They got the power, they got the speed to be the best in the National League.  Well this is the year and the Cubs are real, so come on down to Wrigley Field.  -Steve Goodman 

Public Service Announcement:  Friendly confines?  I’m not so sure.  The Cubs may have been the best team in the National League during the regular season, but they sure did look sloppy last night.  And the night before.  Lou Piniella:  The last two days, they’ve probably been the two worst games we’ve played all year.”  The Cubs made four errors last night.  One from each infield position.  It's only the second time in major league history that a team had an error from each infield position in a postseason game.  The other time?  Game One of the 1934 World Series.  The Tigers had errors from Hank Greenberg (1B), Charlie Gehringer (2B), Billy Rogell (SS) and two from Marv Owen (3B).  Detroit lost the game, 8-3, to the Cardinals.  I ain’t surprised.  How could I be?  The Cubs have a 7-20 postseason record at Wrigley Field.  Storied old Weeghman Park is the only venue in major-league history in which the home team has a record more than five games under .500 in the postseason.  Egads man!  You can’t win a pennant like that.  You just can’t.  Mr. Cub may call Wrigley the Friendly Confines.  I cannot.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Down…The paint is peelin’.  Now…When the chips are down.  Down…You gotta lose all feelin’.  Now…when the chips are down.  Down…Your head goes round ‘n’ round.  -Terror Squad

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  I love baseball.   I never got to bat in the major leagues.  I would have liked to have had that chance.  Just once.  To stare down a big league pitcher.  To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink.  Make him think you know something he doesn’t.  That’s what I wish for.  Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it.  To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball.  To run the bases - stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag.  That’s my wish, Ray Kinsella.  That’s my wish.  And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?  Yes there is, Archie.  Yes there is.  The 200 men representing eight cities will create enough magic to make all our dreams true.  MLB baseball.  MLB Playoff baseball.  It’s why we hung around so long.  We hung around so long to hear stuff like: There’s a long drive… It’s gonna be, I believe….. The Giants win the pennant!  The Giants win the pennant!  The Giants win the pennant!  The Giants win the pennant! WAHOO!  Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck, of the left field stands!  The Giants win the pennant, and they’re goin’ crazy! They’re goin’ crazy! Heeeey-oh!  We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  Deep to left! Yastrzemski will not get it — it’s a home run!  A three-run home run for Bucky Dent and the Yankees now lead by the score of 3-2!  Bucky Dent has just hit his fourth home run of the year and look at that Yankees bench out to greet him.  We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight!  What kind of stuff are we gonna hear this year?

Rockies Phillies:  September 13.  The Rockies leave the City Of Brotherly Love after a two game split.  Even Steven.  Kissing your sister.  Yichhh!  So, we meet again?  Meet again three weeks and two incredible stories later.  The Rockies and the Fighting Phills will attempt to prolong their epic dramas in a best-of-five National League Division Series.  So what will we hear?  Will we hear:  Matt Holliday!  That ball is going and it ain’t coming back!   Matt Holliday.  MVP!  MVP!  MVP!  Matt Holliday.  The hero of the play-in game.  The one for everything.  For all the marbles.  All the starbles.  All the Yougoslavian Dinarbles.  All the come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles.  Matt Holliday capped his superstar season by obliterating twelve years of futility and irrelevancy.  Is that what we’ll hear?  Or will we hear this:  Swing…and a long drive, watch this baby, outta here!  Home run.  Jimmy Rollins.  The real MVP!  MVP!  MVP!  The Mets had a chance to win the World Series last year.  Last year is over.  I think we are the team to beat in the NL East, finally.  Jimmy talked the talk.  Jimmy walked the walk.  These cleats are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do.  One of these days these cleats are gonna walk all over you.  I say these cleats walk all over the Rockies.

