Josh Q. Public:In every class, there’s always one joker who thinks that he’s smarter than me. In this class, that happens to be you. Isn’t it, Mayonnaise? -Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! By now you know. You know about OJ Mayo. You know about Mayo’s past antics in high school. You know Mayo quit USC after only one season. You know Mayo is projected to be a lottery pick in this year’s NBA draft. What does he care? What does he care that the dust still hasn’t even settled on the Reggie Bush fiasco yet? USC is cloaked in shame. Shame, I tell you! You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself. You know. And you feel shame. You know. And then you get free. It’s gonna be more than two minutes for this one. More than two minutes unless USC does the right thing here. More than two minutes unless USC fires Tim Floyd. Unless they fire Pete Carroll. Unles they fire Mike Garrett. Sue you. Sue everybody. And the people you work with and you handle, I will probably sue them too. Fire everybody. Make a clean start. That’s what I’d do. But who am I? I’m no Frank Rizzo.
Public Acknowledgements: Dennis Lemieux and the Jerky Boys
While we enjoy the Madness, let’s take a moment to reflect on the greatest college basketball team of all time. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the best college basketball team I’ve ever seen. The best college basketball team there’s ever been. Better than Mean Joe Greene. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the 1990 UNLV Running Rebels:
Josh Q. Public:All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. -Galileo
Public Service Announcement: Here it comes! Here comes the Madness. March Madness. And look at me. Look at me without a team. Me, without a horse in this race. Blue Moon. You saw me standing alone. Without a dream in my heart. Without a love of my own. So sad. I need me a bandwagon. Like my main man Dan Rice. #### tastes def when you pour it on ice. Come on y’all it’s time to get nice. I gotta get nice. But with who? Gotta have a shot to win it all. I love Davidson. I love Stephen Curry. But they don’t have a shot at the big enchilada. Neither does Drake. Can’t be too good either. Can’t be that juggernaut Memphis. That sluggernaut, Memphis. That punch you in your muggernaut, Memphis. Not UCLA. Not the Big Bad Bruins. Not them. No, someone a little more subtle. Not too subtle. I like my jelly to jiggle if I’m not being too subtle. I’m going with Xavier. The Xavier Musketeers. All for one and one for all. Their jelly jiggles. Jiggle it just a little bit. I wanna see you jiggle it just a little bit. As it grooves. Their jelly just jiggled itself en route to its best season in school history. Their jelly just jiggled itself enroute to its third straight 20-win season and third consecutive NCAA tournament bid. I like these guys. I like these guys because they play defense. Defense wins championships. I like their seniors. I like Drew Lavender. I like Josh Duncan. I like Stanley Burrell. I like them to redeem themselves. To redeem themselves for the Temple loss this year. To redeem themselves for the most heartbreaking loss in school history one year ago. One year ago when the Musketeers couldn’t close out Ohio State in the second round. Like Marvin Hagler couldn’t close out Sugar Ray in the ninth. One year ago when Justin Cage missed the second of his two free throws in the closing seconds of regulation. One year ago when the Buckeyes made a threecola at the buzzer, then went on to win 78-71 in overtime. This team can do that. They can redeem themselves. They can do it in this here tournmaent. Six of Xavier’s wins came against NCAA Tournament teams. Five of them out of conference. While a nation is rooting for the Georgia Bulldogs, I’ll be rooting for the other guys. I’ll be rooting for Xavier.
Public Acknowledgements: Mel Torme, Beastie Boys, Bringing Down the House and 2 In A Room
Josh Q. Public: Well I don’t know where they come from, but they sure do come. I hope they comin’ for me. And I don’t know how they do it, but they sure do it good. I hope they doin’ it for free. They give me cat scratch fever. Cat scratch fever. -Ted Nugent
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Here comes the madness. March Madness. Madness, madness, they call it madness. Well if this is madness, then I know I’m filled with gladness. It’s gonna be rougher. It’s gonna be tougher. And I won’t be the one who’s gonna suffer. No, I won’t suffer, but some other folks might. Some higher seeds might. Some esteemed bracketologists might. Anybody who overlooks these Davidson Wildcats might. Those folks there might because this Davidson basketball team’s got cat class and they got cat style. The Davidson Wildcats find themselves before the threshold of excellence. By opening up a can on UNC Greensboro in the Southern Conference semis last night, Davidson just extended the nation’s longest winning streak to twenty-one. Look for it to be twenty-two tonight. Twenty-two skidoo tonight. Twenty-two skidoo tonight after the finals. The Davidson Wildcats are ranked twenty-fifth in the nation. The Davidson Wildcats have won 35 straight conference games. There’s a reason for that. They’re good. Real good. Stephen Curry is good. Real good. Davidson guard Stephen Curry is the Southern Conference’s Player of the Year. He’s a sharpshooter. The rootinest, tootinest sum#### with a six-shooter you ever did see. The son of another rootin tootin sum####. The son of Dell Curry. The son of Dell Curry is a difference maker. Wofford coach Mike Young believes: “It would be rare against anybody, with the exception of a few top-ranked teams, for Davidson not to have the best player on the floor.” Yowza! He’s that good. But Curry doesn’t do it alone. No, Kimosabe. He has somebody getting him the rock. He has Jason Richards getting him the rock. He has the leading assist man in the entire nation getting him the rock. Jason Richards’ ball handling skills are second to none. Jenna Jameson’s got nothing on him. Richards has an uncanny knack for finding Curry. And Curry can finish from anywhere. Anywhere! Coach Bob McKillop has the Wildcats playing team basketball. Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team. No one more important that the other. Coach Bob McKillop has them playing them playing defense. Smothering defense. Asphyxiating defense. Suffocating defense. Last night, the Wildcats effectively squelched Kyle Hines. Kyle Hines, UNC Greensboro’s senior leader. Kyke Hines, the SoCon’s top post player. Squelched Kyle Hines and moved on to the finals. Next up, the madness. Can they be this year’s George Mason? You betcha! They’re the chief, they’re the king, but above everything, they’re the most tip top, Top Cats!
Public Acknowledgements: Madness, Stray Cats, Yosemite Sam, Charlotte Observer, Hoosiers, Tonto and Officer Dibble
Josh Q. Public:I won’t fail. I won’t flop. Stall or stutter, yes I won’t stop. It takes hard work, to be like this. You should know, ’cause I’m a perfectionist. -Run DMC
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Salvador Dali says: “Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.” Salvador Dali has never seen Bentley Basketball. Bentley Basketball doesn’t fear perfection. Bentley Basketball is reaching it. I know it sounds crazy, but it fits perfect. Peter perfect pimped a perfect Peter. Bentley Basketball pimped a perfect peter. Pimped a perfect Peter with their 85-65 win over St. Michael’s tonight. Bentley Basketball pimped a perfect Peter setting an NCAA Division II record. Bentley Basketball pimped a perfect Peter with its 53rd consecutive regular-season victory. How about that? How about this: The Bentley Falcons, the pride of Waltham, Mass, the top-ranked team in Division II, has not lost a regular-season game since falling to Bryant in double overtime 88-78 on Feb. 18, 2006. Yowza! The Bentley Falcons, the pride of Waltham, Mass, the top-ranked team in Division II just broke a record that has stood for sixty years. Congratulations Bentley, this Bud’s for you!
