Josh Q. Public:  Pégate para acá y siente el impacto.  Pegate para acà y siente el impacto.  Pegate para acà, pegate para acá, pegate para acá y siente el impacto.  -Daddy Yankee

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Pedro Martinez.  Vote Pedro!  Everybody’s yammering about Roger Clemens.  Everybody’s jammering about Andy Petitie.  What about Pedro?  What about, pound for pound, the best pitcher of this generation?  What about, pound for pound, the cleanest pitcher of this generation?  Zestfully clean.  Zestfully clean.  You’re not fully clean until you’re Zestfully clean.   Pedro:  “I dominated that era and I did it clean.  I can stand by my numbers and I can be proud of them.”  He should be proud of them.  Proud as a peacock.  Proud as a peacock in 1999.  Best pitcher I ever saw in 1999.  ‘Cuz they say two thousand zero zero party over, oops out of time.  So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999.  Fenway Park.  Dominican flags galore.  Punchados galore.  In 1999 Pedro went 23-4.  In 1999, Pedro had a 2.07 ERA.  In 1999, Pedro threw a club record 313 strikeouts.  Yowza!  Need more?  Need more, senor?  Need more so you can know the score?  In 1999, struck out fifteen or more batters six times.  In 1999, he pitched a masterpiece seventeen punchado, one hit game against the hated New York Yankees.  In 1999, he allowed only thirty-seven walks.  Big deal, you say?  Who cares, you say?  Those thirty seven walks are the lowest total in history for a member of the 300-strikeout club!  How about that?  How about this?  In 1999, Pedro only gave up nine dings.  None of them with runners on base.  Goodness!  Greatness.  The 1999 All Star Game.  Ted Williams is wheeled into Fenway.  Grown men are brought to tears.  Pedro is the American League starter.  More grown men are brought to tears.  Barry Larkin is brought is brought to tears.  Larry Walker is brought to tears.  Slamming Sammy Sosa is brought to tears.  Mark McGwire is brought to tears.  Brought to tears as Pedro strikes out the first four batters he faces.  First time in All-Star Game history that a player had struck out the first four batters.  Kevin Mitchell reaches on an error.  Down goes Bagwell!  Five of six total batters.  Ties the A.L. record of five strikeouts in an All-Star Game.  He did it in two innings.  All-Star MVP at Fenway Park.  Do you BELIEVE?  I did.  The rest of the season is a blur.  As your Curly Headed Girlfriend wrote:  “The Red Sox finish their startling regular season in Baltimore today and open a best-of-five playoff series on Wednesday.  The Sox were not expected to be in the 1999 post-season tournament, but are back in the playoffs on the strength of a historic season by their 27-year-old, 5-foot-11, 174-pound right-handed ace.”  Pedro has to leave game one due to back spasms.  Pedro has to leave game one after pitching four shut-out innings due to back spasms.  A collective gasp rises from the city of Boston.  For every win, someone must fail.  But there comes a point when, when we exhale.  We exhaled in game four.  Number four Bobby Orr.  Game tied 8-8 in the fourth.  Here he comes.  Here comes Pedro.  Here comes Pedro in relief.  Pedro finishes the game.  Pedro holds the Indians hitless.  Pedro strikes out eight in six innings.   Pedro is dead.  Long live Pedro!  Pedro is carried off the field by his teammates.  Pedro: “I wasn’t going to let go, I wasn’t going to do that…I had to be out there as long as I could.”  And that’s the way it was with Pedro.  He always wanted the ball.  Always.  He only pitched one game in ALDS against the Yankees.  Seven big innings.  Two paltry hits.  Twelve huge punchados.  Zero runs.  Great game.  Petie beats Clemens.  It’s a moral victory, but nothing more.  Sox lose 4-1 in the series. 

Pedro finished the 1999 season with AL Pitcher of the Month honors for April, May, June, and September.  Pedro finished the 1999 season as the All Star Game MVP.  Pedro finished the 1999 season as Sporting News Pitcher of the Year, ESPN A.L. Pitcher of the Year, ESPN Player of the Year. Thomas A. Yawkey Award (Red Sox MVP), Associated Press Player of the Year, American League Cy Young Award.  He wins the pitching Triple Crown (ERA 2.08, Punchados 313, and Wins 23).  Incredible!  He should have won the MVP too.  He won in first place votes, but two sportswriters left him off the ballot because they thought pitchers had no business winning the MVP.  I-Rod?  C’mon. Who would you rather have had?

Public Acknowledgements:  Napoleon Dynamite, Prince, Dan Shaughnessy, Whitney Houston and Charles VII

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!