Diamondbacks Cubs:  The Diamondbacks posted the best record in the National League.  The Cubs are the team everybody’s pulling for.  The Diamondbacks won ninety games.  Nobody knows how they expect to compete against the Cubs.  That’s why they play the games.  So what will it be?  Will it be:  Long drive…way back…warning track…wall…you can touch em’ all, Jeff Sazlazar.  Huh?  Jeff Slalazar?  Yup.  Jeff Salazar.  Reserve outfielder Jeff Salazar.  Pinch hitting Jeff Salazar.  Bernie Carbo style.  Jeff Salazar saved the season.  Saved the season back on September 10.  Scratched from the lineup because of a sore ankle, Salazar came on to deliver a pinch-hit three-run bomb in the ninth inning to give Arizona a 5-3 win at San Francisco.  That pinch-hit three-run bomb solidified the season for the Baby Backs.  And it’s contributions like that, from everybody, that make these guys what they are.  A T-E-A-M.  Nine players on the field functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other.  Or might we hear this:  That ball is driven way back…outta here!  Derrek Lee!  2006 was not a very good year for Lee.  Broken wrist.   Cubs go 19-40 in his absence.  His three-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Leber’s congenital amaurosis, a rare genetic disease resulting in loss of vision.  This year’s been a lot better.  Batted over .400 for most of the first two months of the season.  The heart and power of the Cubs line-up.  Late season power surge.   If Lee gets going, like he was two seasons ago, there’s no one on the other team that can match him.  He has the ability to put this team on his back and carry them to the next round by himself.  That being said, I like the D-Backs here. 

Yankees Indians:  Three of the four highest-payroll teams in the American League will be in the playoffs. The fourth playoff team ranks second-to-last in payroll in the AL.  That fourth team is the Indians.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have no problems with spending.  None.  But What Mark Shapiro did with this team is nothing short of remarkable.  Nothing.  What will we hear in this one?  Will it be this:  Swing and a drive, deep to center, a WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back - GONE!  Trot Nixon!  Yup.  Old friend Trot.  Bo may know some things.  Bo knows this.  What?  And Bo knows that.  What?  But Bo don`t know jack, cause Bo can`t rap.  Bo may know this and that, but Trot knows the Yankees.  For eight years of his career he played against them nineteen times a season as a member of the Red Sox.  The Yankees went 6-0 against the Indians during the regular season.  Nixon hit .429 against them.  Something to think about.  Or will we hear this: Swung on and there it goes!  That ball is high! It is far!  It is…Gone!  An A-Bomb.  From A-Broad!  A-Broad’s Yankees legacy depends on it. He was the man during the regular season.  A rock at third base.  A nightmare in the heart of the New York order.  But if he does nothing in this post-season, none of it matters.  You saw what happened last fall.  Last fall, Rodriguez stumbled and bumbled through the division series against Detroit.  Stumbled and bumbled and got dropped in the order.  I don’t see that happening this year.  I don’t see the Yankees winning either.

Red Sox Angels:  Saving the best for last.  Last year, no soup for us!  This year, I couldn’t be happier.  But happy doesn’t pay the piper.  Happy doesn’t feed the baby.  Happy doesn’t walk the dog.  The Sox went wire to wire in the division.  We need them to go wire to wire in the post season.  Anything else is failure.  We need to hear:  …swing and there it goes…light tower power for Manny Ramirez!  We need Manny to be Manny.  We know what Big Papi will do.  What Big Papi always does.  But we need Manny.  He is a difference maker.  An earth quaker.  A pitcher shaker.  We need him, and I think we’ll get him.  I don’t need to hear this:  And the halo shines tonight!  Oh my!  I don’t need to see Vladdy shine tonight or any other night.  He strikes fear in the heart of men.  Strikes fear in every part of men.  Strikes fear in the Rene Descartes of men.  I’m hoping against hope fear strikes out.  I’m hoping he is as ####ed up as I hope he is.  I’m picking the Sox.  Anything else would be blasphemy.

Public Acknowledgements:  Field of Dreams, Russ Hodges, Bill White, Joe Buck, Rocky Mountain News, Jeff Kingery, Clockwork Orange, Harry Kalas, Nancy Sinatra, Greg Schulte, Hoosiers, Len Kasper, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Tom Hamilton, Tribe Called Quest, John Sterling, Jerry Trupiano, #### Enberg and Jimmy Piersall

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Ain’t no stoppin’ us now.  We’re on the move.  Ain’t no stoppin’ us now.
We’ve got the groove.  -McFadden & Whitehead