Josh Q. Public: How do you like me now? Now that I’m on my way? Do you still think I’m crazy standing here today? -Toby Keith
Public Service Announcement: Ok here we go! Orlando Smith. “Tubby” The man who once led Kentucky to 263 Wildcat victories. The man who once led Kentucky to five SEC titles. The man who once led Kentucky to one National Championship. That man. That man’s at it again. He’s in Minnesota now. Minnihaha. Land of 10,000 lakes. The Golden Gophers. Minnesota, hats off to thee! To thy colors true we shall ever be. Firm and strong, united are we. Yeaaaaaaah Gophers! The 10-3 Golden Gophers. The team to beat in the Big Ten. Frenetic basketball. Frenzied basketball. Fast basketball. Furious basketball. Tubby Smith basketball. Yes, they already lost to Michigan State. But everything’s coming up roses at Williams Arena. That lucky star I talk about is due! Honey, everything’s coming up roses for me and for you! Not so much at Rupp. They chased Tubby out. Now look. Take a look at me now, oh there’s just an empty space. And there’s nothing left here to remind me. Nothing left here to remind me of Tubby and those winning Wildcat ways. Kentucky under Billy Gillispie is 6-7. Ouch! Kentucky under Billy Gillispie has one win against teams with a winning record. Ouch! The Kentucky Basketball team under Billy Gillispie continues to struggle and are fresh off a home loss to hated Louisville. Ouch! Not so many ouches in Minnesota. The Golden Gophers just shut down Northwestern. Shut down Northwestern and their puzzling three-game winning streak at Williams. In the coming weeks, Minnesota takes on PennState, Indiana, Michigan State and Ohio State. In the coming weeks, Minnesota and Tubby will be back on the map. The same said map Kentucky and Billy Gillispie have fallen off of.
Public Acknowledgements: Chicago Tribune, Ethel Merman and Phil Collins
Josh Q. Public:You upset me baby, upset me baby. Like being hit by a falling tree. Woman, what you do to me. -BB King
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Just a short one today. Just a short one from the basketball court one today. Butler Basketball. Butler Bulldog Basketball. Can they do this? Do they have a shot? Just what makes that little old ant think he’ll move that rubber tree plant. Anyone knows an ant can’t, move a rubber tree plant. But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes. He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes. In the land of the chalk, the Butler Bulldogs have high hopes. No one can make this ram scram. Couldn’t make ‘em scram from the Pre-Season NIT. In the pre-season NIT, the Bulldogs high hoped Notre Dame. They high hoped Indiana. They high hoped Tennessee and Gonzaga. High hoped themselves all the way to the championship. This team has beaten Purdue in the regular season. They made their way into the top ten and have been ranked among the nation’s top twenty teams since November. Beat number four seed Maryland in the tournament. Moving rubber tree plants left and right. These guys are outta sight. They face the biggest of rubber tree plants tonight.
AJ Graves has high hopes. “That’s fine. They didn’t say we’d win versus Maryland either.” He’s not gettin’ low. He’s not lettin’ go. Why should he? MVP of the NIT Season Tip-Off, he’s the Jimmy Chitwood of this dance. He’s a dancin’ fool. Dancin’ like those other old fools, Emmit, Jerry and Clyde the Glide. Like Myra Fleener always says: ” He’s a real special kid and, and I have high hopes for him.” This kid can shoot. Shoot the lights out. Shot the lights against Old Dominion. Shot the lights out against Maryland. He’s gonna have to shoot the lights again tonight against the Gators if Butler wants to take this thing. If they really want that brass ring. If they really wanna be all that and a chicken wing. I’ve seen you guys can shoot but there’s more to the game than shooting. There’s fundamentals and defense. Welcome to Indiana Basketball. Butler Bulldog basketball. Disciplined basketball. Mike Green is disciplined. He has high hopes. High apple pie in the sky hopes. He was disciplined enough to take the Horizon League’s Newcomer of the Year Award. Disciplined enough to finish as the team’s leading rebounder. As a six foot guard. Disciplined enough to finish as the team’s second-leading scorer. Second team All-League. Playing relentless defense. Dogged defense. Bull Dogged defense. Played Bull Dogged defense against ODU. His Bull Dogged defense along with Graves’ shooting, just shut down the vaunted ODU offense. Shut ‘em down, shut ‘em, shut ‘em down. Public Enemy style. Brandon Crone has high hopes. He’s not feelin’ bad. He’s not feelin’ sad. He’s a Two-time All-State baller from Indiana’s own Frankfort High. Get the papers, get the papers. He set school records for career scoring and rebounding. He was MVP. of the state AAU tournament, which his team won. He was voted Butler’s captain as a sophomore. He had a 27-point outburst in a game against Ohio State last season. But what this guy does. What this guy does all the time is: Go out and get his ten to fifteen points a game. Go out and get his four to seven boards. Play Bull Dogged defense. Play Butler Bull Dogged defense. For Butler to win tonight, they’re going to have to continue that Bull Dogged defense. They’re going to have to continue to hit the threes. The magic number. Don’t forget, Butler set a Horizon League record by making 314 from beyond the arc. They scored thirty-six of their sixty-two points on Downtown Freddie Browns against the Terps. So they can do this. Like they always knew this. They’re playing the defending National Champions tonight. They’re playing the number one seed in the NCAA Tournament tonight. But, all those problems just a toy balloon. They’ll be bursted soon. They’re just bound to go pop. Oops there goes another problem kerplop. Butler Bulldogs Basketball, ladies and gentlemen. Butler Bulldogs basketball.
