Josh Q. Public:  Disconnect the telephone line.  Relax baby and draw that blind.  Kick off your shoes and sit right down.  Loosen up that frilly French gown.  Tonight’s the night.  It’s gonna be all right.  -Rod Stewart

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go, Daddy-O!  Let’s get ready for the show.  You know I like O-hi-o.  I like the Gigantic-O.  Like him more than Adrian Barbeau.  March Madness is here.  This is it.  Make no mistake where you are.  This is it.  Your backs to the corner.  This is it.  The waiting is over.  No room to run.  No way to hide.  No time for wondering why.  It’s here.  Kenny Loggins style.  Yup this is it.  It’s here.  Whodoyagot?  Whosdoyagot?  Do you got Florida?  Repeat?  Very difficult.  The Gators have taken some bumps.  The Gators have taken some bruises.  They just lost three of five.  Just like last year.  You saw what they did last year.  Can they do it again this year?  You got On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin?  You like ’em after the OSU loss?  You like ‘em after losing big man Brian Butch to a dislocated elbow.  You better like Tucker.  Tucker the chucker.  Tucker the delivery trucker.  Cause that’s what you’re gonna get.  Tucker, Tucker, and more Tucker.  You got the Ducks?  Here I come to save the day!  Are little man Tajuan Porter and big man, Maarty Leunen enough.  Will Tajuan Porter stay giddy in the zone?  Can Aaron Brooks stay clutch?  Can they hang tough.  What about the Terps?  You got them?  You fear the Turtle?  Seven straight in the ACC.  Five players averaging in double figures.  Darryl Strawberry’s boy.  Strawberry has been the Terrapins biggest all-around threat.  A triple threat.  Triple trouble.  Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers.  Averaging 15.2 points, 4.3 rebounds, 3.5 assists You got them?  I got UNLV going pretty far.  Wendell White’s gonna be a star.  Maybe Marilyn McCoo thinks, you don’t have to be a star, baby, to be in my show.  But she’s wrong.  Winthrop?  Everybody’s got them.  Everybody likes them.  When your only losses are to North Carolina, Maryland, Wisconsin and Texas A&M, you have to be liked.  Everybody likes that they’ve just won eighteen straight.  Everybody thinks they’re gonna be great.  ODU?  Davidson?  The Monarchs and the Wildcats?  You got those upset specials?  I wish I was special.  What the hell am I doin’ here?  I don’t belong here.  You like Kansas?  I like Kansas.  I like the Jayhawks.  Ath-uh-letes.  The Jayhawks are hot.  Call the chief ’cause they’re on fire!  Brandon Rush.  Mario Chalmers.  Julian Wright.  I like those sophomores.  UCLA?  You got them?  Nobody plays defense like Arron Afflalo.  Nobody.  But, he better find his daggone jumper.  Can they dance without a big rebounder?  Pitt Panthers?  You sold?  I’m not.  Soft.  Mr. Softie soft.  Here comes Mr. Softie, the soft ice cream man.  Paper Panthers.  They look far better on paper than they do on the court.  You got the Salukis?  Sure is fun to say, ain’t it?  Salukis.  Sounds so nice, I said it twice.  Fun to say this too:  Knock ‘em down.  Roll ‘em around.  Come on defense work!  Defense wins championships.  The Salukis play defense.  Ease your troubles, that’s what they do.  The Dookies?  Really?  You got them?  Good luck.  No soup for you.  Holy Cross?  The Crusaders?  I got them. Homer pick all the way.  I didn’t get the communique.  What’s a Masswhole to say?  Another defensive team.  Coach Willard has ‘em playing team defense.  Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team.  No one more important that the other.  Here comes Car’lina lina.  Here comes Car’lina lina.  We hail from NCU!  Tyler Hansbrough.  Brandan Wright. Ty Lawson.  These Heels still make up the nation’s best offensive/defensive balance.  They look mighty good.  I fear the Hoya.  I got the Hoya Paranoia.  Oh Boya!  Green and Hibbard.  Hibbard and Green.  Playing like a fine tuned machine.  I’m just waiting for Jeff Green to totally bust out.  Bustin’ out, everybody come along.  He’s gonna dance on the funk and make love on this song.  Kyle Weaver and the Washington State Cougars?  I’m not biting.  Soft as church music.  Ya, they play some D, but nope, still not biting.  Who’s gonna score on that team?  You got Texas?  You got Kevin Durant?  You should.  A game breaker.  Heart taker.  Championship maker.  A.J. Abrams is the best shooter in the tourney not named Chris Lofton.  Don’t sleep on DJ Augustin either.  How bout USC?  Nick Young and the Taj Mahal should take this team far.  Baby’s gonna be a star.  Baby you can drive my car.  Drive it all the way to the Sweet Sixteen.  Toot toot ya!  The Screamin’ Eagles?  Jared Dudley!  Jared Dudley!  Jared Dudley!  For Boston, for Boston!  Climb on his back boys and let him take you to the Promised Land.  How did Bobby Knight’s team even get in?  Quite frankly, they’re an abject disastah.  GWU?  My dear old alma mata.  They could win a couple right?  Right?  Are you from Belmont?  I’m from Belmont.  Not the Nashville Belmont.  Not the Bruins Belmont.  A different Belmont.  The Marauders Belmont, but still.  Two six foot ten centers can’t hurt.  #### Roberts?  Hee hee hee ####.   The Memphis Tigers?  You got them?  To me they’re the scariest cats in this thing.  Good chance of getting that ring.  They got the world on a string.  30-3.  I don’t care what conference you come from, that’s impressive.  A nation-leading 22-game winning streak.  Goodness!  Be very, very afraid of these cats.  You got the Aggies?  Acie Law sure is better than Acie Earl.  Ain’t he?  Huh, ain’t he?  UVA?  They got the dynamic duo.  Holy horseshoe Batman, with a little luck, Sean Singletary and J.R. Reynolds could surprise some people.  A lot of people.  With a little luck, we can help it out.  We can make this whole damn thing work out.  Holy heartbreak.  You got the Nevada Wolfpack?  Huh, do ya?  Nick Fazekas and Co. will be chomping at the bit.  Chomping at the bit to show last year’s first-round upset was a fluke.  They just got juked.  They’ll do better than Duke.  Xavier?  I got them.  I got the Muskateers.  M-o-u-s-e!  No mice they.  Drew Lavender, Stanley Burrell and Justin Doellman got their stuff together just in time to go dancing.  Come dancing,
come on brother, have yourself a ball.  Don’t be afraid to come dancing, it’s only natural.  The 49ers of Long Beach State?  I’ve got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah.  I’ve got a feeling, a feeling I can’t hide, no no.  Yeah I’ve got a feeling.  This team pushes it.  Pushes it real good.  I like ‘em.  I like ‘em a lot.  The Great Danes of Albany?  I’ve always liked these guys.  Liked them from way back.  I like Jamar Wilson.  The America East back-to-back MVP.  The owner of his school’s career scoring record.  Go Danes!  Yes sports fans, March Madness is here.  Whodoyagot?

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!