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Hey, hey, holy mackerel, no doubt about it, the Cubs are on their way!  Hey, hey, holy mackerel, no doubt about it, the Cubs are gonna hit today!  They sure hit yesterday.  Aramis Ramirez sure hit yesterday.  Aramis Ramirez had a huge day.  A colossal day.  A monster day.  A tremendous day.  Aramis Ramirez went four for five with two homers, two RBIs, and three runs scored.  Holy Cow!  Just in the nick of time.  The Cubs needed this one.  They needed this 12-3 shellacking of the Cardinals.  Needed it bad.  Real bad.  Because I’m bad, I’m bad.  Come On.  You know I’m bad, I’m bad.  You know it.  The Cubs came into this one-game homestand having lost five of seven games.  Not the stuff legends are made.  They came into this one-game homestand having lost two of three to the pathetic Pittsburgh Pirates.  Not the stuff champions are made.  With this win, the Cubs moved back into a first-place tie with the Brew Crew.  The floundering Brew Crew.  The Brew Crew, who just lost 9-0 themselves to said same pathetic Pittsburgh Pirates.  The division is there for the taking.  There for the making.  There for the big chocolate caking.  The third-place Red Birds have lost four in a row and six straight road games.  The third-place Red Birds are three games back as they head to Cincy for a three-game series with the Little Red Machine.  If the Cubs want it.  They can have it.  They can make it their own with more hitting from the likes of Ramirez and Derrek Lee.  It might be…It could be…It is!  It was.  Derrek Lee and Ramirez homered in a five-run fourth, and Ramirez added another solo shot in a four-run eighth yesterday.  That’s what it’s going to take to win this thing.  The Cubbies have struggled the last couple of weeks to put runs on the board and lost a couple of tough games.  This seventeen hit, twelve run outburst could propel Chicago to the promised land.  The dogs on Main Street holw 'cause they understand.  If I could take one moment into my hands.  Mister I ain't a boy, no I'm a man.  And I believe in a promised land.  Playoffs baby, playoffs.  And in the playoffs, a staff that includes Ted Lilly, Jason Marquis and Carlos Zambrano himself, could be poised to do some things.  Some big things.  Things that may make Cubs fans forget about some other things.  Things like Don Zimmer’s blundering.  Things like Steve Garvey’s fist pumping.  Things like Leon Durham’s booting.  Things like Gary Gaetti’s bomb hit in vain.  Things you want to forget.  Cubs fans and players alike must be asking themselves:  Why not us?  Why not now?  All right!  Lemme hear ya!  Ah-One!  Ah-Two!  Ah-Three!  Take me out to the ballgame…

Public Acknowledgements:  Harry Caray, the King of Pop and the Boss

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  You can’t disrespect it.  I’m the resurrected.  Back from the dead.  Just to mess with your head.  -House of Pain

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Ruh roh Reorge!  What do we have here?  The JV Central.  There’s a #### in our midst.  Cardinals good ####.  The Milwaukee Brewers are coming apart at the seams.  I fall to pieces.  Time only adds to the flame.  The Chicago Cubs can’t buy a win.  ‘Cause I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.  But the St. Louis Cardinals are playing for keeps.  Putting mugs to sleeps.  Taming opponents like Little Bo Peeps.  Bringing their tails behind them.  The Milwaukee Brewers just brought their tails behind them.  They may just get their tails swept behind them.  The Cardinals have been downright pummeling the Brew Crew.  They’ve been good to the last drop.  Two nights ago the Red Birds mixed in seventeen singles in with their season-best nineteen hits.  Yowza!  They scored six runs in the fifth inning and crushed Milwaukee 12-4.  Jim Edmonds went 4-for-6 with three RBIs.  Albert Pujols added three hits and scored three runs.  The reigning World Series champions have just clawed their way back into the race.  Go Speed Racer!  Go Speed Racer, Go!  Their going all right.  Last night, Joel Pineiro got his second straight victory.  Last night, Albert Pujols, Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds all went yard.  Last night, the out of nowhere Cardinals moved within 3½ games of the NL Central-leading Brewers.  Last night, they won their fourth straight, seventh of their last ten.  Last night, she said: Oh, baby, don’t feel so down.  The Cardinals ain’t feeling down.  How could they be?  How could they be with the feel good story of the year, Rick Ankiel?  How could they be with the MV3 tearing it up.  The MV3.  Scott Rolen.  Jim Edmonds.  Phat Albert Winnie the Pujols.  Last night, the Cardinals got four runs out of bombs hit by the MV3.  Rolen fell a triple shy of hitting for the cycle.  Edmonds ended the second-longest home run drought of his fifteen-year major-league career.  Pujols smashed the 275th home run of his seven-year career.  The game was the first in which the MV3 have all homered since April 22.  For the first time this season, St. Louis is guaranteed three series win in a row.   And know this sports fans, all of them have come against teams with winning records.  In their last three games, the Cardinals have 50 hits and have outscored their foes 32-9.  Holy cow!  With a beleaguered division there for the taking, the Cardinals have just made themselves the team to take it.