Josh Q. Public:Disconnect the telephone line. Relax baby and draw that blind. Kick off your shoes and sit right down. Loosen up that frilly French gown. Tonight’s the night. It’s gonna be all right. -Rod Stewart
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go, Daddy-O! Let’s get ready for the show. You know I like O-hi-o. I like the Gigantic-O. Like him more than Adrian Barbeau. March Madness is here. This is it. Make no mistake where you are. This is it. Your backs to the corner. This is it. The waiting is over. No room to run. No way to hide. No time for wondering why. It’s here. Kenny Loggins style. Yup this is it. It’s here. Whodoyagot? Whosdoyagot? Do you got Florida? Repeat? Very difficult. The Gators have taken some bumps. The Gators have taken some bruises. They just lost three of five. Just like last year. You saw what they did last year. Can they do it again this year? You got On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin? You like ’em after the OSU loss? You like ‘em after losing big man Brian Butch to a dislocated elbow. You better like Tucker. Tucker the chucker. Tucker the delivery trucker. Cause that’s what you’re gonna get. Tucker, Tucker, and more Tucker. You got the Ducks? Here I come to save the day! Are little man Tajuan Porter and big man, Maarty Leunen enough. Will Tajuan Porter stay giddy in the zone? Can Aaron Brooks stay clutch? Can they hang tough. What about the Terps? You got them? You fear the Turtle? Seven straight in the ACC. Five players averaging in double figures. Darryl Strawberry’s boy. Strawberry has been the Terrapins biggest all-around threat. A triple threat. Triple trouble. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Averaging 15.2 points, 4.3 rebounds, 3.5 assists You got them? I got UNLV going pretty far. Wendell White’s gonna be a star. Maybe Marilyn McCoo thinks, you don’t have to be a star, baby, to be in my show. But she’s wrong. Winthrop? Everybody’s got them. Everybody likes them. When your only losses are to North Carolina, Maryland, Wisconsin and Texas A&M, you have to be liked. Everybody likes that they’ve just won eighteen straight. Everybody thinks they’re gonna be great. ODU? Davidson? The Monarchs and the Wildcats? You got those upset specials? I wish I was special. What the hell am I doin’ here? I don’t belong here. You like Kansas? I like Kansas. I like the Jayhawks. Ath-uh-letes. The Jayhawks are hot. Call the chief ’cause they’re on fire! Brandon Rush. Mario Chalmers. Julian Wright. I like those sophomores. UCLA? You got them? Nobody plays defense like Arron Afflalo. Nobody. But, he better find his daggone jumper.Can they dance without a big rebounder? Pitt Panthers? You sold? I’m not. Soft. Mr. Softie soft. Here comes Mr. Softie, the soft ice cream man. Paper Panthers. They look far better on paper than they do on the court. You got the Salukis? Sure is fun to say, ain’t it? Salukis. Sounds so nice, I said it twice. Fun to say this too: Knock ‘em down. Roll ‘em around. Come on defense work! Defense wins championships. The Salukis play defense. Ease your troubles, that’s what they do. The Dookies? Really? You got them? Good luck. No soup for you. Holy Cross? The Crusaders? I got them. Homer pick all the way. I didn’t get the communique. What’s a Masswhole to say? Another defensive team. Coach Willard has ‘em playing team defense. Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team. No one more important that the other. Here comes Car’lina lina. Here comes Car’lina lina. We hail from NCU! Tyler Hansbrough. Brandan Wright. Ty Lawson. These Heels still make up the nation’s best offensive/defensive balance. They look mighty good. I fear the Hoya. I got the Hoya Paranoia. Oh Boya! Green and Hibbard. Hibbard and Green. Playing like a fine tuned machine. I’m just waiting for Jeff Green to totally bust out. Bustin’ out, everybody come along. He’s gonna dance on the funk and make love on this song. Kyle Weaver and the Washington State Cougars? I’m not biting. Soft as church music. Ya, they play some D, but nope, still not biting. Who’s gonna score on that team? You got Texas? You got Kevin Durant? You should. A game breaker. Heart taker. Championship maker. A.J. Abrams is the best shooter in the tourney not named Chris Lofton. Don’t sleep on DJ Augustin either. How bout USC? Nick Young and the Taj Mahal should take this team far. Baby’s gonna be a star. Baby you can drive my car. Drive it all the way to the Sweet Sixteen. Toot toot ya! The Screamin’ Eagles?Jared Dudley! Jared Dudley! Jared Dudley! For Boston, for Boston! Climb on his back boys and let him take you to the Promised Land. How did Bobby Knight’s team even get in? Quite frankly, they’re an abject disastah. GWU? My dear old alma mata. They could win a couple right? Right? Are you from Belmont? I’m from Belmont. Not the Nashville Belmont. Not the Bruins Belmont. A different Belmont. The Marauders Belmont, but still. Two six foot ten centers can’t hurt. #### Roberts? Hee hee hee ####. The Memphis Tigers? You got them? To me they’re the scariest cats in this thing. Good chance of getting that ring. They got the world on a string. 30-3. I don’t care what conference you come from, that’s impressive. A nation-leading 22-game winning streak. Goodness! Be very, very afraid of these cats. You got the Aggies? Acie Law sure is better than Acie Earl. Ain’t he? Huh, ain’t he? UVA? They got the dynamic duo. Holy horseshoe Batman, with a little luck, Sean Singletary and J.R. Reynolds could surprise some people. A lot of people. With a little luck, we can help it out. We can make this whole damn thing work out. Holy heartbreak. You got the Nevada Wolfpack? Huh, do ya? Nick Fazekasand Co. will be chomping at the bit. Chomping at the bit to show last year’s first-round upset was a fluke. They just got juked. They’ll do better than Duke. Xavier? I got them. I got the Muskateers. M-o-u-s-e! No mice they. Drew Lavender, Stanley Burrell and Justin Doellman got their stuff together just in time to go dancing. Come dancing, come on brother, have yourself a ball. Don’t be afraid to come dancing, it’s only natural. The 49ers of Long Beach State? I’ve got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah. I’ve got a feeling, a feeling I can’t hide, no no. Yeah I’ve got a feeling. This team pushes it. Pushes it real good. I like ‘em. I like ‘em a lot. The Great Danes of Albany? I’ve always liked these guys. Liked them from way back. I like Jamar Wilson. The America East back-to-back MVP. The owner of his school’s career scoring record. Go Danes! Yes sports fans, March Madness is here. Whodoyagot?
Josh Q. Public: Top Cats! The indisputable leaders of the gang. They’re the boss, they’re a pip, they’re the championship. They’re the most tip top, Top Cats! -Hannah/Barbera
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! It’s a coming. March Madness is a coming. Coming out man to man. Nickle and Dimers. Dribble drives. They’re sending it in. Teardrops that’ll make you cry. With a kiss! With authority. With the blow by. All of it. Win or go home. Last year, George Mason didn’t have to go home. Not for a while anyway. Who’s it gonna be this year? Who’s gonna be that Cinderfella? Who’s gonna be raising hella? Playing under that magic spella. Stella!!! Stanley Kowalski style. Is it going to be Drexel? The Dragons had victories over Big East teams Syracuse and Villanova. They had a huge come-from-behind win over Creighton on the road. Speaking of Creighton, is it going to be the Blue Jays? Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to go? Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to roll. What? Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to roll, gettin’ ready to go? George Clinton style. Is it going to be theBelmont Bruins? The Belmont Bruins, out there having fun, in the warm Atlantic Sun. Having fun knocking down twelve of nineteen from downtown in the first half of the Atlantic Sun finals. Finishing the game with fourteen bombs in all. Having fun averaging a league-high nine threes a game. Is it going to be Winthrop? Can the Eagles even be considered a Cinderella? Ranked twenty-third and all? Me, I like Vermont. The Vermont Catamounts. We will tear up our mighty rivals, and pile up score on score. We’re going to fight, fight, fight for old Vermont. For Vermont evermore!
The Catamounts have been fighting for old Vermont for a while now. Tearing all through the America East in style now. Only one conference loss makes you smile now. And I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while now. Tearing through everybody. Vermont has been winning at a staggering rate. They just won thirteen straight. Making folks proud to be from the Green Mountain State. That thirteen in a row is the fifth longest streak in the nation. They’ve also won twenty of their last twenty-one. One more win and they tie the school record for most wins in a season. Playing just like Animal and Hawk. The Road Warriors. Big time win at then number fourteen Boston College. Thirteen straight big time wins on the road. Most consecutive road wins in all the land. Scaring the nation with their guns and ammunition. Scaring the nation with Chris Holm. All 6'-11", 270 pounds of him. Chris Holm, rebounding like a maniac. Like an Animaniac. He’s zany to the max. There’s baloney in his slacks. He’s a rebounding machine. Second in the nation in rebounding. Fourteen double-doubles. Get the papers, get the papers. Mike Trimboli, scaring the nation. He scared Boston College. Seventeen points, eight dimes, six boards and three steals against Boston College. Joe Trapiani’s scaring the nation. America East All-Rookie Team. The kid’s a scorer. The kid’s a scrapper. Think David Lee with an outside touch. He doesn’t miss much. Comes up big in the clutch. So there you have it. The Vermont Catamounts. Your 2007 March Madness Cinderella story. Outta nowhere…It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!
