We need him, and I think we’ll get him. I don’t need to hear 
this: And the halo shines tonight! Oh my! I don’t need to see Vladdy shine tonight or any other night. He strikes fear in the heart of men. Strikes fear in every part of men. Strikes fear in the Rene Descartes of men. I’m hoping against hope fear strikes out. I’m hoping he is as 
Colorado Rockies. And unlike the Who, I can explain. The Rockies are trying to win this thing. Doing everything they can to win this thing. They just won ten straight. Won a franchise-record ten straight to keep themselves tied with the Phillies. Tied with the Fighting Phills a mere one game back of the Padres in the Wild Card. But that’s not enough. Not enough stuff. They want it all. They want the Marshmallow Fluff. Don’t look now, but the Rockies are just two little games behind the D-Backs for the West lead. Oh my! The Rockies have been to the playoffs just once in their 15 years of existence. As the Wild Card in 1995. The Larry Walker Rockies. The Dante Bichette Rockies. The Big Cat Rockies. These 
2007 Rockies are a new breed. Dig the new breed. Dig Beltin‘ Todd Helton. Beautiful swing. Will the Thrill swing. It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing. Know this: Without Beltin’ Todd Helton’s walkoff home run nine days ago, there is no winning streak. In September, he has batted .402 with 18 RBIs. Yowza! Dig Troy Trevor Tulowitzki. Triple play Troy Trevor Tulowitzki. Tu-lo-git. Tu-lo-git to quit. Rookie Sensation. Scaring the nation with his guns and ammunition. NL Rookie of the Month for August. Gold Glove candidate. Leads all rookies in runs, RBIs and total bases. Dig Matt Holliday. MVP! MVP! MVP! Tough guy Matt Holliday. I am a tuh tuh tuh tuh tough tough guy. Halo round my head to tough to die. Strained left oblique muscle. Strained left oblique muscle during the last week of a stretch of eleven home runs in thirteen games. He hasn’t got time for the pain. Dig the Rockies defense. On their way to the highest fielding percentage in major-league history. Goodness! If you saw Tuesday’s night’s Web Gems, you know what I’m talking about Willis. Down 6-5. Andre Ethier. Flyball. Deep center. Cory Sullivan makes the grab. Rockets the ball to the plate. Yorvit Torrealba blocks 
home plate. Tom Nalen style. Jeff Kent. Yerrrr out! Double play. How about that? How about this? How bout the Rockies bullpen? The Rockies wouldn’t be in this playoff race without the bullpen’s finishing kick. He punches like a 
2. More Sox talk? Sure, why not. Beltin’ Todd Helton. Hasn’t been beltin’ for a couple of years now. My first thought goes to steroids. It’s just gross that’s the way we have to think now. Just like it’s gross every time there’s a power outage or gas truck explosion we think terrorism. Oops. Just got political. Sorry folks. Todd Helton. That’s a lot of lefties, no? Papi, Drew and Helton. I don’t care. I like it. A batting order with David Ortiz, Manny, J.D. Drew and Helton. Goodness.
forty on Saturday. Twenty in the fourth. Nets end their record tying, three game, lose by one point, on the other guy’s last possession streak. Carter just had thirty-three versus the Clips and a career high thirteen assists against the Wiz. Nobody beats the Wiz. Nobody.
7. Seven-time Cy Young winner Roger Clemens isn’t prepared to say whether he’ll be back for another season. Here we go. Here we go again. Here comes the Roger Clemens dog and pony show. The Roger Clemens dog and pony show coming soon to a town near you. Between him and Ted Stroehmann’s boy Brett Favre, I’ve just about had enough. 
10. Here you go Dusty. The Mamba scored six of the Lakers’ 14 points in overtime against the Spurs. He now has accounted for a total of 50 of his team’s 106 points in OT this season. The Lakers have 38 games to play this season, but number twenty-four has already scored more OT points than any other player in any season since Fab Fiver Jalen Rose tallied 51 points in overtime in 2000-01.