Public Acknowledgements:  The Jetsons, Dian Fossey, Patsy Cline, Beatles, Maxwell House, St. Louis Post Dispatch, Mother Goose, Chim Chim, Strokes and the Scooter, may you rest in piece:  Heaven must have needed a shortstop.

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six Two and even!

 

Josh Q. Public:  I keep working my way back to you babe, with a burning love inside.  I’m working my way back to you babe, with a happiness that died.  I let it get away.  Payin’ every day.  -Frankie Vali

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  The 1951 Giants did it.  They came back.  They came back from thirteen games down.  Thirteen games down to cross town rivals, Dem Bums.  The hated Brooklyn Dodgers.  Came back, and won the National League Pennant.  The Shot Heard Round the World.  The Giants win the pennant and they’re going crazy. They’re going crazy, I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it, I will not believe it!  The 1964 Cardinals did it.  They came back.  They came all the way back from seventh place.  The Redbirds were 28-31 when they acquired Lightning Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio.  The immortal Ernie Broglio.  The rest, they say, is history.  The Redbirds acquired Lightning Lou Brock and eventually won the NL Pennant.  The Redbirds acquired Lightning Lou Brock  and eventually won the NL Pennant and the World Series.  The heat was on back in 1964.  I hate to do this but, the Bombers did it too.  The Bronx Zoo Yankees of 1978 stormed back.  Stormin’ Norman Scwarzkopffed back.  Stormin’ Norman Scwarzkopffed from fourteen back in the standings to eventually force a heartbreaker.  A heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker.  Don’t you mess around with me!  Heartbreaker of a tiebreaker against my beloved Red Sox.  Sure it’s a little harsh…but, here.  Cannonball it, cannonball!  Cannonball comin’ through, cannonball!  The 2004 Red Sox.  They came back.  Down 0-3.  Cannonball Dave Roberts.  Cannonball Curt Schilling.  Cannonball Big Papi.  Cannonball Cave Man.  Cannonball the greatest comeback of all time.  Those comebacks were about great teams.  Those comebacks were about great memories. They were special.  Orange Blossom Special, rollin’ down the seaboard line.  Today we’re gonna talk about a different kind of comeback.  Individual comebacks.  Captain Comebacks.  Jim Harbaugh style.  A different kind of special.  Nomah special.  Big Hurt special.  Rickey Henderson special.  Brett Saberhagen special.  Bo Jackson special.  Comeback Player of the Year special.  Ridin’ the range once more.  Totin’ my old .44.  Back in the saddle again.  Whoopi-ty-aye-oh, rockin’ to and fro.  Back in the saddle again.  Whoopi-ty-aye-yay, I go my way.  Back in the saddle again. 

The Indians believe Jhonny Peralta will  be back in the saddle again.  Yup, Jhonny.  Make sure you spell it right.  The Tribe thinks he will bounce back.  Bounce back in a big way.  Bounce back by April Fool’s Day.  Bounce back to the .886 OPS Jhonny Peralta of 2005.  Back when he was glad to be alive.  Back before he took a dive.  Back before he was an adventure in the field.  Back when he batted .292 with twenty-four bombs and seventy-eight RBIs.  All Indians records for a shortstop.  In the off season of ‘05-06, Jhonny grew two inches.  Had a tough time adjusting.  But he’s ok now.  He worked hard this winter in Cleveland.  Peralta also had LASIK surgery to correct his vision.  I remember hearing the same thing about Greg Vaughn one season.  Then he went out and hit 50 dings with the Padres.  Jhonny’s back in the saddle again.  Quick Jhonny Peralta fun fact:  The unusual spelling of his first name is attributed to a clerical error on his birth certificate.  He has refused to have it changed.

Brad Lidge will be back in the saddle again.  Teammate Brad Ausmus seems to think so: “By the end of the season, he developed confidence in his two-seamer (sinking fastball) and it will carry over.  It is a very good pitch for him, because it doesn’t sink straight down; it bores in on right-handed hitters and makes his slider that much more effective.  He will be fine.”   I think so too.  Will he be Light Out once again?  Is he still reeling from the Phat Albert Pujols home run in the ‘05 NLCS?   He still has the stuff.  He’s still tough enough.  He’s still up to snuff.  If he can harness that fastball, that is.  Time to play the game!  Time to bring the pain!  Time to get back in the saddle again!  Quick Brad Lidge fun fact:  Lidge is the all-time leader in strikeouts-per-nine-innings (12.98) among pitchers with at least 200 appearances in their career.