Josh Q. Public: Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Whoa oh oh. -Beatles
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? March Madness is right around the corner and I’ve got that fever. Fever in the morning. Fever all through the night. Call the fire chief cause he’s on fire! Diaper Dandies. PTPers. Maalox Mashers. Dipsy-doo dunkeroo slam-jam-bams. All of it. I love it. It’s awesome baby! We know about Ohio State’s Michael Conley. A pass first point guard. He has range. He is fast. Very fast. We know about Arizona’s Mustafa Shakur. Shakur struggled for three seasons. He ain’t struggling no more. We know about UCLA’s Darren Collison. Darren has poise. He knows when to push it, push it real good. He knows when to slow it down. And, the kid plays defense. We know about Marquette’s Dominic James. Penetration. That’s his game. That’s what lights this Warrior’s flame. Say my name! Reminds me a lot of Sherman Douglas. OG. The original General. We know about Texas A&M’s Acie Law. You saw the Texas game. You saw wgat he he did then. We know about the Tarheels’ Ty Lawson. So far this season, only one player has been able to stop Ty Lawson from scoring. His name is Ty Lawson. We even know about Bama’s Ronald Steele. He’s hurt now, but when he gets back, roll Tide, roll. The guy we don’t know about, is Jared Jordan.
Jared Jordan. Point guard. Marist Red Foxes. Regular season MAAC Champions. Soon to be post season MAAC Champions. Soon to be playing in a regional tournament game near you. Jared leads his team in scoring with eighteen points. Jared leads his team to the top of the conference. Top of the pops. Go tell my mamma and my sister too. To press my trousers and polish my shoes. He led his school to 20 wins for the first time since 1995-96. He’s leading his team to the NCAA Tournament for the first time since 1987. He leads the nation in assists. For the second year in a row! Now you know. An artist like my main man Vincent Van Gough. This kid is putting on a show. He is a finalist for the Bob Cousy Award. The original Houdini of the Hardwood. Not since Rik Smits, the Dunking Dutchman, has the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference been this excited. And they just can’t hide it. His game conjures up images of Jason Kidd. He dominates the ball. He is aggressive. Be aggressive, be be aggressive. Very aggressive. And you dive and you won’t be pushed around. But I raise five thousand. Teddy KGB style. He crashes the glass. He crashes the glass because he knows he has to have the rock in his hands. He has to have the rock in his hands so he can put the rock in his teammates hands. #### Vitale calls him the most underrated play maker in America. I call him the best playmaker in America.
Josh Q. Public:You know that we’re down with wutchyalike. Yeah with wutchyalike. Yeah. And though we’re usually on the serious tip check it out: Tonight we’re gonna flip and trip and let it all hang out tonight. We’re gonna say what we like. -Digital Underground
Public Service Announcement:OK, here we go! Is to too early? Maybe, but I’m getting squirrely. Doing NCAA Basketball like my name was Bobby Hurley. So the ####-chat has begun. March Madness is almost here. The questions are being asked. Who are the contenders? Who are the pretenders? Who are the Cinderallenders? And most importantly, whodayalike? Who’s your daddy? Do you still like Florida? The Gators, fresh off losses to Vandy, LSU and good ole rocky top. Rocky top Tennessee. Can Yannik and Tito’s boys still hold it down? Still go to town. Downtown Freddy Brown. Downtown Julie Brown? Do you like The Ohio State University? The Gigantic-O and company. Seemingly getting better and better with each game. Michael Conley emerging as a premiere floor general. Do you like Georgetown? The beasts of the Big East. TEAM basketball. Coach Norman Dale style. Jeff Green and Roy Hibbert. Hibbert and Green. Green and Hibbert. How bout UCLA? Best of the West. You like them? Can hot point guard Darren Collison keep this up? Is Arron Afflalo the real deal? Do they have the rebounding to get them where they want to go? To win the biggest of shows. On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin. Does the loss to the Buckeyes mean anything? Does the loss of Brian Butch, the team’s leading rebounder mean more? Kansas? This Sherron Collins character sure has come on as a major late-game threat. Before last night, the Jayhawks had won its last six games by an average margin of nearly thirty points. Yowza! Maybe the most unsung team so far. Maybe the most scary team so far. What will the Memphis Tigers do when they see real basketball teams? Is Nick Fazekas enough to carry Nevada? Can you count out Coach K and the Dukies? Coach Pitino and the Cardinals? How bout them Heels? Brandan Wright has scored in double figures in five of his last six games, including a career-high twenty-four against N.C. State on Wednesday. The Salukis? For real? For real, for real? Yes they are. Did you see the Evansville game? Did you see 6-foot-7, 235-pound, Saluki junior Randal Falker steal the show? Steal the show with a career-high thirty points on thirteen of fifteen shooting. Steal the show with a game-high seven rebounds. The Butler Bulldogs? The Maryland Terrapins? Kevin Durant, all by himself? Don’t wanna be all by myself anymore. All by myself. Don’t wanna live all by myself anymore. Don’t worry, you won’t. You’ll be living in the NBA. Marquette? Notre Dame? BC? Want some sleepers? Sure to make the big teams weepers? Jeepers creepers? This year’s George Mason? I’ll give you some. Eastern Tennesssee State. Courtney Pigram: Twenty-nine points, eighteen dimes and grabbed eight boards the other night. Talk about a monster. The Winthrop Eagles. Decimation in the Big South quarters. This team could be Sweet Sixteen bound. Keep flying under the radar and the Eagles are ready to shock the world. Muhammad Ali style. My homer pick? Holy Cross. First, the have to take care of business. First, they have to take care of Bucknell. But once that buffalo soldiering is done, Keith Simmons and defensive dynamo Torey Thomas will make some noise come March. Who do I like? Is that what you’re asking? I’m gonna pick two. Get the papers, get the papers. Is that fair? Do you care. Do I dare? I’m picking Georgetown and the Ohio State University. Kinda like Kansas too. Is that three? Oh well. There I said it. March Madness, whodayalike?
Disclaimer: I wrote this a while back but with the Chief Illiniwek thing, I thought I would repost.
Josh Q. Public: The high-falutin’est, fastest shooin’est, rootin’ tootin’est cowboy you ever saw. -Quick Draw McGraw
Public Service Announcement: Ok here we go! Maybe its because I’m reading Lonesome Dove right now, I dunno. But this interests me. Yesterday I wrote about the petition against the Redskins logo and name. Not being Native American myself, I know I lack sensitivity on the subject. However, I do feel I can tell what’s in good taste. I may not display that here in this space, but that’s another matter. The name Redskins seems distasteful to say the least, but the logo itself does not. Waddya say we take a look at this issue and judge for ourselves. Sounds like fun don’t it. And how! That’s a Three Stooges joke. Not in good taste at all. So without further adieu:
A Tale of three logos:
Chief Wahoo and the Cleveland Indians. Seems open and shut to me. Far beyond bad taste. Downright demeaning. I can’t believe he still exists. Honestly. The team believes that its logo is justified because Chief Wahoo “is not animated or humanized and insensitive themes such as tomahawks, tepees and warriors on horseback are avoided.” Great. We are looking at the same picture right? “The logo is simply a caricature that has enjoyed decades of fan appeal in the Northeast Ohio area.” Hmm, weren’t #### and Aunt Jemimah “simply caricatures that enjoyed decades of fan appeal” to #### everywhere. Chief Wahoo’s gotta go. Frito Bandito style.
