Josh Q. Public:  Do that to me one more time.  Once is never enough with a man like you.  Do that to me one more time.  I can never get enough of a man like you.  -Captain & Tennille

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Like my main man Roy Hobbs always says:  ”God, I love baseball.”  Me too Roy, me too.  I love my Red Sox, and I love Big Papi.  The most feared hitter in all of baseball.  The most cheered hitter in all of baseball.  The most endeared hitter in all of baseball.  Finally!  Finally, it has happened to me.  Right in front of my face, my feelin’s can’t describe it.  Finally it has happened to me.  Right in front of my face and I just cannot hide it.  Finally, David Ortiz has broken out.  Finally, David Ortiz has spoken out.  Finally, David Ortiz has found his stroken out.   David Ortiz didn’t hit a home run during Spring Training.  Oh for eleven in his first three games of the regular season.  Struck out in his first at bat in his fourth game last night.  Enough is enough.  Second at bat.  Single.  Next at bat.  Going, going, gone!  How about that?  Now it’s baseball season.  Big Papi wins another one.  Now the game is on.  The clutchest of the clutch once again proved that he is too much.  The man with the golden touch.  Bill James may disagree.  Bill James may tell you there’s no such thing as clutch.  Bill James can go to Hell.  I saw Senor Octubre go yard off of Jared Washburn in the 10th inning of Game Three of the 2004 ALDS.  Ohhhh Doctor!   I saw Senor Octubre go yard in the twelfth inning off of Paul Quantrill in Game Four of the 2004 ALCS.  Whoa Nelly!  I saw Senor Octubre smash a fourteenth-inning single to center field driving in the Caveman from second base in Game Five of the 2004 ALCS.  Holy Cow!  I saw all of those things.   I saw all of those things and I saw a whole lot more.  Who’s your Papi?  No such thing as clutch?  Whatta maroon! Whatta ignoramus!  Last season, Papi’s power numbers dipped.  But, Big Papi is healthy again.  His ####ed up knee has been surgically repaired.  His sore shoulder has had a winter of rest.  Geronimo, look out below!  Last night was only the beginning.  Only just the start.  The greatest clutch hitter in baseball history done did it again!  So bring on the Yankees.  Bring on anybody.  Bring on everybody.  We got Papi and ain’t nobody does me better.  Makes me happy, makes me feel this way.

Public Acknowledgements:  The Natural, Ce Ce Pennison, Mel Allen, Jerry Coleman, Keith Jackson, Phil Rizzuto, Bugs Bunny and Chaka Khan

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!