josh q. public
by: JoshQPublic
Before Chris Benoit, There Was Lex Luger
Jul 03, 2007 | 6:41AM | report this

Josh Q. Public:  No rapper can rap quite like I can.  I’ll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand.  I’m Bad.  -LL Cool J

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Maybe the nation has already forgotten the Chris Benoit tragedy, but this blogger hasn’t.  That’s why, darling, it’s incredible, that someone so unforgettable, thinks that I am unforgettable too.  The WWE wants you to forget.  Doing everything in their power to make you forget.  Altering history to make you forget.  Forget the horrors.  I’ve seen horrors.  Horrors that you’ve seen.  But you have no right to call me a murderer.  You have a right to kill me.  You have a right to do that.  But you have no right to judge me.  It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means.  Horror.  Horror has a face.  Horror has Vince McMahon’s face.  And Vince wants you to forget.  In fact, the WWE has eliminated nearly every page related to Chris Benoit from their website.  Like the Haitian on Heroes, erasing our memories.  But I won’t forget.  It might’ve been a Saturday night.  It ain’t clear it was so long ago.  It was somewhere across the county line.  A dance or a party, I don’t know.  I won’t forget.  I won’t forget about Lex Luger either.  Maybe you did.

You do remember Miss Elizabeth.  The Lovely Elizabeth.  Macho Man’s girl.  Ooooh Yaaa!  Snap into a Slim Jim!  How could you forget her?  Gorgeous.  Do you remember how she met her demise.  Huh?  Do ya?  Tell me, do you remember when?  Everything in life was so much better then.  Tell me do you remember when?  Do you remember?  Do you remember when Miss Elizabeth was pronounced dead at the Kennestone Hospital in Cobb County, Georgia?  Do you remember that emergency workers were called to a townhouse owned by Lex Luger.  Emergency workers were called to a townhouse owned by Lex Luger and transported the Lovely Elizabeth to the hospital.  Transported the Lovely Elizabeth to the hospital where she died shortly after arrival.  Do you remember that local police previously had responded to a domestic disturbance call to Luger’s home on Easter Sunday?  Local police previously had responded to a domestic disturbance call to Luger’s home on Easter Sunday and arrested Luger for beating Miss Elizabeth senseless.  Do you remember that Luger was out on a $2,500 bond in connection with that incident at the time of Miss Elizabeth’s death?  Police launched an investigation.  An inspectigation.  Go Gadget go.  Police found hydrocodone.  Police found Xanax.  Police found anabolic steroids.  Police found testosterone.  Police found Saizen.  Sound familiar?  Huh?  Does it?  The autopsy showed that the Lovely Elizabeth died of an accidental drug overdose.  Luger was cleared of any wrongdoing in connection with her death.  He was charged with felony drug charges.  A travesty.  A travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.  From that point on, the stink from Wrestling and steroids could not be cleaned with mere tomato juice.  Or could it?  Waste no time, make a change.  Ride that man right off your range.  Rub him out of the roll call.  And drum him out of your dreams.  That’s what Vince McMahon is trying to do.  He is once again breaking out the Campell’s and we cannot be fooled again.  I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution.  Take a bow for the new revolution.  Smile and grin at the change all around.  Pick up my guitar and play.  Just like yesterday.  Then I’ll get on my knees and pray:  We don’t get fooled again!

Public Acknowledgements: Nat King Cole, Apocolypse Now, Kenny Rogers, Boyz II Men, Bananas, South Pacific and the Who.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

2 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NFL, NFL, wrestling
 
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yao_fan
Jul 5, 2007
6:12 AM
Seems to be alot of shady things going on in pro wrestling in the last 10 years or so.

Nice post!

rivjo
Jul 5, 2007
12:49 PM
I never knew that about Elizabeth. It's a shame.

Vince McMahon is a sleezeball. Who does he and all those muscle heads think they're fooling?

Great post and wrestling to me is and always has been a joke.

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JoshQPublic
josh q. public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you’re reading more than one. Good to the last drop!

Josh Q. Public

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