Chief Illiniwek and the Illinois Illini. I may be wrong with this one, but to me, it seems quite tasteful. As handsome a logo as there is. The Indian head appears on officially licensed T-shirts and other merchandise only. It does not appear on any team uniforms. That’s a shame. Chief Illiniwek would look great on an orange helmet. Some say the Native American in feathered headdress, “adds to the use of Native American imagery that the broadest range of indigenous tribes and peoples find offensive and insulting. Despite good intentions and best efforts, the stereotyping of Native Americans into narrow images is an undeniable consequence of choosing such names and symbols.” I dunno. I’m OK with this one.
The Southeastern Oklahoma State Savages. For real? For real, for real? Do I even have to comment? The good news is SEOS has changed its name to the Savage Storm, this year! Mighty white of them. How on God’s green earth did they get away with that for so long? The Savages? I have no problem with the Utah Utes, the Florida State Seminoles, Chicago Blackhawks, and names of that ilk. But the Savages? I don’t get it. Anything red should go as well. Redmen. Redskins. Whatever. It’s just wrong. One Native American activist had this to say: “Are we sub-human? Are we inferior to whites? That kind of puts us in a class with all these other mascots. You know, eagles, donkeys and pigs. (Worse yet, Mr. Met) That’s really disrespectful. I’m just wondering, are any of you slightly understanding where we’re coming from?” Not really. The tragedy that befell the Native Americans in this country is barely taught. Along with slavery, it is our shame. If Native Americans are that offended by these names, get rid of them. Who cares? When I was little, UMass were the Red Men. Now they’re the Minutemen. No one even remembers they were the Red Men. No one cares. No one is hurt if the names are changed. Many are hurt if they stay the same. May I suggest….the Aristocrats?
Josh Q. Public: I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. -Steve Miller Band
Public Service Announcement:OK, here we go! What's crack-a-lacking sports fans? For Boston, for Boston, thy glory is our own! For Boston, for Boston, 'tis here that Truth is known. For Boston, for Boston, for Thee and Thine alone. That's right folks. Boston College. The Boston College Eagles. The Sreamin' Eagles. Sreamin' Eagles basketball. Unranked Screamin' Eagles basketball. Unranked, but ahead of them all. Unranked and standing tall. Taller than the great Chinese wall. Standing tall in first place. Boston College, first place in the almighty ACC. In first place convincingly. Playing with tenacity, dignity, unity, electricity, indestructibility. They are a sight to see. You saw them yesterday. You saw them beat Florida State. Beat Florida State with a clutch fifteen-foot jumper with three seconds left on the clock. Put the Seminoles in shock. The Seminoles and their Tomahawk Chop. Florida State has already Tomahawk Chopped Duke, Maryland, Florida and Virginia Tech this year.
The story of the game, as usual, was Jared Dudley. Always studly. Studly in high school. His Horizon High School of San Diego squad won back-to-back California Division IV state titles. He averaged 23 points and 14 rebounds as a senior. Studly in college. A leading candidate for ACC Player of the Year. A scorer. A great scorer. He scores down low. He scores from the outside. He scores from three. He scores with regularity. Averages a cool twenty per game. Good for first in the ACC. Should finish his career with over 2,000 points. But that's not all. He's no one trick pony. Not he. He plays D. Plays it with tenacity. One and a half steals a game. He can rebound. Should finish with close to 1000 boards for his career. Grabbing nine a game. That's good enough for second in the ACC. First in offensive boards. But those are just numbers. BC fans love Jared because he always transcends the stats. Henry David Thoreau style. BC fans love him because his only objective is finding a way to win the game. Like Herm Edwards always says: "You play to win the game!" That's just what Dudley does. He does the little things. Always in full swing. He's all that and a chicken wing. The little things. He makes the release pass-before-the-pass. The pass that does not carry an official assist. He makes the beautiful baseline cut. He takes the charge. He helps to bring the ball up under pressure. He back-taps a rebound to someone else. Yes, sometimes it even has to do with making a basket. A tisket a tasket. It had to with that yesterday. Down four yesterday. 2:48 left yesterday. There's Dudley. He fiddles. He diddles. He puts up the impossible three. The circus three. Drains it. And one! All tied up folks, all tied up! You know the rest. BC. BC goes on to victory. Remains atop the almighty ACC. Thanks to one Jared Dudley.
Josh Q. Public: Man-child, he will make you cry. Man-child, man-child, man-child. He’s the apple of your eye. -Neneh Cherry
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Every time I think about these guys, I feel I have to write about them. I feel it’s my duty. Hah ha ha, doody. The Ohio State University. The Ohio State University Buckeyes. The Ohio State University Buckeyes basketball. Nobody’s doing it better. Nobody does it half as good. Baby, they're the best. Like my main man Larry Legend always says: “I want all of you to know I am winning this thing. Who’s playing for second?” You can UCLA me, you can Florida me, you can try to Butler Bulldog me, heck, you can even Tarheel and featherme, nobody’s beating The Ohio State University Buckeyes for the NCAA Basketball Championship. And I mean nobody. I’d be amazed if they even lose another game. They're putting folks to shame. Say my name. They’ve moved up the polls to number three but they remain number one in my heart. The main reason? You know by now. How many different ways can I say it? Greg Oden. The Man Child. The Beast. The Gigantic-O. There is nobody in the NBA right now I wouldn’t trade to land this guy. Nobody. He is going to win NBA Championship after NBA championship. There is nobody in the college game who can come near him. Nobody. You can Kevin Durant me, I'm still not biting. He completely alters the other team’s game. Not in my hizzy. Striking fear into the hearts of men. Over and over again. Knocking balls into orbit like my main man John Glenn. He is not alone. He does not play in a vacuum. He plays alongside his old high school teammate. Mike Conley Jr. A tough kid who like the Gigantic-O, has grown accustomed to winning. This kid runs the show and can make shots with both hands. He’s got wheels. His father was an Olympian in track. Mike Jr. plays an unselfish game but can fill it up if he has to. This cat is one of the best floor generals to come around in a while. He makes you smile. A Triple threat. Triple trouble. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Then there’s Dunbar’s own Daequan Cook. Good Look Daequan Cook. Put that in your rhyming book. This kid can shoot. His jump shot is pure and he’s got range. He’s athletic and can finish at and above the rim. These three kids along with Ivan Harris, Ron Lewis and Othello Hunter are going to be tough to beat. Tough to unseat. They're a tough cut of meat. Tough as concrete. Can you feel the heat? This team, coached by Thad Matta, Thad Matta, who has coached all of his teams to at least 20 victories, is going to be tough to beat. Impossible to beat. They will tear those meeces to pieces. Make mincemeat out of ‘em. Everybody else is playing for second.