Derrek Lee, Chicago Cubs.  He should be back in the saddle again.  The wrist injury took this superstar from forty-six to eight jacks.  From one-hundred and one to seventeen extra-base hits.  Now he’s healthy.  Now he has thunder around him.  Now it’s time to bring the lightning.  The last time Derrek Lee was healthy for a full season, he had a higher batting average than Phat Albert Pujols.  He had more doubles than Pujols.  He had more triples than Pujols.  He had more bombs and had a higher OPS than Pujols.  Can he better than Pujols this year?  I dunno about all that.  I don’t know if he’s all that phat.  I dunno if he’s phatter than that phat cat.  I do know, he’ll be back in the saddle again.  Quick Derrek Lee fun fact:  Derrek Lee received a full-ride scholarship offer from the University of North Carolina to play basketball.

Rich Harden  has the ability to win a Cy Young.  I’m not just flinging dung.  Not speaking in tongues.  Harden has a 30-16 career mark with overpowering stuff.  Mighty stuff.  Marvelous stuff.  Monumental stuff.  Mind blowing stuff.  Magnificent stuff.  But his physical problems have taken him from thirty-one to nineteen to nine starts in three years.  Word has it he’s now fit as a fiddle.  A Stradivarius.  With Big Barry Planet Zito gone, the A’s need Rich Harden.  They need his ghost pitch to be most Caspery.  At this point in the spring, Harden is throwing only fastballs and changeups, and he’s dominating.  He just struck out five of the last six hitters he faced and tossed two scoreless innings in his team’s 4-3 win over the San Diego Padres.  A’s fans gotta love that.  They gotta love the fact he’s back in the saddle again.  Quick Rich Harden fun fact:  Harden began the 2003 season with Midland, and in 2 games, he had a 2-0 record and pitched 13 perfect innings, striking out 17 along the way.

Coco Crisp will be riding high in the saddle again.  Crisp hurt his hand the first week of the season last year.  Crisp was playing with a little bit of fear.  Never really got out of second gear.  Never returned to to full form.  Never hit fastballs the way he once could.  Now he’s all healed up.  Now, with Julio Lugo on board, he can bat in a more comfortable spot in the two or eight spot.  Now he can get hot.  Hot as the Minnesota Vikings’ yacht.  Now, he can be Coco Crisp, not just Johnny Damon’s replacement.  Now, he’s back in the saddle again.  Quick Coco Crisp fun fact:  Coco's real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp.

Eric Gagne, Texas.  Eric Ggne’s back in the saddle again.  I know, I know.  I know he’s only thrown fifteen and a third innings the last two years.  But with his gigantic heart.  With his gigantic heart and giganticker changeup.  With his gigantic heart, giganticker change and the gigantickest of breaking balls, he’s back in the saddle.  Bigger than big, taller than tall.  Quicker than quick, stronger than strong. Ready to fight for right, against wrong.  Gigantor, Gigantor, Gigantor.  If he can throw eighty-nine to ninety-three, he can be a young Trevor Hoffman.  Deja vu all over again.  Can he go fifty-five for fifty-five again?  Can he go eighty-four for eighty-four for again?  Can he throw for an incredible 1.20 ERA, 137 Ks and 20 walks in 82 1/3 innings pitched again?  Probably not.  Who could?  He can ride back in the saddle again.  Game over!   Quick Eric Gagne fun fact:  Gagne and catcher Russell Martin became the first French-Canadian-born battery in a MLB game.

Honorable Mentions:  Hideki Matsui, Jason Varitek, A-Broad- if you can call it a comeback, Randy Johnson, Pedro, Bartolo Colon, Armando Benitez, Nick Johnson, Todd Helton, Barry Bonds, Zack Geinke, Bobby Crosby, Carl Pavano, Jason Isringhausen, Hank Blalock, Brad Wilkerson, Rany Wolf, Jon Lester- I hope he does it, I hope he does it!, Jason Kubel, Darin Erstad, Jeremy Hermidia, Ben Sheets, Aaron Rowand, Mike Hampton.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!