Josh Q. Public:Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives. -James Madison
muggernaut, Memphis. Not UCLA. Not the Big Bad Bruins. Not them. No, someone a little more subtle. Not too subtle. I like my jelly to jiggle if I’m not being too subtle. I’m going with Xavier. The Xavier Musketeers. All for one and one for all. Their jelly jiggles. Jiggle it just a little bit. I wanna see you jiggle it just a little bit. As it grooves. Their jelly just jiggled itself en route to its best season in school history. Their jelly just jiggled itself enroute to its third straight 20-win season and third consecutive NCAA tournament bid. I like these guys. I like these guys because they play defense. Defense wins championships. I like their seniors. I like Drew Lavender. I like Josh Duncan. I like Stanley Burrell. I like them to redeem themselves. To redeem themselves for the Temple loss this year. To redeem themselves for the 
most heartbreaking loss in school history one year ago. One year ago when the Musketeers couldn’t close out Ohio State in the second round. Like Marvin Hagler couldn’t close out Sugar Ray in the ninth. One year ago when Justin Cage missed the second of his two free throws in the closing seconds of regulation. One year ago when the Buckeyes made a threecola at the buzzer, then went on to win 78-71 in overtime. This team can do that. They can redeem themselves. They can do it in this here tournmaent. Six of Xavier’s wins came against NCAA Tournament teams. Five of them out of conference. While a nation is rooting for the Georgia Bulldogs, I’ll be rooting for the other guys. I’ll be rooting for Xavier.
and they got cat style. The Davidson Wildcats find themselves before the threshold of excellence. By opening up a can on UNC Greensboro in the Southern Conference semis last night, Davidson just extended the nation’s longest winning streak to twenty-one. Look for it to be twenty-two tonight. Twenty-two skidoo tonight. Twenty-two skidoo tonight after the finals. The Davidson Wildcats are ranked twenty-fifth in the nation. The Davidson Wildcats have won 35 straight conference games. There’s a reason for that. They’re good. Real good. Stephen Curry is good. Real good. Davidson guard Stephen Curry is the Southern Conference’s Player of the Year. He’s a sharpshooter. The rootinest, tootinest sum
with a six-shooter you ever did see. The son of another rootin tootin sum
Gophers. The team to beat in the Big Ten. Frenetic basketball. Frenzied basketball. Fast basketball. Furious basketball. Tubby Smith basketball. Yes, they already lost to Michigan State. But everything’s coming up roses at Williams Arena. That lucky star I talk about is due! Honey, everything’s coming up roses for me and for you! Not so much at Rupp. They chased Tubby out. Now look. Take a look at me now, oh there’s just an empty space. And there’s nothing left here to remind me. Nothing left here to remind me of Tubby and those winning Wildcat ways. Kentucky under Billy Gillispie is 6-7. Ouch! Kentucky under Billy 
Gillispie has one win against teams with a winning record. Ouch! The Kentucky Basketball team under Billy Gillispie continues to struggle and are fresh off a home loss to hated Louisville. Ouch! Not so many ouches in Minnesota. The Golden Gophers just shut down Northwestern. Shut down Northwestern and their puzzling three-game winning streak at Williams. In the coming weeks, Minnesota takes on Penn State, Indiana, Michigan State and Ohio State. In the coming weeks, Minnesota and Tubby will be back on the map. The same said map Kentucky and Billy Gillispie have fallen off of. 
Bulldogs have high hopes. No one can make this ram scram. Couldn’t make ‘em scram from the Pre-Season NIT. In the pre-season NIT, the Bulldogs high hoped Notre Dame. They high hoped Indiana. They high hoped Tennessee and Gonzaga. High hoped themselves all the way to the championship. This team has beaten Purdue in the regular season. They made their way into the top ten and have been ranked among the nation’s top twenty teams since November. Beat number four seed Maryland in the tournament. Moving rubber tree plants left and right. These guys are outta sight. They face the biggest of rubber tree plants tonight.
gonna have to shoot the lights again tonight against the Gators if Butler wants to take this thing. If they really want that brass ring. If they really wanna be all that and a chicken wing. I’ve seen you guys can shoot but there’s more to the game than shooting. There’s fundamentals and defense. Welcome to Indiana Basketball. Butler Bulldog basketball. Disciplined basketball. Mike Green is disciplined. He has high hopes. High apple pie in the 
sky hopes. He was disciplined enough to take the Horizon League’s Newcomer of the Year Award. Disciplined enough to finish as the team’s leading rebounder. As a six foot guard. Disciplined enough to finish as the team’s second-leading scorer. Second team All-League. Playing relentless defense. Dogged defense. Bull Dogged defense. Played Bull Dogged defense against ODU. His Bull Dogged defense along with Graves’ shooting, just shut down the vaunted ODU offense. Shut ‘em down, shut ‘em, shut ‘em down. Public Enemy style. Brandon Crone has high hopes. He’s not feelin’ bad. He’s not feelin’ sad. He’s a Two-time All-State baller 
from Indiana’s own Frankfort High. Get the papers, get the papers. He set school records for career scoring and rebounding. He was MVP. of the state AAU tournament, which his team won. He was voted Butler’s captain as a sophomore. He had a 27-point outburst in a game against Ohio State last season. But what this guy does. What this guy does all the time is: Go out and get his ten to fifteen points a game. Go out and get his four to seven boards. Play Bull Dogged defense. Play Butler Bull Dogged defense. For Butler to win tonight, they’re going to have to continue that Bull 
Dogged defense. They’re going to have to continue to hit the threes. The magic number. Don’t forget, Butler set a Horizon League record by making 314 from beyond the arc. They scored thirty-six of their sixty-two points on 
here. Whodoyagot? Whosdoyagot? Do you got Florida? Repeat? Very difficult. The Gators have taken some bumps. The Gators have taken some bruises. They just lost three of five. Just like last year. You saw what they did last year. Can they do it again this year? You got On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin? You like ’em after the OSU loss? You like ‘em after losing big man Brian Butch to 
a dislocated elbow. You better like Tucker. Tucker the chucker. Tucker the delivery trucker. Cause that’s what you’re gonna get. Tucker, Tucker, and more Tucker. You got the Ducks? Here I come to save the day! Are little man Tajuan Porter and big man, Maarty Leunen enough. Will Tajuan Porter stay giddy in the zone? Can Aaron Brooks stay clutch? Can they hang tough. What about the Terps? You got them? You fear the Turtle? Seven straight in the ACC. Five players averaging in double figures. Darryl Strawberry’s boy. Strawberry has been the Terrapins biggest all-around threat. A triple threat. Triple trouble. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Averaging 15.2 points, 4.3 rebounds, 3.5 assists You got them? I got UNLV going pretty far. Wendell White’s gonna be a star. 
Maybe Marilyn McCoo thinks, you don’t have to be a star, baby, to be in my show. But she’s wrong. Winthrop? Everybody’s got them. Everybody likes them. When your only losses are to North Carolina, Maryland, Wisconsin and Texas A&M, you have to be liked. Everybody likes that they’ve just won eighteen straight. Everybody thinks they’re gonna be great. ODU? Davidson? The Monarchs and the Wildcats? You got those upset specials? I wish I was special. What the hell am I doin’ here? I don’t belong here. You like Kansas? I like Kansas. I like the Jayhawks. Ath-uh-letes. The Jayhawks are hot. Call the chief ’cause they’re on fire! Brandon Rush. Mario Chalmers. Julian Wright. I like those sophomores. UCLA? You got them? Nobody plays defense like Arron Afflalo. Nobody. But, he better find his daggone jumper. Can they dance without a big rebounder? Pitt 
Panthers? You sold? I’m not. Soft. Mr. Softie soft. Here comes Mr. Softie, the soft ice cream man. Paper Panthers. They look far better on paper than they do on the court. You got the Salukis? Sure is fun to say, ain’t it? Salukis. Sounds so nice, I said it twice. Fun to say this too: Knock ‘em down. Roll ‘em around. Come on defense work! Defense wins championships. The Salukis play defense. Ease your troubles, that’s what they do. The Dookies? Really? You got them? Good luck. No soup for you. Holy Cross? The Crusaders? I got them. Homer pick all the way. I didn’t get the communique. What’s a 
Masswhole to say? Another defensive team. Coach Willard has ‘em playing team defense. Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team. No one more important that the other. Here comes Car’lina lina. Here comes Car’lina lina. We hail from NCU! Tyler Hansbrough. Brandan Wright. Ty Lawson. These Heels still make up the nation’s best offensive/defensive balance. They look mighty good. I fear the Hoya. I got the Hoya Paranoia. Oh Boya! Green and Hibbard. Hibbard and Green. Playing like a fine tuned machine. I’m just waiting for Jeff Green to totally bust out. Bustin’ out, everybody come along. He’s gonna dance on the funk and make love on this song. Kyle 
Weaver and the Washington State Cougars? I’m not biting. Soft as church music. Ya, they play some D, but nope, still not biting. Who’s gonna score on that team? You got Texas? You got Kevin Durant? You should. A game breaker. Heart taker. Championship maker. A.J. Abrams is the best shooter in the tourney not named Chris Lofton. Don’t sleep on DJ Augustin either. How bout USC? Nick Young and the Taj Mahal should take this team far. Baby’s gonna be a star. Baby you can drive my car. Drive it all the way to the Sweet Sixteen. Toot toot ya! The Screamin’ Eagles? Jared Dudley! Jared Dudley! Jared Dudley! For Boston, for Boston! Climb on his back boys and 
let him take you to the Promised Land. How did Bobby Knight’s team even get in? Quite frankly, they’re an abject disastah. GWU? My dear old alma mata. They could win a couple right? Right? Are you from Belmont? I’m from Belmont. Not the Nashville Belmont. Not the Bruins Belmont. A different Belmont. The Marauders Belmont, but still. Two six foot ten centers
can’t hurt. 
and Co. will be chomping at the bit. Chomping at the bit to show last year’s first-round upset was a fluke. They just got juked. They’ll do better than Duke. Xavier? I got them. I got the Muskateers. M-o-u-s-e! No mice they. Drew Lavender, Stanley Burrell and Justin Doellman got their stuff together just in time to go dancing. Come dancing,
hide, no no. Yeah I’ve got a feeling. This team pushes it. Pushes it real good. I like ‘em. I like ‘em a lot. The Great Danes of Albany? I’ve always liked these guys. Liked them from way back. I like Jamar Wilson. The America East back-to-back MVP. The owner of his school’s career scoring record. Go Danes! Yes sports fans, March Madness is here. Whodoyagot?
Stanley Kowalski style. Is it going to be Drexel? The Dragons had victories over Big East teams Syracuse and Villanova. They had a huge come-from-behind win over Creighton on the road. Speaking of Creighton, is it going to be the Blue Jays? Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to go? Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to roll. What? Is Nate Funk gettin’ ready to roll, gettin’ ready to go? George Clinton style. Is it going to be the
Belmont Bruins? The Belmont Bruins, out there having fun, in the warm Atlantic Sun. Having fun knocking down twelve of nineteen from downtown in the first half of the Atlantic Sun finals. Finishing the game with fourteen bombs in all. Having fun averaging a league-high nine threes a game. Is it going to be Winthrop? Can the Eagles even be considered a Cinderella? Ranked twenty-third and all? Me, I like Vermont. The Vermont Catamounts. We will tear up our mighty rivals, and pile up score on score. We’re going to fight, fight, fight for old Vermont. For Vermont evermore!
The Catamounts have been fighting for old Vermont for a while now. Tearing all through the America East in style now. Only one conference loss makes you smile now. And I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while now. Tearing through everybody. Vermont has been winning at a staggering rate. They just won thirteen straight. Making folks proud to be from the Green Mountain State. That thirteen in a row is the fifth longest streak in the nation. They’ve also won twenty of their last twenty-one. One more win and they tie the school record for most wins in a season. 
Playing just like Animal and Hawk. The Road Warriors. Big time win at then number fourteen Boston College. Thirteen straight big time wins on the road. Most consecutive road wins in all the land. Scaring the nation with their guns and ammunition. Scaring the nation with Chris Holm. All 6'-11", 270 pounds of him. Chris Holm, rebounding like a maniac. Like an Animaniac. He’s zany to the max. There’s baloney in his slacks. He’s a rebounding machine. Second in the nation in rebounding. Fourteen double-doubles. Get the papers, get the papers. Mike Trimboli, scaring the nation. He scared Boston College. Seventeen points, eight dimes, six boards and three steals against Boston College. Joe 
Trapiani’s scaring the nation. America East All-Rookie Team. The kid’s a scorer. The kid’s a scrapper. Think David Lee with an outside touch. He doesn’t miss much. Comes up big in the clutch. So there you have it. The Vermont Catamounts. Your 2007 March Madness Cinderella story. Outta nowhere…It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!
struggling no more. We know about UCLA’s Darren Collison. Darren has poise. He knows when to push it, push it real good. He knows when to slow it down. And, the kid plays defense. We know about Marquette’s Dominic James. Penetration. That’s his game. That’s what lights this Warrior’s flame. Say my name! Reminds me a lot of Sherman Douglas. OG. The original General. We know about Texas A&M’s Acie Law. You saw the Texas game. You saw wgat he he did then. We know about the Tarheels’ Ty Lawson. So far this season, only one player has been able to stop Ty Lawson from scoring. His name is Ty Lawson. We even know about Bama’s Ronald Steele. He’s hurt now, but when he gets back, roll Tide, roll. The guy we don’t know about, is Jared Jordan.
Champions. Soon to be post season MAAC Champions. Soon to be playing in a regional tournament game near you. Jared leads his team in scoring with eighteen points. Jared leads his team to the top of the conference. Top of the pops. Go tell my mamma and my sister too. To press my trousers and polish my shoes. He led his school to 20 wins for the first time since 1995-96. He’s leading his team to the NCAA Tournament for the first time since 1987. He leads the nation in assists. For the second year in a row! Now you know. An artist like my main man Vincent Van Gough. This kid is putting on a show. He is a 
finalist for the Bob Cousy Award. The original Houdini of the Hardwood. Not since Rik Smits, the Dunking Dutchman, has the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference been this excited. And they just can’t hide it. His game conjures up images of Jason Kidd. He dominates the ball. He is aggressive. Be aggressive, be be aggressive. Very aggressive. And you dive and you won’t be pushed around. But I raise five thousand. Teddy KGB style. He crashes the glass. He crashes the glass because he knows he has to have the rock in his hands. He has to have the rock in his hands so he can put the rock in his teammates hands. 
down? Still go to town. Downtown Freddy Brown. Downtown Julie Brown? Do you like The Ohio State University? The Gigantic-O and company. Seemingly getting better and better with each game. Michael Conley emerging as a premiere floor general. Do you like Georgetown? The beasts of the Big East. TEAM basketball. Coach Norman Dale style. Jeff Green and Roy Hibbert. Hibbert and Green. Green and Hibbert. How bout UCLA? Best of the West. You like them? Can hot point guard Darren Collison keep this up? Is Arron Afflalo the real deal? Do they 
have the rebounding to get them where they want to go? To win the biggest of shows. On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin. Does the loss to the Buckeyes mean anything? Does the loss of Brian Butch, the team’s leading rebounder mean more? Kansas? This Sherron Collins character sure has come on as a major late-game threat. Before last night, the Jayhawks had won its last six games by an average margin of nearly thirty points. Yowza! Maybe the most unsung team so far. Maybe the most scary team so far. What will the Memphis Tigers do 
when they see real basketball teams? Is Nick Fazekas enough to carry Nevada? Can you count out Coach K and the Dukies? Coach Pitino and the Cardinals? How bout them Heels? Brandan Wright has scored in double figures in five of his last six games, including a career-high twenty-four against N.C. State on Wednesday. The Salukis? For real? For real, for real? Yes they are. Did you see the Evansville game? Did you see 6-foot-7, 235-pound, Saluki junior Randal Falker steal the show? Steal the show with a career-high thirty points on thirteen of fifteen shooting. Steal the show with a game-high seven rebounds. The Butler 
Pigram: Twenty-nine points, eighteen dimes and grabbed eight boards the other night. Talk about a monster. The Winthrop Eagles. Decimation in the Big South quarters. This team could be Sweet Sixteen bound. Keep flying under the radar and the Eagles are ready to shock the world. Muhammad Ali style. My homer pick? Holy Cross. First, the have to take care of business.
First, they have to take care of Bucknell. But once that buffalo soldiering is done, Keith Simmons and defensive dynamo Torey Thomas will make some noise come March. Who do I like? Is that what you’re asking? I’m gonna pick two. Get the papers, get the papers. Is that fair? Do you care. Do I dare? I’m picking Georgetown and the Ohio State University. Kinda like Kansas too. Is that three? Oh well. There I said it. March Madness, whodayalike?
Chief Wahoo and the Cleveland Indians. Seems open and shut to me. Far beyond bad taste. Downright demeaning. I can’t believe he still exists. Honestly. The team believes that its logo is justified because Chief Wahoo “is not animated or humanized and insensitive themes such as tomahawks, tepees and warriors on horseback are avoided.” Great. We are looking at the same picture right? “The logo is simply a caricature that has enjoyed decades of fan appeal in the Northeast Ohio area.” Hmm, weren’t 
human? Are we inferior to whites? That kind of puts us in a class with all these other mascots. You know, eagles, donkeys and pigs. (Worse yet, Mr. Met) That’s really disrespectful. I’m just wondering, are any of you slightly understanding where we’re coming from?” Not really. The tragedy that befell the Native Americans in this country is barely taught. Along with slavery, it is our shame. If Native Americans are that offended by these names, get rid of them. Who cares? When I was little, UMass were the Red Men. Now they’re the Minutemen. No one even remembers they were the Red Men. No one cares. No one is hurt if the names are changed. Many are hurt if they stay the same. May I suggest….the Aristocrats?
Chinese wall. Standing tall in first place. Boston College, first place in the almighty ACC. In first place convincingly. Playing with tenacity, dignity, unity, electricity, indestructibility. They are a sight to see. You saw them yesterday. You saw them beat Florida State. Beat Florida State with a clutch fifteen-foot jumper with three seconds left on the clock. Put the Seminoles in shock. The Seminoles and their Tomahawk Chop. Florida State has already Tomahawk Chopped Duke, Maryland, Florida and Virginia Tech this year. 
school. His Horizon High School of San Diego squad won back-to-back California Division IV state titles. He averaged 23 points and 14 rebounds as a senior. Studly in college. A leading candidate for ACC Player of the Year. A scorer. A great scorer. He scores down low. He scores from the outside. He scores from three. He scores with regularity. Averages a cool twenty per game. Good for first in the ACC. Should finish his career with over 2,000 points. But that's not all. He's no one trick pony. Not he. He plays D. Plays it with tenacity. One and a half steals a game. He can rebound. Should finish with close to 1000 boards for his career. 
Grabbing nine a game. That's good enough for second in the ACC. First in offensive boards. But those are just numbers. BC fans love Jared because he always transcends the stats. Henry David Thoreau style. BC fans love him because his only objective is finding a way to win the game. Like Herm Edwards always says: "You play to win the game!" That's just what Dudley does. He does the little things. Always in full swing. He's all that and a chicken wing. The little things. He makes the release pass-before-the-pass. The pass that does not carry an official assist. He makes the beautiful baseline cut. He takes the charge. He helps to bring the ball up under pressure. He back-taps a rebound to someone else. Yes, sometimes it 
even has to do with making a basket. A tisket a tasket. It had to with that yesterday. Down four yesterday. 2:48 left yesterday. There's Dudley. He fiddles. He diddles. He puts up the impossible three. The circus three. Drains it. And one! All tied up folks, all tied up! You know the rest. BC. BC goes on to victory. Remains atop the almighty ACC. Thanks to one Jared Dudley.
Man-child, he will make you cry. Man-child, man-child, man-child. He’s the apple of your eye. -Neneh Cherry
nobody. I’d be amazed if they even lose another game. They're putting folks to shame. Say my name. They’ve moved up the polls to number three but they remain number one in my heart. The main reason? You know by now. How many different ways can I say it? Greg Oden. The Man Child. The Beast. The Gigantic-O. There is nobody in the NBA right now I wouldn’t trade to land this guy. Nobody. He is going to win NBA Championship after NBA championship. There is nobody in the college game who can come near him. Nobody. You can Kevin Durant me, I'm still not biting. He completely alters the other team’s game. Not in my hizzy. Striking fear into the hearts of men. Over and over again. Knocking balls into orbit like my main man John Glenn. He is not alone. He does not play in a vacuum. He plays alongside his old high school teammate. Mike Conley Jr. A tough kid who like the Gigantic-O, has grown accustomed to winning. This kid runs the show and can make shots with both hands. He’s got wheels. His father was an Olympian in track. Mike Jr. plays an unselfish game but can fill it up if he has to. This cat is one of the best floor generals to come around in a while. He makes you smile. A Triple
threat. Triple trouble. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Then there’s Dunbar’s own Daequan Cook. Good Look Daequan Cook. Put that in your rhyming book. This kid can shoot. His jump shot is pure and he’s got range. He’s athletic and can finish at and above the rim. These three kids along with Ivan Harris, Ron Lewis and Othello Hunter are going to be tough to beat. Tough to unseat. They're a tough cut of meat. Tough as concrete. Can you feel the heat? This team, coached by Thad Matta, Thad Matta, who has coached all of his teams to at least 20 victories, is going to be tough to beat. Impossible to beat. They will tear those meeces to pieces. Make mincemeat out of ‘em. Everybody else is playing for second.